Disclaimer: Evangelion: Neon Genesis is not owned by me, it's owned by GAINAX. This fanfic cannot be distributed without the clear, explicit consent of the author (me). No profit has been made from this piece.
Author's Note: Some of you might be wonder as to why I haven't been working on it. To be honest, I've kinda lost interest. I've just finished my finals and memorizing a bunch of shit like the Definition of Dialectic Materialism (Dialectic Materialism is the philosophy of Karl Marx, which he formulated by taking the Dialectic of Hegel and joining it with the Materialism of Feuerback, extracting from it a concept of progress in terms of the contradictory, etc...), and I just need something to do while I listen to my music... Some people say that the best authors are those who had a troubled life. Maybe they're right, and that would certainly explain why I'm currently not in the mood for writing. I probably shouldn't stay up until what will probably be around 1:30 on a Sunday night doing this, but oh hell - I'm used to it. My sleep schedule is already skewed anyways.
Shinji sat on the bench in the locker room. He still hadn't undressed and changed yet. He was leaning forward, with his head in his hands, eyes glazed over.
"Rei..." he whispered.
Shinji didn't even notice the hand on his shoulder as it squeezed it tightly. Kaworu sat down besides him, and moved his hand around his neck. He leaned on Shinji, breathing softly on his neck.
"Don't blame yourself... There was nothing you could do." said Kaworu, trying to comfort him.
"Rei..." continued Shinji, not taking notice." I... I'm sorry... I tried... But I couldn't do anything... I - I'm so sorry Rei, this is all my fault! I'm useless!" cried Shinji as he buried his face in his hands, sobbing pathetically.
Kaworu just looked on anxiously. He gave Shinji a reassuring pat on his back, then walked out silently.
************
Ritsuko stood at the site of the battle that had just taken place. Trees around the area were leveled by the shockwave; some were even vaporized by the explosion. Pieces of blackened metal were strewn all over the place, and the heat in the air could still be felt. Unit-00's remains laid on the ground, motionless. A technician with a clipboard stood in front of Ritsuko, who was smoking. The technician said something, and then Ritsuko dismissed him with a wave of her hand. Ritsuko looked up towards the sky and then back down, contemplating what had just happened. She took out a cell phone, and hit the speed dial. Somebody answered on the first ring.
"It's as we expected..."
"Understood." came the reply.
************
There was a knock on the door. Shinji didn't bother getting up to respond. The rapping sound continued.
"Go away." he said flatly, without a trace of emotion in his voice.
"Shinji? It's me, Misato. Are you ok?"
Shinji didn't respond - he just slumped against the wall, curled up in a fetal position.
"Can I come in?"
Again, no response.
"I wish she'd just go away... I wish everybody would just go away..."
"Shinji, I'm coming in now." Misato said as she opened the unlocked door and stepped in. What she found was an uncharacteristically bare and sterile house, enveloped by the darkness.
"Shinji," said Misato firmly, "What happened today wasn't your fau-"
"The hell it wasn't." he whispered. Misato was silent, waiting for him to say more.
"I - I'm useless. I'm worthless. I can't do anything!" he choked, "I couldn't even save Rei!"
"Shit. I forgot to tell him." said an inner Misato.
"Shinj-"
"Don't say anything! Just - Just leave me alone."
Misato tried once again. "Shi-"
"GO AWAY! I DON'T DESERVE ANYBODY'S PITY!" he shouted.
"Just let me finish! Rei isn't dead, she's -"
"She's not dead? WHERE?"
"As I was saying," continued Misato, "she was severely injured, but she should make it. She's at the hospital now."
"Cou - could I see her?" asked Shinji, almost begging.
Misato hesitated for a moment. Rei was still unconscious and wrapped up in bandages. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to...
"Sure." she said, almost surprising herself with her quick response.
"Now?" asked Shinji, hopefully.
"Yes." replied Misato, startling herself once again.
************
"Hey." said Kaworu as he walked into the Misato residence.
"Hi!" said Asuka, seemingly cheerful.
Kaworu was taken aback by Asuka's unexpectedly positive demeanor for a moment.
