Disclaimer: Any characters that you recognize from the show don't belong to
me. I am making no money off of them and am not worth suing.
Author: Catgurl83
Title: Changes Abound
Feedback: Is much loved and appreciated.
Pairing: Josh \ Zoey, CJ \ Toby, mentions of Sam \ Donna
Rating: PG just to be safe.
Author's note: This is the third installment in my Changes series. The first story is Unexpected Changes, which is followed by Continued Changes. Both can be found by clicking on my profile at fanfiction.net.
As always, thanks to Classic She for all of her help with this story!
************
Dropping his backpack in his office, Josh hurried to Leo's office. The day before, at court, Leo had told Josh that they needed to talk. As Serena was at home waiting to find out what had happened and was probably very frightened, Leo had told Josh that they could talk first thing the next morning.
Outside Leo's office, Margaret told Josh to go on in. Taking a breath, Josh braced himself for the conversation to come.
As the door opened, Leo looked up. "Sit down."
Josh sat in the visitor's chair across from Leo's desk.
Leo picked up a newspaper and tossed it at Josh who caught it easily.
Josh glanced down at the newspaper's cover and groaned. The cover photo was of all of them leaving the courthouse the day before but they had zoomed in so that only Josh, Zoey, and Leo's arm were shown. The picture made it look like Josh and Zoey had been walking together alone, instead of what actually happened, all of them were walking in a group as they pushed past the clamoring reporters.
"Every major paper in the country has a similar front page."
"It was all over the TV last night as well." Josh said quietly but angrily.
"You had no indication that that was going happen?" Leo demanded.
"We didn't even think that he'd cross-examine Zoey. He didn't last time." Josh explained. He ran his hand through his hair. "How's Zoey?"
"You haven't spoken to her?"
Josh barely held back his flinch at Leo's tone. "Not since we left court yesterday."
"She spent the night in the Residence."
"Good."
"Is there any truth to the questions?"
"We're friends Leo." Josh said with a deep sigh.
"That's it?" Leo pressed. He had spent the evening before placating the President and musing on Josh and Zoey's relationship. Thinking back, he was able to come up with many scenarios where they had seemed very close. Too close? Possibly.
Josh stood and crossed the room. "I still have feelings for Donna."
Josh did still have feelings for Donna, Leo knew. But still. he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was Leo.
"I care about Zoey." Josh went on. "She's one of my best friends." He turned back to Leo. "Hell Leo, she is my best friend now that Sam and Donna are gone."
"She's barely more than a child, Josh."
"She doesn't act like a child." Josh disagreed. "She's more mature than most people twice her age."
"That doesn't erase the age difference." Leo stood as he gave a sigh of his own. "Hell Josh, you're twenty-two years older than Zoey."
Josh leaned against the wall. "I know that." He'd told himself that same thing dozens of times. It didn't sound any more convincing when Leo said it.
When did this discussion change? Leo wondered. When did it go from, Josh and Zoey definitely not being a thing, a couple, to the reasons why it was a bad idea?
"Spending time with Zoey makes me happy." Josh went on, speaking softly now. "She makes Serena happy. I'm happier, that's not the right word, relaxed, content, comfortable, I don't know. When I'm with her, I feel better than I ever have felt with anyone, that is besides Donna or Serena."
"Damn it Josh. We aren't having this conversation. It can't happen."
"What if it already is?" Josh countered.
Leo moved closer to the younger man. "I'm asking you one more time. Are you and Zoey romantically involved?" His eyes bore into Josh's.
Josh hesitated. He didn't know how to answer that. He'd spend the entire night trying to answer that question to himself. All he could come up with was what he'd just told Leo. "I don't know."
Leo slowly sat back down. He had halfway expected Josh's answer. Just by saying that he didn't know, Josh had answered Leo's question. "What are you going to do?"
Josh stared at his boss.
"Are you going to pursue this.relationship?"
Josh again ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I want to. But it would cause so many problems if we did get together." He spoke quietly.
Leo didn't say what he was thinking. He didn't say that it looked to him like they were together. They just hadn't admitted it to themselves yet. "It would cause a media frenzy." He gestured to the paper that Josh had set back on his desk. "But then, that has already happened."
Josh was silent for a few minutes before finally asking, "What did you tell the President?" He knew that the President was probably waiting to pounce on Leo with questions the second he walked into the West Wing.
"I told him that as far as I knew, Alana's council was just reaching. He had nothing substantial against you so he decided to fabricate something. I told the President that I'd talk to you today to be sure."
"Now what?"
"He wants to talk to you after our discussion is done." Leo informed him. "I expect that he'll ask you about your relationship with Zoey. I'd suggest that you don't answer him as you did me. You need to decide what you want before you talk to him. Is a relationship with Zoey worth it"
Josh sat back in the visitor's chair.
Leo picked up a file and started reading.
"I know what I want." Josh said after several minutes.
************
CJ sat on the couch in her fiancée's office. "We should have figured it out before yesterday. All of the signs were there."
Toby just continued writing as she spoke.
"They spend so much time together. Every time I see Serena, she talks about something Zoey said or Zoey did. It's always Zoey this, or Zoey that. And at Sam's funeral, not only did Zoey stand with Josh during the graveside service but she rode back to the house in the limo with Josh and Serena."
Toby finally looked up. "They might be friends like Zoey said on the stand yesterday."
CJ shook her head. "Whether they know it or not, those two are more than friends."
"You once said that exact same thing about Josh and Donna." Toby reminded her. "Less than six months later, Donna married Sam."
CJ shrugged. "I was right about Josh. He did have feelings for her."
"Whether or not they have feelings for each other, they cannot act on them."
"It would be a sex scandal." CJ agreed. "And I doubt that the President would take it well."
Toby went back to the speech he was writing.
"Still, I can't see Zoey caring what her father's opinion is." CJ said as she stood.
**************
Leo stepped back through the door connecting his office to the Oval Office. "You can go in." He told Josh.
Josh stepped into the Oval Office with trepidation.
President Bartlett looked up, a glare on his face. Normally, he would have stood and moved over to the seating arrangement and motioned for Josh to sit opposite him. Now, he stayed behind his desk. He was more intimidating that way. "Was there any validity to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked Zoey?" He asked softly, alarmingly softly.
"Zoey and I are not currently dating, Sir, if that is what you are asking." Josh answered as he fought hard to keep from squirming under the President's harsh gaze.
"Currently? Are you planning on starting a relationship with my daughter?" The President inquired with deceptive calmness.
Josh took a breath. "I'd like to have a relationship with Zoey. I have feelings for her. Strong feelings."
Jed studied the younger man over his glasses. "You are over twenty years older than my daughter."
"I understand that, Sir. I also understand that I care about her. Our age difference shouldn't matter."
Their age difference shouldn't matter. Jed sighed. He had said the exact same thing to Leo almost forty years before. Of course, he was only thirteen years older than Abbey. Josh was twenty-two years older than Zoey.
"You're in love with Donna." Jed accused. He was not going to let his baby girl date someone who was in love with someone else. Her heart would just be broken.
It was Josh's turn to sigh. "I care about Donna and I always will. Donna has been in a coma for nearly a year. Even before that, she was not mine. She was my best friend's wife." He paused. "My feelings for Donna have been shifting, changing, for a long time."
Two years before, he would not even have considered giving this relationship his permission, if not his blessing. He would not have considered trusting Josh with his baby girl's heart. Her life, yes. Without hesitation. Her heart, no. But since he had gotten custody of Serena, Josh had changed. He had changed allot. Josh seemed to genuinely care about Zoey, Jed mused. Zoey had dated much worse than Josh. The name Jean-Paul came to mind.
Josh watched the President as he silently pondered the situation. It looked like he might actually be wavering. That was good because Josh had not been relishing the possible repercussions of this. He liked being alive and living in America.
Jed finally leveled Josh with a look. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."
Josh swallowed hard at the expression on the older man's face. He didn't doubt that Jed was serious. He wouldn't need Secret Service assistance, he'd kill Josh with his own hands. "Yes Sir."
"That's IF Zoey returns your feelings and wants a relationship." Jed added, praying that Zoey didn't.
"Yes, Sir." Josh said again, managing to control his grin but just barely. Would he be like that when Serena was older?
Jed went back to whatever he had been reading and Josh realized that he had been dismissed. "Thank you, Sir." He said before exiting through the main door. It struck him that he had just thanked the President for threatening to kill him but he didn't care. The President had actually given him his permission to date Zoey.
As Josh stepped out of the Oval, Charlie looked up from the newspaper that he was reading, a scowl on his face.
Josh caught a glimpse of the front of the paper. He groaned. Where had they gotten that picture? And why wasn't it run before now? The picture showed Josh at Sam's graveside service. He had Serena in his arms, her head buried against his neck. Zoey stood beside Josh, running her hand over the little girl's hair as she said something soothingly.
Charlie fixed Josh with the coldest look that Josh had seen the younger man use. "If you hurt her, you're dead." He stood up and walked away without another word.
There seemed to be a line forming to physically harm him, Josh thought with mild amusement. Who would join it next? The First Lady? Probably. Leo? Also, probably. CJ would also likely issue some sort of threat.
He didn't care. He didn't plan on hurting Zoey.
************
Flipping to another channel, Zoey sighed. It seemed as if every channel was covering the events of the custody hearing the day before.
Some of the channels even had so call 'experts' discussing the implications of her testimony. A groan broke past her lips as her words were repeated. Now, she could hear her own mistakes. Had she actually said that her relationship with Josh was personal and did not concern her father? Unfortunately, she had and now the guests on the news program she was watching were arguing over what she had meant. She smiled wryly, she didn't know what she meant, maybe the experts could figure it out for her.
How had she made such a stupid mistake? She should have known better than to say that. But all that she could think of was keeping her father out of it. She had felt that she had to try to protect him and the Administration from the rumors that were going to come after her testimony as best as she could.
She had hoped that it would blow over. It didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon. She should have been more careful the day before.
Glancing over at the clock, she realized that CJ would be briefing in less than an hour. She knew that CJ was going to get questions on her testimony. She had the evening before but had refused to answer them. She couldn't refuse the questions indefinitely.
Zoey knew that they were going to have to deny the accusations and rumors but wished that they didn't have to. Even more, she wished that they were true.
In her heart, she knew that she and Josh had something more than a close friendship. She was in love with him. And she knew that he returned her feelings, at least in part. But did he know that? But she hadn't actually lied on the stand because technically, she and Josh were not a couple.
"Zoey?"
Zoey's head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice. A smile transformed her face when she saw who was standing before her. "Josh. Sit down."
Returning her smile, Josh sat across from her.
"How is Serena?"
Josh's smile turned to a grin. "She was ecstatic last night when I told her." His grin widened. "I don't know what she was happier about. Getting to stay with me, or getting to keep Tuft."
Zoey laughed softly. She could imagine Serena's expression at the news. "How did she feel about not having any visitation with Alana?" She asked curiously.
"She said that she'd miss not seeing her grandmother but she wouldn't miss having to go to Maryland to stay with Alana. She said that she didn't like those visits."
Zoey looked down.
"You knew that she didn't like going to Maryland?" Josh asked in a surprised voice.
