Harry Potter and the Secret of Lils

Rachel E. Thompson

Email: racheview@yahoo.com

Web page: www.racheview.com

Rating: R

Category: Action/Drama

Disclaimer: Alas, I don't own Harry and Co.

Summary: Voldemort won and imprisoned the world under his regime. Now six years later, a new resistance called Lils struggles on their crusade to free the world again. So where does Ginny Weasley fit in? H/G, R/HG, N/L. OoTP Spoilers.

Author's Note: This is my sugar baby fic! It practically spawned on its own, and I've been possessed to finish it ever since. So here it is, my mauling of a classic tale by J.K. Rowling. Enjoy.

***

Chapter Six. Past Plights

Ronald Weasley was about to get the powerhouses of interrogations that night. If he had any sense at all, he would've been the first out of the room. However, Ron thought as any older sibling might, that he could handle his younger sister. He was wrong.

Ginny watched Ron put out the fire in the fireplace, he then glanced up towards the darken staircase. When he finally turned to look at her, a look of grudging realization flashed on his face. He knew what she wanted to talk about. He made a halfhearted motion to head to bed, but the shorter redhead cut him off.

"We need to talk."

"Ginny, it's late. I need sleep." He tried to get by her, but who knew a woman of her size could be so immobile? Again she jumped in front of him. Her dark eyes flashed angrily in the dim light. Her hands flew to her hips in a perfect impression of Molly Weasley.

"No, Ron!" She snapped, "I deserve an explanation. What's going on here?" Ron tried his best to look imposing as possible, but his little sister had long ago become immune to that look. "Don't give me that look! What's all this about! If it affects my family, then I have a right to know."

"It doesn't really…"

"It does!" She cried, "I can't stand all these bloody secrets! Ron, how do you expect me to be ready for what's next if you don't clue me in? You can't protect me like we're kids anymore! I have a son to look after now, and if you don't tell me what's going on, how can I protect him?"

At that, he actually looked torn. His blue eyes narrowed a little, before he sighed angrily and motioned her towards the kitchen. "Fine. Come on."

It was in there, he paused to glance around, Ron then pulled a small marble from his vest pocket. It was a soft, silver color. Ginny looked at him oddly, "What's that?"

"A Quieting Orb." He squeezed the orb twice. There was a soft twang, like a gentle note from a wind chime. Ginny felt her ears pop, as the pressure in the room fluctuated. "Lils created this, she's damn handy with charms. I don't know how it works, but I know it combines a silencing charm with modern Muggle technology – so somehow it's undetectable and indestructible. Lils also built in an advance warning feature, so I can tell if someone's about to walk in or eavesdropping on the conversation… Hermione could go into all the nitty-gritty of it." He told her, as he held up the now golden sphere. The inside of the Quieting Orb swirled with deeper tones of orange, that created a lava lamp effect. Ron slid the sphere back into his vest pocket. He curtly motioned his sister to sit.

Ginny sat down slowly and watched her irritated brother set a kettle to boil. Whatever he was about to tell her, wasn't something he looked forward to explaining.

She nervously laced her hands together and placed them in her lap. It was then she noted that Lils had slinked into the room and flopped down at her side. Ginny wasn't sure what to make of the sheepdog. If it were a wizard or witch, wouldn't they have shown their real self to her by now? Did they not trust her?

When the kettle let out a shrilly-whistle, Ginny jumped in her seat. She nervously glanced over at Ron, who stirred up a pot of tea. He brought it and two cups over, and then set them down on the table. The redhead wizard flopped tiredly into his chair. He ignored his cup and opted to rub at his tired blue eyes.

"It began three years ago. It was Fred's idea, really." Ron began softly. The witch's fingers tighten around her spoon, as she stirred her tea. Ginny felt her chest constrict at the mere mentioning of Fred. 

The former Keeper went on in a dead tone. "Anyways… He, George and I schemed on ways to fight back. I used my logic in chess, while they used their brilliant knack for causing havoc… We all wanted to fight Voldemort so badly back then, it didn't matter what we had to do, as long as we did something. We started to attack Death Eaters… It wasn't anything worth mentioning in the news, just little scourges." Ron let his eyes lift to the ceiling, while a faint smile worked over his face. "And the more we caused a fuss, the more people joined the cause…"

Ginny glanced up when he abruptly stopped. She watched, as a pained expression moved over Ron's face. His blue eyes burned holes into the tabletop, as he worked his jaw. He looked unsure how to continue. Finally he just blurted out, "Then – Fred – Well, I told you George wasn't the same. It was rough for a while; I thought I might loose George too…" He swallowed visibly. The witch was hit with a wave of empathy for both her brothers. She knew what it was like to feel completely helpless. "I'll be the first to tell you, Ginny, that I wasn't exactly stable myself… Hermione was scared that I'd slip off to take revenge in a fit of rage." He paused, as he stared down at the wooden tabletop. She could certainly imagine what those horrible days after Fred's disappearance had been like. Ron had always been about action, and not to be able to do anything… It must have killed him.

"That's when Lils came."

Ginny watched, as her brother finally made himself a cup of tea. Ron only did it to keep his hands busy, because he didn't drink it. "It was practically a miracle, Ginny. We were all fighting among ourselves. All of us wanted to act, but none of us would listen to the other. Then out of the blue that bloody mutt shows up with a note from Lils."  He shook his head, then added with a slight chuckle, "But not one of us has got a ruddy clue who she is, where she came from, how she found out about us, or anything…"

"You don't find that a little odd?"