"I guess everybody reacts to stress differently..."
"Is Misato home?"
"No..." said Asuka slowly, temporarily lapsing in her joyful attitude, "she went to see Shinji."
"Oh. Um, so, had dinner yet?" inquired Kaworu. For once, he didn't quite know what to say. He expected having to comfort Asuka after what happened earlier, but obviously, the situation was unforeseen.
"No, not yet." she responded, quickly regaining her pleasant tone. "I was waiting for you."
"You shouldn't have." Kaworu gave a slight smile. Or tried to. "I'll prepare the leftovers..."
"Ok! I'll help!"
As the duo prepared their dinner, Kaworu stole glances at Asuka. She seemed to be blanking out as she set the table, lost in thought.
"Asuka?" asked Kaworu politely.
"Ah! Sorry!" said Asuka as she jolted back into existence.
The two had a quick dinner, punctuated by mostly unsuccessful attempts to make conversation on Kaworu's part and the noise of eating. After dinner, they dumped the plates into the sink, and quickly found themselves lying on the couch, watching TV. Kaworu was sideways, and Asuka was leaning against the hand rest. The news reported sold the story of the explosion of Unit-00 with an elaborate explanation about how some munitions storage area detonated due to a combination of poor maintenance and human error. They had even brought in supposedly military experts to assess the risks and talk about it could be prevented in the future. During the whole time, Asuka still wore the blank face she had when she was setting the table.
"Asuka?"
"Hmm?"
"You know, if you ever need anybody to talk to..."
"I'm fine." she said brusquely.
"No you're not - but you'll get better."
Asuka responded with silence.
"You know," Kaworu continued, "You won't get bette-"
"Just stop talking. Please." said Asuka, almost pleading.
"I'm sorry." said Kaworu. He stood up and began to walk away, but then Asuka grabbed his wrist. Kaworu turned around and faced her, slightly puzzled. Asuka quickly let go and looked away, trying to act as though nothing happened. He rethought his actions, and sat back down next to Asuka, who stared at the screen. Time passed slowly. He inched towards Asuka slowly, and leaned on her slightly. He could feel Asuka's body tense up suddenly, then relax. He took this as a signal that it was alright with her, and put a little more weight on her. Asuka also leaned towards Kaworu a little. Then the door suddenly opened, and Misato stepped in. Both Asuka and Kaworu instinctively moved away from each other. Misato gave no sign of seeing what had just happened. She sauntered over next to them, and fixed her eyes on the TV, which was now playing some drama show with a complex love pentagon. Misato gave a loud yawn.
"You guys, I already had dinner outside. I'm exhausted, I'm going to take a shower then sleep... Don't stay up too late."
Kaworu nodded slightly. Misato then walked off to have a shower. Kaworu and Asuka returned to their previous distance between them. Hours went by, and neither of them had said a word. Asuka was now resting in Kaworu's arms, which wrapped around her body. Judging by the pace of her breathing, it seemed as though she had already fallen asleep. Kaworu could feel his eyelids becoming heavy, and the urge to close his eyes soon overwhelmed him. He was considering his plans as he slowly fell asleep...
Author's Notes: Is Rei really dead? If I were a bit more sadistic, I'd leave you wondering, but the answer is yes. She died; the clone is already in place. Sorry if it seems like the plotline is jumping around erratically - I kinda started this with only an ending in mind, and am literally making most of it up as I go along. And man, I had to resist the urge to insert dialogue in Japanese so many times... I'd add in a Kaworu/Shinji yaoi scene, except that I'm a heterosexual male, so that doesn't exactly interest me. By maybe a Rei/Asuka one might do. Just kidding. Really. If somebody submits a decent one, I might add it in an omake as a joke =p Why am I even ranting down this avenue? Because I just skimmed through the FF section for Naruto (Again, for some odd reason - Why I keep torturing myself, I don't know), and Jesus fucking Christ, I swear that literally 1/2 of the fanficts there are yaoi... Its past 2, and I should get some sleep. Now only if I had an Asuka to fall asleep in my arms...
