A warm, damp cloth was placed upon Midori's pale forehead. Her face placid as she lay in the futon in this gravely manor.
"Yukishiro-san, I must go attend to another patient." The doctor said calmly as he gathered his things in his small bag, "Can you handle your wife?"
"Yes."
There was a silence as he looked at his wife. Her lips were as pale as her skin. She looked so cold. He remembered how pink her lips were when she was well. When they were first married, he remembered waking up to see her looking at herself in the mirror. Her lips turned into a grimace and she seemed to swallow this lump in her throat. Her fingers drifted up to the corner of her eyes as she sat there. It seemed as if she was so empty and that this was not the path chosen for her. And through everything she's been through, not once did she shed a tear. Her eyes stung from the unshed tears and yet nothing came. Her index finger traced an invisible trail of a tear down her cheek and to her lips where she touched them softly with the pads of her fingers. Her lips parted slightly and her eyes caught Hideo, her young husband, staring at her from his futon. She slammed the mirror down and covered it up quickly before putting it back in her vanity drawer. He knew then that maybe his wife was unhappy.
"It was to happen, Yukishiro-san. She's a very weak woman and with this harsh winter, it was inevitable for her to contract this illness." the doctor stated as he walked over to the door.
Hideo didn't answer as he just stared at his wife. The doctor saw the look on Hideo's face. It was such a shame that it was unrequited love.
"Goodbye, Yukishiro-san..." he murmured before shutting the door behind him.
A Moment's Memory
Romantic Tales from before the Meiji Era
Act IX: Words That Should Have Been Said
Kiyosato watched Tomoe's lips tremble. They were so pale like her skin.
"I'm cold..." she said softly.
It still rained outside and they still sat underneath that cherry blossom tree. They were both curled up into little balls, but they sat a distance from each other. Through the sounds of the rain, he could hear her shivering. Her body shaking and her arms wrapped around herself. Her eyes were downcast as she looked at the mud. It reminded her of her brother when he was younger. Tomoe and Kiyosato were talking when Enishi threw mud at Kiyosato. They both took it as child's play then, but Enishi's hatred grew as the time passed.
"The rain never bothered me. It's so comforting." Kiyosato commented almost inaudibly.
"I don't know what to feel in times like these. I don't know how to act..."
Kiyosato knew she wasn't talking about the rain.
"No one does." he added.
"I'm so inhuman. I have feelings, but I never know how to express them. They linger. They grow. But they never depart. And sometimes, feelings change."
"My feelings will never change."
And there they sat, just listening to the rain.
*** *** ***
"Why did you take care of me while I was sick?" Midori asked softly.
He looked at her in the light of the flickering fire before them. Her features was so angelic, so light, and fair. Her cheeks carried a tint of blush. She looked beautiful at most in these moments.
"You're my wife. It's my duty to do so." he answered with a boyish smile.
He took a sip of his sake that she had poured for him. She could only stare at him with that expressionless face. Her eyes scanned his every feature. His taut facial features and his stunning eyes. Those eyes that could just be so open and show everything he was feeling. She saw him in his times of anger when he'd return home after getting in a fight with someone he worked with that was difficult. She saw his sweet smile when he woke up to a warm breakfast. She saw his sadness when his parents died. He was such an open book, and she didn't know how to react to what she read. At first, it angered her to be with such a love-sick fool, a man who was of samurai-relation. To her parents, that's all that mattered. It made her sick to be arranged to be with someone. But here he was, giving her everything and she refused them all stubbornly out of spite for her parents. She only served as his wife with an empty heart. How selfish she had been when he was tried earnestly to make her feel better. But to see him in this new light, without the strings of her malice tied to her thoughts, she felt warm.
"How is it?" she asked thoughtfully.
He put the sake down with surprise. She had never asked him that before with any emotion in her voice.
"It's fine." he answered truthfully.
"Good."
She smiled faintly before taking his cup away. He watched her retreat from the room, his eyes lingering on her face. She was so calm and something felt different about her. Later that night, she got his bed ready for him and he settled in.
"I brought another blanket. It will be cold tonight." she said softly.
"Midori..."
"Hm?"
Their eyes met for the first time since they were married. It was a turning point in their relationship. Even when they had consummated their marriage, it was like an obligation or a task needed to be done. It didn't seem out of any passion. He parted his lips to say something, but nothing came out. She was looking straight into the depths of his eyes, analyzing him. He couldn't do anything. Her gaze shifted from his eyes and to his parted lips. She leaned forward just slightly and stopped a mere inch away from his own face. Her eyes met his again and he looked so confused.