"At first, yeah. We thought she might have been a spy."

"But?"

"But, that was before she issued one hell of an attack on Voldemort." He smirked slightly as he remembered. "She bombed out five of Voldemort's strongholds in one night, and killed three of that bastard's top admirals. The Lestranges and Pettigrew." Ginny's eyes widen at the mentioning of the Death Eaters. They had been the cause of much misery in her days at Hogwarts. Especially to Harry. "And Lils didn't stop there either, Ginny… She sent her best people to us. Carnation Akins, and Pen Spelling. Carnation's a telepath – it makes for a nice heads up in a duel. Pen, he's a Squib and bit of an arsewipe, but bloody brilliant with explosives."

"Well… It was hard not to trust Lils, after all she did," Ron went on. "A wise one, ol' Lils is. In fact, it was her idea for the headquarters to be out in the open as the Lils Inn – I thought she was barking mad." There was a gruff complaint from the dog on the floor, but Ron didn't seem to mind. "But she was right. Voldemort, the arrogant wanker, doesn't look for a underground resistance to be located in a bleeding hotel."

"And the dog?" Ginny asked, as she reached down and scratched Lils's velvet ears, only to earn a happy snort from the Border Collie. "Is he a wizard?"

Ron colored slightly, as he glanced down at the dog too. "We don't honestly know, Ginny. Me and George reckon he is, after all, he just seems to know what's going on." He leaned over and whispered in a conspiring tone, "He seems to be especially sensitive around you and James."

"It's strange," Ginny whispered, as she glanced down at the sheepdog. Lils yawned loudly, then panted contently while she caressed his ear. "Sometimes… It-it seems he knows me. That's impossible of course, I've never met him before."

"Join the club." Ron muttered, as he sent a crossed look towards the Border Collie. "It's bizarre behavior even for a human. About the only thing we do know about him, is that he belongs to Lils. He disappears sometimes, but always brings back instructions from her. They're both heaven sent, Ginny, we don't know much on either of them, but we're grateful for their help."

"Well… She may be heaven sent, but she seems a little narcissistic if you ask me. Names her dog and the inn, all after herself?" Ginny snorted and watched Ron smirk and shake his head. "No, Ginny. We only call the dog 'Lils,' because we don't ruddy-well know the damn thing's name. Like I said, he just showed up one day. The blasted mutt." Another growl came from under the table. "As for the inn… I don't know, I guess she is a little."

"So what about the coded message earlier? What's that all about?"

Ron sobered again. "It means that our next stage of gorilla warfare is going to start. We won't hear of it, Voldemort keeps everything so bloody hush-hush, took a page from that bastard Fudge's book, I swear." He looked her straight in the eye, "But rest assured, there will be blood spilt by the morning's light."

"Oh…"

"We're at war, Ginny." He responded to her dismay reply, "It's not pretty, heroic, or even right… Just war. We'll do whatever we have to if it means Voldemort is gone." Ginny stared at her cooling cup of tea, and looked at her murky reflection. Of course she knew that. She had a hand in all the carnage too. Her eyes closed, as the memory of her flight from Birmingham sprung to mind. That seemed like a lifetime ago. She was a murderer. She had no right to frown on her brothers and the Lils Resistance.

"I know, Ron." She whispered quietly.

"It's what he would of wanted you know," Ron said in a sadden tone. "He would of wanted us to keep fighting." Though her brother didn't say who he was, Ginny had a good idea. Harry Potter. She closed her eyes tightly as misery grabbed at her soul. Where was hope? What was there to look forward to? Where would she be ten years from now? That very same question had been asked of her once. Not so long ago, and at a bleak moment very similar to this.

"You're going to get through this, Ginny." Harry had told her firmly. "…And live your life. Even if I have to drag your arse every step of the way."

"H-Harry…"

"Ginny?" Ron seemed so far away. She looked to her brother, to see his face had ashened. He gripped her trembling hands. 'That's funny, I don't remember my hands starting to shake…'

"W-what, Ron?"

"You turned whiter then death, and then whispered 'Harry.' You okay?"

She blinked her eyes, as she tried to reach some sense of sanity. She pulled her hands from his, and smiled nervously. "Oh, sure. Sure. I'll be okay. I just…" Ginny shook her head before she took a large gulp of her cold tea.

Ron watched her, with his wide but haunted blue eyes. Her poor brother looked like he was ready to collapse into exhaustion or the constant dejection that dogged his heels. She never realized that until that moment. Maybe she hadn't wanted to see it.

Truth was, her brother had lost like her. She didn't think any blow hit as hard as Harry's. Those two had been like blood brothers, never one without the other. Harry said 'go,' and Ron was already half way there. Sure, he tried to shoulder the lost of his best friend and carry on, but she knew better. His sense of direction had been lost that day and he was second-guessing himself ever since. But he was wrong to think like that. Ginny knew that Harry would be proud of Ron, Hermione and George.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you… Well, not wanting, but I should. No. I have to tell you." He practically retched words. He looked like a man possessed to tell his deepest, darkest secret. "I wanted to go back, Ginny… I wanted to go back and get him, I did… But… I… And…" Ron stumbled into silence during his sudden confession.

Ginny felt a wave of appall and misery eat her. Her heart felt crushed as it dawned on her what he was trying to get across. Did he mean that Harry's body was never recovered? Is that what he meant?

