Please review. PLEASE. I'm not going to keep updating a story no one reads.

* * *

Rincewind sat up. This was immeadiately proved a bad decision, as a foot was planted on his head and he was forced to the ground again. A voice above him addressed him.

"Spy! You will be shot if you move! I will notify the army of your presence, and you will be shot."

Rincewind flashed his eyes around, and saw that he was surrounded by angry looking Auriental people with crossbows. This was not anything new. Angry looking Auriental people with crossbows seemed to be something the happened to him. Rincewind sighed.

* * *

Ponder and Ridcully rushed through the halls of Unseen University.

"This is terrible! If they get mad at Rincewind and find out he's from Ankh- Morpork, they might declare war on us! This is worse than the slipknot that swallowed that classroom with the bird."

"Yeah. Oh, and the Dean was in there too."

"What!?"

"Remembered just this morning. I'd been wondering why it was so quiet."

"Well, I have no idea if any of those birds is still alive. I've gone through everything from grass to molybdenum, and-"

"Molybdenum?"

"Yes. The leader of the alchemist's guild discovered it yesterday and named it after his niece. He gave me a piece of it, and it just burned up, and WE NEED THAT FEATHER!"

"So you don't think there's any of those ducks left alive in the wild?"

"No. But if there were, we'd have to have something that could detect these ducks.

"You know, we haven't got a THING that'll do it, but we DO have people."

"Who?"

"Two. The Bursar and-"

* * *

"Eskarina Smith?" Ponder leaned in through the doorway of Classroom 67-Q. Classroom 67-Q was, a rule, never used by anyone for anything. One main reason was that it didn't exist on Teusdays. The wizards had tried throwing garbage into it, to see if it would dissapear when the classroom vanished, but is was always back on Wednesday. So now nobody did anything in it, except Esk, who rather liked the place. She looked up from the book she was reading.

"Oh. Hello, what can I do for you?'

Ponder swallowed painfully, and found he was sweating. "Erm, hi. I would like you to see if you can sense the mind of a really rare species of duck."

"That's right," boomed Ridcully, bounding in the door after Ponder, leading the Bursar by his shirtsleeve. "This one." He held up a copy of a hunting magaizine, one half folded over, showing a large brown duck. "This is the Farrell duck. It is presumed extinct, but I've gone looking for so-called extinct species before and made really sure that they were. The Bursar here has been told to act in the likeness of this duck, and from his temperment you should be able to distinguish this rare duck from all the other rare ducks that should be mounted on my wall right now." He turned to the Bursar. "You are a duck. You like the sunlight and have no fear of people. You will make a nest on or near anything, and when comfortable will not move unless you want to. You are sleek and majestic, and would look really good next to Mighty Hal the swordfish on my wall. Now go!"

The Bursar began to waddle around the room and quacked a couple times before climbing up on the desk and sinking into a sitting position.

"Perfect!" Shouted Ridcully, "That's EXACTLY what it looked like before I shot it!"

He saw the expressions on the faces of Ponder and Eskarina and closed his mouth.

"Okay," said Esk, and closed her eyes. Her mind raced through multitudes of ducks on the Ankh and in cage for sale. Suddenly, a glimmer at the Edger of her mind caught her attention. She examined it closely, then raced back to the University to compare it to the mind of the Bursar, who was shredding a desk calender to make a nest.

They were the same.

She snapped out of her trance, steadied herself, and looked at Ponder.

"I've found a duck. And you won't believe this. It's a quarter mile from here, headed Hubwards."