"I'm sorry..." he said softly.
Her eyes squeezed shut as she leaned in, giving him a passionate kiss and he pulled her close into his arms. They parted, relishing in their first embrace as his fingers clutched her yakuza fabric. Her breathing quickened as she felt his fingers slide down her sides and her own hands slid into the inner folds of his. Her cold hands came in contact with his chest and he hissed involuntarily at the bite of the chill. Lovingly, she placed a soft kiss on his neck before she surrendered to him as they collapsed onto the bedding.
***
Hideo sat huddled in the corner of his son's room, watching him breathe steadily in his sleep. His thoughts on his wife lingered even to that day. But even though he reflected on the past, he still had a daughter that still had not returned from her search.
*** *** ***
The two walked through Kiyosato's gate, both drenched from the rain. Kiyosato and Tomoe were both soaked in mud when the family saw their forms. Etoro was the first to run to his side.
"Akira! You're safe!" she wailed as she clutched him close to her.
His parents joined them outside with an umbrella.
"Tomoe-san, we appreciate your efforts." Urara said with great admiration.
Etoro said nothing as she glowered at Tomoe while she still clung to Kiyosato. Tomoe nodded, but found herself slipping from her stance. Slowly, she collapsed, her hair trailing behind her as she fell to the mud. The Kiyosatos gasped and their son pushed Etoro aside as he fell to Tomoe's side. He clutched her to him and shook her gently yet desperately.
"Tomoe! Tomoe!" he beckoned, but she did not answer.
"Akira, I think she's sick. She's been out in the rain too long." his father said as he knelt down beside her as well.
"We should bring her home. Hideo-san is worried." Urara suggested.
Tomoe slipped in and out of conscience, catching her friend's face in a blurry image.
"Kiyo...sato..." she whimpered.
"Hang on, Tomoe. Hang on..." he murmured gently as he lifted her off the ground.
*** *** ***
"What a troublesome girl she is!" Etoro commented with a flick of her wrist, "Any simple woman would know that you can catch your death of a cold out there."
"Etoro, she had the best intentions to find Akira after the fact you hurt him." Urara argued.
"You respect that girl, don't you?"
"She is very kind, but quiet and respectful. She has showed me nothing but what a woman should be."
"Beauty and silence doesn't get you that far."
"What do you have against Tomoe? I believe Tomoe suffers more than any of us when Kiyosato is hurt. I think she loves that boy."
"How can you tell? Not an emotion passes on that face."
"I have a feeling."
"Well, feelings won't get you anywhere."
The two older women sat sipping tea in a room. The rain was still pouring outside and the only warmth from the tea and their bodies.
"Do you believe Akira would enjoy Aizu?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I can find a perfectly good girl there. Ones of wealth and stature."
"Tomoe's a good candidate. He has chosen her. The arrangements have already been made with Hideo. You cannot go back on that."
"We can give them our fee for breaking up the engagement."
"Etoro, you are going way to far!" Urara said as she slammed her empty cup down on the table.
On the table, the small glass ornament fell over from the impact on the table and shattered on the floor. The two women looked in horror and Urara ran to pick up the pieces.
"Look! A bad omen! What have I been saying!" Etoro pointed out sharply.
"It doesn't necessarily mean Tomoe." Urara said gently as she held all the pieces in her hands.
"Then what could it mean?"
*** *** ***
"Tomoe..." Kiyosato murmured as he brushed back a few wet tresses from her face, "I'm sorry..."
He was interrupted by Hideo as he cleared his throat in the doorway. He turned his head to meet his elder with his eyes only shadowed in worry.
"Why do you run away, boy?" Hideo asked.
"Excuse me, sir?" Kiyosato said with uncertainty.
"Why do you run away?" he reiterated.
"I don't understand."
"You're a man and your aunt is a woman. Must you always take her words so strongly? You and I both know she's not sunshine on a rainy day, but it's someone you have to tolerate."
"I don't know why she hates Tomoe so much."
"So this is why you ran...?"
"She wanted me to go to Aizu. And she slapped my mother when she defended me, then slapped me after I spoke up."
"Damn widow... You know why she's doing this, right?"
Kiyosato shook his head and Hideo sat beside him, watching the candlelight glow along the curves of Tomoe's face.
"Etoro was never a simple woman. Always had to have her damn complications to make herself seem interesting. She was in love with a man she wanted to marry, but he was in love with a girl like Tomoe. She was introverted yet beautiful. Your aunt was also beautiful, but she wasn't like the other girl. Eventually, Etoro wed another man of a nice samurai family."
