Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.

AN: Alright, if y'all hadn't noticed, I'm trying to write longer chapters here, so I hope you all like these better than my normal ½ page ones!! Lol, now watch this….the next chapter's gonna be a short one…….*cough* but it's longer than half a page, I swear!!

Chapter Four

*Worse*

"What?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

It was one of those moments where your heart's beating so loud you're sure that they can hear it a mile away. Only one problem………..She didn't have a heart beat………

Metatron sighed in annoyance. Here it comes. The waterworks. Must they ALL go into hysterics?

"Dead. You're dead. Can I make it anymore clear?" Metatron asked in a bored tone.

She shook her head in disbelief.

"Alright then, follow me."

They approached the gates, and off to the side of them stood an ancient looking man with an impressively large book.

"Name," the man said without even looking up.

She stared at him for a moment until Metatron nudged her in the side and she cleared her throat before saying, "Tori Caladron."

The old man flipped open the book and scanned up and down a page. He pointed to a spot on the page and nodded in a satisfactory way.

Then he nodded to Metatron and went back to perusing through the books many pages.

"What just happened?" Tori asked Metatron.

"Just making sure that you're on the list, that's all," Metatron explained.

"And if I wasn't?"

Metatron coughed slightly, "Take a wild guess," he said, glancing not-so-subtly to the ground.

Tori gulped.

"Anyway," Metatron said, "You are, so now it's time to get down to business."

"Wait a sec, what?" Tara asked, holding up her hands, "I'm on the list! Now aren't the gates supposed to open and let me in?!"

"No," said Metatron matter-a-factly, "A new angel must earn his or her wings."

Tori gaped at him, dumbfounded.

"Excuse me?" She squeaked.

"And you've been called for a particularly lovely mission," Metatron said cheerfully.

"Called how? How called?" Tori rambled senselessly.

"All that from two words," Metatron snorted, "Color this angel impressed."

"How do I know that you're really an angel?" Tori asked angrily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What, you mean besides the fiery entrance, golden gates, St. Peter over here," Metatron jerked his thumb in the old man's direction, "And the expansive wingspan?" He spread his wings wide as if to prove his point.

"Fine," Metatron said after a moment of silence, "You want more proof? How about tequila?"

Before Tori had a chance to ask what the heck that was supposed to mean, Metatron had snapped her fingers and they were seated in a small Hispanic looking restaurant.

"Where the hell are we?" Tori exclaimed.

"The only place to go for a good tequila," Metatron said casually, and, upon seeing a waiter he said, "Waiter! Dos tequilas por favor, and an empty glass!"

"Si," the waiter responded as he scurried off to get Metatron's order.

"We're in Mexico???!!!" Tori hissed at him.

Metatron answered after the waiter brought the drinks, "California. But it was still an impressive trick."

"You don't mind that I lost the wings, do you?" Metatron asked, "I'm trying to keep our profile low."

"This is the weirdest dream I've ever had……." Tori mumbled, hitting her forehead.

"Do you know how insulting it is to converse with a person and have them insist that you're a dream?" Metatron asked sarcastically, "If I had an ego, it'd be bruised."

"So what is this 'mission' that I've been charged with?" Tori asked a moment later.

"All you have to do is go to New Jersey and visit a small church on a very important day. Agreed?"

Metatron took a sip of the tequila and spit it into the empty glass.

"That doesn't sound like an important mission………" Tori said skeptically.

"Well, aside from the fine print, that's it," Metatron said, before drinking more tequila and spitting it out again.

"What's the fine print?" Tori asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

"Stopacoupleofangelsfromenteringachurchthusnegatingallexistence," mumbled Metatron, "Damn this is good tequila."

Tori raised her eyebrows at him, "Wait! Repeat that!!"

"Damn this is good tequila?" Metatron asked stupidly, in an effort to avoid the topic.

"No," Tori said angrily, "The first part!"

"Details," Metatron said while waving his hand in a dismissive manner, "Stop a couple of angels from entering the church thus negating all existence. God, I hate it when people need it spelled out for them."

