The Alex Chronicles

Alex Goes to the Dr Pepper Factory

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex or anything related to Golden Sun. I do not own Dr Pepper.

By- S.Duck (credit towards Ivanfanatic)

Alex: Hi everyone. Your probably wondering what the hell is going on right? *utter silence* . ......moving along. It all happened on the Mars Lighthouse....*enter flashback* Isaac and crew had just finished lighting the lighthouse. They killed Isaac's father and Jenna's parents. I teleported there to laugh in their faces. All of a sudden, THE WISE ONE APPEARED!!! He talked in such a cool voice it made me want his autograph. He looked so cool I payed no attention to what he was saying. Then I blacked out. We woke up in the middle of Time Square, New York (of coarse, we didn't know that at the time), and after a few months in jail for unnecesarry violence, we decided to accept our fate and settle down. We decided to pick places in the suberbs to live. We each roomed with a different person. I roomed with Garet, Mia roomed with Jenna, Isaac roomed with Felix, Ivan roomed with Sheba, and the two old men (Kraden and Piers) left to go to the retirement home. We visited them until Kraden had a heart attack. After that Piers roomed with Isaac and Felix. Overall, things have been going nicely for the past year. We've grown acustomed to everything, and I've even made some new rivals.......the staff...at Mc'Donalds....But enough about that. On to Todays story.

Narator: Alex woke up late. It was noon. He could smell Garets "Eau DE Toilette" from down the hall. He got up, and in his bunny pajamas, walked to the kitchen and started yelling at Garet.

Alex: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WHERING THAT CRAP AGAIN???

Garet: I've got a date with Mia.

Alex: Does she know about it or are you gonna abduct her again?

Garet: I DIDN'T ABDUCT HER!!! I just.....used sleeping gas on her and took her to a nice resturaunt. It's better when their asleep, cuz then they don't spend any money. Besides, she knows about this one. I got us tickets for a tour of the Dr Pepper factory.

Alex: YOU CRAP!!!

Garet: Nope. See?

Narator: Garet took two tickets from his chest pocket. He waved them back and forth in-front of Alex's face. They were real alright.

Alex: How did you get those? I've been trying for months!

Garet: Lets just say....I gots connection...

Alex: Oh god...not another mafia gig.

Garet: Ahh, what would you know. Now, I'm gonna place my tickets stupidly on this table while I go re-apply my hair gel. I need two bottles a day to keep my hair up.

Narator: And Garet put them down. Right on the table. When Garet came back out....

Garet: WHERE THE HELL ARE MY TICKETS?!?!?!?!?

Narator: Alex put the tickets in his front pocket. He started walking down to Isaac and Felix's house. He rang the door bell. His best friend answered the door.

Felix: Whadda ya want? You little basterd.

Alex: um....well....he he....

Felix:...........AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You fall for that everytime.

Alex: Haha...yeah. Whats up?

Felix: Nothin....

Narator: They here a fart go off in the backround.

Piers: Oh nerts. WILL SOMEONE HELP ME WITH MY DEPENDS?

Isaac: FELIX!!! IT'S YOUR TURN!!!

Narator: Felix had a disgusting look on his face...untill he spotted Alex's tickets.

Felix: SORRY ISAAC! ALEX'S GOT TWO TICKETS TO THE TOUR OF THE DR PEPPER FACTORY!!!

Isaac: YOU CRAP!!!

Alex: Hey! Waitaminute....I never said...OH NO!! not the puppy dog face....

Felix: *wimper*

Alex: Oh alright....you can come...

Narator: Another fart goes off.

Felix: Uh....lets go.

Isaac: I'M GONNA GET YOU FELIX!!!

Narator: Alex raised his right hand, and teleported himself and Felix to outside the Dr Pepper factory. There was a line outside, waiting for the tour. They saw their good friend in line. Yep, right up front was good ol Shadow the Hedgehog. They ran up to him.

Felix: Hey Shadow, how ya been?

Shadow: Not bad.

Alex: Your wife?

Shadow: Amy? .....ugh....she's pregnant again...

Felix: Again? Jeeze...you guys reproduce like gerbals.

Shadow: Hehe....yeah...

Narator: The tour guide came out. It was an extremly fat man.

Tourguide: Hi everyone. I'm gonna take you on the tour of the Dr Pepper factory. It's the only drink in my diet.

Shadow: *wispering* no wonder he's so fat.

Tourguide: Lets begin.

Narator: The tourguide wabbled inside like a penguin. It was rather comical. On the first stop, Alex saw a door that said "DO NOT ENTER"....obviously he did.

Shadow: What the hell are you doing Alex?

Alex: It says, DO NOT ENTER....it must the secret to why Dr Pepper tastes so good.

Shadow: But what if it turns out to be like that episode of Futurama. The one when they go to the Slurm factory and discover that Slurn is actually slug urine and- HEY!

Narator: Alex started walking, with Shadow following. At the end of hall, there were two doors. One said "FAKE FACTORY" and one said REAL FACTORY".

Shadow: Oh god...this is gonna turn out like Futurama. We're gonna walk in their and see a giant shiny thing excreeting Dr Pepper.

Alex: Shiny you say?

Narator: Alex continued into the REAL FACTORY door. What he and Shadow saw inside was the most disgusting thing they ever saw......THEY WERE FILMING THE SECOND CHALLENGE ON FEAR FACTOR AND THEY HAD TO EAT 50 COCKROACHES!!! EWWWWW!!!

Alex: Cool.

Shadow: Neat.

Narator: After watching a few people throwing up, they continued threw another door that said FINAL PART OF FACTORY. Now, what in here wasn't so bad. It was only a dog giving birth to babies and the babies being put into a blender.......what? Thats a lot less disgusting than cockroaches.

Alex: OH MY GOD!!! DR PEPPER IS MUSHED UP PUPPIES!!!

Shadow: *taking a sip of the blended dogs* ....not bad though.

Alex: *taking a sip*....hey! Your right.

Narator: They walked out of this area, past the people throwing up cockroach head, and back to the door that said FAKE FACTORY. Outside of it, was the tour group. They caught up with Felix.

Felix: Man you guys missed it. We drank so much Dr Pepper....I could crap puppies.

Alex: Yes you could.

Narator: And Alex, Felix, and Shadow all laughed like the Brady Bunch kids at the end of an episode.

-End- -Tune in next time when: Alex Goes on Jepardy-