"After the last hearing, she told me that going to her grandma's scared her because she was afraid that you'd be in an accident going to get her like her parents were. " She spoke softly. Looking up she met Josh's eyes, her own apologetic. "I'm sorry, Josh. I couldn't tell you. She asked me not to. And all it would have done was upset you and make you feel guilty for having to make her go." Her eyes pleaded for him to understand.
Josh swallowed, reaching over to take Zoey's hand. "I know and it is okay. She doesn't have to go to Alana's anymore."
Zoey's eyes lit with surprise and joy as she felt Josh take her hand.
"I talked to your father and Leo this morning."
Zoey's smile was replaced with a frown. She could imagine his conversation with her overprotective father.
"They both asked me if there was any legitimacy to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked you. I didn't know what to say at first. Finally I answered with the truth."
Zoey sucked in her breath.
"I told them both that I have feelings for you."
"Feelings?" Zoey repeated. She could not believe what she had just heard.
"Feelings." Josh confirmed. "Romantic feelings."
A grin lit Zoey's face and sparkled within her eyes. "You said that to my father and are still here to tell me about it?"
Josh chuckled. "It wasn't as bad as you'd think. He gave me permission to date you."
Zoey's mouth dropped open.
Josh chuckled again. "Don't look so surprise Zo. I can be a very persuasive person when I want to be."
"Date?"
The self-assuredness faded from Josh's eyes. "If you want to. If you don't return my."
Zoey interrupted him. "Josh, I do."
"You do?" Josh repeated.
"Yes, I return your feelings." She laughed. "Or I could say, you return mine as I've had feelings for you longer than you've had them for me."
Surprise filled Josh's eyes at her admission. "If you're talking about the campaign, that was a crush, Zo."
"I'm not talking about the first campaign. But afterward, my crush started to grow and metamorphous. It was years before I even entertained the idea of doing something about it though."
"What changed your mind?" Josh wondered aloud.
"Donna." At Josh's shocked look, Zoey went on. "Right before her wedding, after the others had left the room, she told me that she could tell that I had feelings for you. She told me that she thought that I should go for it. I thought about it for awhile and decided that she was right."
"She was right." He said after a moment.
"Are we going to tell the press?" Zoey questioned, still smiling.
Josh thought about that. He hadn't discussed it with either the President or Leo. "I think we'll have to acknowledge that we are dating, once we start. They are going to ask directly and we can't lie about it. Plus they'll be watching us very closely."
Zoey cringed the tiniest bit. "The media is going to go into even more of a frenzy aren't they?"
"Probably." Josh admitted reluctantly.
A thought occurred to her. "Your job? Your career?"
"Your father gave me his permission. My job is safe." He assured her.
"Your career?" She asked worriedly.
"Since your dad isn't firing me, my career should be fine too."
Zoey nodded, relieved. She smiled again. "Serena is going to be happy."
Josh's smile engulfed his face as he pictured his little girl. "Yes, she is." He was going to have to tell her soon, as their relationship was going to be so high profile and she might hear something at school. School. He looked down at his watch. He had given in and gotten a working watch when he'd gotten custody of Serena so that when he told her he'd be somewhere at a certain time, he'd be on time.
Josh stood. "It's time for Amy to bring Serena by. Do you want to come see her?"
Zoey stood. "I'd love that."
***********
That night, Josh stepped into the house. Walking past the entrance, he heard giggles coming from upstairs. With a grin, he mounted the steps quietly so that Serena wouldn't hear him.
Serena was in her bedroom, rolling on the floor laughing as Amy tickled her.
Josh leaned against the doorframe waiting for Serena to notice him.
Tuft stood to the side, watching his owner with a cocked head and a curious expression. Not willing to be left out of the fun, the puppy bounded over to Serena and Amy and jumped onto Serena's chest to start licking her face.
Josh was unable to resist laughing at the puppy's antics. At the sound, all three of the room's other occupants looked up.
Serena grinned as she jumped up, gently set Tuft down, and propelled herself at Josh.
Josh caught the child easily, noticing the look of amusement on Amy's face. "What did you have for dinner Angel?"
Serena's grin widened. "We had Spaghetti O's, garlic bread, and peas. We saved a plate for you." She offered mischievously. She knew how much Josh couldn't stand Spaghetti O's which was why Amy always let her have them on days when Josh wasn't going to be home during dinner.
Josh held back his cringe. "Thank you Angel. That was nice of you. I think I'll have a sandwich though."
Serena shrugged. "Okay."
"Keep me company while I eat?"
Serena smiled. "Can Tuft come?"
"Sure." He thought it was adorable that the child was reluctant to let the dog out of her sight when she was home.
Serena crossed the room to where Tuft was sitting, watching the humans interact inquisitively, and picked him up.
Josh smiled at Amy. "How was she this afternoon?"
"Great. We made cookies."
Josh nodded. "I'll put her to bed tonight."
Amy nodded. "Goodnight." She looked down at Serena who had just joined them. "Night Serena."
Serena hugged her leg one handedly while still clutching Tuft gently. "Night Amy."
As Amy disappeared to her room, Josh, Serena, and Tuft went down to the kitchen.
Josh made himself a grilled cheese sandwich and grabbed a soda from the fridge.
"Can I have a soda?"
Josh hesitated before nodding. "Half a glass of sprite." He poured her the drink before sitting down at the table with his dinner.
"How would you feel about me starting to date?" Josh asked after swallowing a bit of his sandwich.
Serena's eyes widened. "Date? Who would you date? Would they like me?" Uncertainty filled her eyes.
"She already does." He assured her. "It is Zoey whom I want to date."
A smile lit her face. "I like Zoey." She announced before frowning again. "What would be different if you dated her?"
"She might be around more."
She grinned broadly again.
"Sometimes, Zoey and I would go places without you though." He warned.
Serena shrugged. "That would be okay."
Josh smiled at her easygoing attitude. She had accepted it well. Of course, he'd known that she would.
After a few silent moments, Serena asked a question. "Are you going to marry Zoey?"
Josh quickly swallowed his coke, fighting to keep from choking. "What Angel?"
"Are you going to marry Zoey?" Serena calmly repeated.
Stalling for time, Josh finished his drink and the last bite of his sandwich and walked the dishes to the sink. Turning back to Serena he asked, "Why would you ask that Angel?"
Serena shrugged her small shoulders. "Daddy married Mommy and Uncle Toby and Aunt CJ are going to get married. They all dated."
Josh sat back down. "Zoey and I are just starting dating Angel. We aren't anywhere close to that step yet."
"Will you be?"
"I don't know. It is possible." Very possible, he thought. "But neither of us know for sure. That is why we are dating. To get to know each other better."
Serena frowned in confusion. "You already know each other well."
"We know each other as friends." Josh tried to explain in terms that a four- year-old would understand. "We have to get to know each other romantically."
"Oh." She said as she pondered his words. After several moments, she stood up. "Can I have my story now?"
"You need to brush your teeth first."
"I already did."
Josh hid his smile. She knew why she needed to brush them again. "You had a drink so you have to brush them again."
"Okay." She agreed with a sigh.
After she had brushed her teeth, they settled on her bed together to begin The Little Princess. They had finished Black Beauty the day before.
***************
Sitting in his office, Josh listened to CJ's briefing. Since Zoey was the President's daughter they had decided that they couldn't strictly go with 'the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff' as she would if it was just Josh they were asking about.
CJ finished reading her statement and asked for questions.
"CJ, how long have they been dating?" A reporter named Michael asked.
"They discovered how they felt about each other during the custody hearing.. After a discussion the next day, they decided to start dating. Danny?"
"How does the President feel about his youngest daughter dating one of his advisors?"
"Their relationship was given the President's blessing."
Josh snorted. Blessing? Not quite. President Bartlett wasn't happy about the situation. He had given Josh permission though and that was all that Josh needed.
A few minutes later CJ stepped off of the stage and Josh flipped the TV off. It was done. The press knew that he and Zoey were definitely a couple. Now, it would start. Every move they made would be watched. Every word either of them said in public, scrutinized.
The intercom buzzed and with a sigh, Josh pushed the button. "Yes Janet?" His assistant's, monotone voice filled the room.
"You have a personal phone call, Mr. Lyman."
"Who is it?" He asked impatiently.
"Kate Moss."
Panic coursed through Josh rapidly. "Put her through."
Moments later, Kate Moss's soft voice came over the phone. "Josh?"
"Mrs. Moss." His voice was weary. She could not be calling for any good reason.
"How is Serena?" Kate inquired.
Josh again sighed, this time, with relief. Donna hadn't passed away; if she had have, Mrs. Moss wouldn't be making small talk. "She's doing well. You know that I have full custody now?"
"Yes. Congratulations." Her voice was sincere and warm.
"Thank you."
"Jonathan and I have been discussing our daughter."
Uh oh. The last time that she said that to him, she wanted to unplug Donna from life support. "Yes?" He said cautiously.
"DC is so far from Wisconsin, Josh. We've only been able to come to DC three times since the accident. We miss her Josh."
"I know and I'm sorry." Josh spoke softly. He knew that his words did little to help Kate feel better but that was the best he could think of.
"We're coming to DC next week Josh."
"Good. How long will you be able stay?"
"We'll only be in DC for a few days."
"You're more than welcome to stay with us." Josh offered sincerely. "Neither of you are allergic to dogs are you?" He asked with mild concern.
Kate laughed. "No Josh. We aren't allergic to puppies. We'd love to stay with you and Serena. That will give us more time with our granddaughter."
"She'll like that."
Kate's tone changed. She knew he wasn't going to like the rest of what she had to say. "We are coming for a specific reason."
Josh frowned. "Not to visit your daughter?"
Kate sighed. "We're moving Donna to a convalescent home just a few minutes drive away from our house."
Josh's hand tightened on the phone in his hand. He had to have misunderstood her. She could not have just said that. "Wisconsin?" He whispered it but she heard him.
"Yes." She answered softly. "We'll be able to visit her daily. Her brothers will also be able to visit her more regularly."
"But everyone here."
Kate broke in. "Everyone there is wonderful. Jonathon and I are so very grateful that our daughter has so many loyal, loving friends. But that is what they and you are. Friends. We are her parents." She spoke firmly.
Ice filled Josh's voice. "Serena is here in DC and she is Donna's daughter."
"Adoptive daughter." Kate put in softly.
Josh's spine stiffened. "Don't you ever say that in Serena's hearing." He spoke through clenched teeth.
"I won't." Kate promised. She wasn't trying to be mean or cruel. She was just trying to make him see reason. "Does Serena visit her mother everyday, Josh?"
"No." Josh admitted reluctantly. He didn't volunteer that Serena hadn't seen her mother in over a month though.
"Do you see Donna everyday?"
"No." He saw her several times a week but he couldn't make it to the convalescent home everyday.
"Is there anyone there who does?"
"No." Josh acknowledged with a sigh.
"Jonathon and I will be seeing her everyday once she is in Wisconsin." Her voice softened. "Don't you think she'd be happier that way? Don't you think she gets lonely on days when she doesn't have any visitors?"
"Yes." Josh whispered after several silent moments. "Yes, but Serena. how do I tell that little girl that her mother is moving to Wisconsin?"
"Why don't you wait until Jonathon and I get there in a few days and we'll help you talk to her?" Kate suggested softly. "You know that you and Serena are welcome to come to Wisconsin to see her whenever you can." She paused. "I know you probably wouldn't want to do this with Serena so young but once Serena gets older, she can spend her summers or part of her summers here if she'd like."
