Chapter Three:
When Ellie walks into the Doctor James' office a week later she seems to be in better spirits, "hello doctor."
"Hello Ellie."
"You seem to be doing well today." Doctor James comments.
Ellie nods, "I actually called my best-friend from school, Ashley. We had a long talk, she wants to see me when I get out of here."
"Good, I think it will be good for you to get back in contact with old friends when you get out of here." As silence consumes the two Doctor James finally states, "you may began whenever you want."
Ellie nods.
I figured after what I had said to Sean he would not show up at that meeting again, I hadn't actually ended on being so harsh...not the point...but he didn't change meetings or anything. So the next week I was actually relieved. That's not to saw we spoke a lot, exchanged greetings and whatever after each meeting, maybe even share words of encouragement but we weren't friends by any means. At school, in the halls, we treated each other as if we didn't exist our mutual friends had nothing to do with each other anymore so we had nothing to say to each other in school.
We made it a month into our weekly meetings before anyone even realized something was up. And once again it was Paige who got in the middle of my business, I'm not blaming her I'm just stating the facts. She'd seen me hug Sean after a particularly difficult meeting for both os us and the next Monday in school she absolutely had to know what was going on between me and Sean.
I honestly had no idea what to tell her. I'm not a liar, or at least not a flat out make up a lie and tell it to someone. I did spent most of that year lie simply by omitting about 90% of everything to anyone who even cared about me slightly. But if you knew Paige you knew that if she thought she was into some juicy gossip she would sink her claws into you and not let you go until she had at least a morsel of anything, fact or not.
She was actually the one who brought up the me and Sean dating thing. I had no idea what else to say so I just kind of shrugged and Paige had enough information to go with. She didn't need to know anything, that shrug had said enough, or at least enough for her. For the whole thirty seconds after, when my heart was pounding and I was shaking slightly, did I mention I don't like to have my secrets revealed, I didn't even think about the fact that this would spread like wildfires now that I had given Paige juicy gossip. It wasn't until nearly a minute after Paige took off that I realized that I may very well have destroyed both Sean and I. Just not in the way it ended up being.
I figured it would be something like teenage mockery. Teenagers are not pleasant creatures by any means and if everyone in school got hold of the fact that I, the class overachiever/outcast/last boyfriend turned gay, was dating the class troublemaker there was going to be talk.
Part of me didn't even care after that because all I knew was that the attention was taken off the truth and focused on a lie. And the other part of me did care because I'd dragged Sean into this without actually meaning to.
"Ellie I hate to stop you there." Doctor James cuts in. "But our time is almost up."
Ellie nods, "I guess I'm done anyway. I feel like I'm writing a book though with writers block, I know exactly what I want and need to say but I don't know how to say it."
"You can't be pushed by these self appointed time constraints." Doctor James urges.
"I know." Ellie nods.
"What exactly is it that is so important."
Ellie shakes her head, "I'll get there, soon."
"Take your time." Doctor James states.
When Ellie walks into the Doctor James' office a week later she seems to be in better spirits, "hello doctor."
"Hello Ellie."
"You seem to be doing well today." Doctor James comments.
Ellie nods, "I actually called my best-friend from school, Ashley. We had a long talk, she wants to see me when I get out of here."
"Good, I think it will be good for you to get back in contact with old friends when you get out of here." As silence consumes the two Doctor James finally states, "you may began whenever you want."
Ellie nods.
I figured after what I had said to Sean he would not show up at that meeting again, I hadn't actually ended on being so harsh...not the point...but he didn't change meetings or anything. So the next week I was actually relieved. That's not to saw we spoke a lot, exchanged greetings and whatever after each meeting, maybe even share words of encouragement but we weren't friends by any means. At school, in the halls, we treated each other as if we didn't exist our mutual friends had nothing to do with each other anymore so we had nothing to say to each other in school.
We made it a month into our weekly meetings before anyone even realized something was up. And once again it was Paige who got in the middle of my business, I'm not blaming her I'm just stating the facts. She'd seen me hug Sean after a particularly difficult meeting for both os us and the next Monday in school she absolutely had to know what was going on between me and Sean.
I honestly had no idea what to tell her. I'm not a liar, or at least not a flat out make up a lie and tell it to someone. I did spent most of that year lie simply by omitting about 90% of everything to anyone who even cared about me slightly. But if you knew Paige you knew that if she thought she was into some juicy gossip she would sink her claws into you and not let you go until she had at least a morsel of anything, fact or not.
She was actually the one who brought up the me and Sean dating thing. I had no idea what else to say so I just kind of shrugged and Paige had enough information to go with. She didn't need to know anything, that shrug had said enough, or at least enough for her. For the whole thirty seconds after, when my heart was pounding and I was shaking slightly, did I mention I don't like to have my secrets revealed, I didn't even think about the fact that this would spread like wildfires now that I had given Paige juicy gossip. It wasn't until nearly a minute after Paige took off that I realized that I may very well have destroyed both Sean and I. Just not in the way it ended up being.
I figured it would be something like teenage mockery. Teenagers are not pleasant creatures by any means and if everyone in school got hold of the fact that I, the class overachiever/outcast/last boyfriend turned gay, was dating the class troublemaker there was going to be talk.
Part of me didn't even care after that because all I knew was that the attention was taken off the truth and focused on a lie. And the other part of me did care because I'd dragged Sean into this without actually meaning to.
"Ellie I hate to stop you there." Doctor James cuts in. "But our time is almost up."
Ellie nods, "I guess I'm done anyway. I feel like I'm writing a book though with writers block, I know exactly what I want and need to say but I don't know how to say it."
"You can't be pushed by these self appointed time constraints." Doctor James urges.
"I know." Ellie nods.
"What exactly is it that is so important."
Ellie shakes her head, "I'll get there, soon."
"Take your time." Doctor James states.
