Disclaimer: Don't own a thing.

Inside of You

Chapter 6

The Art of Being an Adult

(Part 2)

It was a rare thing for Peyton Sawyer to feel proud of herself. However in this particular moment she truly did. She'd made a lot of changes in her life over the past couple of months, and the differences she felt in herself were alarming. To put a specific word to this newfound feeling she'd developed was difficult, something akin to independence she finally decided. For as much as she complained about the idiocies of conformity, she knew that for the better part of her life she, Peyton, had been anything but independent.

Of course she would like to have blamed Nathan and his group of minions for the reason she fell into the co-dependence of popularity Hell. However, the truth was, if she'd wanted to be different all she had to do was walk away. It wasn't until Lucas' intrusion into Nathan's world that she finally felt strong enough do anything about her own situation.

 And then there was Lucas Scott. Why was he such an anomaly in her life? For years, she'd silently wished that there was just one other person in Tree Hill that had even a semblance of what it was like to have passion about something other than the weekly kegger. Here he was, and she was scared to death of what he meant, of he could be.

Dropping off her latest sketches for her comic at Thud magazine, Peyton noticed the object of her thoughts coming out of the auto shop across the street.

"Lucas," she called to him, a bit more reserved than usual.

He stopped mid-step, and turned to look at her, an unidentifiable expression on his face. "Peyton, hey."

She didn't know where to begin, what to say to show him how she felt. Jump right in to the hornets nest, she thought. "So I know we haven't talked since that night....things were sort of ...awkward."

He nodded," Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"Sorry about what," she inquired curiously.

"About the whole Brooke thing," he muttered.

Peyton met his eyes, searching his face, "Did anything happen between you two?"

"Well, no," Lucas answered shifting his body weight to the other leg, and back again.

"Then why are you sorry," she asked him quickly, almost impatiently.

"Because it could have," he responded truthfully.

"Well tell me Luke, what would have happened if I hadn't come in," she snapped out at him, the mixed feelings inside of her beginning to feel sharp and hot around her heart.

"Jesus Peyton, I don't know," he cried, his eyes growing wide.

She wanted to believe him, to know that whatever might have happened with him and Brooke would have been innocent, because they shared something more, something special. But she wasn't sure anymore. "Just tell me what the Hell is going on then?"

Lucas looked at her sadly, as if this was painful for him as well. "I won't lie to you. I have feelings for her."

"Like you do for me," her lips slightly quivered.

Lucas ran a hand through his hair and down his face, his chest suddenly feeling tight, making it hard to breath. "Everything's messed up....and I just......I don't want to hurt you."

She waited for him to continue, to say something, maybe kiss her. When it didn't come, Peyton protected herself in the only way she knew how. Her expression becoming hard, and cold she looked into his eyes. 'Too late," she said, turning around and walking away.

************************************

Dan Scott stood menacingly over the small group at the dinner table in front of him. "Well isn't this quaint, " his voice echoed through the room.

Nathan noticed him first, the entire world refocusing again on this one man. "Dad."

"Hello son", Dan nodded, turning to his wife disdainfully, "Debra."

"What are you doing her Dan," the older woman didn't move, her demeanor calm as she looked up at her husband.

Dan moved closer to the table, placing his hands on the back of a chair, leisurely. "I stopped by for more of my things, but when I noticed your little dinner party here I got sidetracked. What's the occasion?"

"Mom invited Haley to have dinner with us, " Nathan interjected, trying as hard as he could to break the ice.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Scott," Haley leaned out of her seat, to shake his hand.

He gave it a quick glance, "Uh huh, I see,"  and without moving returned his attention back to his wife.  "Well it's really only polite that I stay then, I am a part of the family after all.

Nathan looked back and forth between his parents anxiously. His mother to disturbed to know what to do next. Dan meanwhile, pulled out the chair he was leaning on, and sat down, resting his arms on the surface in front of him He looked over all the food on the table skeptically, before speaking, "Fettuccini Alfredo, good choice not my personal favorite. This is a nice set up you have here however. Tell me Deb, why is it that it takes a stranger coming to the house to get you to cook a real meal?"

"You don't want to hear the answer to that right now," Deb bit out.

"Because honestly," Dan continued without a beat, "anything would taste better after all of the fast food I've had to consume for the past two weeks."

Nathan watched his mother's face contort with building anger. In a quick move to defect the attention away from his father's remarks, he cut into the conversation. "Have you talked to Whitey, Dad?"

