The Alex Chronicles

Alex goes on a Date

Disclaimer: I do not own Alex, or Golden Sun.

By-S.Duck

S.Duck: GAAAAAAAH!!! We're loosing readers.

Kyle: Hey, I thought the last few chapters were funny.

S.Duck: Thats because you got drunk before I showed them to you.

Kyle: So?

S.Duck: Besides, it's been almost a week since the last time we updated the story. Maybe two.

Kyle: I guess thats true.

S.Duck: Ok think....this chapter is Alex goes on a Date. We need to think of someone for Alex to go out with. Somebody hilarious.

Kyle: ROSANNE!!!

S.Duck: Naw, then fat people would get pissed.

Kyle: Sheik?

S.Duck: Well, while Sheik really is a woman, people who didn't know that would think their gay or something. And making fun of gay people would get us in trouble.

Kyle: How about a Canadian?

S.Duck: Why not? No one cares about Canadians.

Ivanfanatic: Nah, you can't make fun of foreign countries. Then that starts wars and crap. You need to do something different....go for people who don't care if their insulted.

S.Duck: Hippies?

Ivanfanatic: This is what I had in mind...*wispering to S.Duck*

S.Duck: YES!!! THATS BRILLIANT!!! Now for today's story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Garet: Alex. Wake your Ass up.

Narator: It was noon on a Saturday,

Alex: What the hell do you want? You know I don't wake up til 2 o' clock on Saturdays.

Garet: You've got a date.

Alex: I WHA?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Garet: I set you up on a date....in a way.

Alex: Why, may I ask?

Garet: Because I'm sick of being the only one in this house who can get a woman. When I have a party for couples, your always home and doing nothing. YOU RUIN THE WHOLE CONCEPT!!!

Alex: I care why?

Garet: So I set you up to go on that dating show. Afterwards, your gonna go Mini-golfing, see a movie, and then come back here for a party.

Alex:...

Garet: MOVE YOUR ASS! You gotta be at the studio at 1 pm.

Alex: *snore*

Garet:.......

Narator: Garet dragged Alex outa beg, took him to the bathroom and threw him in the shower, clothes on, at the coldest temperature.

Alex: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Narator: Alex took the shower, threw on his best pair of clothes, and hopped into the car (can't teleport if you don't know where your going don't you know). Garet came out with and got in the car, and drove to the studio. There, the host greeted them.

Host: Hello, and welcome to the dating game. Are you Alex?

Alex: Yeah...

Host: Ok. Now, there will be three young bachorlorette's (Note to the readers: Try to guess who the bachorlorette are before you find out. I'm just trying to make YOUR reading experience fun ^.^), and pick which ever one you wish to go out with.

Alex: Easy enough.

Host: Ok, the shows starting.

Narator: After the introduction sceene, the host introduced Alex, and started the game.

Alex: Bacholorette #1. If you could bring one item onto a desserted island for all eternity, what would you bring?

Bacholorette #1: Well, I'd have to bring my CD player to listen to ME!!!!!

Alex: Uh.....ok....Bacholorette #2. Same question.

Bacholorette #2: Well, I'd have to bring my book on how to be the WORLD BIGGEST BITCH!

Alex: uh.......k.......Bacholorette #3. Same question.

Bacholorette #3: Definatly my gun. I'd just shoot any seagulls that passed by. It would be like, BANG BANG BANG AND THERE WOULD BE COUNTLESS SEAGULLS FALLING INTO THE OCEAN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Alex: O.o???? Uh...Bacholorette #1. If you could have anything in the world, what would they be?

Bacholorette #1: Hmm......nice, big, HUGE boobies.

Alex: I'm starting to like you Bacholorette #1. Bacholorette #2. Same questio-

Bacholorette #2: Shut up. Your last comment about Bacholorette #1 was not funny. It sucked. You know nothing. You are the weakest link. Goodbye. (note to readers: If you don't know if Bacholorette #2 is by now, theres something wrong with you.)

Alex: Bitch.

Bacholorette #2: How dare you?

Bacholorette #3: Aww...shut the hell up! *BLAM*

Host: It seems the is no longer a Bacholorette #2. Onto Bacholorette #3.

Alex: Same question Bacholorette #3.

Bacholorette #3: A really, really, REALLY big gun. So I can shoot things...........DIE!!! EVERYTHING MUST DIE!!!!!! TAKE THIS ALIEN SCUM!!!!!! *BLAM*.

Audience: AHHHHH.

Host: It seems we no longer have an audience.

Bacholorette #1: Uh oh....my boobs seem to be getting bigger...

Alex: uh...

Bacholorette #1: much bigger....

Alex: I DON'T CARE WHO THE HELL SHE IS! I'M PICKING #1!!!!!!!

Host: Now, lets meet the Bacholorette's you didn't pick. Bacholorette #2 is......the ashes from the host lady from The Weakest Link (I don't remember her name).

Narator: And one of the model girls brought out the ashes in a can. She went outside and dumped them into the dumpster.

Host: Bacholorette #3 is.......Samus Aran!

Samus: You didn't pick me. I feel like......hurting someone.......DIE MODEL GIRL!!!

Model girl: *screams, followed by a blast, followed by silence*.

Host: And the Bacholorette you chose is................

Narator: Who did Alex choose? Find out...........

......right now.

Host: BRITNEY SPEARS!

Alex: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!

Britney: Hey... he looks like a chick. People will see us making out and think......nasty thoughts.

-How will Alex's date with Britney Spears go? Will people actually think nasty thoughts? And what about the rabid monkeys I didn't mention in this chapter and are ripping my hair out at this very moment? And whats up with Bill Gates and the idea of making a second X-Box when the first sucked anyhow? Find out the answers the the first two questions on: Alex goes on a Date, Part 2.-

(note to readers: I promise the next chapter will be a hell of a lot funnier. This chapter was just to build up to their date.)