"Thank you." Josh responded although he was pretty certain that he would not be allowing Serena to spend summers somewhere where he was not. Ever.
They finalized their plans and Josh dropped the phone back into its cradle. It looked like he was going to have to say goodbye one more time. It wasn't permanent but it was still goodbye.
*************
A few days later Josh stepped out of Leo's office after Senior Staff and headed through the West Wing to his own office.
The last few days had been difficult. After CJ had affirmed the rumors of Josh and Zoey's relationship, the press's attention had intensified.
Reporters now practically lived in Josh's front yard. The security system keep them outside the gate but anytime someone drove up to the gate the reporters would press closer yelling questions.
The attention had gotten so bad that Zoey had moved back to the Residence, at least temporarily, in order to escape the reporters that were trying to dog her every move.
One reporter had even tried to sneak into Serena's school by posing as a parent in order to get a comment on the relationship from the child.
Several programs and magazines had called asking for interviews. CJ was politely telling all of them that no interviews were being granted.
Josh stepped into his office and smiled. Serena sat behind his desk, a pen clenched tightly in her hand and the tip of her tongue sticking out between her lips. The pen ran over the paper in a perfect imitation of writing.
As Josh walked closer to the desk Serena looked up. "Hi." She said cheerfully.
"What are you writing?" Josh asked curiously.
"I heard Will tell Lauren earlier that he didn't like a speech that she had just written. He said that I could have done it better." She frowned. "That was mean." A small smile replaced the frown. "I decided to try though and I think he was wrong."
"Who's Lauren?" Josh asked, a confused expression on his face.
Serena sighed in exasperation. "She's one of the interns."
Josh just shrugged. He couldn't keep them all straight.
Crumpling the paper into a tiny ball as she had seen Toby do, Serena tossed it into the trashcan next to Josh's desk and stood. "Is it time to go?"
Josh glanced at his watch. "Yep."
Serena spent the car ride chattering.
Josh finally pulled into a parking spot after circling several times. He grumbled under his breath about them needing more spaces as he climbed out of the car and walked around to let Serena out.
Serena skipped next to Josh still talking about school and her friends there.
Inside the airport, they found seats near the gate the Moss's would be coming through. Ever friendly, Serena struck up a conversation with the man sitting across from them, which made Josh frown. The child had no fear of strangers.
The flight arrived and people started streaming through the gates.
Kate and Jonathan Moss stepped through and glanced around the assembled crowd, smiling when they noticed Josh and Serena.
Kate was in her early fifties and had long blond hair like her daughter's. Like her daughter's, strands of white were interspersed throughout. Few wrinkles lined her beautiful face. She smiled down at Serena and her brilliant blue-green eyes lit up.
Jonathan Moss was perhaps five years older than his wife was, Josh thought. Donna had gotten her height from him. He had light brown hair, tinged around his temples with gray. His green eyes twinkled as he hugged his granddaughter and shook Josh's hand.
After they retrieved the Moss's luggage, Serena grabbed onto her grandparent's hands and skipped between them as they walked to the parking lot.
Walking behind the trio, Josh allowed his mind to wander, tuning out the cheerful conversation and teasing going on in front of him.
Serena had been so excited when he'd told her that Kate and Jonathan were coming for a visit. She had spent most of the week planning things to do with them while they were in town. How was she going to react when she found out that they were going to take her mother out of the state?
Serena was a very above average child, but she was still a child. With child like logic, would she think that they were doing this to hurt her? Would she feel betrayed? And if she did feel that way, how could he help her?
Josh suppressed his sigh, wishing, not for the first time, that Kate hadn't called him.
************
That evening, after dinner, Kate and Jonathan sat on the sofa watching their granddaughter in amusement. Josh sat in an armchair near them but he was used to the scene before them.
Serena was curled up in a child-sized rocking chair near the fireplace with Tuft on her lap. As she rocked back and forth, she sang a lullaby to the puppy.
Kate took a sip of her coffee as she listened to the song. Serena was such a sweet little girl. She was so tender and caring. Kate hated that she was going to have to hurt the tenderhearted child. Still, she knew that she had no choice. She had to do what was right for her own daughter. Serena had Josh to look out for her. Kate realized that he cared about Donna and wanted what was best for her but Serena was his primary concern. She had to be.
Jonathan grinned as Serena ever so gently, stood up, trying not to jostle the now sleeping puppy. Tiptoeing across the room, Serena gently set the puppy down in his bed.
Her task complete, Serena walked across the room to sit near the others. Carefully, she took her cooling mug of hot chocolate off of the coffee table.
"Serena?" Kate ventured softly.
Taking a sip from the mug, she smiled at Kate. "Yes, Grandma Kate?"
Kate glanced at Josh who just shrugged. If she wanted to do this now, she could. There would never be a good time for this.
"You know that Grandpa Jonathon and I live a long way away?"
Serena nodded with a smile. "You live in Wisconsin. The state that looks like a mitten." She said proudly.
Kate returned her smile. "Yes we do. Since we live so far away, we have trouble coming here as often as we'd like to."
Serena frowned but said nothing as she returned her hot chocolate to the table.
"When we are in Wisconsin, we miss your mommy a lot."
"But she has lived here for a long time." Serena pointed out, still frowning. "Did you miss her the whole time?"
Kate was touched by Serena's concerned tone. "Yes, we did." She answered softly. "But it was a little bit better because we could talk to her on the phone and e-mail her."
Serena's bright blue eyes were filled with sadness and compassion. "Now you can't do those things."
"No, we can't." Jonathan agreed. "Grandma and I have been talking about what we can do."
Serena's face suddenly lit up, her eyes shining as a thought occurred to her. "You can move here, to DC and see Mommy everyday."
Josh swallowed at Serena's gleeful tone. She was so happy that she had come up with what she thought of as the perfect solution. Hearing that she was wrong was going to shatter her.
"Sweetie, that is a very good idea but it wouldn't work." Kate said gently, moving a little closer to the child.
"Why not?" She asked quietly as her exuberance faded.
"I work in Wisconsin, Honey." Jonathan reminded her gently. "Our sons live in Wisconsin as do all of our friends. We've lived in the same house for over twenty years."
"Oh." Serena spoke so softly that they could barely hear her.
"We've thought of another solution." Kate hurried on before she lost her nerve.
Serena smiled again.
"We're going to take Mommy to live in Wisconsin with us." Kate said quickly.
Serena's face fell. "Wisconsin?" She whispered.
The look on Serena's face almost broke her heart. "Yes." She answered softly.
Serena looked at Josh for confirmation, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears.
Josh swallowed the lump in his throat. He could brow beat recalcitrant members of Congress in a matter of minutes with little effort. But dealing with a devastated Serena, that he couldn't handle. He hated it when his little girl cried. With great effort, Josh nodded.
She turned back to Kate. "How long?"
"I don't know." Kate answered truthfully. "Until she gets better."
A tear slipped down her cheek, followed by another until they were streaming down her face.
Kate met Josh's eyes helplessly.
Ignoring the woman, Josh pulled the child onto his lap and kissed the top of her head soothingly.
Turning, Serena buried her face in Josh's chest, her sobs shaking her body. It wasn't fair, she thought desperately. They couldn't take her mommy away from her. It just wasn't fair.
Kate felt her own tears fall as she watched the scene before her. Serena was now sobbing as Josh held her close, his expression devastated as he tried to comfort her as best he could. She hadn't been in the room when he'd told her about Sam's death but she imagined that it was something like this.
Jonathan squeezed his wife's hand, hating that they had to do this but knowing that they did.
After several minutes, Serena's sobs subsided and she lifted her tear stained face from its hiding place. She met Kate's eyes plaintively. "I'll miss her." She whispered brokenly.
"And she'll miss you." Kate responded, her own voice weak as she fought back her tears.
"It isn't fair."
"No, it isn't." Jonathan agreed. None of this was fair. They shouldn't have to make this decision. The car accident shouldn't have happened. A four- year-old shouldn't have to deal with yet another loss. But it had all happened, fair or not. All they could do was what they felt was best in a horrible situation.
"In Wisconsin, Mommy will live very close to Grandpa and I." Kate went on. "We'll be able to visit her everyday. She won't be as lonely."
Serena's eyes gleamed defiantly. "How do you know she is lonely?" She demanded. "Mommy can't tell you."
"No, she can't. But I'm her Mommy, so I know." Seeing that that hadn't worked, she decided to try another tactic. "Sweetie, if you were asleep for a long time like Mommy is, would you want to live near Uncle Josh?"
Serena's lower lip protruded. After a few minutes, she finally answered. "Yes."
"Then don't you think Mommy deserves that chance?"
Serena swallowed. "But I'll miss her so much."
"You can come visit her in Wisconsin whenever you want to." Kate offered with a small smile.
Serena leaned back against Josh's chest. "Okay." She finally said very quietly before turning to meet Josh's eyes. "I want to go to bed now, Uncle Josh."
Without a word to their guests, Josh stood and exited the room, Serena still in his arms.
After they had left, Kate met her husband's eyes. "That was worse than I expected. I knew she was going to be hurt but." She let her words trail off as she stared into her coffee cup.
"I didn't expect the anger either." Jonathan said with a sigh. "But we should have." He rubbed his hand over his face. "We're taking her mother from her. I guess that that makes us bad guys in her mind."
"She is just so young. Too young to really understand this but for awhile, I actually thought that I was getting somewhere with her."
"So did I." Jonathan said before taking a long sip of his coffee. "Maybe we did." He mused. "We don't really know her that well. Maybe we got farther than we thought."
"Maybe." Kate agreed doubtfully.
Josh returned a few minutes later to retrieve Tuft. He met their eyes briefly but said nothing.
*******
Josh took a swallow of his coffee before setting the cup back on his desk with a thump. Coffee sloshed over the sides but he ignored it.
He should have stopped them from telling her. He should have made them wait until she was better prepared. He should have, but how? How would he have made Serena any more prepared than she had been?
"Josh?" Zoey asked tentatively as she stepped into his office. She took in his appearance worriedly. His hair was mussed, his eyes rimmed with fatigue and concern, his chin covered in stubble, and his tie askew. At least he was wearing a different suit than he had been the day before, she mused.
Josh looked up, startled at her sudden appearance. "Janice didn't let me know that you were here."
Zoey shrugged. "I told her not to. I didn't think I needed her to announce." Her eyes grew uncertain as she spoke.
Josh belatedly realized how he had sounded and that he had inadvertently hurt her with his careless words. He stood and rounded the desk. "Zo, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to see you." He pulled her into his arms for a kiss.
Zoey felt her hurt and uncertainty melt away at his touch. Finally though, she pulled away from the kiss but stayed in his arms. "What's wrong?" She asked concernedly.
Josh sighed as he reluctantly pulled away from her and motioned for her to sit across from his desk. He went back to his chair so that he was facing her. Not for the first time, he wished that he had a couch in his office. "Serena and I got Mrs. and Mr. Moss from the airport yesterday."
Zoey frowned in confusion. "Did they get settled in okay?"
"Yeah."
Sudden comprehension dawned in her yes. "They told her last night didn't they?"