"I… Everything kept happening all at once, and I couldn't keep up!" He angrily raked his hands over his face. "Merlin… You should hate me, Ginny."

Her son's father never received a proper burial. It was all she could do to keep herself in her seat. Her fingers gripped onto the table to the point her nails dug into the wood. She wanted to scream at Ron. She wanted to hit him for abandoning Harry like that. She wanted to hate him…

But she couldn't. Life was too short and precious to waste time on being angry over circumstances that were out of control. Besides, Harry wouldn't have been terribly upset with his friend's lack of attention – He was, after all, dead. Then Ron hadn't been exactly well when all of this had occurred. He had been hovering on the brink of death thanks to Voldemort. Not only that, but he had to take care of Hermione, who had lost her sight. It was understandable, her logic told her. But that didn't stop her heart from being crushed.

"Ron… I don't hate you." She swallowed back the inferno of emotions. "Voldemort almost killed you… Besides that, you had Hermione and everyone else to worry about…"

Ron mournfully shook his head. He continued on, as if he didn't hear her. "Neville, bless him, went back to get Harry before Voldemort did something t-to…" His palms pressed tightly into his closed eyes, as he stuttered. "…B-but."

"But?"

His hands dropped before he fixed Ginny with wet blue eyes. "He couldn't find it. Anywhere. He even did a tracking spell, but it just wasn't at Hogwarts." The redhead witch was just sick, she couldn't decide which was worse, never finding Harry's body or leaving it to rot by that damn lake.

She leaned back in her chair, as a wave of shakes took her. The redhead witch felt a sob clog her lungs. Ginny covered her mouth with her hands, as a swell of nausea came next. "But he was there! I saw it! Harry was THERE!"

"I know he was there." Ron whispered just as upset as her. "But…" He shook his head, "You have no idea what Voldemort did to Dumbledore's body." All of his color faded, as his eyes flashed with uncontrollable hatred. "How that… Filthy motherfucker… P-publicly – Publicly maimed—!" Traumatized by the disfigurement of Dumbledore's body, Ron grabbed his teacup and flung it at the sink! It caused a desirable shattering sound as it exploded against the sink-wall. He then hid his eyes within his quivering right hand, his rage collapsed. There was a telltale sniffle that spoke of the tears that came to her passionate brother.

"I'm so tired of it all, Ginny," His voice raw. "I'm so fucking tired of it! It never seems to end. Hermione, Harry, Fred, Charlie, Bill, Percy, Mum and Dad…" He let his hand drop to reveal frustrated tears. "Just when I think I get a handle on all of it, he goes and turns the bloody world upside down again!"

Suddenly a will to ease his pain rose into her wounded heart, a motherly urge. Ginny stood up on autopilot and walked to his chair. She hugged Ron into her side. He instinctively wrapped his arms tightly around her, in such a grip that it hurt to breathe. He shook violently under her touch.

"We shouldn't even be going through all this!" Ron cried in frustration, his hands fisted in her blouse. Ginny continued to silently soothe him, and let him vent his frustrations. "Harry was supposed to win, just like always! Just like blinkin' always!"

"Shh, things will work out… You'll see, Ron… I don't know how…" Ginny whispered to her brother. "But… They will. It can't always be bad. Just as long as we have hope, then we can keep going." She swallowed hard. "Harry made me promise one time… He made me promise to never give up. I forgot it for a little while…" The redhead mother sniffled and forced a watery smile. "But he was right you know… We can't let Voldemort win. We have to fight this like everything else… Ron, promise me, you'll do that. Promise you'll keep going?"

Ron swallowed loudly, as he looked at her in awe for what seemed like minutes. His blue eyes searched hers, before he said in a quieter volume, "I promise, Ginny." He smiled softly, before he tugged her down into his lap and hugged her tightly. She was even more surprised when he kissed her smack on the nose. He had not done that since they were very small children. "I luv you, Ginny."

"I love you too, Ron."

It was a moment they hadn't been able to have in a long time. It was part of the magic they had hatched as the youngest children of the Weasleys, and forged into a powerful bond. It had been forgotten somewhere on the train to Hogwarts, but here in the kitchen of Lils Inn, it was finally recaptured, if only for a moment.

"Mum!" A small voice called, shattering the quiet moment. They jerked around to see a horrified James rush into the kitchen. Tears stained his cheeks and he looked deathly pale. It was not a look a mother wanted to see on their child. Behind him, a drowsy George and an alarmed Hermione hurried in, obviously woken up by whatever happened to Ginny's son.

"James? What is it, love?"

"Mum! I-i-it w-was aw-ful!" He practically threw himself at her, and Ginny fought hard to keep from falling over. Ron, thankfully had the presence of mind to steady the pair. This was all lost on her, as she felt the terrible quakes that rolled over James's little frame. He was soaked in a cold sweat. Alarm ripped through her, as she realized her son was petrified.

"What was awful, James?"

"It-it… It… And… He… And… They… It… It!" He went on incoherently between tearful sobs. His arms were wrapped so tightly around Ginny's neck, that she had to tug at them so she breathe. "Shh, James… Slower, love… I can't understand you."

"I'll make some more tea, it will help him relax." George whispered, as he grabbed the kettle to re-warm the water. While Hermione, walked over and sat down in Ginny's former chair, and listened in deep concern for her nephew.

"What happened?" Ron softly inquired of his wife, Hermione shook her head before she spoke. "I had just settled your mother down when I heard James scream." She explained in a hush tone, "When I went to comfort him, he wouldn't wake. He only grew more upset… When he did wake up, he screamed for Ginny… And you know the rest."