"She had a sad life."
"Indeed. Etoro will never see Tomoe. She'll only see the girl who stole her love's heart. She thought she could always make him happier..."
"Yukishiro-san..."
"Hai?"
"I love Tomoe."
*** *** ***
"Midori!" Hideo beckoned.
"Hai." she said with a nod.
"I must go to Kyoto for some business. I should be back soon."
"I'm giving birth soon, Hideo." she said as she placed a hand on her swelled abdomen.
"I know. I will be back. I promise." he said as he placed his hand over hers.
"And when you get back...?"
"I will finally tell you something I've been longing to say."
"I think you've said those words a million times." she said with a giggle.
"But you've never said them back. I've been waiting for a response."
Her expression became sullen, and she kissed him on his lips.
"Come back to me." she said almost inaudibly, the smell of white plum engulfing his senses.
"'kaa-san!" Tomoe's voice called.
"Tomoe, you're father is leaving." Midori informed.
As they waited for their daughter, Hideo posed a question.
"Have you thought of a name for the child?" he asked meekly.
"If it's a girl, I chose Yumi. If it's a boy, I chose Enishi." she stated softly as she rubbed her stomach.
"'tou-san!" a small voice cried.
He turned to see his daughter waiting patiently at his side. He patted her head softly.
"Tomoe, take care while I'm gone." he said with a smile and started to walk away.
"Goodbye." his wife called out.
A week later, Hideo returned at night only to be greeted with the doctor. His wife was struggling with their second child on the other side of the house. That night, she died and the words he had wanted to hear from her were never said. His heart pained at the thought. There were words that should have been said, but they were left as an understanding. He really wished he would've known how she truly felt. And that's what he feared with Kiyosato. Kiyosato reminded him of himself and Tomoe like the unreachable Midori he had fallen for. Would she ever tell him how she felt?
*** *** ***
"Tomoe, wake up." a desperate voice pleaded.
The sound of the gate opening and chatter between Kiyosato and Ayumi could be heard while Enishi sat with his sister. He watched her pale face in the candlelight. She looked dead.
"Tomoe..." he murmured softly as his fingertips brushed against her hand.
The shoji slid open at that moment and Ayumi entered with a worried expression.
"How is she?" she asked hesitantly.
"She's not answering." Enishi coldly replied.
"Enishi..."
"Kiyosato..."
"Excuse me?"
"Where's Kiyosato?"
"He's with your father."
He was silent as she made her way to him, her shawl wrapped tightly about herself. As she placed an unsteady hand on his shoulder, he flinched.
"Ayumi-san..." he acknowledged softly.
"She'll be fine, Enishi."
"You don't understand. I watched her go. She foolishly went after him, staying with him in the rain. Why would she do that?"
"There are some things I can't answer for you."
"She shouldn't have to deal with this. She's strong. She's strong for me."
Ayumi's shawl fell from her grasp as she hugged the little boy from behind. His eyes widened as he felt the warmth around his shoulders. He felt the dampness on his gi. He smelled the scent of fresh rain that came with her. Ayumi was crying.
"Ayumi-san...?"
"Don't give Kiyosato a hard time, ne?" she said in a question, but Enishi knew it wasn't one.
*** *** ***
Tomoe awoke to an empty room. She felt unbearably hot and her mouth felt dry. It was dark and the candle had burned out. She grasped her head with confusion. How long had she been out? Someone cleared his/her throat and she turned to see the source. Her father sat in the corner with Tomoe's shawl in his hands, the same one Kiyosato had given her. It's dark blue material almost fading.
"You're up." he stated.
"I don't feel too good." she commented with a sigh.
"You've been out in the rain. Of course you're not feeling well."
"'tou-san..."
"Don't take that tone with me. You have to get better."
"Why?"
"Enishi's birthday is soon. He wants you well when that day comes, and only you can make his favorite dish."
"I see..." she said as she wiped a few hairs away that were stuck to her cheek.
Her throat felt so hot and dry. She looked around the room and saw her father walking over to her with a cup. She took it gratefully and quaffed the contents down, feeling the moistness on her cracked lips.
"Next time, take care of yourself, musume(1)." he said softly as he took the cup from her.
She nodded her head in understanding.
- End of Act IX -
Reader's Reference:
1 – musume – young lady, daughter
Author's Note: Sorry this Act took so long! I've been so busy and the writer's block was nipping at my heels, but I escaped! Well, I tried to give some background on some of the other characters and Tomoe's parents. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please read and review!
