A/N: Aren't you all going to love this?!? Two chapters in less than a week!! I had a snow day so I had time to write. Yay!! So here you guys go, to make up for the length of time it took me to post the last chapter you guys get another one!! Think of it as my holiday present to everyone!! Enjoy!!
Thanks to MelodyFaith and Paigefan for reviewing!!
The artificial lighting seemed to beam down on me as I lay in the uncomfortable hospital bed later that day.
Two hours before from my body had immersed a perfect bundle of joy.
Although the process had been a tiring one, it was all worth it. The feeling of giving birth was soothing and spiritual…once it was over anyway.
I looked over to the corner of the room, where in a tiny glass bassinet lay a small pink bundle.
My precious Courtney Sage.
Paul and I had never discussed what last name to give our baby, although it really didn't matter. By tomorrow she wouldn't be ours anyway.
The tears came to my eyes as that thought danced around my head. I wondered, as I lay there, watching Courtney's chest rise up and down, if the decision I had made was a smart one. Paul and I had never discussed it, but at this moment was I really looking for his say in the matter…
I had laid in that delivery room, screaming my head off, holding the hand of a nurse. Paul nowhere to be found. Mr. Holton, after having left me in the care of the hospital said he was going to go home and make sure Paul was on his way. As I watched him leave, I whispered a hoarse thank you, already calculating in my head how long it would take for Paul to come crashing through the delivery room doors. My estimation had been twenty minutes at most.
My guess had been off by hours.
He hadn't been there when Courtney arrived, when the nurses placed her in my arms, when I fed her, when she fell asleep in my arms for the first time, when she took my finger in her tiny hand, when the nurses had taken her for a check up, when I had made the decision that I had to give her up for adoption.
As hard as that decision was to make, it was even harder to deal with the aftermath. The second I uttered the words the nurses quickly took her away; their whispers vibrating through the room and sending an icy feeling through my veins. I begged them to let her stay in my room for the night till they sent her to another family in the morning and only because I began to have a panic attack when they shook their heads no did they change their minds and allow her to spend the night with me.
I wondered what it would be like for me tomorrow. To have to leave my little girl with people I had never met. It made me feel sick to my stomach. I hoped they would be nice to her, caring and warm. I secretly hoped they would someday tell her about me, although in a way I didn't want her to know. I understood what it was like to know your parents gave you up, the thoughts that ran through your head, that maybe they never loved you. That sensation of being the unloved one was not what I wanted for Courtney. Not now, not ever.
But not only did I wonder what would happen tomorrow in regards to Courtney, but also with myself. I had no one to go home with and tomorrow I was to leave the hospital, the doctor having informed me of this little issue earlier today.
Since you are giving her up for adoption you have to leave the hospital tomorrow, no later than eight o'clock. The doctor's words replaying in my head.
Why do they want to pick Courtney up so early? I had asked.
They're picking her up at noon, but you need to be gone before that. We need your bed for nursing mothers. Nursing mothers…what I would have been, but was not.
So when are you taking Courtney from me?
During the night. The doctor grimly responded.
I had just nodded too tired to say anything at the moment. I would have fought him, but what was the point in that? They were going to take Courtney from me whether I wanted her gone or not.
At that moment I heard the door of my room creak open, a figure walking in. I was too drugged and tired to tell who it was, but as he approached I realized it was Paul.
"Paige…" He said, running up to the bed, completely ignoring Courtney in the bassinet.
I turned my head, not wanting to talk to him.
"Paige, listen to me, I know you're probably angry because you think I missed you giving birth, but I had no idea. My mother never called me. I was over at the beach, remember where we went when your parents died, trying to get this wonderful table set up so that I could surprise you by going there tonight and I was running a little late because my friend Tom, who was supposed to be watching everything till I came back with you was running late. Anyway, I come home and I find my dad pacing the living room yelling at my mother. The second he hears me he runs up to me flustered. He starts saying something about you in the hospital so I start thinking the worse and then I hear him utter she's having the baby and I flip. I couldn't believe no one had tried to reach me. I tried to get here as fast as I could, but with the traffic and all it was hard." Paul huffed the words out, obviously distressed. I was unsure whether I should believe him or not, but then I remembered how calmly Mrs. Holton had reacted when she saw me going into labor and I realized she probably had made the choice to not contact Paul.
"Do you forgive me?" He asked, retrieving from inside his coat pocket two small bears, one pink and one blue. "I didn't know what we had so I figured why not get both."
"Well…why don't you find out for yourself what we had, look over there." I said, pointing toward the bassinet.
As if like a dream Paul slowly crept up to the bassinet, peeking inside. Once his gaze fell on Courtney, tears welled up in his eyes and some even managed to escape down his face. He reached down and grabbed her, walking back over toward me.
"So we had a girl huh?" He said softly, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Yep. Her name is Courtney Sage. What do you think?"
"I love it." He whispered, gently stroking Courtney's small fingers.
"I thought you would." I responded, barely above a whisper. I stared at the picture before me, my heart melting. Here, in front of my eyes, were two people I loved with all my heart. I wished I could stop time and preserve this moment forever, but life never gives you those benefits and I waited quietly for Paul to have his moment with his daughter before I told him what I had done.
"Hey there Court, I'm your daddy. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know that? Well except for mommy over there. You two are my angels, I am so happy to have you both. We are going to have so much fun together. Daddy is going to build you a pretty princess house outside so you can play in the backyard. Oh and I'm going to give you a tire swing because everyone needs a tire swing, even mommy, who isn't like normal kids, had a tire swing." Paul said laughing. "I can't wait to take you home and show you off to the world; my precious baby girl." He said planting a small kiss on her forehead, as her tiny eyes fluttered open; her soft hazel eyes staring up at Paul. I hated to have to do this to him, to us, but I had to tell Paul now, before he got too attached.
"Paul, baby, she's not coming home with us. I…I gave her up for adoption." I said, the words suddenly feeling sour on my lips, leaving me with a feeling of pure nausea.
A/N: So what will Paul's reaction be? Review and find out!! More to come soon!!
