Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.
Author's Note: This fanfic (will) contains harsh language, but I'm giving it a PG-13 rating since it's no worse than what most 14 year-olds use today. If you are offended by harsh language, please leave. This rating, however, may change as the story progresses. Also, this fanfic contains spoilers up to the defeat of the 15th angel. If you don't want to know what is going to happen, don't read this. All comments, even flames are welcomed. This is my first fanfic, so please don't expect too much. This fanfic is set right after the defeat of Arael, the 15th angel, and right before the arrival of the Fifth Child, Kaworu. Thanks to koko775 for proof-reading this.
"You're sure."
"I'm sure." His response was a statement, not a question.
"If you change your mind later, you're still welcomed to come back."
"I won't."
"Shinji, maybe you just have to talk to her... Work things out..." Misato knew whatever she said wasn't going to make a difference. Shinji's mind was made up, but she was still obligated to try.
Shinji gave a forced laugh, then smiled ruefully before continuing.
"I've already tried. I just can't take it anymore. She's always going 'Baka Shinji this, hentai Shinji that' At this point in time, I just want her to stop tormenting me. "
"You could at least wait until she recovers. It wouldn't be too late if you moved out then..."
"I don't want her to know I'm moving out because of her. She's not going to get that satisfaction."
"Fine then. Go." Misato whispered. She extended her finger towards the door. "Keep running like you always do. You'll never solve any problems this way."
Shinji got up, started towards the door, then opened it. Before he stepped out, he turned around.
"I'm not running away from my problems. I'm running towards hope.", he replied.
And with that, he was gone.
Misato's eyes lingered on the door for a moment after it closed. She then leaned against the wall, and closed her eyes. "Will he ever come back?" She wondered. "Dammit, stop thinking like that. Besides, the 5th child is scheduled to come today. What was his name again? Kaworu? Something like that. I just hope Asuka gets better soon. Without her, we're extremely vulnerable... God, there are so many things I have yet to do..."
"Life is a waterfall, we're one in the river, and one again after the
fall...
Swimming through the void, we hear the words; we lose ourselves, but we find
it all?..."
Kaworu Nagisa smiled slightly as he listened to his CD player. He closed his eyes, and followed the tune within his mind.
"What you're listening to is antiquated. It's pre-second impact."
"I know. After that disaster, there hasn't been much progress with music anyways. This is as good as it gets."
"It's all in the eyes of the beholder..."
"Why do you listen to such depressing songs?"
"Because I cannot let go of the past."
"..."
"Sir? We'll be arriving at Tokyo-3 in 20 minutes." said a NERV Section 2 agent. "Prepare yourself."
The only acknowledgement Kaworu gave was a slight nod. He was slightly amused that he was being treated with such high reverence from an adult.
"Humanity is pinning all their hopes on pre-pubescent children... They must be desperate"
Images flash through Asuka Langley Sohryu's mind. Asuka as a child. A ripped doll with stuffing spilling out of it. A doll with a wicked grin on it's face,hanging by it's neck, feet dangling towards the ground.
"My dear little Asuka... Die with me!"
"Ok! I'll die with you! So don't stop being my Mama! Please - Mama!"
"Mama? Who are you? I don't know you..."
Asuka could only watch helplessly, trapped within her own mind.
"NO! It's not true! That's not me!"
"Poor Asuka, abandoned by her Mama. But she won't cry, will she? Oh, no, she's the mighty Asuka Langley Sohryu! She doesn't need anybody, because she can do everything all by herself."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
The voice ignored her, and continued, oblivious to her rantings.
"Too bad nobody loves her. Why, she doesn't even have any friends! Her own Mama was driven to commit suicide by her. Pathetic."
"No! I do have friends! Shinji and Misato! Hikari!"
"You think they actually like you? You keep torturing Shinji and have already driven him away with your words. Misato is just fullfilling her duty anyways. Hikari just pities you because you have no friends.
"I still have Kaji! I love him, and he loves me!"
"Who are you trying to kid? He's old enough to be your father. In his eyes, you're just a child. Nothing more."
"No! It's not true!"
"Denial."
The view shifts. Now, in her eyes are two Asukas. A child holding a doll, and a perfect replica of herself, in a fetal position, trying to hide the tears streaming down her cheek. There is nothing but silence. Then the child speaks.
"Are you lonely?"
The other Asuka is silent. She ignores the child, and continues to sob.
"... Are you lonely?"
The child extends her hand, and reachs for Asuka.
"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! I CAN LIVE BY MYSELF!"
"Do... Do you like me?"
"NO! I DON'T NEED ANYONE!"
"Do you really like me?"
"I CAN LIVE BY MYSELF!"
The child then suddenly vanishes, replaced by the doll which is hanging by it's neck.
"Liar."
"NOOOOOO!"
