Chapter Six

The next week when Ellie walked into Doctor James' office she looked tired and worn out, as if she hadn't slept.

"Are you all right?" Doctor James inquires.

Ellie shrugs, "I dreamt about Sean last night, before things were bad, and I couldn't go back to sleep."

"We can cancel today's therapy session." Doctor James offers.

Ellie shakes her head, "today's not a painful thought, it makes me smile to think about it, because we were having fun."

"All right." Doctor James nods before Ellie begins.

By the end of that week everyone at Degrassi knew that we were dating. The school wasn't that big so it didn't take long for word to get around the school. People were slightly shocked, Sean had been hanging out with a bad group of friends...

Ellie shudders before continuing.

...so everyone pretty much was shocked to find me going out with someone who was pretty much a troublemaker. But by the end of the week we were being roped into doing things couples were expected to do, like going out on dates. Craig was someone Sean had known since they both moved to Degrassi about the same time they were pretty good friends, or at least they had been until Sean started hanging out with...other people. Craig had also dating my best friend Ashley earlier that year, until he cheated on her, but he decided that he wanted Ashley back. To keep up appearances we ate lunch together that Friday and that's when Craig came up to us wanted to know if would go out with him and Ashley. He wanted things to go back to normal with the two of them but Ashley refused to spend any time alone time with him until she figured out if she could still even tolerate him. Neither one of us really wanted to go, I particularly was afraid that they would figured out our secret but Craig ended up convincing us to go with them. I started to apologize to Sean as soon as Craig left, Ashley and Craig weren't exactly his scene, but Sean seemed to figured out what I was apologizing for right away and he stopped me from even finishing the apology with the statement, "we're dating right?"

Sean actually surprised me that day, 10 minutes before I had planned on leaving Sean showed up at my house. He said we should walk together, make it look like we were actually dating and we ended up walking to The Dot, where we were meeting, holding hands.

"How do you think you were feeling for Sean then?" Doctor James asks once Ellie has made it clear that she is finished speaking.

"I liked him." Ellie states, "I really did. I also think I was sort of entranced by him, I had really never met anyone like him before. When I dated Marco our relationship was a lie too, but with Sean it didn't feel like we were lying. It felt like we were actually dating, unlike with Marco who I always felt so guilty even being around. I think it was because I felt bad because I was helping Marco lie to himself, but with Sean we were actually able to be ourselves. We actually managed to talk the entire way to the Dot, something Marco and I hadn't been able to do for a long time."

"It sounds like you and Sean had the makings of a good relationship."

Ellie bites her lip and saying no more on that topic she states, "I don't want to talk anymore. I think I'm going to try to get some sleep."