Josh nodded. "It devastated her and there was nothing that I could do. She looked at me with her bright eyes filled with tears after Kate told her. All she wanted was for me to discount what Kate had told her and I couldn't do it."
Zoey saw the pain flare up in his eyes. "She doesn't blame you. She understands that there isn't anything that you can do."
"No, she doesn't." He agreed. "She blames them. Last night, I took her upstairs and it was hours before she fell asleep. During that time, she kept telling me how unfair it is. Yet, she is so compassionate that she can see why they are doing it." He sighed. "She is confused, hurt, and angry."
"How is she now?"
Josh met Zoey's deep brown eyes, which were fill with pain and concern for Serena, and he gave he a small smile. She really did love Serena, he knew. "She spent most of the night sobbing, Zoey. She cried until she fell asleep. She was so upset that I let her stay with me all night."
Zoey's eyes softened at his words. He had been so uncertain when he got custody of Serena. He had been so afraid that he wasn't going to do a good job of raising her. But he was doing a wonderful job. He was an amazing father to Serena and would be an amazing father to any other children that he might have.
"She was so exhausted that I didn't send her to pre-school this morning." Josh continued.
Zoey blinked. "But aren't the Moss's at your house?"
"They are spending most of the morning with Donna and then they have some arrangements to make for her transfer to Wisconsin. Amy's going to bring Serena here this afternoon, as always."
Zoey just nodded. She hesitated before speaking again. "Do you think that she is going to be okay? She's been through so much."
"Yes, she has. She's been through more than someone four times her age should have been." He grinned. "But she is amazing. The things that she has been through would have ruined most children. Made them into spoiled brats or juvenile delinquents. Serena has taken it all so well."
"She has." Zoey agreed. She was still worried about the child but she didn't press Josh. She knew that he was already worried enough.
"When are they leaving?" Zoey asked after several silent minutes.
Josh ran his hand through his hair. "I spoke to Jonathan before I left this morning. Last night, they decided that it was best for them to leave as soon as possible. They think probably the day after tomorrow."
"The day after tomorrow?" Zoey said in surprise. "No one knows that she is leaving yet, do they?"
Josh shook his head. After he had spoken to Kate on the phone, he had had to talk to someone so he had confided in Zoey. The others all knew that Kate and Jonathan were in town but he hadn't said a word about them taking Donna back to Wisconsin with them. Now, he was going to have to talk to everyone a lot sooner than he had planned to.
Janice stepped into the room she cast them both a disapproving look before speaking. "You have Senior Staff in five minutes, Mr. Lyman." With another glance at Zoey, she left.
Zoey saw Josh's expression and spoke softly. "Don't."
Josh swung his gaze back to Zoey and the anger in his eyes disappeared. "Zo, she has no right to act like that. No one does. There isn't anything wrong with our relationship."
She reached across the desk and covered Josh's hand with hers. "No, they don't. But Josh, we knew what reactions we were going to get. We knew that a lot of people were going to disapprove of our relationship."
Josh's eyes were hard as he stared at his door. "They can think what they like. She can think what she likes but she can't show her disdain. She can't look at you like that. I won't have an assistant that treats my girlfriend like that."
Zoey sighed. "I don't like it either but Josh, you already go through enough assistants. Janice is the only one that has lasted for any extended period of time."
"Not anymore. I'm going to have them send a temp up after Senior Staff." He sighed at her expression. "Zo, its people who act like that that leak things to the press. We don't want things about our private relationship getting out." He stressed the word private.
Zoey sighed again. This time her sigh was because he was right. "No we don't." She agreed. After a moment she stood. She gave Josh a smile. "I'll let you get to Senior Staff, before you're late."
Josh walked around his desk again. He gave Zoey another kiss before they both left his office, going in opposite directions.
***********
"I don't want to go." Serena said, giving Josh a pleading look.
Josh sighed. "Serena, you always go home with Amy after our visit in the afternoons."
Serena bit her bottom lip. "But they're there."
Josh walked around the desk to kneel in front of the child so that they were at eye level. "Serena, they are your grandparents. They love you."
She immediately shook her head in adamant refusal. "They're taking my Mommy away."
"They aren't doing it to hurt you."
"But it hurts anyway." She said simply. "You and Amy say that you aren't suppose to hurt others and if you do so accidentally, you have to apologize and make it right."
Josh met the nanny's eyes helplessly but the girl just shrugged. "Angel, this is a little different. Grandma Kate and Grandpa Jonathan love Mommy as much as you do but in a different way. They've loved her since before she was born. That's a long time. Now, she is sick and there isn't anything that they can do. That hurts them. They want her near them, so they can help her."
Serena pondered that for a few minutes before smiling. "They can take her home with them."
Josh blinked. Where had that sudden change of heart come from?
"It will be a nice vacation for her." Serena continued. "Then, after a few weeks, they can bring her home."
Josh stood up and lifted Serena out of the visitor's chair. Sitting down in the chair himself, he settled the child on his lap.
Serena turned her head so that she could see his face.
"Mommy can't come home that soon. It isn't possible."
"Why not?" She demanded.
"It is going to be very difficult for them to move Mommy because of her medical condition so she'll have to stay in Wisconsin for a long time."
Serena was silent for several more minutes. "Than, can we move to Wisconsin?"
Josh swallowed. How could he answer that without sounding selfish to Serena? He couldn't tell her that they couldn't move because of his job. She'd want him to get another job.
"Sweetie, I can't move to Wisconsin. My Mommy and Daddy are in DC." Amy jumped in. "If you move to Wisconsin, I can't take care of you anymore."
Serena's face fell as she looked back at Josh. "We can't move without Amy."
Josh sent Amy a grateful smile which she returned.
"When are they taking Mommy?"
"The day after tomorrow." Josh answered wearily.
Serena's eyes widened. "That soon?" She whispered.
Josh just nodded.
"You can't stop them?"
"No Angel. There isn't anything that I can do."
"Oh." Serena reached across Josh's desk to retrieve a picture. Holding the frame between her hands, she gazed at it intently.
This picture had been taken at the barbecue that they had had right before Alana took Donna and Sam to court for the last time. Not long after that, they had all been in the terrible car accident on their way back from Alana's on court ordered visitation.
In the picture, Donna and Serena were sitting together on the ledge of an old, stone barbecue in the back yard. (The food was being made on a newer barbecue.) Their legs dangled off of the side and their hands were behind them, propping them up. Donna's long blond hair billowed out around her in the gentle breeze surrounding them. Both she and Serena were laughing at something going on around them. They were both completely relaxed and happy in the photo.
After several minutes, Serena carefully replaced the picture. "Can we go visit her?"
"Of course." Josh assured her immediately.
"I'm going to miss her allot." She confessed.
"I know." Josh whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you."
Serena gave him a wobbly smile. "I still don't really want to see them right now though."
"That's okay." Josh assured her. "How about this, Amy can take you to the park for awhile and then I'll meet you back at the house for dinner tonight?"
Serena grinned as she jumped off of his lap. "Cool." She hugged him as he stood up. "Thank you, Uncle Josh."
"Your welcome Angel. I love you."
"Love you too." She skipped out the door with Amy and Josh went back behind his desk with a sigh.
************
With a deep, fortifying, breath, Josh made his way down the hallway with quick strides. His footsteps sounded in the quiet hall.
He stopped beside the nurse's station as he always did. The young woman behind the desk smiled at him. He recognized her but had no idea what her name was. "How is she?"
Her smile turned apologetic. "I'm sorry. There's no change."
Josh exhaled quickly. He had known that she was going to say that but had hoped that just this once, that wouldn't be the answer. He'd hoped that there would have been just enough change to give them hope. Just enough so that maybe, just maybe, the Moss' might change their minds. Enough change that Serena wouldn't have to loose her mother even more than she already had.
Josh nodded at the nurse before stepping over to the door to Donna's room. Stepping inside the room, he took another deep breath before approaching the bed. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.
Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You've been popular today haven't you Donnatella? CJ told me that she and Toby came by on their way to work early this morning. Margaret, Carol, Bonnie, and Ginger all came on their lunch breaks. Abbey was here this morning. Zoey said that she stayed and talked to you for quite awhile. I know that you are wondering why we all came on the same day since we don't usually."
Josh swallowed before continuing. "Your parents have been by several times so I know that you know they are here in DC. They are leaving tomorrow. They are taking you with them Donna. You're moving to a convalescent home just a few minutes from their house so that they can see you everyday."
"Serena wasn't happy when she first found out but she is okay now. I've promised her that we are going to come visit you very frequently."
"I'm sorry that she didn't come to see you. She just wasn't up to it. I'll try to get her to call you in Wisconsin in a few days. Your mother can hold her cell phone up to your ear so you can hear her."
"I know I've told you about her new school. She absolutely loves it there. She adores her new teacher. She is so gentle and calm with the children." He grinned. "And most of the children have Democrats for parents. I know several of our senators and congressman whose children go there, in fact."
"She still pampers that puppy as if it were a newborn. She loves Tuft so much. I've used several rolls of film already taking pictures of Serena and Tuft. You can see them when you are able. She rocks him to sleep, tries to feed him with a spoon, and dresses him. The puppy doesn't seem to mind any of it.
"At first, I wondered if I'd made the right decision allowing her to get a Hairless Chinese Crested instead of a sturdier dog like a Golden Retriever or a Lab but now I have no doubts. A larger dog would get too large for Serena to play with the way that she is accustomed to. Tuft will always be small enough for her to rock him to sleep and carry him around."
"She barely mentions Alana. She is very relieved that she doesn't have to visit her anymore though. Alana really frightened Serena."
Josh ran his hand through his hair. He knew what he had to tell her but he didn't want to. But he had run out of news and small talk. "I don't know what Zoey talked to you about today, but she told me that she didn't tell you this. She and I have been dating for about two weeks now. It's soon but I think that I'm falling in love with her."
"Serena adores Zoey and is happy about the relationship. She has always adored Zoey as you know and loves that Zoey is spending even more time with us now."
"The President and First Lady aren't as happy about it. I spoke to the President before hand and he grudgingly gave me his blessing but he and Abbey are still very unsure about the relationship. I guess I can understand their concern. I'm sure I'd feel the same way if it was Serena but still. I don't plan to hurt her."
"Then there is CJ. She is pissed because she had to spin this in the press. The press as you can imagine, loves this. They keep listing Zoey and my differences. They point out the age difference. They make sure everyone knows about my job. They discuss the differences in our religions and the fact that I'm raising Serena."
"I think our faces have appeared on the cover of just about every magazine and tabloid in the country. A few even have pictures of the two of us with Serena."
"Thank God Alana is completely out of our lives or she's probably try to get custody of Serena because of this. But after the disclosure of her alcohol problems, she knows that she wouldn't have a chance, especially not this soon."
Josh again brushed his hand over her short hair. "I still love you so much Donnatella. I'm going to miss you once your gone. I'm going to miss these visits and telling you everything that is happening. You can't give me advice, but I still feel that confiding all of this in you helps me somehow. Telling you everything makes me feel so much better."
He stood up and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I love you and I always will. But the time has come for me to move on with my life. But, Donna, I will always love you."
He stepped out into the hallway just as Leo walked around the corner.
"I just came by to say goodbye to her." Leo explained.
"Me, too." Josh said softly. "Me, too."
*************
Author: Catgurl83
Title: Changes Abound
Feedback: Is much loved and appreciated.
