Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue, me no own, so you no sue.
Current Musing From Gypsy: I LIKE CHAI TEA! *sips tea*
AN: GUESS WHAT?! I GOT INTO A MUSICAL!!! WEEEEEEE! I'm excited because it's one of my FAVORITES! It's…..*drumroll please* INTO THE WOODS!!!!! Ah, that musical is just too incredibly awesome. And I'm Little Red Riding Hood and she's my favorite character in this musical! Woooooo!
Chapter Eleven
*What's An Apostle?*
"SKYLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"What?!" Skylar snapped irritably.
"What's wrong with this picture?" Beth asked with her hands on her hips.
Skylar looked around, "What?! What the hell are you two talking about?!!"
Cards buried her face in her hands, mumbling incoherently.
"Wait a sec…" Skylar began, looking at her surroundings from her seat on a bench, " Everybody's staring at me!! Why are they all staring at me??!!!"
A few pedestrians quickly shuffled away, as Skylar sent them a barrage of fierce glares.
Cards groaned and grumbled something about 'wings'.
Skylar's eyes opened widely. She twisted her head so she was looking over her shoulder at two large dark brown wings.
"Oops……" she muttered, "Eh heh…..I meant to do that…."
The wings slowly retracted into her back until she looked exactly like a normal person.
Unfortunately for the trio, this trick only seemed to attract more attention.
Cards quickly jumped up, saying to onlookers, "Isn't she great folks? Come on, give the girl a hand!"
Cards began clapping, trying to make it seem as if the whole wing-bit had been part of some magic act.
Beth began laughing uncontrollably as Cards only succeeded in scaring people more. But when Cards turned back to glare at her, Beth quickly changed her laughter into innocent coughing.
"Next time," Skylar began, "Don't try to help……please……."
"Oh shut up," Cards said, sitting back down while Beth began to pace in front of the bench.
"Okay," Beth said, "Objective number one: -"
"Find the stupid angel," Skylar cut in.
Cards nodded in confirmation.
Beth continued unfazed by the interruption, "Number two-"
"Stop the angel from stopping Spot and Jack from entering the church," all three girls recited together.
"So how do we find this angel?" Cards asked.
Beth shrugged, "We're in New York City, and we're looking for a purely innocent and good entity….She should stick out like a sore thumb! How hard could it be?"
The girls began to wade their way through the crowds gathered about on the street.
Cards snickered, then said, mocking Beth, "How hard could it be?….."
* * * * *
Tori, Blink, and Mush walked silently down a dusty road in the waning sunlight. Tori's jaw was set in a tight line of rigid determination, and the coldness of her gaze was enough to make both boys shiver involuntarily.
Blink nudged Mush and whispered in his ear, "She's pissed Mush, she'll never fuck us now. Well, maybe you, but definitely not me."
Blink paused and let his eyes skim up and down Tori's form.
"Tell me how she is," he said to Mush conspiratorially.
"Nobody is fucking me!" Tori growled menacingly, "You got that?!"
"At least not here," Blink commented agreeably.
Tori sighed angrily and stopped.
"Look," she said, "I'm sorry I dragged you to that bar. I don't know what I was thinking. But I'm just going to go to New Jersey myself, alright?"
"You're breaking up with us?" Blink asked hurriedly, with a twinge of regret and annoyance in his voice.
Tori rolled her eyes, "Sorry for the inconvenience," she said simply, "See you around."
Walking off towards what she hoped was New Jersey, Tori drug her feet along the ground and coughed slightly as dust arose and billowed about her face.
Blink stamped his foot on the ground, yelling after Tori, "Who the hell do you think you are, lady? You can't go around breaking people's hearts like that! We fell in love with you! Guys like us don't just fall out of the sky, you know!"
Tori turned around to reply with a stinging comment, when, as if on cue, a naked, dark-skinned man fell out of the sky and landed flat on his face.
"What the hell?" Tori muttered.
She ran over to the man, her pounding footsteps creating the obnoxious dust clouds that swirled around her being and engulfed her in tiny cough-enducing particles.
Mush walked up behind Blink, who looked down at the man, then up at the sky, yelling, "A beautiful, naked woman doesn't just fall from the sky, you know?!"