Dan visibly shifted gears, turning to his son with a sigh, "Not yet, I heard about him trying to cancel the rest of the season. It's absurd, and he'll be getting a very angry visit from me, whenever he decides to finally show his face."

"Maybe he just needed a break," Nathan offered lamely.

"No, he's just ashamed that his actions finally came back to haunt him. This has been a long time coming for him, and now he can't handle it like a real man. He's a joke Nate. But that doesn't need to affect you. Have you been working on your conditioning since the game like I said?"

"Uhh... yeah...some," the younger man spoke quietly, a hint of defiance in his voice.

"Some?  What is that Nathan? What have I been telling you? You need to be training everyday. You're already weak when it comes to offense, and without practice it's only going to get worse. I'll make a call to some of the other parent's, you can do drills here after school on Monday. I want–."

"That's enough." Deb yelled aloud. Dan paused to compose himself, turning to her slowly.

"Excuse me?"

"You. In the Kitchen now," she ordered, pushing her seat back with a jerk, and pushing through the two-way oak door leading out of the dining room.

Dan, simply smiled in amusement at her anger, and followed her through the door, leaving behind two very unsettled teenagers.

"Why are you here," Deb immediately questioned him when he came into the kitchen.

'This is still my house, if I remember correctly," he answered smoothly, looking for the all the world as if he was just making another sale, instead of fighting with his wife.

"Our house Dan, our house. And we had an agreement. We need time apart right now," she crossed her arms over her body, her stance unwavering.

"Actually it was you that made the decision, and now that you mention it, I think it was obviously the wrong one."

"Meaning?"

"I've been gone a couple weeks, I come back and Nathan's having dinner with charity cases and slacking on his training, it's out of control," he yelled back at her for the first time, his words reverberating into the other room.

*************************************

Haley turned in her seat, watching Nathan stare down at the table. She wanted to tell him it was going to be ok, that parents were shitty, and that things always got better.  She didn't know if things would get better for him though, not with a man like Dan Scott around.

"You ever wonder why adults think going into another room completely shuts out all of their yelling," Nathan finally spoke, his eyes still fixated on his plate.

Haley reached up to touch him, but moved back. "I think they believe that if we hear them argue, it won't be as bad as if we see them argue."

"I guess so," he breathed, shutting his eyes tightly in frustration at how this whole evening was turning out.

"Nathan are you.....look at me...are you ok," Haley brushed her hand softly against the side of his face, trying to show him, that what had happened, what his father had said about him and her didn't matter.

"Can we just get out of here," he turned to her, his whole body wrought with tension.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere, where you are," he answered, stopping to grab a small bottle from the nearby cupboard, before following her out of his house.

********************************************

"Who are you," Deb questioned Dan from his words he spoke only a moment earlier. "The man I married was by no means perfect, but he had compassion, a sense of morality when it came to others. The person before me now isn't even close to having either of those."

"That's funny, the absentee mother calling the kettle back I should say," his voice becoming low, and resentful.

"I might not have always been around for the last couple of years, something I am coming to gravely regret now, but I love my son. Imperfections and all. Basketball or not. Can you say the same Dan?"

He came up in front of her, his body large and intimidating against the smaller woman. "I love Nathan, and I want him to have a successful future. One, I'm actually willing to invest time in."

"Or would it be to feed the obsession you have with your own failures," she countered, standing her ground and looking up at him with strength she had buried somewhere deep inside of herself.

"Like this marriage," he through back at her, his cruel remarks finally becoming unbearable.

"You should leave," she stepped back from him.

"Oh but we're just getting started," he mocked, folding his hands together with ease, his expression never changing from the cold glare he had perpetually plastered on his face.

"Get out, or I call the police," she warned him.

When he saw that there was no lie in her eyes, he turned to leave, saying "You can't keep from my own home forever Debra," before barreling out the door.

************************************************

Nathan had been silent the entire time they were in his car. Haley sat debating whether or not she should let him deal with his own demons quietly or if she should talk to him. With Lucas it had always been easy, when he was in a bad mood he would either come find her, go to the court to play, or go home and brood, alone. Nathan wasn't Lucas, and she didn't for a second pretend to believe that they reacted the same way when they were upset, the last few months had proven that to her absolutely.