Pairing: Josh \ Zoey, CJ \ Toby, mentions of Sam \ Donna
Rating: PG just to be safe.
Author's note: This is the third installment in my Changes series. The first story is Unexpected Changes, which is followed by Continued Changes. Both can be found by clicking on my profile at fanfiction.net.
As always, thanks to Classic She for all of her help with this story!
************
Dropping his backpack in his office, Josh hurried to Leo's office. The day before, at court, Leo had told Josh that they needed to talk. As Serena was at home waiting to find out what had happened and was probably very frightened, Leo had told Josh that they could talk first thing the next morning.
Outside Leo's office, Margaret told Josh to go on in. Taking a breath, Josh braced himself for the conversation to come.
As the door opened, Leo looked up. "Sit down."
Josh sat in the visitor's chair across from Leo's desk.
Leo picked up a newspaper and tossed it at Josh who caught it easily.
Josh glanced down at the newspaper's cover and groaned. The cover photo was of all of them leaving the courthouse the day before but they had zoomed in so that only Josh, Zoey, and Leo's arm were shown. The picture made it look like Josh and Zoey had been walking together alone, instead of what actually happened, all of them were walking in a group as they pushed past the clamoring reporters.
"Every major paper in the country has a similar front page."
"It was all over the TV last night as well." Josh said quietly but angrily.
"You had no indication that that was going happen?" Leo demanded.
"We didn't even think that he'd cross-examine Zoey. He didn't last time." Josh explained. He ran his hand through his hair. "How's Zoey?"
"You haven't spoken to her?"
Josh barely held back his flinch at Leo's tone. "Not since we left court yesterday."
"She spent the night in the Residence."
"Good."
"Is there any truth to the questions?"
"We're friends Leo." Josh said with a deep sigh.
"That's it?" Leo pressed. He had spent the evening before placating the President and musing on Josh and Zoey's relationship. Thinking back, he was able to come up with many scenarios where they had seemed very close. Too close? Possibly.
Josh stood and crossed the room. "I still have feelings for Donna."
Josh did still have feelings for Donna, Leo knew. But still. he sounded like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was Leo.
"I care about Zoey." Josh went on. "She's one of my best friends." He turned back to Leo. "Hell Leo, she is my best friend now that Sam and Donna are gone."
"She's barely more than a child, Josh."
"She doesn't act like a child." Josh disagreed. "She's more mature than most people twice her age."
"That doesn't erase the age difference." Leo stood as he gave a sigh of his own. "Hell Josh, you're twenty-two years older than Zoey."
Josh leaned against the wall. "I know that." He'd told himself that same thing dozens of times. It didn't sound any more convincing when Leo said it.
When did this discussion change? Leo wondered. When did it go from, Josh and Zoey definitely not being a thing, a couple, to the reasons why it was a bad idea?
"Spending time with Zoey makes me happy." Josh went on, speaking softly now. "She makes Serena happy. I'm happier, that's not the right word, relaxed, content, comfortable, I don't know. When I'm with her, I feel better than I ever have felt with anyone, that is besides Donna or Serena."
"Damn it Josh. We aren't having this conversation. It can't happen."
"What if it already is?" Josh countered.
Leo moved closer to the younger man. "I'm asking you one more time. Are you and Zoey romantically involved?" His eyes bore into Josh's.
Josh hesitated. He didn't know how to answer that. He'd spend the entire night trying to answer that question to himself. All he could come up with was what he'd just told Leo. "I don't know."
Leo slowly sat back down. He had halfway expected Josh's answer. Just by saying that he didn't know, Josh had answered Leo's question. "What are you going to do?"
Josh stared at his boss.
"Are you going to pursue this.relationship?"
Josh again ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know. I want to. But it would cause so many problems if we did get together." He spoke quietly.
Leo didn't say what he was thinking. He didn't say that it looked to him like they were together. They just hadn't admitted it to themselves yet. "It would cause a media frenzy." He gestured to the paper that Josh had set back on his desk. "But then, that has already happened."
Josh was silent for a few minutes before finally asking, "What did you tell the President?" He knew that the President was probably waiting to pounce on Leo with questions the second he walked into the West Wing.
"I told him that as far as I knew, Alana's council was just reaching. He had nothing substantial against you so he decided to fabricate something. I told the President that I'd talk to you today to be sure."
"Now what?"
"He wants to talk to you after our discussion is done." Leo informed him. "I expect that he'll ask you about your relationship with Zoey. I'd suggest that you don't answer him as you did me. You need to decide what you want before you talk to him. Is a relationship with Zoey worth it"
Josh sat back in the visitor's chair.
Leo picked up a file and started reading.
"I know what I want." Josh said after several minutes.
************
CJ sat on the couch in her fiancée's office. "We should have figured it out before yesterday. All of the signs were there."
Toby just continued writing as she spoke.
"They spend so much time together. Every time I see Serena, she talks about something Zoey said or Zoey did. It's always Zoey this, or Zoey that. And at Sam's funeral, not only did Zoey stand with Josh during the graveside service but she rode back to the house in the limo with Josh and Serena."
Toby finally looked up. "They might be friends like Zoey said on the stand yesterday."
CJ shook her head. "Whether they know it or not, those two are more than friends."
"You once said that exact same thing about Josh and Donna." Toby reminded her. "Less than six months later, Donna married Sam."
CJ shrugged. "I was right about Josh. He did have feelings for her."
"Whether or not they have feelings for each other, they cannot act on them."
"It would be a sex scandal." CJ agreed. "And I doubt that the President would take it well."
Toby went back to the speech he was writing.
"Still, I can't see Zoey caring what her father's opinion is." CJ said as she stood.
**************
Leo stepped back through the door connecting his office to the Oval Office. "You can go in." He told Josh.
Josh stepped into the Oval Office with trepidation.
President Bartlett looked up, a glare on his face. Normally, he would have stood and moved over to the seating arrangement and motioned for Josh to sit opposite him. Now, he stayed behind his desk. He was more intimidating that way. "Was there any validity to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked Zoey?" He asked softly, alarmingly softly.
"Zoey and I are not currently dating, Sir, if that is what you are asking." Josh answered as he fought hard to keep from squirming under the President's harsh gaze.
"Currently? Are you planning on starting a relationship with my daughter?" The President inquired with deceptive calmness.
Josh took a breath. "I'd like to have a relationship with Zoey. I have feelings for her. Strong feelings."
Jed studied the younger man over his glasses. "You are over twenty years older than my daughter."
"I understand that, Sir. I also understand that I care about her. Our age difference shouldn't matter."
Their age difference shouldn't matter. Jed sighed. He had said the exact same thing to Leo almost forty years before. Of course, he was only thirteen years older than Abbey. Josh was twenty-two years older than Zoey.
"You're in love with Donna." Jed accused. He was not going to let his baby girl date someone who was in love with someone else. Her heart would just be broken.
It was Josh's turn to sigh. "I care about Donna and I always will. Donna has been in a coma for nearly a year. Even before that, she was not mine. She was my best friend's wife." He paused. "My feelings for Donna have been shifting, changing, for a long time."
Two years before, he would not even have considered giving this relationship his permission, if not his blessing. He would not have considered trusting Josh with his baby girl's heart. Her life, yes. Without hesitation. Her heart, no. But since he had gotten custody of Serena, Josh had changed. He had changed allot. Josh seemed to genuinely care about Zoey, Jed mused. Zoey had dated much worse than Josh. The name Jean-Paul came to mind.
Josh watched the President as he silently pondered the situation. It looked like he might actually be wavering. That was good because Josh had not been relishing the possible repercussions of this. He liked being alive and living in America.
Jed finally leveled Josh with a look. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."
Josh swallowed hard at the expression on the older man's face. He didn't doubt that Jed was serious. He wouldn't need Secret Service assistance, he'd kill Josh with his own hands. "Yes Sir."
"That's IF Zoey returns your feelings and wants a relationship." Jed added, praying that Zoey didn't.
"Yes, Sir." Josh said again, managing to control his grin but just barely. Would he be like that when Serena was older?
Jed went back to whatever he had been reading and Josh realized that he had been dismissed. "Thank you, Sir." He said before exiting through the main door. It struck him that he had just thanked the President for threatening to kill him but he didn't care. The President had actually given him his permission to date Zoey.
As Josh stepped out of the Oval, Charlie looked up from the newspaper that he was reading, a scowl on his face.
Josh caught a glimpse of the front of the paper. He groaned. Where had they gotten that picture? And why wasn't it run before now? The picture showed Josh at Sam's graveside service. He had Serena in his arms, her head buried against his neck. Zoey stood beside Josh, running her hand over the little girl's hair as she said something soothingly.
Charlie fixed Josh with the coldest look that Josh had seen the younger man use. "If you hurt her, you're dead." He stood up and walked away without another word.
There seemed to be a line forming to physically harm him, Josh thought with mild amusement. Who would join it next? The First Lady? Probably. Leo? Also, probably. CJ would also likely issue some sort of threat.
He didn't care. He didn't plan on hurting Zoey.
************
Flipping to another channel, Zoey sighed. It seemed as if every channel was covering the events of the custody hearing the day before.
Some of the channels even had so call 'experts' discussing the implications of her testimony. A groan broke past her lips as her words were repeated. Now, she could hear her own mistakes. Had she actually said that her relationship with Josh was personal and did not concern her father? Unfortunately, she had and now the guests on the news program she was watching were arguing over what she had meant. She smiled wryly, she didn't know what she meant, maybe the experts could figure it out for her.
How had she made such a stupid mistake? She should have known better than to say that. But all that she could think of was keeping her father out of it. She had felt that she had to try to protect him and the Administration from the rumors that were going to come after her testimony as best as she could.
She had hoped that it would blow over. It didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon. She should have been more careful the day before.
Glancing over at the clock, she realized that CJ would be briefing in less than an hour. She knew that CJ was going to get questions on her testimony. She had the evening before but had refused to answer them. She couldn't refuse the questions indefinitely.
Zoey knew that they were going to have to deny the accusations and rumors but wished that they didn't have to. Even more, she wished that they were true.
In her heart, she knew that she and Josh had something more than a close friendship. She was in love with him. And she knew that he returned her feelings, at least in part. But did he know that? But she hadn't actually lied on the stand because technically, she and Josh were not a couple.
"Zoey?"
Zoey's head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice. A smile transformed her face when she saw who was standing before her. "Josh. Sit down."
Returning her smile, Josh sat across from her.
"How is Serena?"
Josh's smile turned to a grin. "She was ecstatic last night when I told her." His grin widened. "I don't know what she was happier about. Getting to stay with me, or getting to keep Tuft."
Zoey laughed softly. She could imagine Serena's expression at the news. "How did she feel about not having any visitation with Alana?" She asked curiously.
"She said that she'd miss not seeing her grandmother but she wouldn't miss having to go to Maryland to stay with Alana. She said that she didn't like those visits."
Zoey looked down.
"You knew that she didn't like going to Maryland?" Josh asked in a surprised voice.
"After the last hearing, she told me that going to her grandma's scared her because she was afraid that you'd be in an accident going to get her like her parents were. " She spoke softly. Looking up she met Josh's eyes, her own apologetic. "I'm sorry, Josh. I couldn't tell you. She asked me not to. And all it would have done was upset you and make you feel guilty for having to make her go." Her eyes pleaded for him to understand.
