Chapter Eleven

When Ellie walked into therapy a week later her face was expressionless, the pain that had been there a week ago gone and replaced by nothingness.

"Hello Ellie." Doctor James greets.

"Hello Doctor James. " Ellie responds obviously having a hard time trying to keep any emotion out of her voice.

"So are we ready to begin?" Doctor James questions.

Ellie shrugs, "sure, fine."

She was shocked when I burst into tears, I don't think he was used to girls crying in front of him. But he seemed to figure out what to do pretty quickly and he pulled me into a tight hug. I apologized quickly and I told him that I was always so afraid that people would find out about my cutting. But then I was embarrassed about crying in front of him so I turned around quickly and all the way back to my house. I managed to quickly field my father's questions about my meeting, telling him that it was fine and that I was worn out from it and I just wanted to sleep. The instant I got to my room I pulled a razor out from under a pile of clothes but before I could pull it across my skin the doorbell rang within seconds Sean walked into my room. God, I was so embarrassed and Sean knew that from the start and he immediately told me not to be. He took the razor out of my hand and he told me that he wanted to know every aspect of me and of my life.

"Sounds like you were really starting to have an effect on Sean." Doctor James comments.

Ellie nods but then quickly shakes her head, "But that's the point, I didn't want to have any effect on Sean."

I tried to protest against this, but Sean wouldn't have anything to do with that so before I could say anything else he pulled me into his arms and he kissed me right on the mouth.

Ellie wraps her arms around herself then and her turns her face away from Doctor James so that she can no longer see Ellie's expression, "would you like to end now?" Doctor James asks.

Ellie nods, "please."

"All right, but Ellie you have to understand that you are allowed to expression emotion."

"Maybe Doctor James, but I've never expressed emotion well before, I should be going." Ellie's voice is full of emotion now.

"All right Ellie, I will see you next week."