When the car came to a halt outside of his beach house, Haley wondered for the hundredth time that night, what was going through his mind. She followed behind him, onto the beach, the cool breeze from the ocean causing a quick shiver to run up and down her body. Nathan seemed to take note of this and her, pulling his jacket off, grabbing something from his pocket, and then wrapping the rather large object around Haley's petite form.

She smiled at his chivalrous behavior, pulling the open fabric close around her body. "Aren't you gonna be cold?"

He pulled the bottle of Captain Morgan's he'd been holding in front of him and showed it to her, "Not with this I won't," he stated, untwisting the cap and taking a drink

Haley watched in distress as Nathan walked several more yards in front of her, stopping underneath the docks. He slumped down against one of the wooden columns, resting his head back and taking another swig, shaking his head from taste of the bitter alcohol.

"What are you doing," she came right up in front of him.

"It's called drinking," he said dryly, "It's what you do when you consume liquid through your mouth."

"Alcohol's not going to make your problems go away Nathan, you know that," she kneeled down beside him.

He ignored her affections, gulping down more of the brown liquid, "Really, I beg to differ, " he pulled away from her when she tried to grab the bottle from him.

Haley pushed herself off the ground, looking down at her companion mournfully. "If you want to sit here and drink yourself into oblivion then be my guest, but I don't have to watch," she asserted, walking towards the house.

Nathan looked out onto the dark ocean before him, the seemingly shiftless waves hitting the edge of the shore with a fierce voracity. He knew he had two choices in this scenario, sit alone drunk, or be with the one person that help him through this.

Haley was a couple feet from the house when she heard Nathan behind her, calling her name. If it had been any other night she would have ignored him, however she'd like to think if the situation was reversed that he too would forgive her transgressions.

"Haley.........Haley wait, please don't go," he pleaded, capturing her forearm, and pulling her to him.

"Why should I stay," she asked him honestly.

"Because....I need you," he answered.

****************************************

Haley had gone into his beach house after that, coming into the living room, and sitting down while Nathan started a fire. She could tell he was being overly attentive to her, but what she wasn't sure of was why. It was supposed to be the other way around, her helping him, being there for him. She felt like a fool, because unlike many of the other people from this town she wasn't all that used to drama. Not where her and Lucas were concerned, well, until recently of course.

He sat down next to her, still quiet as before. This time Haley leaned against him on the couch, lacing her fingers with his.

"Tell me what your thinking."

"I'm thinking how life is such a joke. You think you figure it out, the way everything is supposed to be. And then it all changes, and you change with it but it never gets better, it just gets more damn confusing," Nathan uttered, staring at the bright flames of the fire.

"Sometimes it gets better," she offered.

"Like when."

"The day you came into the tutoring lab and talked to me for the first time. I never in a million years thought it would turn out that way, but I'm happy it did because I got to know the real Nathan," she saw him crack a quick grin.

"According to some people the real Nathan isn't worth all that much."

"Like who," Haley asked him.

"My Dad, my uncle, Whitey, half the people that pretend to be my friends....Lucas," he tried to turn away from her, but she stopped him, pulling him back.

"They all care about you Nathan. Sometimes they just get too wrapped up in their own lives to notice how others feel. And sometimes you have to let the people who are important to you, know how you feel about them. They need to know you care."

"I do..... ya know, care about you," he looked at her.

"Now I do," she said, tilting her head up to kiss him, showing him without words how strongly she truly felt.

*******************************************

He'd stood in front of her door for twenty minutes, and still hadn't gotten the balls to knock. He wanted to apologize for everything that happened between them. He wanted to tell her how he really felt, and not seem like a complete jackass while doing it. Mostly he just wanted her to tell him she felt that way too, once and for all.

"It's all or nothing," he said to himself, knocking on the large wooden door in front of him.

"Lucas.....hi," she said, a shocked expression on her face when she saw who was at her front stoop.

"Hey.....ok I uh want to get this all out before you say anything, because otherwise I might just chicken out. So here it goes, I've been thinking about that night when the three of us were at my house and how everything got so weird and complicated. I've been thinking about how strange its felt between us these last few days and how I hate that.  How everything started out so new and exciting and fun, and life just seemed to mess it up as always. But mostly I've been realizing how I can't stop thinking about you. So what I'm basically trying to say is.....do you feel the same," he stood still, taking in a breath of air.

"I thought you'd never ask," Brooke said, gesturing for him to follow her into her home.

A/N: Like this new twist? Hate it? Let me know either way !