Josh swallowed, reaching over to take Zoey's hand. "I know and it is okay. She doesn't have to go to Alana's anymore."
Zoey's eyes lit with surprise and joy as she felt Josh take her hand.
"I talked to your father and Leo this morning."
Zoey's smile was replaced with a frown. She could imagine his conversation with her overprotective father.
"They both asked me if there was any legitimacy to the questions that Alana's lawyer asked you. I didn't know what to say at first. Finally I answered with the truth."
Zoey sucked in her breath.
"I told them both that I have feelings for you."
"Feelings?" Zoey repeated. She could not believe what she had just heard.
"Feelings." Josh confirmed. "Romantic feelings."
A grin lit Zoey's face and sparkled within her eyes. "You said that to my father and are still here to tell me about it?"
Josh chuckled. "It wasn't as bad as you'd think. He gave me permission to date you."
Zoey's mouth dropped open.
Josh chuckled again. "Don't look so surprise Zo. I can be a very persuasive person when I want to be."
"Date?"
The self-assuredness faded from Josh's eyes. "If you want to. If you don't return my."
Zoey interrupted him. "Josh, I do."
"You do?" Josh repeated.
"Yes, I return your feelings." She laughed. "Or I could say, you return mine as I've had feelings for you longer than you've had them for me."
Surprise filled Josh's eyes at her admission. "If you're talking about the campaign, that was a crush, Zo."
"I'm not talking about the first campaign. But afterward, my crush started to grow and metamorphous. It was years before I even entertained the idea of doing something about it though."
"What changed your mind?" Josh wondered aloud.
"Donna." At Josh's shocked look, Zoey went on. "Right before her wedding, after the others had left the room, she told me that she could tell that I had feelings for you. She told me that she thought that I should go for it. I thought about it for awhile and decided that she was right."
"She was right." He said after a moment.
"Are we going to tell the press?" Zoey questioned, still smiling.
Josh thought about that. He hadn't discussed it with either the President or Leo. "I think we'll have to acknowledge that we are dating, once we start. They are going to ask directly and we can't lie about it. Plus they'll be watching us very closely."
Zoey cringed the tiniest bit. "The media is going to go into even more of a frenzy aren't they?"
"Probably." Josh admitted reluctantly.
A thought occurred to her. "Your job? Your career?"
"Your father gave me his permission. My job is safe." He assured her.
"Your career?" She asked worriedly.
"Since your dad isn't firing me, my career should be fine too."
Zoey nodded, relieved. She smiled again. "Serena is going to be happy."
Josh's smile engulfed his face as he pictured his little girl. "Yes, she is." He was going to have to tell her soon, as their relationship was going to be so high profile and she might hear something at school. School. He looked down at his watch. He had given in and gotten a working watch when he'd gotten custody of Serena so that when he told her he'd be somewhere at a certain time, he'd be on time.
Josh stood. "It's time for Amy to bring Serena by. Do you want to come see her?"
Zoey stood. "I'd love that."
***********
That night, Josh stepped into the house. Walking past the entrance, he heard giggles coming from upstairs. With a grin, he mounted the steps quietly so that Serena wouldn't hear him.
Serena was in her bedroom, rolling on the floor laughing as Amy tickled her.
Josh leaned against the doorframe waiting for Serena to notice him.
Tuft stood to the side, watching his owner with a cocked head and a curious expression. Not willing to be left out of the fun, the puppy bounded over to Serena and Amy and jumped onto Serena's chest to start licking her face.
Josh was unable to resist laughing at the puppy's antics. At the sound, all three of the room's other occupants looked up.
Serena grinned as she jumped up, gently set Tuft down, and propelled herself at Josh.
Josh caught the child easily, noticing the look of amusement on Amy's face. "What did you have for dinner Angel?"
Serena's grin widened. "We had Spaghetti O's, garlic bread, and peas. We saved a plate for you." She offered mischievously. She knew how much Josh couldn't stand Spaghetti O's which was why Amy always let her have them on days when Josh wasn't going to be home during dinner.
Josh held back his cringe. "Thank you Angel. That was nice of you. I think I'll have a sandwich though."
Serena shrugged. "Okay."
"Keep me company while I eat?"
Serena smiled. "Can Tuft come?"
"Sure." He thought it was adorable that the child was reluctant to let the dog out of her sight when she was home.
Serena crossed the room to where Tuft was sitting, watching the humans interact inquisitively, and picked him up.
Josh smiled at Amy. "How was she this afternoon?"
"Great. We made cookies."
Josh nodded. "I'll put her to bed tonight."
Amy nodded. "Goodnight." She looked down at Serena who had just joined them. "Night Serena."
Serena hugged her leg one handedly while still clutching Tuft gently. "Night Amy."
As Amy disappeared to her room, Josh, Serena, and Tuft went down to the kitchen.
Josh made himself a grilled cheese sandwich and grabbed a soda from the fridge.
"Can I have a soda?"
Josh hesitated before nodding. "Half a glass of sprite." He poured her the drink before sitting down at the table with his dinner.
"How would you feel about me starting to date?" Josh asked after swallowing a bit of his sandwich.
Serena's eyes widened. "Date? Who would you date? Would they like me?" Uncertainty filled her eyes.
"She already does." He assured her. "It is Zoey whom I want to date."
A smile lit her face. "I like Zoey." She announced before frowning again. "What would be different if you dated her?"
"She might be around more."
She grinned broadly again.
"Sometimes, Zoey and I would go places without you though." He warned.
Serena shrugged. "That would be okay."
Josh smiled at her easygoing attitude. She had accepted it well. Of course, he'd known that she would.
After a few silent moments, Serena asked a question. "Are you going to marry Zoey?"
Josh quickly swallowed his coke, fighting to keep from choking. "What Angel?"
"Are you going to marry Zoey?" Serena calmly repeated.
Stalling for time, Josh finished his drink and the last bite of his sandwich and walked the dishes to the sink. Turning back to Serena he asked, "Why would you ask that Angel?"
Serena shrugged her small shoulders. "Daddy married Mommy and Uncle Toby and Aunt CJ are going to get married. They all dated."
Josh sat back down. "Zoey and I are just starting dating Angel. We aren't anywhere close to that step yet."
"Will you be?"
"I don't know. It is possible." Very possible, he thought. "But neither of us know for sure. That is why we are dating. To get to know each other better."
Serena frowned in confusion. "You already know each other well."
"We know each other as friends." Josh tried to explain in terms that a four- year-old would understand. "We have to get to know each other romantically."
"Oh." She said as she pondered his words. After several moments, she stood up. "Can I have my story now?"
"You need to brush your teeth first."
"I already did."
Josh hid his smile. She knew why she needed to brush them again. "You had a drink so you have to brush them again."
"Okay." She agreed with a sigh.
After she had brushed her teeth, they settled on her bed together to begin The Little Princess. They had finished Black Beauty the day before.
***************
Sitting in his office, Josh listened to CJ's briefing. Since Zoey was the President's daughter they had decided that they couldn't strictly go with 'the White House doesn't comment on the personal lives of its staff' as she would if it was just Josh they were asking about.
CJ finished reading her statement and asked for questions.
"CJ, how long have they been dating?" A reporter named Michael asked.
"They discovered how they felt about each other during the custody hearing.. After a discussion the next day, they decided to start dating. Danny?"
"How does the President feel about his youngest daughter dating one of his advisors?"
"Their relationship was given the President's blessing."
Josh snorted. Blessing? Not quite. President Bartlett wasn't happy about the situation. He had given Josh permission though and that was all that Josh needed.
A few minutes later CJ stepped off of the stage and Josh flipped the TV off. It was done. The press knew that he and Zoey were definitely a couple. Now, it would start. Every move they made would be watched. Every word either of them said in public, scrutinized.
The intercom buzzed and with a sigh, Josh pushed the button. "Yes Janet?" His assistant's, monotone voice filled the room.
"You have a personal phone call, Mr. Lyman."
"Who is it?" He asked impatiently.
"Kate Moss."
Panic coursed through Josh rapidly. "Put her through."
Moments later, Kate Moss's soft voice came over the phone. "Josh?"
"Mrs. Moss." His voice was weary. She could not be calling for any good reason.
"How is Serena?" Kate inquired.
Josh again sighed, this time, with relief. Donna hadn't passed away; if she had have, Mrs. Moss wouldn't be making small talk. "She's doing well. You know that I have full custody now?"
"Yes. Congratulations." Her voice was sincere and warm.
"Thank you."
"Jonathan and I have been discussing our daughter."
Uh oh. The last time that she said that to him, she wanted to unplug Donna from life support. "Yes?" He said cautiously.
"DC is so far from Wisconsin, Josh. We've only been able to come to DC three times since the accident. We miss her Josh."
"I know and I'm sorry." Josh spoke softly. He knew that his words did little to help Kate feel better but that was the best he could think of.
"We're coming to DC next week Josh."
"Good. How long will you be able stay?"
"We'll only be in DC for a few days."
"You're more than welcome to stay with us." Josh offered sincerely. "Neither of you are allergic to dogs are you?" He asked with mild concern.
Kate laughed. "No Josh. We aren't allergic to puppies. We'd love to stay with you and Serena. That will give us more time with our granddaughter."
"She'll like that."
Kate's tone changed. She knew he wasn't going to like the rest of what she had to say. "We are coming for a specific reason."
Josh frowned. "Not to visit your daughter?"
Kate sighed. "We're moving Donna to a convalescent home just a few minutes drive away from our house."
Josh's hand tightened on the phone in his hand. He had to have misunderstood her. She could not have just said that. "Wisconsin?" He whispered it but she heard him.
"Yes." She answered softly. "We'll be able to visit her daily. Her brothers will also be able to visit her more regularly."
"But everyone here."
Kate broke in. "Everyone there is wonderful. Jonathon and I are so very grateful that our daughter has so many loyal, loving friends. But that is what they and you are. Friends. We are her parents." She spoke firmly.
Ice filled Josh's voice. "Serena is here in DC and she is Donna's daughter."
"Adoptive daughter." Kate put in softly.
Josh's spine stiffened. "Don't you ever say that in Serena's hearing." He spoke through clenched teeth.
"I won't." Kate promised. She wasn't trying to be mean or cruel. She was just trying to make him see reason. "Does Serena visit her mother everyday, Josh?"
"No." Josh admitted reluctantly. He didn't volunteer that Serena hadn't seen her mother in over a month though.
"Do you see Donna everyday?"
"No." He saw her several times a week but he couldn't make it to the convalescent home everyday.
"Is there anyone there who does?"
"No." Josh acknowledged with a sigh.
"Jonathon and I will be seeing her everyday once she is in Wisconsin." Her voice softened. "Don't you think she'd be happier that way? Don't you think she gets lonely on days when she doesn't have any visitors?"
"Yes." Josh whispered after several silent moments. "Yes, but Serena. how do I tell that little girl that her mother is moving to Wisconsin?"
"Why don't you wait until Jonathon and I get there in a few days and we'll help you talk to her?" Kate suggested softly. "You know that you and Serena are welcome to come to Wisconsin to see her whenever you can." She paused. "I know you probably wouldn't want to do this with Serena so young but once Serena gets older, she can spend her summers or part of her summers here if she'd like."