A nightmare. Ginny sat down into another chair. She dragged her son up into her lap. James sobbed heartbrokenly into her shoulder. "Shh, love," she rocked him slightly. The redhead ran her hands in soothing circles over the boy's back. "It's alright, I'm here. You're safe… It's okay. It was only a dream… Just a dream."

George brought over a new pot of tea and more cups. He then sat down next to his brother and worriedly stared at his nephew. He whispered, as he handed the boy a cup of tea. "Here, lad… Have a sip of this."

Ginny took the tea with a grateful smile, before she made her upset son drink it. It did help to relax him because soon his shaking had died, and his grip around her neck wasn't quite so tight. "Now…" She whispered soothingly, "What did you dream of, Jamie?"

He sniffled loudly. James begun in a raw, and quivering voice, "He… He… He took you away, mum!"

"Who took me, love?"

"The snake face," He exclaimed out fearfully. "He took you away just like Dada! I don't want you to go away, mum! Don't go away!" He cried, as he resumed his death grip.

Ginny grimaced, as she reached up and again tugged at his little arms. She took both his hands and kissed them each, afterwards she stared him straight in the eyes. "I'm not going anywhere, James… See? Everything is all right. But I need you to tell me more about this 'snake face,' okay?"

"He… His face looked like a snake's. He wasn't a friendly one…" He referred to the reptiles he had played with back in the woods. James had told her once, that his snakes had always been kind to him, just as long as he didn't hurt them or keep them captive. "He had red eyes… And he was nasty! I hate him!"

"Red eyes," Hermione mused quietly. The Weasleys glanced over at the brunette. She went on at her family's silence, "You don't suppose he means Voldemort, do you?"

George made a disapproving face, as he addressed to his sister-in-law. "Now come on, Hermione… He's just a boy… It could have been anyone in his dream. It was just a nightmare."

"What? What is it, Hermione?" Ron asked, truly curious. "You reckon it might be a vision?"

His wife looked thoughtful for a moment, before she shook her head. "Harry was known to have visions of what Voldemort planned to do or was doing. I don't think it would be such a leap to say that's what it was."

"Yes, but Harry had that scar," George argued. "He was connected to him."

"James is Harry's son, George." Hermione reproached. "Besides that, it wasn't the scar that was the source of the connection. When Voldemort tried to kill Harry the first time, he unintentionally gave some of his powers to Harry. So maybe some of Voldemort's powers were inherited by James… Maybe, just maybe, James has some type of link with Voldemort." Ginny was horrified at the thought of her son being connected to the dark lord in anyway.

"The little tyke probably was just having a bad dream," George grumbled. "That's not something you can just pass down! You're reaching too much! Besides, why would he suddenly have a vision now?"

"Harry didn't always have visions, George." Hermione reminded the older wizard. "But what worries me more, is if this vision is genuine. Do remember, Voldemort tricked Harry in our fifth year… He could be feeding false information to James."

George didn't get a chance to say anything edgewise, because his younger brother spoke up. "I'd rather be safe then sorry, George." Ron turned back to the young boy. "What else happened, James? What else did you see?" He asked the sniffling boy.

James rubbed his hand under his runny nose, before he continued to explain his nightmare. "He killed Mum with a green light," he whispered as he glanced over at his silent mother. "I tried to stop him, but I couldn't! Really I did try, mum!"

The redhead mother placed a kiss to his wet cheeks. Ginny whispered, "I know you did, love. It wasn't your fault."

"I don't like it," Ron muttered after a quiet moment. "He doesn't know what a killing curse looks like, does he?" Ginny shook her head gravely. Her older brother sighed tiredly and lowered his gaze to the table. Hermione spoke up in a grave tone, "I think we should be very careful, Ginny. I think we should even inform Lils of this."

"Are you sure it's worth it?" George asked, still doubting the creditability of the dream. "It could be nothing, a lucky guess even…"

"Hermione's right, George." Ron said with a hint of pride in his voice. He stood and went to find some parchment. "I'll write the letter. Reckon you can get it to her, Lils?" The dog let out an eager bark and earned a smile from the room. "Good then."

"Alright, fine… With that settled. Let's go back to bed," George said tiredly, as he grabbed his cup and went to put it in the sink. It was then he noticed the shattered remains of Ron's original cup. "Butter fingers?"

"Good night, George."

The oldest Weasley laughed at his younger brother's embarrassment. He waved his hands, as if to defend himself against the killer death stare Ron sent his way. "Alright, alright! I get the point. 'Night, all."

***

Ginny couldn't tear herself from James's side that night, if she did, he immediately began to tremble and moan for her. It worried her how upset he was. He had never been as scared from a nightmare. His mother begun to worry that if he would be able to get back to sleep. Thankfully, when she told him another story about his father, he finally drifted back into the world of dreams.

Sleep evaded her though. So much ran through her mind. James's nightmare, Lils Resistance, that strange dog, Harry's missing body, and Remus still hadn't shown up yet. For a long time she stared up at the darken ceiling and tried to sort out all she knew. So much had changed in her world in the course of days, and she honestly wasn't sure if she was up to anymore shocking new developments.

