Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.

AN: Yes, I'm gonna say it again…. DOGMA FANS PLEAZ DON'T KILL ME WHEN YOU NOTICE THAT THE PLOT IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT IN SOME PLACES……..like this one….for instance…….

Chapter Three

*Already Dead*

What the HELL is going on??!! She thought frantically.

All she could remember was pain, red-hot searing pain, and then blackness. Now she was here, and she would be damned if she knew where here was.

Looking down at herself she was surprised to see that her clothes weren't torn anymore, and there was no blood anywhere.

Blood? What…………? Where'd it all go? There was so much……

She gulped and her hands fluttered to her throat. Nope, no knife mark there, not even a scratch.

And suddenly, she looked up.

"What the fuck is that……..?" She whispered to herself.

"Gates," a voice with a slight English accent said beside her, "THE gates, to be more precise."

She jumped, startled by the voice.

"Who're you?" She asked, turning and becoming confused as to why she couldn't see the owner of the voice.

"Behold Metatron, herald of the almighty and voice of the one true god," the voice said, becoming loud and dramatic.

The girl stared in surprise as a fireball appeared, then disappeared and in its place there was a middle-aged man in a nice suit.

"What are you?" She asked in bewilderment.

"Like I said," the man spoke, "I am the Metatron."

She gave him a blank stare.

The Metatron looked at her dumbfounded, saying, "Metatron. Don't tell me you've never heard of the Metatron!"

The girl shook her head slowly.

The Metatron sighed angrily, "You humans!" He grumbled, "If it's not in a flicker then it's not worth knowing, right?"

"I'm a seraphim," he said, hoping that would provide a bit more of an explanation, "The highest choir of angels? You do know what an angel is, don't you?"

She nodded slightly.

"Metatron acts as the voice of god. Any documented occasion where some nut claims to have spoken with god, they're speaking to me," he paused, "Or they're speaking to themselves," he added as an afterthought.

The girl cleared her throat, and asked in a small voice, "Why can't god speak for himself?"

"Ah. So glad you decided to join the conversation," Metatron said sarcastically, "To answer that - human beings have neither the oral nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, you're mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adam's before we figured that one out."

"Are you going to kill me?" She squeaked.

Metatron rolled his eyes, "Now wouldn't that be interesting."

"Why?" Questioned the girl in a scared and confused voice.

Metatron stared at her for a moment out of disbelief before saying simply, "You're already dead."

AN: ooooooo…plot twist that's different from dogma……….don't hurt me please!!! Think of it this way: it'll be more interesting to read if it's not EXACTLY the same as dogma, since most of y'all have already seen it! Review pretty please!

Comments:

Rayne: Eep! You've discovered my terrible secret….I don't KNOW who the prophets are gonna be yet! Lol……….I'm having trouble figuring out which original characters to keep and which ones to change………

Cards: Yay Review!! *huggles Cards*…..lol……..j/k…..yeah…..i'm pretty sure that spot's gonna live…….but I don't really know yet……..

Sully: Thanks!

Mondie: Yes yes, I'm VERY sure that's what you'd make Mush……..LOL…….and sorry, no brownie points this time around!!! Guess again!! Hee hee…….

Blinks-Tiger: Isn't it great when he says to the girl "But you didn't say god bless you when I sneezed!!!!"? wahahahaha! Sorry…..i WUV that part…….dunno who blink's gonna be yet, sorry!!!