"Thank you." Josh responded although he was pretty certain that he would not be allowing Serena to spend summers somewhere where he was not. Ever.
They finalized their plans and Josh dropped the phone back into its cradle. It looked like he was going to have to say goodbye one more time. It wasn't permanent but it was still goodbye.
*************
A few days later Josh stepped out of Leo's office after Senior Staff and headed through the West Wing to his own office.
The last few days had been difficult. After CJ had affirmed the rumors of Josh and Zoey's relationship, the press's attention had intensified.
Reporters now practically lived in Josh's front yard. The security system keep them outside the gate but anytime someone drove up to the gate the reporters would press closer yelling questions.
The attention had gotten so bad that Zoey had moved back to the Residence, at least temporarily, in order to escape the reporters that were trying to dog her every move.
One reporter had even tried to sneak into Serena's school by posing as a parent in order to get a comment on the relationship from the child.
Several programs and magazines had called asking for interviews. CJ was politely telling all of them that no interviews were being granted.
Josh stepped into his office and smiled. Serena sat behind his desk, a pen clenched tightly in her hand and the tip of her tongue sticking out between her lips. The pen ran over the paper in a perfect imitation of writing.
As Josh walked closer to the desk Serena looked up. "Hi." She said cheerfully.
"What are you writing?" Josh asked curiously.
"I heard Will tell Lauren earlier that he didn't like a speech that she had just written. He said that I could have done it better." She frowned. "That was mean." A small smile replaced the frown. "I decided to try though and I think he was wrong."
"Who's Lauren?" Josh asked, a confused expression on his face.
Serena sighed in exasperation. "She's one of the interns."
Josh just shrugged. He couldn't keep them all straight.
Crumpling the paper into a tiny ball as she had seen Toby do, Serena tossed it into the trashcan next to Josh's desk and stood. "Is it time to go?"
Josh glanced at his watch. "Yep."
Serena spent the car ride chattering.
Josh finally pulled into a parking spot after circling several times. He grumbled under his breath about them needing more spaces as he climbed out of the car and walked around to let Serena out.
Serena skipped next to Josh still talking about school and her friends there.
Inside the airport, they found seats near the gate the Moss's would be coming through. Ever friendly, Serena struck up a conversation with the man sitting across from them, which made Josh frown. The child had no fear of strangers.
The flight arrived and people started streaming through the gates.
Kate and Jonathan Moss stepped through and glanced around the assembled crowd, smiling when they noticed Josh and Serena.
Kate was in her early fifties and had long blond hair like her daughter's. Like her daughter's, strands of white were interspersed throughout. Few wrinkles lined her beautiful face. She smiled down at Serena and her brilliant blue-green eyes lit up.
Jonathan Moss was perhaps five years older than his wife was, Josh thought. Donna had gotten her height from him. He had light brown hair, tinged around his temples with gray. His green eyes twinkled as he hugged his granddaughter and shook Josh's hand.
After they retrieved the Moss's luggage, Serena grabbed onto her grandparent's hands and skipped between them as they walked to the parking lot.
Walking behind the trio, Josh allowed his mind to wander, tuning out the cheerful conversation and teasing going on in front of him.
Serena had been so excited when he'd told her that Kate and Jonathan were coming for a visit. She had spent most of the week planning things to do with them while they were in town. How was she going to react when she found out that they were going to take her mother out of the state?
Serena was a very above average child, but she was still a child. With child like logic, would she think that they were doing this to hurt her? Would she feel betrayed? And if she did feel that way, how could he help her?
Josh suppressed his sigh, wishing, not for the first time, that Kate hadn't called him.
************
That evening, after dinner, Kate and Jonathan sat on the sofa watching their granddaughter in amusement. Josh sat in an armchair near them but he was used to the scene before them.
Serena was curled up in a child-sized rocking chair near the fireplace with Tuft on her lap. As she rocked back and forth, she sang a lullaby to the puppy.
Kate took a sip of her coffee as she listened to the song. Serena was such a sweet little girl. She was so tender and caring. Kate hated that she was going to have to hurt the tenderhearted child. Still, she knew that she had no choice. She had to do what was right for her own daughter. Serena had Josh to look out for her. Kate realized that he cared about Donna and wanted what was best for her but Serena was his primary concern. She had to be.
Jonathan grinned as Serena ever so gently, stood up, trying not to jostle the now sleeping puppy. Tiptoeing across the room, Serena gently set the puppy down in his bed.
Her task complete, Serena walked across the room to sit near the others. Carefully, she took her cooling mug of hot chocolate off of the coffee table.
"Serena?" Kate ventured softly.
Taking a sip from the mug, she smiled at Kate. "Yes, Grandma Kate?"
Kate glanced at Josh who just shrugged. If she wanted to do this now, she could. There would never be a good time for this.
"You know that Grandpa Jonathon and I live a long way away?"
Serena nodded with a smile. "You live in Wisconsin. The state that looks like a mitten." She said proudly.
Kate returned her smile. "Yes we do. Since we live so far away, we have trouble coming here as often as we'd like to."
Serena frowned but said nothing as she returned her hot chocolate to the table.
"When we are in Wisconsin, we miss your mommy a lot."
"But she has lived here for a long time." Serena pointed out, still frowning. "Did you miss her the whole time?"
Kate was touched by Serena's concerned tone. "Yes, we did." She answered softly. "But it was a little bit better because we could talk to her on the phone and e-mail her."
Serena's bright blue eyes were filled with sadness and compassion. "Now you can't do those things."
"No, we can't." Jonathan agreed. "Grandma and I have been talking about what we can do."
Serena's face suddenly lit up, her eyes shining as a thought occurred to her. "You can move here, to DC and see Mommy everyday."
Josh swallowed at Serena's gleeful tone. She was so happy that she had come up with what she thought of as the perfect solution. Hearing that she was wrong was going to shatter her.
"Sweetie, that is a very good idea but it wouldn't work." Kate said gently, moving a little closer to the child.
"Why not?" She asked quietly as her exuberance faded.
"I work in Wisconsin, Honey." Jonathan reminded her gently. "Our sons live in Wisconsin as do all of our friends. We've lived in the same house for over twenty years."
"Oh." Serena spoke so softly that they could barely hear her.
"We've thought of another solution." Kate hurried on before she lost her nerve.
Serena smiled again.
"We're going to take Mommy to live in Wisconsin with us." Kate said quickly.
Serena's face fell. "Wisconsin?" She whispered.
The look on Serena's face almost broke her heart. "Yes." She answered softly.
Serena looked at Josh for confirmation, her blue eyes shining with unshed tears.
Josh swallowed the lump in his throat. He could brow beat recalcitrant members of Congress in a matter of minutes with little effort. But dealing with a devastated Serena, that he couldn't handle. He hated it when his little girl cried. With great effort, Josh nodded.
She turned back to Kate. "How long?"
"I don't know." Kate answered truthfully. "Until she gets better."
A tear slipped down her cheek, followed by another until they were streaming down her face.
Kate met Josh's eyes helplessly.
Ignoring the woman, Josh pulled the child onto his lap and kissed the top of her head soothingly.
Turning, Serena buried her face in Josh's chest, her sobs shaking her body. It wasn't fair, she thought desperately. They couldn't take her mommy away from her. It just wasn't fair.
Kate felt her own tears fall as she watched the scene before her. Serena was now sobbing as Josh held her close, his expression devastated as he tried to comfort her as best he could. She hadn't been in the room when he'd told her about Sam's death but she imagined that it was something like this.
Jonathan squeezed his wife's hand, hating that they had to do this but knowing that they did.
After several minutes, Serena's sobs subsided and she lifted her tear stained face from its hiding place. She met Kate's eyes plaintively. "I'll miss her." She whispered brokenly.
"And she'll miss you." Kate responded, her own voice weak as she fought back her tears.
"It isn't fair."
"No, it isn't." Jonathan agreed. None of this was fair. They shouldn't have to make this decision. The car accident shouldn't have happened. A four- year-old shouldn't have to deal with yet another loss. But it had all happened, fair or not. All they could do was what they felt was best in a horrible situation.
"In Wisconsin, Mommy will live very close to Grandpa and I." Kate went on. "We'll be able to visit her everyday. She won't be as lonely."
Serena's eyes gleamed defiantly. "How do you know she is lonely?" She demanded. "Mommy can't tell you."
"No, she can't. But I'm her Mommy, so I know." Seeing that that hadn't worked, she decided to try another tactic. "Sweetie, if you were asleep for a long time like Mommy is, would you want to live near Uncle Josh?"
Serena's lower lip protruded. After a few minutes, she finally answered. "Yes."
"Then don't you think Mommy deserves that chance?"
Serena swallowed. "But I'll miss her so much."
"You can come visit her in Wisconsin whenever you want to." Kate offered with a small smile.
Serena leaned back against Josh's chest. "Okay." She finally said very quietly before turning to meet Josh's eyes. "I want to go to bed now, Uncle Josh."
Without a word to their guests, Josh stood and exited the room, Serena still in his arms.
After they had left, Kate met her husband's eyes. "That was worse than I expected. I knew she was going to be hurt but." She let her words trail off as she stared into her coffee cup.
"I didn't expect the anger either." Jonathan said with a sigh. "But we should have." He rubbed his hand over his face. "We're taking her mother from her. I guess that that makes us bad guys in her mind."
"She is just so young. Too young to really understand this but for awhile, I actually thought that I was getting somewhere with her."
"So did I." Jonathan said before taking a long sip of his coffee. "Maybe we did." He mused. "We don't really know her that well. Maybe we got farther than we thought."
"Maybe." Kate agreed doubtfully.
Josh returned a few minutes later to retrieve Tuft. He met their eyes briefly but said nothing.
*******
Josh took a swallow of his coffee before setting the cup back on his desk with a thump. Coffee sloshed over the sides but he ignored it.
He should have stopped them from telling her. He should have made them wait until she was better prepared. He should have, but how? How would he have made Serena any more prepared than she had been?
"Josh?" Zoey asked tentatively as she stepped into his office. She took in his appearance worriedly. His hair was mussed, his eyes rimmed with fatigue and concern, his chin covered in stubble, and his tie askew. At least he was wearing a different suit than he had been the day before, she mused.
Josh looked up, startled at her sudden appearance. "Janice didn't let me know that you were here."
Zoey shrugged. "I told her not to. I didn't think I needed her to announce." Her eyes grew uncertain as she spoke.
Josh belatedly realized how he had sounded and that he had inadvertently hurt her with his careless words. He stood and rounded the desk. "Zo, I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad to see you." He pulled her into his arms for a kiss.
Zoey felt her hurt and uncertainty melt away at his touch. Finally though, she pulled away from the kiss but stayed in his arms. "What's wrong?" She asked concernedly.
Josh sighed as he reluctantly pulled away from her and motioned for her to sit across from his desk. He went back to his chair so that he was facing her. Not for the first time, he wished that he had a couch in his office. "Serena and I got Mrs. and Mr. Moss from the airport yesterday."
Zoey frowned in confusion. "Did they get settled in okay?"
"Yeah."
Sudden comprehension dawned in her yes. "They told her last night didn't they?"
Josh nodded. "It devastated her and there was nothing that I could do. She looked at me with her bright eyes filled with tears after Kate told her. All she wanted was for me to discount what Kate had told her and I couldn't do it."