He searched the sky hopefully while Mush shook his head silently at his friend. Mush clapped Blink on the back sympathetically and crouched down near Tori, who was checking the man for a pulse.
Blink shrugged, "It was worth a try," he grumbled.
Rolling the man over Tori visibly looked away from his bare lower half, and instead lay her head on his chest, listening for a heart beat.
"He doesn't have a pulse," Tori confirmed.
"Do you think he fell from that cloud?" Blink asked, pointing up.
Mush looked up to where Blink was indicating.
"There's no cloud, man," Mush pointed out.
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Blink asked angrily, "Yes there is!"
Mush shook his head disparagingly and gestured to the cloudless sky.
"There was a cloud there!!!!" Blink yelled.
Mush laughed slightly, and Blink turned as red as a beet.
"STOP LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!!"
"Blink!!!" Tori yelled, "There would have been more of a mess if he'd fallen from that high!"
"Not necessarily," the man on the ground said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
Tori, Mush, and Blink leapt back with a look of horror on their faces.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Blink shrieked, "KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!!!"
The man looked at the trio in front of him, "That sounds familiar," he said.
"Jesus, are you okay?" Tori asked, a look of concern flitting across her face.
"Rufus," the man corrected, "And yes, I'm fine."
"He's the fucking undead!" Blink yelled, stepping back into a fighting stance, "Cut his head off!!"
Offering her hand, Tori helped the man up, noting that he was quite a bit taller than her.
"What the hell are you three doing in the middle of a road at this hour?" Rufus asked.
"Mind your own fucking business!" Blink stuttered with a brave expression plastered over his face but not his panicked eyes.
"Listen, goldie-locks," Rufus growled at Blink, "What I just did was not easy and it gave me a fucking migraine. Now if you don't pipe down, I'm going to rip your balls off."
Blink ran around Mush and hid behind him, poking his head over Mush's shoulder so he could say, "I knew it! The mother fucker wants to eat my brain!"
"I think he was aiming a bit further south," Tori countered sarcastically.
Turning to Rufus she said, "Speaking of which, you're awfully nude – Rufus, is it?"
"Rufus it is, miss," he replied with a tip of his head, covered in short curly brown hair.
"Hey," Rufus nodded to Mush, "How's about lending a brother your coat 'till I can find my own clothes?"
Blink stared incredulously at Mush.
"Mush, he fell out of thin air!" Blink said hoarsley.
Rufus flashed a cheesy smile in Mush's direction and he relented, taking off his coat and handing it to the naked man.
"MUSH!" Blink cried, "His dick is gonna be rubbing all over the inside of your coat!!"
"I'll do my best to tuck it back," Rufus said reassuringly.
Mush nodded, but his expression darkened as something rather odd caught his eye. He walked a couple of feet away to some nearby shrubbery to investigate while the others continued talking.
"So where exactly did you fall from?" Tori asked curiously.
"Some might say grace," Rufus replied, his rather cryptic answer eliciting a confused expression from both Tori and Blink.
"Mush, he's talking about your mom," Blink informed his friend, who was still peering into the bushes.
"You know," Tori began, "Normally I'd have a hard time with this, but somehow you falling out of the sky seems to go hand in glove with some of the other stuff I've been dealing with."
"Believe me," Rufus said solemnly, "You ain't seen nothing yet."
Mush leaned in closer to the bush as it began to shake slightly.
Suddenly, a young man leapt out of the bush and hurtled himself at Mush, pinning him to the ground with a club.
Two other guys jumped out of the bushes and headed straight for Tori and Blink. Tori ducked down as one of them jumped on top of her.
Luckily for Tori, Rufus grabbed her attacker and flung him roughly to the side. Blink, for lack of a better idea, pulled a newspaper out of his coat, rolled it up, and started beating the boy closest to him over the head with it.
Mush pushed up as hard as he could on the club and it swung back, hitting its holder square in the forehead. Rushing to Blink's side, Mush plied the guy away from his friend by the neck, throwing him over to where his two friends were.
One of the boys pulled out an odd looking knife and cut through the air, quickly jumping through the hole that was created. The two remaining guys followed, and the hole quickly closed behind them.
