Buffy looked at him oddly, "Of course. That wasn't even in question. Why are you acting like this? Is it the First again?" She turned to walk away and pace, but suddenly Angel needed to be near him and he shot out his arm to grab her wrist, firm, but always gentle.
(gentle with my Buffy, oh please don't let her hate me)
He held her wrist, his five fingers wrapped around her thin arm. Suddenly it was very upsetting that her arm was so thin. It needed to be addressed, it had to be, it was very, very important, so much more important than a stupid permanent soul, "Buffy, you're so thin. Why are you so thin? Haven't you been eating? You look so tired. You need to..."
He couldn't seem to let go of her wrist as he babbled. It was fascinating him. Angel caressed it as he spoke.
(so thin, but he loved her, and she was always so beautiful)
"I have my soul. Forever, Buffy."
Angel didn't look up at her face. Instead, he turned her wrist over and examined the soft underside, the blue veins that ran with her blood, obsessed. The vampire stroked her palm, her fingers, her knuckle scars.
"How long?"
"Almost a month."
'Why... why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Angel examined a freckle, running his thumb over it, savoring her skin.
Everything seemed so clear now.
"I was scared... that you wouldn't want me. And that you wouldn't....wouldn't care. And what I said was true, you do deserve someone so much better. But I'm so weak. And I was trying so hard to stay away from you, and then I heard about Parker and he hurt you, Buffy, and I don't want you to hurt. Ever. And I made a vow, to protect your heart from bruises, and I failed... so badly. And I only ever wanted...for you to be happy."
Angel clutched her wrist in his hands, then glanced up to find her gazing down at him, still looking kind of dazed at his revelation and then the amount of words that had flown from his mouth, "I'm going insane without you. Waking up each day, reaching for you..."
(your vanilla, your gold, your silk and strawberries, your sunshine in my bed)
"was hell, Buffy, it was so...so painful."
"I know." His eyes, which had glazed over while he recalled those aching mornings when his broken heart was so heavy in his chest, looked up at her as she spoke, "I know. God, that is definitely a pain that is familiar with Buffy. But.... I'm angry. So angry. That you could just give up, that you... don't have this same need to do anything, anything, for us to be together. But I, I think I understand. And I think I can forgive you. For waiting to tell me, for... leaving me. And I want to be with you. So... so badly that I can forgive you anything."
Buffy climbed onto Willow's bed and straddled his lap, facing him, "I love you. God, I love you so much. And if you ever try to leave me again, I'll break your kneecaps."
Angel, still unwilling to let go of her arm, held it to him and said thickly, "I love you. I'll... I can't... ever leave you again. It hurts too much."
"Good, " she smiled, "Cause I'm tired of fighting, and I don't feel like breaking any bones right now. Maybe later."
Buoyed by her levity and suddenly taking note of her position, Angel grinned, "Anything I can do to help you postpone crippling me?"
Buffy smiled again, "So, clause.... gone for good?"
Angel leaned in until he was only a second away from her sweet lips, "Forever."
And then her lips were on his, and all thoughts had left him, beyond the urge to throw her down on her best friend's red quilt and make love to her until their bones ached, because it had been months, no years, possibly centuries since he had felt her soft, passionate lips on his cold ones.
(gentle with my Buffy, oh please don't let her hate me)
He held her wrist, his five fingers wrapped around her thin arm. Suddenly it was very upsetting that her arm was so thin. It needed to be addressed, it had to be, it was very, very important, so much more important than a stupid permanent soul, "Buffy, you're so thin. Why are you so thin? Haven't you been eating? You look so tired. You need to..."
He couldn't seem to let go of her wrist as he babbled. It was fascinating him. Angel caressed it as he spoke.
(so thin, but he loved her, and she was always so beautiful)
"I have my soul. Forever, Buffy."
Angel didn't look up at her face. Instead, he turned her wrist over and examined the soft underside, the blue veins that ran with her blood, obsessed. The vampire stroked her palm, her fingers, her knuckle scars.
"How long?"
"Almost a month."
'Why... why didn't you tell me sooner?"
Angel examined a freckle, running his thumb over it, savoring her skin.
Everything seemed so clear now.
"I was scared... that you wouldn't want me. And that you wouldn't....wouldn't care. And what I said was true, you do deserve someone so much better. But I'm so weak. And I was trying so hard to stay away from you, and then I heard about Parker and he hurt you, Buffy, and I don't want you to hurt. Ever. And I made a vow, to protect your heart from bruises, and I failed... so badly. And I only ever wanted...for you to be happy."
Angel clutched her wrist in his hands, then glanced up to find her gazing down at him, still looking kind of dazed at his revelation and then the amount of words that had flown from his mouth, "I'm going insane without you. Waking up each day, reaching for you..."
(your vanilla, your gold, your silk and strawberries, your sunshine in my bed)
"was hell, Buffy, it was so...so painful."
"I know." His eyes, which had glazed over while he recalled those aching mornings when his broken heart was so heavy in his chest, looked up at her as she spoke, "I know. God, that is definitely a pain that is familiar with Buffy. But.... I'm angry. So angry. That you could just give up, that you... don't have this same need to do anything, anything, for us to be together. But I, I think I understand. And I think I can forgive you. For waiting to tell me, for... leaving me. And I want to be with you. So... so badly that I can forgive you anything."
Buffy climbed onto Willow's bed and straddled his lap, facing him, "I love you. God, I love you so much. And if you ever try to leave me again, I'll break your kneecaps."
Angel, still unwilling to let go of her arm, held it to him and said thickly, "I love you. I'll... I can't... ever leave you again. It hurts too much."
"Good, " she smiled, "Cause I'm tired of fighting, and I don't feel like breaking any bones right now. Maybe later."
Buoyed by her levity and suddenly taking note of her position, Angel grinned, "Anything I can do to help you postpone crippling me?"
Buffy smiled again, "So, clause.... gone for good?"
Angel leaned in until he was only a second away from her sweet lips, "Forever."
And then her lips were on his, and all thoughts had left him, beyond the urge to throw her down on her best friend's red quilt and make love to her until their bones ached, because it had been months, no years, possibly centuries since he had felt her soft, passionate lips on his cold ones.