Ginny closed her eyes and sighed tiredly, before she nestled closer to James. He mumbled in his sleep, but it seemed to be innocent nonsense. She opened her brown eyes to look through the darkness at her child. 'Is it true? Did you have a vision, James? Are you really so alike to your father, that you share a connection with Voldemort?' It was possibly the worse nightmare she could even hope to dream up. To have her flesh and blood connected with that murderous tyrant made her skin crawl. She sadly ran her fingers along her son's freckled face. "I need help, Harry. I can't protect him alone…" She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to James's. Her fingers curled around his little hands.

Just before the sun began to rise on an active morning for the Lils Resistance, Ginny finally fell into a fitful slumber.

***

"It says here, that thanks to magic, laser technology was able to truly develop." A sixteen-year-old Harry Potter paraphrased from a Muggle Studies' book. The green-eyed teen grinned in amusement. "I had no idea about that… Maybe I should of taken Muggle Studies, huh?" He asked a fifteen-year-old Ginny Weasley.

They were in a small, private room inside St. Mungo. Waning sunlight beamed down through the windowpanes, and caused a patchwork of shadows and light to cover the pair. Large snowflakes floated by the frosted glass. The sounds of an active magical hospital could be heard just outside the door.

Within the lone hospital bed, Ginny was propped up against an army of pillows. Her skin along her jaw and neck was healing from blisters. These were smeared thickly with magical blue gauze. Her forehead and hands were wrapped in layers of white dressing. Her once long auburn hair was hacked short to her scalp, and looked singed on the ends. The worst part of all, was the cross look that was etched deep into her face. The heated gaze chilled the room better then the winter frost outside.

Ginny's brown eyes gouged holes into the far white wall. Whatever the wall had done, had surely not been so severe to bring on this whammy of death stares. She looked like a witch about to get up and declare war on the world. Yet somehow, Harry didn't seem to notice. Instead, he continued to read aloud from Ginny's Muggle Studies book.

Harry suddenly shut the text and placed it on his lap. He reached over to his bag and retrieved a scroll, quill, and some ink. "All right, now for that essay. You tell me, how Witchcraft furthered the development of the Compact Disc. And I'll write it down—"

"Harry?" Ginny cut in, her voice was full of venom. The tone caused the teenage boy to glance up in surprise. The redhead slowly shifted her murderous gaze to Harry. "Why do you keep coming back here?"

"What's that?"

"Why do you keep coming back here, Harry?" Ginny repeated angrily, her brown eyes narrowed. Harry actually cringed under the expression. Regardless, his hands calmly worked open the bottle of ink. He still seemed determined to help her with her homework. The redhead snarled on, "I told you, that I didn't want you all coming around to pity me."

"Who said anything about pitying?" He replied evenly. "Not everything is about feeling sorry for you, Ginny. I just wanted to help you get your class work done, so you don't fall behind. You do want to pass your OWLs, don't you?" He asked.

"What's the point in taking some bloody tests?" She snapped furiously. "I can't even hold my OWN quill!"

"Who says you won't one day?"

"Do you think you're funny?! Is that some kind of joke? You heard what the Healers said! I'm crippled thanks to Voldemort's hex! There's NO counter-curse!" Ginny glared at the green-eyed teen, whom shook his head slowly. She went on before he could argue with her. "And I'm sick of you all feeling you have to come sit with me, all the damn time! I'm not a bloody child!"

"No, you're not." He countered quietly, as he recapped the ink. Ginny watched the smug teen put the inkbottle aside. "But you're behaving like one lately."

So it went back to the silent stare contest, in which she glared and he calmly looked back at her. That composed look was really starting to piss her off. "So what?" She demanded. "You're going to tell me that it's going to be alright? Right?"

"Did you hear me say that?" Harry steadily asked. "No. I didn't say a word."

"You're thinking it."

"How do you know what I'm thinking?"

"I don't have to deal with this!" She exclaimed instead. "Shove off, Harry! You don't understand! You think you do, but you're wrong, all right? You're not the one that can't feel anything from the neck down! Just mind your own damn business! I don't need another ruddy person around to give me these – these daft looks! I don't need more people treating me like glass!" With each stinging word that left her mouth, she could actually see the pain they inflicted on the poor boy. 'Why do I care what he thinks?! I don't!' She thought angrily, and her thought soon found her voice. "We're not even friends, so what makes you believe for a minute, that I care what you think?"

That was a malicious thing to say. Yet, somehow she seemed to be doing a lot of that malicious thing lately. Ginny knew she had gone too far, but it fell out of her mouth before she could stop it. Harry really hadn't done anything to warrant that kind of attack. Neither had anyone else that had visited her. She waited for his reaction to her statement with baited breath. He would jump to his feet any moment, and stomp out of the room. Maybe he might yell at her like Ron had done. Threaten to never come back – which Ron hadn't come back since then. She didn't think Harry would bust into sobs like her mother and flee. Everyone, save for her father and Harry, stop coming. Everyone else didn't have the heart for her ice queen act.

Really, she should have figured after these last five or so visits, that Harry had developed thicker skin. Or maybe Harry knew the game Ginny was playing at, because he had done the same thing up until Christmas. Up until the Earth switch poles and she was the one mad and hindered, and he was the one that was trying to be tolerant and benign.

"Well." Harry begun very calmly, but his eyebrows did twitch. He was really fighting himself not to say something equally nasty back. She knew restraint when she saw it. She half wished he would just say whatever he was thinking. Heaven knows she deserved it. She hated these dark emotions that had possessed her since the Christmas attack. It was worse then with Tom Riddle, at least then she knew it really wasn't her doing these mean things.