"I'm still confused," Tori groaned, letting her head fall onto her arms, which were resting on the table.

"Alright," Metatron said, "You want the whole secret origin? Here goes: Back in the old days, God was vengeful and hot-tempered, and his wrath was born by the Angel of Death - name of Spot. When Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed? That was Spot. When the waters wiped out everything with the exception of Noah and his menagerie? That was Spot. And he was good at what he did. But one day, he refused to bear God's wrath any longer."

"Why?" Asked Tori curiously.

Metatron sighed, "Because he listened to his friend- a Grigori by the name of Jack."

"Grigori?" Tori asked, shaking her head.

This is too confusing!!!!! She thought to herself.

"Not it's not," Metatron snapped.

She stared at him in amazement.

"What?! Don't think so loud!" Metatron exclaimed, "Anyway, Grigori is another choir of angels. They're also called watchers. Guess what they do?"

Tori glared at him.

"So, back to the subject, one day Spot is wiping out the first born of Egypt and-"

"Ah, the tenth plague," Tori said knowledgeably.

"See?!" Metatron said, throwing his hands in the air, "Tell people you're the Metatron and they stare blankly; Mention something they learned in pre-school and suddenly everyone's a theology scholar. May I continue uninterrupted?"

"Yes," Tori spoke through her teeth.

"So," Metatron started, "Once he's done with the first born, Spot takes his friend Jack out for a post-slaughter drink. And over many rounds, they get into this discussion about whether or not murder in the name of God is okay.

"Now, Jack can run circles around Spot intellectually, not to mention the fact that Spot's more than half in the bag, and in the end, Jack convinces Spot to quit his position and take a lesser one - one that doesn't involve slaughter. So - very inebriated – Spot tells God he quits: throws down his fiery sword, gives him the finger - which ruins it for the rest of us- because from that day forward, God decreed that angels could no longer imbibe alcohol. Hence all the spitting," Metatron gestured to the two glasses in front of him.

"Sounds reasonable," Tori said, shrugging.

Metatron glared at her, "Maybe to you, but I'm a lush by nature."

"I meant about the angel of death's resignation," explained Tori, rolling her eyes at him.

"For a liberal, yes, but this is the Angel of Death we're talking about. The Angel of

Death can't be a conscientious objector. The Angel of Death is charged with meeting out whatever justice God demands. So for their insolence, God decreed that neither Spot nor Jack would ever be allowed back into Paradise."

"Were they sent to hell?" Tori asked in a small whisper.

"Worse," Metatron said, taking yet another sip of tequila and spitting it out moments later, "New York."

AN: Aw, don't you just all love me now………….Lol………I'm sorry, but I like this chapter!! Metatron is just TOO funny and sarcastic!! Neway, for all u guys still waiting for your appearance to be made, have faith in me! it'll come as soon as I begin connecting all the characters and the really neat plot development stuff happens….. Alrighty y'all, comments of all kinds welcome here, so leave a review please!

Comments:

Blink's-Tiger: K, I kinda decided to can the whole "last scion" deal from Dogma and replace that character's role with a different person, hope you don't hate me for it!!!

Rayne: Yeah, I'm kinda wondering who all the characters are gonna be too………Lol, *cough*……Eh, I think I've got them all figured out……..emphasis on "think"……well, since I'm adding more characters in I dunno if there's really gonna be a "main" girl character, but we'll see….

Lisa: hey, glad you like it so much!!!

Cards: ack! Don't pass out on me now!! Lol…….

Mondie: I wouldn't speak to me either if I did that……….do NOT worry!! Plus, I couldn't make poor widdle 'ole you end up with the shit-demon, now could IIII??? I'm not quite THAT terrible……..*hack*…….

Jlove: THANK YOU!! At least SOMEBODY understands my reasoning for changing the story line!!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Tunes: I'm not quite sure who to cast as the apostle…….But I think I know who I'm gonna put there………Newayz, keep reading this and you'll find out eventually!!