"Alright," Blink said angrily, "What the hell is with you, lady?! That's the SECOND time you got attacked by the fucking daycare runaways!"
"Man, they're onto you bad, already. I got here just in time," Rufus stated knowledgeably, wiping his hands off on the coat.
"How can you be so composed?!" Tori cried hoarsely, "We were almost killed!"
"Death is a worry of the living," Rufus stated nonchalantly, "The dead only worry about decay and necrophiliacs."
Tori shuddered involuntarily.
"See!" Blink yelled triumphantly, pointing at Rufus, "I told you he was the undead!"
"Not the undead," Rufus clarified, "The dead. I died. Christ told me the secret to resurrection once when we were at a wedding in Canna, but I got drunk and forgot it."
Tori stared at Rufus incredulously as he began to walk in the direction she had been taking before.
"Wait. Wait, wait-you knew Christ?" Tori asked incredulously.
Rufus stopped and faced her, "Knew him?" Rufus chuckled slightly, "I saw him naked."
Tori groaned, "Let me guess," she said dully, "You're another angel?"
"No, I'm a man. Just like you and him," Rufus gestured to Blink, thought about what he had said, then corrected, "Well, maybe not like him."
"At least I was a man," Rufus continued, "Been dead for nearly two thousand years. Here," Rufus passed Tori a small scrap of paper that had been rolled up behind his ear.
Tori unrolled it and looked at it while a confused expression flitted across her features.
"I can't read this," she said finally, passing the paper back to Rufus.
Nodding slightly Rufus explained, "It's Aramaic. It says 'Rufus - see you in two
years, Jesus.' Freaked me out because he basically told me when my number was up. Took the flavor out of the remaining years."
After glancing about for a moment Rufus added, "Look, we gotta keep moving. If we stay in one place long enough, those things are liable to come back. What say we continue this discussion over something to eat?"
Tori inhaled a deep breath of air, trying to convince herself that she was not slowly going insane.
"Wait a second," Tori said, on the brink of having a total mental breakdown, "I'm a rational woman, okay? All I want to know is where you, and those…." She searched to find a word to describe her attackers, "….Kids came from."
"The came from hell," Rufus said simply, "I came from heaven."
As he began to walk again he motioned for them to follow, saying "Let's start walking."
Blink stared after him in annoyance.
"Why can't we just hang out here for the night! I don't feel like walking anymore!" Blink whined loudly.
Rufus laughed, "Back in the old days with J.C. we walked everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle?"
While Rufus continued walking Blink pondered this for a minute or two. Tori looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to come with them.
Blink stared thoughtfully at the ground while tapping his foot, and Tori soon gave up, continuing after Rufus.
Finally, Blink looked up and called, "Hey!"
"What?" Tori yelled back to him.
"What's an apostle?!"
AN: Yeah yeah, I've been flaky with updating as always. But what can I say? I'm sorry I'm such a lazy ass and I'll do my best to update whenever I can. I wuffle you all SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much, even if ya don't review, but it would be nice if ya could!!!!
Comments:
Chronicles Bailey: I'm well aware of that, but if you haven't noticed I've decided to not follow the script word for word. Also I have been trying to change some of the words so they fit more appropriately with this time period.
Blackfire: LOL! I was watching it on Comedy Central too! Oh, that's just too great. I'm so glad that you like my story!!! Heee!
Mondie: You crack me up…..and no worries, little ole me ain't from Miami. Ha, you think me and jester never fight?! *snickers* God, you have NO idea how close to real life that chapter was……meep, in fact, we just argued, and I don't even know if she's speaking to me anymore! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! *runs off to bake Jester cookies* You'll be in soon, I swear!!!!!! I'm thinking the chapter after next….*nods* yup yup yup!
Vioshine: YAY! Thank god, someone agrees with my changing the script! *dances about happily* Adarr/Gypsy romance? *shifty eyes* I have no idea what you're talking about……*whistles innocently*
Ali: I think that "holy shit you're a vampire but a sexily vulnerable vampire so I won't stake you" IS adorable!!! *cough* *hack* sorta, kinda, not, errrrrrr……AWWWWWW, I WUV YOU TOOOO! *sobs*
Tiger: Wahoo! Glad you like that thing I made for y'all!