"Ginny, just because life really sucks for you right now, doesn't give you the right to be a bloody prat. So, okay," Resentment dribbled into his voice. "You and me, we're not chummy with each other. I'll give you that. But that doesn't change the fact, that I'm worried about you. All right? Is that such a crime?"

"I don't need to be worried about, Harry!"

"Apparently you do. You're acting like a three-year-old suffering a tantrum!"

"I am not!" She screamed back at him. 'Yes! I am! Merlin, listen to me!' She thought angrily at herself. Why couldn't she get her mouth under some kind of control? Why couldn't she calm down? "You just don't get it! You don't—"

"Oh! I know!" His restraint finally snapped. "How could I possibly know what it's like to have my life ruined by Voldemort? I mean, I'm only the Boy Who Lived! I only watched as Voldemort had Cedric murdered! I only got Sirius KILLED! But, hey! What the bloody hell do I know about having my life ruined time and time again? Right?" His green eyes flashed dangerously, as he tore on. "So here's a idea, why don't you just give up, Ginny? Huh? Why don't you just give up, because life is officially over!" He slammed the scroll and quill into his bag, his movements jerky. "You know, I don't get you!" Harry looked at her long and hard, his green eyes narrowed with anger and disappointment. "All this year, you preached to me – to ME! – That there are still things in life worth living for! But that was a load of codswallop, wasn't it? You only said those cruddy words so I'd buck up, right? Can't have Harry moping 'bout, no sir. Hey! I'll feed him a whole bunch of pretty words, so that I can feel better about myself! Well, what a hypocrite!"

Angry tears clouded her brown eyes, and her lips trembled at his numbing words. He had twisted her words and turned them against her. She knew he was right. She was being a hypocrite. "G-get o-out. Now!" She ordered but it lacked its former fire. She was breaking. She didn't want him to be right! She didn't want him to see her break down either! She wouldn't cry in front of him! She wouldn't! "Leave, Harry!" 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He demanded furiously. "You'd liked to go back to your festering! Your writing off the world!" Harry's voice rose in volume, as he slammed the poor Muggle Studies book on the floor. "Well! You can just forget it, Ginny Weasley. I'm not leaving until I want to. All right? You're stuck with me. So you should bloody-well get use to it."

"I don't want you here!" Ginny shouted back. She knew Harry only stayed out of guilt. She knew it. He knew it. Why wouldn't he just leave? She didn't blame him for what happened. Why couldn't he get it through his thick skull?

"I don't ruddy-well care at this point, Ginny." The dark haired teen snarled back. "Look at you! You're pushing everyone away! You've given up! Why? I thought you were a fighter! I thought you were the same girl that took on Voldemort just this Christmas!"

Again, Harry's eyes flicked with something besides anger. Guilt. Ginny's stomach dropped out and she felt sick. That was possibly worse then all the pitiful looks she had been receiving from her family. To see those green eyes dull with a painful knowledge that it was his fault – even if indirectly – that she was here. If only Harry had been mentally stronger, maybe Voldemort would not have been able to act through him… Maybe Ginny wouldn't be in this bed, paralyzed.

Harry pulled himself together right in front of her. She had to give him props. Truly, she had figured he wouldn't be able to face her. Hermione had told her that, when Harry had awoken days after the attack and found out what had happened… He suffered a meltdown. Hermione had also said, that Ron and Harry had gotten into numerous vicious and sometimes violent rows. Her brother hadn't wanted his best mate to blame himself, but Harry was stubborn and wouldn't hear of it. There was still an uneasiness about the boys' friendship even after Ginny had awoken from her coma.

"But I guess that was all rubbish," Harry caught her attention again. "Wasn't it? It was just an act, huh?"

"I…" That actually stung worse then anything else. 'An act?! I saved his life! I took a chance to save him for once, and it was just AN ACT?!' She thought, truly offended. He had just condemned the returning of her life debt?! Ginny had always wanted to help Harry anyway she could. That need had bloomed from the moment she had heard of the Boy Who Lived. To have it later grow into almost an obsession when Harry saved her in the Chamber of Secrets. Only now that she was older and had banished her hero worship, could she finally repay the favor.

And had she ever returned it! So brave and strong she had been when Harry needed her most. She had leapt to the challenge, figuratively and literally! Held the possessed boy down, and stood up to Tom like she had always dreamt of doing! It had been her finest moment! And now, this little ungrateful twat had just taken the beautiful memory and spit on it! She was so upset she couldn't even get her miffed feelings into words. "I didn't – I! YOU!"

"Well, that's just fantastic." He groused crossly. "Voldemort must be buggered, outmatched by a fraud!"

Ginny's heart thudded wildly within her chest plate. Again tears tried to claim her, but again she fought hard to keep them in check. She couldn't believe she let Harry get to her. "GO AWAY!"

"No, I won't!" Harry snapped back just as fiercely. There was a strange glint that took his green eyes. It was powerful and unexplainable. All she knew was that it made her insides quiver. The dark haired teen leaned forward and took her unresponsive hand into his. Ginny wished beyond anything that she could take the stolen limb back. She wished to Merlin, she could simply turn away from him.

'Why! Why does he have to notice me now?! For years I wanted him to notice! For years I prayed he'd noticed that I exist! For years I begged that Harry would notice I wasn't just Ron's little sister! I would of given anything in this world for him to just care a LITTLE about me! A fraction of what I care for him! Now he FINALLY sees me as Ginny?! Now I'm not Ron's little sister? Now I'm not another Weasley? I'm finally just Ginny! Now he has to actually give a bloody damn?! Now he feels sorry for me?! Now he pledges to stay by my side?! Why the bloody hell NOW?! Just because he feels this is all his fault! That's why! That's the only reason WHY! That's the only reason he would ever notice me!'  The redhead thought miserably. She hated it. She hated him. Even worse she hated herself for hating him.

