And then he remembered that the redhead would be coming down the stairs soon, and he knew he had to flee while he could, but he was frozen and he realized it was already too late, he could move in only one direction, up the stairs and to his love, but though it was inevitable, all of us are fragile and fickle, humans and vampires, and he could not force his feet closer without time or prodding. It had been so long- Willow. He had missed her, even as his heart broke for Buffy. The redhead had always been kind, accepting, and forgiving. Angelus had killed her fish. He remembered catching them out of the water. He was sorry. Angel was always sorry.
But thoughts were driven out of his head as he heard her footsteps walking, as the red doors swung open and there she was, eyes down as she searched through her yellow bag. Her head tilted back up and he cringed at the surprise in her eyes, the shock in her green stare.
"Angel....what are you doing here?"
He lowered his eyes, lost his voice when he tried to say something, anything, "uh.... I came to see Buffy. I need to talk with her." His throat was full of pauses, of negative space. Angel stared at her bewildered face, and turned to his shiny black car that blended in with the night, muttering, "I can't do this."
"Angel!" He heard her cry, and paused, then pivoted on her heel to face her, "Angel, you can't do this to her again!"
"Do what?" He cried out, sorrow spreading through his body like what he vaguely remembered cold felt like, "She's moved on. She..." His voice dropped and he had to clear his throat and blink once or twice before he could continue, "she slept with someone. She must have started dating again almost right after I left."
"Dating?" She isn't dating. She hasn't done anything but mope over you, you big, stupid, man! I mean, men! First her father and then you and now Parker the Poophead...oh...you heard about Parker?"
"I heard... Parker... in a bar in L.A. I couldn't.... I couldn't stay away from her... I'm weak," he laughed bitterly, "You know that."
"You're not weak," Willow's voice was compassionate, "You're strong. Super strong, to stay away from her all this time when she's been sobbing in her sleep every night- okay, maybe not so much strong as completely heartless, and I probably shouldn't have told you about the weepyness, so just...umm...ignore me?"
"Sobbing? But she has... Parker."
"She doesn't have Parker! He used her, Angel! And we refer to him as Poophead, please!"
"Used her..." Angel gaped. Something wasn't sinking in. Why would.... how could.... Buffy! What kind of a person could taste Buffy and then let her go?
Willow, misunderstanding his confusion, continued, "You know, usual deal, boy meets girl, boy seduces girl, boy doesn't call ever again? He slept with her... And then he said it was... Fun. God, men!"
Angel couldn't seem to hear her ranting.
(I'll kill him. I'll kill him slowly. I'll tear off his fingernails and use them to decorate my desk.)
Apparently he had been saying this aloud, because suddenly she was about to start for him, preparing to hold him back, when they both froze
(her voice)
"Willow! I thought you would have left by now! I was just going to catch up with you. You were right, I can't just mope in my room forever. I love him, and I'll always love him, but he left me and I have to go out and live my life and just, you know, be completely celibate. Forever. And not date, just... dance. Maybe I'll become a lesbian. It's a valid lifestyle choice. I mean, I could try, right?" Buffy looked at her friend, who stood stiffly, eyes flickering from her to a spot to their right, "Willow? Isn't this time for the supporting best friend hug? Willow? Will, what's wrong?" Angel watched as she crossed the soft grass in front of their dorm to grip her friend's upper arms.
"Buffy!" Willow squeaked, 'Buffy, er... there's..."
"Will, you're scaring me. What's going on?" Angel couldn't hide any longer.
"Buffy."
But thoughts were driven out of his head as he heard her footsteps walking, as the red doors swung open and there she was, eyes down as she searched through her yellow bag. Her head tilted back up and he cringed at the surprise in her eyes, the shock in her green stare.
"Angel....what are you doing here?"
He lowered his eyes, lost his voice when he tried to say something, anything, "uh.... I came to see Buffy. I need to talk with her." His throat was full of pauses, of negative space. Angel stared at her bewildered face, and turned to his shiny black car that blended in with the night, muttering, "I can't do this."
"Angel!" He heard her cry, and paused, then pivoted on her heel to face her, "Angel, you can't do this to her again!"
"Do what?" He cried out, sorrow spreading through his body like what he vaguely remembered cold felt like, "She's moved on. She..." His voice dropped and he had to clear his throat and blink once or twice before he could continue, "she slept with someone. She must have started dating again almost right after I left."
"Dating?" She isn't dating. She hasn't done anything but mope over you, you big, stupid, man! I mean, men! First her father and then you and now Parker the Poophead...oh...you heard about Parker?"
"I heard... Parker... in a bar in L.A. I couldn't.... I couldn't stay away from her... I'm weak," he laughed bitterly, "You know that."
"You're not weak," Willow's voice was compassionate, "You're strong. Super strong, to stay away from her all this time when she's been sobbing in her sleep every night- okay, maybe not so much strong as completely heartless, and I probably shouldn't have told you about the weepyness, so just...umm...ignore me?"
"Sobbing? But she has... Parker."
"She doesn't have Parker! He used her, Angel! And we refer to him as Poophead, please!"
"Used her..." Angel gaped. Something wasn't sinking in. Why would.... how could.... Buffy! What kind of a person could taste Buffy and then let her go?
Willow, misunderstanding his confusion, continued, "You know, usual deal, boy meets girl, boy seduces girl, boy doesn't call ever again? He slept with her... And then he said it was... Fun. God, men!"
Angel couldn't seem to hear her ranting.
(I'll kill him. I'll kill him slowly. I'll tear off his fingernails and use them to decorate my desk.)
Apparently he had been saying this aloud, because suddenly she was about to start for him, preparing to hold him back, when they both froze
(her voice)
"Willow! I thought you would have left by now! I was just going to catch up with you. You were right, I can't just mope in my room forever. I love him, and I'll always love him, but he left me and I have to go out and live my life and just, you know, be completely celibate. Forever. And not date, just... dance. Maybe I'll become a lesbian. It's a valid lifestyle choice. I mean, I could try, right?" Buffy looked at her friend, who stood stiffly, eyes flickering from her to a spot to their right, "Willow? Isn't this time for the supporting best friend hug? Willow? Will, what's wrong?" Angel watched as she crossed the soft grass in front of their dorm to grip her friend's upper arms.
"Buffy!" Willow squeaked, 'Buffy, er... there's..."
"Will, you're scaring me. What's going on?" Angel couldn't hide any longer.
"Buffy."
