A/N: Hey guys! Sorry it took me so long to update, but I was on vacation. I did however, manage to get pretty ahead of myself with this story so if I get lots of reviews I should be able to dish out a new chapter or two every week. So remember REVIEW!! And now on with the story…

      "You what? Why? How could you make that decision without me?"

            "Paul, baby, I'm sorry but you weren't here and I didn't want to wait. I…I thought you didn't care about Courtney so I made the decision myself. If I had known you really did care I would have thought about keeping her, but I figured you didn't care and there was no way I was going to be able to take care of her all by myself. Besides, I was thinking of doing this for awhile now." I say. I probably should tell him that I now want to keep Courtney, but what is the point in that. I can't change what I have already done.

            "But still…you could have waited!! I mean come on!!! I…I just don't understand why you would be so heartless. God knows whose going to take her, they could be horrible!!"

            "Or they could be kind and understanding, like my foster parents were. I don't understand why you are so against adoption…it really isn't such a horrible thing."

            "Paige…look at our baby girl…" Paul says, handing me Courtney. "Tell me that you don't love that precious angel in your arms; that her sweet little smile and her adorable green eyes don't just make your heart melt. Tell me!!"

            "I…I can't…"

            "So then if you can't why do you want to give her to someone else so badly? Why do you want to leave this wonderful miracle?"

            "You want to know why Paul…the real reason why? Because I want to do something with my life, because I want to have a future. I want to go to college and I want to be a social worker. I want to be successful and start a family…when I'm ready. I don't want to be a teenage mom, who never made it through high school, who struggles to put food on the table!! That's not the kind of life I want for our daughter!!! And you should be more understanding!! But no…you can't be understanding can you, because you never think of anyone but yourself!! You ran around, doing something with your life for these last nine months while I sat at home like a log, never progressing, never accomplishing anything!! So don't tell me that I shouldn't have made this decision because you have no idea what I've been through!!"

            "Are you kidding me?!?! You are telling me you haven't done anything in nine months, what bullshit is that!! I gave you everything you wanted those nine months, not to mention you held Courtney within you and nourished her…isn't she a reward for the waiting and the loss of your goals. Doesn't she mean anything to you?!?!" I know he doesn't meant it, but the words still sting me. How can he think I don't care about Courtney. I love her with every inch of my heart, that's why I have to let her go, because I love her too much to watch her live a life with me, a life that I know will be filled with nothing but heartache and despair.

            I try to utter these words to Paul, but they wouldn't come. All that comes in their place are salty tears, that race down my face in streams.

            It seems my words, or lack there of, make Paul realize what he has done, for he wraps his arms around me, bringing me closer to him.

            "I'm sorry Paige, really I am, but…but….it's just….I mean, you can't tell me you don't want her anymore."

            I take a deep breathe, preparing myself to tell him the awful truth, what I am truly thinking.

            "Okay you want to know the truth, here it is. Did I want to keep Courtney, no, I knew I wasn't the kind of person who could take care of a child, it just wasn't me. Do I want to keep her now, of course, more than I want anything in the whole world. However I can't change the decision I made. I've come to learn that life is just like that, you make stupid choices and then you have to deal with the consequences, end of story. That is why I have to just let Courtney go, because I can't do anything anymore. I just have to take a deep breathe and hope that the family that takes her under their wing will love her as much as I do at this moment." I say, the tears glazing my eyes as I stare down at my little girl who has drifted into peaceful sleep.

            "We can keep her Paige, I can get my dad to talk to the hospital, he can tell them we decided to keep the baby."

            "Paul it's not that simple, they aren't going to let your dad do that, no matter how high up on the medical ladder he is."

            "Paige they will okay? Tomorrow we are leaving this hospital with Courtney!!" Paul says, the anger in his voice rising.

            "If you're so positive that she is coming home with us than call your dad right now and get him to tell them. I want to know before tomorrow comes along." I say, hoping that maybe Paul is right and to anxious to know if he's right tomorrow.

            Paul doesn't speak, he just picks up the phone on the side table and begins dialing. I hold my breath as I faintly make out his father's voice on the other end.

            "Yes Dad…a perfectly healthy little girl…yes a girl…Courtney, isn't that just beautiful. You should see her….yes Paige is doing really good…uh-huh….tomorrow, but listen Dad that's why I called, I need you to call the hospital and tell them that Courtney Holden is no longer up for adoption…..yea Paige made the decision….dad, dad, DAD, she didn't mean it okay? It was a mistake….yes a mistake which is why we have to fix it….well call whoever you have to, you have connections, you can do anything….uh-huh….okay yea….room 23…we'll be waiting for the call…alright talk to ya in a few…thanks."

            "He hates me again huh?" I ask, bashfully.

            "No!! He doesn't hate you. He told me he was going to make some phone calls, we should know in an hour or so what happened. In the meantime you really should get some rest, you look exhausted. Have you slept at all today?"

            "Nope, too much has been going on for me to sleep…haha."

            "Haha, very funny, now come on." Paul says, taking Courtney from my hands and placing her in the bassinet. Then he pushes the recline button on the hospital bed.

            "Paul, really, I want to stay up and wait with you for your dad's call." I say, while trying to stifle a yawn.

            "I saw that yawn missy. Just go to sleep okay, I'll wake you when he calls, although I expect the phone will wake you up anyway."

            "Okay, well if you'll wake me up then maybe I can just nap for a few minutes, but no more okay, wake me up in no more than a half hour." I say, feeling my eyelids slipping closed.

*           *            *

            The half hour turned into six hours and I wake up to see Paul, off in the corner, holding Courtney in his arms, singing her a lullaby.

            "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away."

            I clap, making Paul turn around.

            "You're up." Paul says. I'm not sure but from where I am laying it looks as though he has been crying.

            "Paul, you okay?" I ask concerned.

            "Yea, I'm fine. Why?"

            "You look like you've been crying."

            "Umm…no….I'm fine." He says, gently placing Courtney in her bassinet and taking the seat next to the bed.

            "Did you sleep at all? Cause no offense but you aren't looking too hot yourself." I say jokingly.

            "No, I didn't really sleep much." Paul says, staring at the floor.

            Through the blinds I can see the early haze of daylight. Suddenly I remember that Paul's dad is supposed to call to see if Courtney can come home with us today.

            "Ohmigod Paul, did your dad call?"

            "Umm….yea…"

            "And…?"

            "Well, umm….he couldn't do anything, not on this short notice. But he said he talked to the hospital and they said they would have the family take Courtney for the next couple months, until we can sort this whole mess out and then we get to come back and take her with us."

            "But what about that poor family? Won't they get attached?"

            "Oh don't worry about it, they were only a temporary family anyway."

            "And how long would she have to stay there; with this family?"

            "I'm…I'm not really sure. It could be anywhere from three to nine months."

            "Nine months?!?!? By then she's theirs, not ours. She won't remember us, she'll be taken from what has become familiar to her, it'll be traumatic. I can't do that."

            "But Paige that's the only way. If you don't go along with this you'll never see her again."

            "Well then I guess I should say my goodbyes for the last time." 

A/N: Review!!