"You may have given up on you, Ginny. But I'll be damn if I give up on you too."

"You're a real sucker for the hopeless causes, aren't you, Potter?" She said bitterly. "I don't want you to be here just because you somehow feel obligated! Just because you figure you have to right some damn wrong! Just because you couldn't be bothered to practice Occlumency even after everyone told you to. Just because you couldn't handle Voldemort and I was the one that got hurt!" Her mouth snapped shut, her eyes widen in self-horror.

She had just blatantly placed blame on him.

Ginny didn't miss how Harry's face crumpled. Why should she be allowed to? This was her punishment. She was forced to watch, as his eyes switched from vivid anger to deaden remorse. He blinked furiously, as his green eyes suddenly could not meet hers. His posture immediately slouched. The teen's hands released hers and returned to his lap. His face paled sickly white, while his lips turned a little blue. He wasn't breathing!

'No, no, no! What IS wrong with me?! How could I say that?! I don't mean it, Harry! MERLIN, I don't mean it! Say you're sorry! Beg for his forgiveness, you cruel cow! Take it back! TAKE THOSE VILE WORDS BACK!' She screamed at herself. Her heart hammered wildly within her chest, so erratically that she thought she'd have a heart attack. Her stomach swirled and flipped, suddenly she was struck with the will to throw up. Shameful tears rose into her eyes, and this time Ginny couldn't fight them.

"Harry," She tried, as hot tears burned down her cheeks. "I'm… I didn't…" But he didn't wait for her to finish. Instead he pushed back from Ginny, his chair scraped thunderously across the floor. His eyes were wide and wounded. He refused to look at her. Harry shook himself before he jerked to his feet. The redhead knew he was going to leave and never come back.

'I'm so, so sorry, Harry. WHY can't I say it! Why can't I apologize?!'

Ginny Weasley closed her tear-filled eyes. She couldn't watch what came next. She wouldn't watch him walk out of the room and never come back. She heard Harry's footsteps move away from her bed, and then just the muted sounds of St. Mungo. He was gone. That was it. She had finally gotten her way.

She bit her tongue. The bitter taste of blood flooded Ginny's mouth. She didn't care if she bit it clear off! She wished she were mute! It would save everyone a lot of pain! How could she be so cruel?

"What do you see yourself doing in ten years, Ginny?"

'No. That can't be… He's gone. Harry left! He had to HAVE left! He can't possibly be that forgiving! I would of left! He should have left! He's not here! I'm imagining things!' She thought frantically, but still a swirl of hope rose in her heart. Her eyes snapped opened. Harry Potter hadn't left the room. Instead, that beautifully determined hero stood by the window. His eyes locked on the snowflakes that continued to float down from heaven. His face was completely calm; nothing like it had been a moment before.

Ginny stared over at him in admiration. "What?" She asked dumbly. The witch watched him turn very slowly. His green eyes locked with hers again. Ginny felt as if he had reached into her and plucked her heart's strings.

"In ten years, where will you be?"

The redhead swallowed hard and glanced to the side, but didn't answer. How could she answer that? Wasn't it obvious where she would be? In some bed completely miserable and all alone. Ginny's anger leaped up into her throat. "What are you getting at?!"

"What I'm getting at, is, Ginny, where will you be in ten years? It's not that hard of a question," He quipped. He smiled faintly, as he returned his stare to the window. "Me? I think I'll be an Auror. Then again, I'm not sure. I discovered I like teaching, thanks to DA meetings… Maybe I'll teach for a while…" He actually saw himself alive ten years from now. She knew that was a vast improvement over his mood the previous summer. Regardless of her present state, her heart warmed. Harry was learning to live. "Maybe I'll be married, even. Two or three kids and a little house." Harry looked at her thoughtfully. "Now… Where will you be, Ginny?"

"I don't know."

"I know one place you won't be." Harry told her firmly. "You won't be here. You won't be in this damn bed! You won't be in St. Mungo feeling sorry for yourself! You're going to get through this, Ginny. You're going to go back to Hogwarts. You're going to graduate within your class and live your life. Even if I have to drag your arse every step of the way."

She couldn't help it. Maybe it was the resolve in his voice, or maybe it was because the way he looked at her. As if he believed, no, knew this was what she would do. Whatever it was about Harry Potter, it broke through the ice queen and revived the Ginny Weasley she was. For the first time since Christmas, a smile moved over her face. Her face muscles seem to rejoice at the change in expression. She hadn't realized that the constant scowl hurt so much… The smile almost eased into an amused grin, as she noted Harry's change. His green eyes sparkled in return, as he realized he had won. He had broken through to her.

