AN: HA! I said I would update again and I DID! 'nuff said…read and enjoy! (hopefully)…Shout outs at the bottom as always!
Chapter Fourteen
*The 13th Apostle*
Blink stared at Rufus, "Yeah, well, none of us are in the Bible and you don't hear us bitching about it."
"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be in it!" Rufus cried indignantly, "I was the thirteenth apostle!"
"Not once in my life have I heard of any 'thirteenth apostle'," Tori pointed out.
"See?" Rufus started, "All of those other apostles were write boys. But me? I'm black, so bam, they leave me out as if I'm nothing. Nothing! But that's just a pet peeve of mine really, what I really want is to correct a major error that all you people are basing your faith in."
"And that would be…?" Tori asked sarcastically, waving her hand.
"Jesus wasn't white, he was black," Rufus stated bluntly.
"Bullshit," Blink declared, "I've seen plenty of pictures of Jesus and he was on white-assed mother with blue eyes."
"That's what's particularly insulting," Rufus explained, "You see, when the church started to officially organize, they decided that Jesus being black was a detriment, so all renderings were ordered to be Eurocentric, even though the brother was just as black as me."
Tori thought for a moment. "If that's true," she said, "Then why was he written about while you were left out?"
"He's the son of GOD…" Rufus said slowly, "It's kind of hard to have the New Testament without him. You just fudge a few facts about his ethnicity and you've got a whole new white Jesus. Leaving me out was fine because there were twelve other apostles to choose from."
"I don't buy it," Mush spoke up suddenly.
"Yeah?" Rufus looked annoyed, "That's what the people of Antioch said when they stoned my ass."
Tori choked slightly, "You were martyred?"
"That's one way of putting it," Rufus replied, "Another way is to say that I got bludgeoned to shit by big ass rocks from a crowd full of cretins. See, Christ told us to "spread the word" and since he already had a nice following in Antioch I was sent there. Christ was a huge hit. They just loved hearing about his message there. Only problem was when I mentioned he was black. Then they turned on me and before I knew it they were stoning my ass."
"So did you go to heaven?" Tori asked.
"Hell yes. It was the least the brother could do after I followed his ass around Jerusalem for three years spreading his goddamn message. And while the message is really what counts, people should know that Jesus was black. And that's why I'm here, to help you on your mission in exchange for you helping me with my campaign."
Tori looked surprised, "How do you know about that?"
"Heaven's a pretty boring place, and anything that breaks the tedium is news. The unmaking of existence is what you might consider a great tedium-breaker. Besides, there isn't much I don't know about you."
Sniffing huffily Tori replied, "I find that hard to believe."
Rufus stared directly at her and spoke evenly, "When you were five you let the little boy in the apartment next to you pee on your hand."
Looking disgusted Blink asked aloud, "You let him do that?"
"Yeah…But I never told anyone about it…" Tori said quietly.
"Neither did he," Rufus said, "He died of tuberculosis two months later. Your exploits, no matter how inane, are well known in heaven. Probably in hell too."
Rubbing her temples Tori stood up and walked away, sitting with her back propped up against the side of a dingy looking building that was across the road from the park.
Looking intrigued Blink commanded Rufus, "Tell me something about me!"
"You masturbate more than anyone else on the planet," Rufus replied distractedly.
"Shit," Blink laughed, "Everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody else knows."
"You think about guys when you do it." Rufus got up and left to sit with Tori.
After a moment of stunned silence and a disgusted look from Mush, Blink blurted out, "Not all the time!"
* * * * *
"I'm sorry if I spooked you," Rufus said as he sat down next to Tori.
"I just feel," Tori drew in a breath, "violated, like somehow my life isn't mine anymore. After I died, and Metatron came, and this whole mission…And you know what the worse part is? Even if I succeed, I'm still dead. What if I don't even like heaven?"
Rufus looked startled and seemed as if he was about to tell her something, but then reconsidered it. "Is that what Metatron told you?" he asked.
"Yes," Tori answered, slightly confused. Was there something Rufus wasn't sharing with her? She shook her head and continued, "It's just that…out of all the people or 'new angels' or whatever to give this mission too, why me? I'm nobody. I'm just a girl with no money who used to work as a seamstress in a factory before I….err…well, before I died…"
"You sound like Christ," he interjected, "He had the same reaction when he found out who he was, minus the seamstress angle. But, I'm sure you'll come to terms with what you have to do, just like he did."
"Who he was?" Asked Tori curiously, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Can't say yet," Rufus sighed, "But the real question is: are you capable enough to carry the burden? It all rests on you."
"You know, two thirds of me is still certain this is all some sick twisted dream and I'll wake up tomorrow morning in my bed. Yesterday, I wasn't even sure if God existed. And now I'm up to my ass in Christian mythology."
"God hates it when it's referred to as mythology," Rufus cautioned her.
"Well," Tori grumbled, "Then let's ask the 'prophets' what we should call it instead."
She paused for a moment before looking up and realizing that the park bench, once occupied by Mush and Blink, was very empty.
Tori looked around with a concerned frown on her face, not seeing them anywhere.
"Where did the two assholes go?"
AN: Lovely ending…..i know I know, stop glaring at me. Eh heh. Review pretty please with a big honkin' cherry on top!
Shout Outs (to my two AWESOME REVIEWERS!):
Cards: I. Love. You. There is absolutely nothing else to say. I friggin' LOVE YOU MAN! You have NO IDEA how much that review made me smile! -sigh- I MISS the good 'ole days. –sobs- -clings to Cards- Let's bring 'em back, ay? Or at least try…or….something….-wanders about aimlessly- anyway…..thank you so much for the review, it totally made my day! I missed getting awesome reviews from my fantabulous cards.
Falco: Hey there dahlink! Thanks mucho for the review! Waffles……mmmmmmm….I had one this morning! -bows to the god that is ego-