Zoey saw the pain flare up in his eyes. "She doesn't blame you. She understands that there isn't anything that you can do."
"No, she doesn't." He agreed. "She blames them. Last night, I took her upstairs and it was hours before she fell asleep. During that time, she kept telling me how unfair it is. Yet, she is so compassionate that she can see why they are doing it." He sighed. "She is confused, hurt, and angry."
"How is she now?"
Josh met Zoey's deep brown eyes, which were fill with pain and concern for Serena, and he gave he a small smile. She really did love Serena, he knew. "She spent most of the night sobbing, Zoey. She cried until she fell asleep. She was so upset that I let her stay with me all night."
Zoey's eyes softened at his words. He had been so uncertain when he got custody of Serena. He had been so afraid that he wasn't going to do a good job of raising her. But he was doing a wonderful job. He was an amazing father to Serena and would be an amazing father to any other children that he might have.
"She was so exhausted that I didn't send her to pre-school this morning." Josh continued.
Zoey blinked. "But aren't the Moss's at your house?"
"They are spending most of the morning with Donna and then they have some arrangements to make for her transfer to Wisconsin. Amy's going to bring Serena here this afternoon, as always."
Zoey just nodded. She hesitated before speaking again. "Do you think that she is going to be okay? She's been through so much."
"Yes, she has. She's been through more than someone four times her age should have been." He grinned. "But she is amazing. The things that she has been through would have ruined most children. Made them into spoiled brats or juvenile delinquents. Serena has taken it all so well."
"She has." Zoey agreed. She was still worried about the child but she didn't press Josh. She knew that he was already worried enough.
"When are they leaving?" Zoey asked after several silent minutes.
Josh ran his hand through his hair. "I spoke to Jonathan before I left this morning. Last night, they decided that it was best for them to leave as soon as possible. They think probably the day after tomorrow."
"The day after tomorrow?" Zoey said in surprise. "No one knows that she is leaving yet, do they?"
Josh shook his head. After he had spoken to Kate on the phone, he had had to talk to someone so he had confided in Zoey. The others all knew that Kate and Jonathan were in town but he hadn't said a word about them taking Donna back to Wisconsin with them. Now, he was going to have to talk to everyone a lot sooner than he had planned to.
Janice stepped into the room she cast them both a disapproving look before speaking. "You have Senior Staff in five minutes, Mr. Lyman." With another glance at Zoey, she left.
Zoey saw Josh's expression and spoke softly. "Don't."
Josh swung his gaze back to Zoey and the anger in his eyes disappeared. "Zo, she has no right to act like that. No one does. There isn't anything wrong with our relationship."
She reached across the desk and covered Josh's hand with hers. "No, they don't. But Josh, we knew what reactions we were going to get. We knew that a lot of people were going to disapprove of our relationship."
Josh's eyes were hard as he stared at his door. "They can think what they like. She can think what she likes but she can't show her disdain. She can't look at you like that. I won't have an assistant that treats my girlfriend like that."
Zoey sighed. "I don't like it either but Josh, you already go through enough assistants. Janice is the only one that has lasted for any extended period of time."
"Not anymore. I'm going to have them send a temp up after Senior Staff." He sighed at her expression. "Zo, its people who act like that that leak things to the press. We don't want things about our private relationship getting out." He stressed the word private.
Zoey sighed again. This time her sigh was because he was right. "No we don't." She agreed. After a moment she stood. She gave Josh a smile. "I'll let you get to Senior Staff, before you're late."
Josh walked around his desk again. He gave Zoey another kiss before they both left his office, going in opposite directions.
***********
"I don't want to go." Serena said, giving Josh a pleading look.
Josh sighed. "Serena, you always go home with Amy after our visit in the afternoons."
Serena bit her bottom lip. "But they're there."
Josh walked around the desk to kneel in front of the child so that they were at eye level. "Serena, they are your grandparents. They love you."
She immediately shook her head in adamant refusal. "They're taking my Mommy away."
"They aren't doing it to hurt you."
"But it hurts anyway." She said simply. "You and Amy say that you aren't suppose to hurt others and if you do so accidentally, you have to apologize and make it right."
Josh met the nanny's eyes helplessly but the girl just shrugged. "Angel, this is a little different. Grandma Kate and Grandpa Jonathan love Mommy as much as you do but in a different way. They've loved her since before she was born. That's a long time. Now, she is sick and there isn't anything that they can do. That hurts them. They want her near them, so they can help her."
Serena pondered that for a few minutes before smiling. "They can take her home with them."
Josh blinked. Where had that sudden change of heart come from?
"It will be a nice vacation for her." Serena continued. "Then, after a few weeks, they can bring her home."
Josh stood up and lifted Serena out of the visitor's chair. Sitting down in the chair himself, he settled the child on his lap.
Serena turned her head so that she could see his face.
"Mommy can't come home that soon. It isn't possible."
"Why not?" She demanded.
"It is going to be very difficult for them to move Mommy because of her medical condition so she'll have to stay in Wisconsin for a long time."
Serena was silent for several more minutes. "Than, can we move to Wisconsin?"
Josh swallowed. How could he answer that without sounding selfish to Serena? He couldn't tell her that they couldn't move because of his job. She'd want him to get another job.
"Sweetie, I can't move to Wisconsin. My Mommy and Daddy are in DC." Amy jumped in. "If you move to Wisconsin, I can't take care of you anymore."
Serena's face fell as she looked back at Josh. "We can't move without Amy."
Josh sent Amy a grateful smile which she returned.
"When are they taking Mommy?"
"The day after tomorrow." Josh answered wearily.
Serena's eyes widened. "That soon?" She whispered.
Josh just nodded.
"You can't stop them?"
"No Angel. There isn't anything that I can do."
"Oh." Serena reached across Josh's desk to retrieve a picture. Holding the frame between her hands, she gazed at it intently.
This picture had been taken at the barbecue that they had had right before Alana took Donna and Sam to court for the last time. Not long after that, they had all been in the terrible car accident on their way back from Alana's on court ordered visitation.
In the picture, Donna and Serena were sitting together on the ledge of an old, stone barbecue in the back yard. (The food was being made on a newer barbecue.) Their legs dangled off of the side and their hands were behind them, propping them up. Donna's long blond hair billowed out around her in the gentle breeze surrounding them. Both she and Serena were laughing at something going on around them. They were both completely relaxed and happy in the photo.
After several minutes, Serena carefully replaced the picture. "Can we go visit her?"
"Of course." Josh assured her immediately.
"I'm going to miss her allot." She confessed.
"I know." Josh whispered as he kissed her forehead. "I'm so proud of you."
Serena gave him a wobbly smile. "I still don't really want to see them right now though."
"That's okay." Josh assured her. "How about this, Amy can take you to the park for awhile and then I'll meet you back at the house for dinner tonight?"
Serena grinned as she jumped off of his lap. "Cool." She hugged him as he stood up. "Thank you, Uncle Josh."
"Your welcome Angel. I love you."
"Love you too." She skipped out the door with Amy and Josh went back behind his desk with a sigh.
************
With a deep, fortifying, breath, Josh made his way down the hallway with quick strides. His footsteps sounded in the quiet hall.
He stopped beside the nurse's station as he always did. The young woman behind the desk smiled at him. He recognized her but had no idea what her name was. "How is she?"
Her smile turned apologetic. "I'm sorry. There's no change."
Josh exhaled quickly. He had known that she was going to say that but had hoped that just this once, that wouldn't be the answer. He'd hoped that there would have been just enough change to give them hope. Just enough so that maybe, just maybe, the Moss' might change their minds. Enough change that Serena wouldn't have to loose her mother even more than she already had.
Josh nodded at the nurse before stepping over to the door to Donna's room. Stepping inside the room, he took another deep breath before approaching the bed. He pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down.
Reaching out, he brushed a strand of hair out of her face. "You've been popular today haven't you Donnatella? CJ told me that she and Toby came by on their way to work early this morning. Margaret, Carol, Bonnie, and Ginger all came on their lunch breaks. Abbey was here this morning. Zoey said that she stayed and talked to you for quite awhile. I know that you are wondering why we all came on the same day since we don't usually."
Josh swallowed before continuing. "Your parents have been by several times so I know that you know they are here in DC. They are leaving tomorrow. They are taking you with them Donna. You're moving to a convalescent home just a few minutes from their house so that they can see you everyday."
"Serena wasn't happy when she first found out but she is okay now. I've promised her that we are going to come visit you very frequently."
"I'm sorry that she didn't come to see you. She just wasn't up to it. I'll try to get her to call you in Wisconsin in a few days. Your mother can hold her cell phone up to your ear so you can hear her."
"I know I've told you about her new school. She absolutely loves it there. She adores her new teacher. She is so gentle and calm with the children." He grinned. "And most of the children have Democrats for parents. I know several of our senators and congressman whose children go there, in fact."
"She still pampers that puppy as if it were a newborn. She loves Tuft so much. I've used several rolls of film already taking pictures of Serena and Tuft. You can see them when you are able. She rocks him to sleep, tries to feed him with a spoon, and dresses him. The puppy doesn't seem to mind any of it.
"At first, I wondered if I'd made the right decision allowing her to get a Hairless Chinese Crested instead of a sturdier dog like a Golden Retriever or a Lab but now I have no doubts. A larger dog would get too large for Serena to play with the way that she is accustomed to. Tuft will always be small enough for her to rock him to sleep and carry him around."
"She barely mentions Alana. She is very relieved that she doesn't have to visit her anymore though. Alana really frightened Serena."
Josh ran his hand through his hair. He knew what he had to tell her but he didn't want to. But he had run out of news and small talk. "I don't know what Zoey talked to you about today, but she told me that she didn't tell you this. She and I have been dating for about two weeks now. It's soon but I think that I'm falling in love with her."
"Serena adores Zoey and is happy about the relationship. She has always adored Zoey as you know and loves that Zoey is spending even more time with us now."
"The President and First Lady aren't as happy about it. I spoke to the President before hand and he grudgingly gave me his blessing but he and Abbey are still very unsure about the relationship. I guess I can understand their concern. I'm sure I'd feel the same way if it was Serena but still. I don't plan to hurt her."
"Then there is CJ. She is pissed because she had to spin this in the press. The press as you can imagine, loves this. They keep listing Zoey and my differences. They point out the age difference. They make sure everyone knows about my job. They discuss the differences in our religions and the fact that I'm raising Serena."
"I think our faces have appeared on the cover of just about every magazine and tabloid in the country. A few even have pictures of the two of us with Serena."
"Thank God Alana is completely out of our lives or she's probably try to get custody of Serena because of this. But after the disclosure of her alcohol problems, she knows that she wouldn't have a chance, especially not this soon."
Josh again brushed his hand over her short hair. "I still love you so much Donnatella. I'm going to miss you once your gone. I'm going to miss these visits and telling you everything that is happening. You can't give me advice, but I still feel that confiding all of this in you helps me somehow. Telling you everything makes me feel so much better."
He stood up and leaned over to kiss her forehead. "I love you and I always will. But the time has come for me to move on with my life. But, Donna, I will always love you."
He stepped out into the hallway just as Leo walked around the corner.
"I just came by to say goodbye to her." Leo explained.
"Me, too." Josh said softly. "Me, too."
*************