"Harry…" She swallowed hard. She had to apologize. How could she not apologize to this wonderful person that believed in her? "I'm… I'm sorry… I didn't mean it. It wasn't your fault what happened… I know that. Merlin, I know that. I don't blame you. Really, I don't." She knew that sounded dreadfully inadequate. Ginny continued to blab on stupidly. "I don't know why I said that! I just… I'm just really out of sorts lately… I can't seem to say anything right, and I end up saying these awful things that I don't mean… And I… I'm such a cow. I hate this, I can't even apologize right!" The witch angrily cried, as she closed her eyes. She sniffled and tried to get a hold of herself. "I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Ginny," Harry came and sat on her bedside. His hands unconsciously reached over and brushed her tear tracks away. He smiled faintly, as he bowed his head to look into her eyes. "I get that, Ginny. Really, I do. Remember, I said some nasty things too. I didn't mean them either." He told her firmly, as his hands fell to her shoulders. A heartwarming shine entered his green irises. "You don't know how thankful I am, that you stopped Voldemort. You saved me and everyone else on Christmas. I could of…" He trailed off, as again a haunted look came to his eyes. "Well… I'm sorry too."

"Sorry? You're sorry?" She hiccupped slightly and pulled a face. "Why? Harry, everything you said is true… And I… Merlin! I've been such a bitch to you, and everyone else! Everyone hates me… It's no wonder why…"

"No one hates you, Ginny. How could you think that?" Harry whispered in alarm. "Your family loves you. They're just hurting because you're hurting, Ginny. They want to help you so much. Hermione, Neville and Luna, all want to help you… I want to help you, Gin. And we will if you just let us."

She tipped her head to look at him. Ginny sniffled again and asked, "But why? I've been horrible."

"Because." Harry answered. "Ginny, we care about you. How could you think any differently?" Her eyes lifted to stare searchingly into his. "We want to help, but you have to let us." The redhead looked at Harry long and hard. She only saw the same determination and will to truly help her. Very slowly she allowed her fears to fade.

"Well… Almost all of us, I don't know about the twins." He began in an amused way. "Just the other day they told me, that since they have your undivided attention, they're going to take advantage of it." His eyebrows wiggled suggestively at her. That wiggle coupled with the idea of the twins using her as a test subject, was all she could stand. Laughter bubbled up her tight throat. Harry's green eyes glowed under the sound, and an easy grin moved over his face again.

"We'll get you through this, Ginny." He told her in all seriousness. "Just promise me that you won't let him win. Promise me, that you'll fight this like everything else? Alright?" His voice was filled with such strong resolution and hope, that Ginny begun to believe it was possible. As she stared across the bed into his bright green eyes, she felt her heart warm under his attentive stare.

Maybe she would walk again, and even if she didn't, it would be all right. She wasn't alone. She wouldn't be abandon. Suddenly she wanted to be exactly, who he thought she was. She wanted to be worthy of the Gryffindor house. She wanted it so badly that she could taste it.

"Promise?"

"I promise, Harry."

Now, a twenty-one-year-old Ginny awoke slowly and peered up at a ivory ceiling. St. Mungo was replaced with the soft sounds of Lils Inn. Another dream, another reminder of Harry. The redhead blinked her blurry vision and rubbed at her eyes. Again she dreamt of her late lover, it must be because of circumstances. Still, it reopened that wound within her soul. So many had died in this war, how many more must die?

"Mum! Breakfast!" James's voice came from outside the bedroom. Ginny watched her son sprint into the open room. He ran up and sprung on the bed. Her transfigured-redhead-son clamored up to her. He hugged Ginny tightly, before he asked, "Mum, you awright?"

"Why, love?"

"You look sad today."

"Hush now. I'm all right. See?"

"Good!" James cried with a grin before he tugged at her hands. "Uncle Ron made French Toast today! It wasn't so good… Aunt Hermione tried to make some eggs, but they got all burnt and filled the inn with smoke!" His nose twisted in disgust, as he explained. "Then Uncle George slipped the burnt eggs into Uncle Ron's coffee, and he got SO mad! He didn't notice till it was too late!" He paused to laugh there. "So Uncle Ron dumped syrup on Uncle George, and then he got mad too! Then Aunt Hermione got mad and they started to shout, but Uncle George made it worse, cause he put Uncle Ron in a headlock! And Aunt Hermione screamed at them to stop. And…" He continued to update her on the morning events, and Ginny felt her mood lighten at the craziness of her family. "Hey, mum?"

"Yes?"

"You cook way better!"

Ginny laughed and ran her fingers through his black hair. "Thank you, Jamie… Are you feeling better today?" He bobbed his head happily; right back to his old self. "Yeah! Uncle George says that Lils will be back later, I can't wait!"

"Yes, I'd imagined not."

"Come on, mum! Breakfast! Breakfast!" He tugged at Ginny's hands.

"Alright, alright. Let me put on my disguise first." She took out her wand and cast a quick transfiguration spell on herself. Again she returned to the elder woman. Her son eyed her new form with distaste, and then shook his head. "You're old again!" She laughed before she allowed her son to tug her out of the room.

They headed towards the kitchen, when the bell above the front door gave a soft chime. Another costumer had entered Lils Inn. Ginny glanced over and hit a dead stop. Her brown eyes widen and her mouth dropped open. 'No. It can't be!' She thought, as all the color rushed out of her face.

In the doorway, a weary looking traveler staggered into Lils. He looked out of place in the warm lobby of the inn. He was covered in layers of dirt, sweat and blood. The elder man shuttered violently, due to blood lost. His clothing was tattered, and hung loosely on his frame. His gray hair was tangled, and bits of leaves and twigs were snarled in it. In spite of this, Ginny recognized his blue-green eyes in a heartbeat. "Remus!"

***

TBC…

Whoo hoo… For those missing the action, sit tight. Things are about to heat up pretty soon. And I promise everything really is happening for a reason. I only ask that you be patient with me. :)