Chapter 12 ~ Denial
The next day they walked together a little while once more, and the next also, and it quickly became a daily ritual: to meet and walk just as they had done in Minas Tirith. She learned much from him about Ithilien and saw nearly all there was to see in the immediate vicinity of the halls.
Their slight coolness with each other after she had first arrived seemed forgotten and they managed to convince themselves that they were once more just as they had been when they had first stood together and looked out across the Pelennor: friends, enjoying one another's company, and that was all.
The Queen had made it clear that, other than some basic duties, her ladies- in-waiting were free to do as they pleased much of the time while they were in Ithilien. Elvish formality was far less than that of the court of Minas Tirith, and besides she was amongst her own kind and far more relaxed than in the Citadel. As a consequence, Fuineth had the time to take Dunnwair, her brown mare, for a ride each morning. She never strayed far, as much as anything since she did not know the area, but she had discovered a large expanse of grass nearby and she would let Dunnwair canter up and down there for a bit at least to stretch her legs a little.
About five days after their arrival, as she was saddling Dunnwair for her morning ride, she heard the soft thud of hooves as a horse was brought out of one of the stables. She looked over Dunnwair's back and saw, on the opposite side of the yard, a horse following a tall blond elf dressed in simple riding greens and greys. The elf looked at her, smiled and crossed the yard towards her, the horse following behind him.
"Lady Fuineth. I hoped I might find you here. I have the morning free. Would you mind if I joined you on your ride?"
She smiled at him as she finished tightening the last buckle, "Not at all, Lord Legolas. You are most welcome to join me. I do not go far, not knowing the countryside hereabouts, obviously. There is a patch of open ground about a mile south of here that I use to let my mare have some exercise."
He nodded, "I know the spot. Well, I think, if you will allow, I can provide a more entertaining ride than that. It will be a good opportunity for me to show something more of Ithilien."
Her smile warmed a little more, "I would like that very much, my lord. I thank you."
She climbed into the saddle, and turned Dunnwair so she was parallel to Legolas who was already astride Arod. Lord Legolas flashed her a smile, murmured a word to his steed and they moved forward and into the trees.
After some time Legolas had led them to more open country that was hilly in parts. Early spring flowers were beginning to open in the more sheltered areas, and Fuineth appreciated the change of scene very much.
They had not gone above a walking pace so far, but now Lord Legolas turned to her with a grin and asked, "Would you care for a change of speed, my lady?"
She laughed, "Why not, my lord? The horses would appreciate it I am sure."
With a word from his rider Arod sprang forward and Fuineth spurred Dunnwair into a canter and then a gallop. Lord Legolas already had quite a lead on her, and added to which she did not know the country, so she was content to follow. She could sense Dunnwair had more in her, though, and as they neared some higher ground she urged her forward. The mare struck out, quickly catching up with Arod. Lord Legolas turned, slowing Arod to a trot, to start round the base of a hill rather than up its' steep incline, and Fuineth followed suit, now riding by his side once more.
He was laughing softly as he slowed the trot to a walk and she looked quizzically at him. He caught her questioning gaze and explained, "Your mare is fast."
She smiled, "Yes indeed, my lord."
He nodded, "She has the build for speed, but that was an impressive burst she put on just then."
Fuineth grinned, "Thank you, my lord."
Just then they rounded a turn between some trees and bushes and Fuineth gasped. They were in a meadow that in spring and summer she could imagine full of flowers, birds and butterflies. It led down to the riverbank where the Anduin meandered slowly past them. Willows hung over into it, trailing their long arms into the water.
"But it is beautiful, my lord, I had no idea we were so close to the river."
Legolas smiled, and stopped Arod close to the bank. He got down from his horse. Fuineth had slowed and halted Dunnwair near to them but she did not dismount immediately and sat enraptured by the beauty of the scene in which she found herself.
Legolas came over to her and stood beside her gently patting the horse's neck. "She is a beautiful animal. She is the same you had in Rohan is she not?" Fuineth could not hide her astonishment and Legolas laughed to see it, "You are surprised I remember? How could I forget? Besides, we elves love our animals too much, especially horses, to let them easily be forgotten."
She smiled, and got down from the animal.
"What is her name?" he asked.
"Dunnwair."
He seemed puzzled, "'Wair' for wind, I presume, but I do not know 'dunn'."
They were walking now towards the river's edge and, once they reached it, they sat in the shade of a willow, looking West over the green-blue water.
"It is Rohirric, my lord, meaning a dark colour, dark brown. I suppose her name is equivalent to 'a dark wind' and it is apt indeed for she is fast."
He nodded, "So I have seen." Then he grinned, "A 'dark wind' for a 'dark lady', Lady Fuineth," laying extra emphasis on her name as he said it.
She laughed in return, "I had never thought of it before, my lord, but yes, though one name is Rohirric and the other Sindarin. Your horse is from Rohan too, is he not, my lord?"
"Yes, a gift from King Eomer. I rode him through Rohan and into battle at Helm's Deep and elsewhere. His name is Arod. He has stood by me in desperate times and yet willingly bears me still. He is a good friend."
She laughed softly and he raised an eyebrow at her, though the eyes were smiling, "You laugh at me, my lady?"
"No, not at all, my lord, forgive me. It is simply I delight in hearing elves talk in such a way about their horses. I am half Rohirrim, do not forget, and the love of horses runs strong in me but, no matter how close I may feel I am with a horse, I could never hope to have the understanding that runs between an elf and his mount."
He laughed in his turn, "True indeed, my lady. Well said."
"I do not get much opportunity to ride in Minas Tirith. I do of course, but cannot go too far: no further than the Pelennor, in truth. It is not the same as in Rohan. There I could gallop for miles. I miss it sometimes. In Eriador too, of course."
He smiled, "Then, my lady, if it pleases you, you must let me accompany you for a ride as often as we are able while you stay with us here. That way you can do that which you love, your horse will be well exercised, and I can show you Ithilien: what could be better?" He could see she was pleased with this idea.
"Thank you, my lord. You are too kind. I would enjoy that very much."
Legolas too was pleased. It gave him the perfect opportunity to be able to enjoy her company innocently enough. He was glad. He looked at her, and considered the woman sat beside him, arms wrapped round her knees, staring out over the river. Her eyes were bright and her face had a rosy glow to it after their ride. In all their times together, other than in the dance, she had seemed at her most relaxed and most free when she had been galloping on her mare. Her Rohirric spirit broken free for a fleeting moment, he thought.
She, feeling his eyes upon her, turned her face to him and smiled. "Tell me something of Lothlorien, Lord Legolas. I would fain know what it is like there. My brother has never been and I feel too shy to ask the Galadhrim. I know you have been there, have you not?"
"Yes, my lady. Several times. They are my kin."
She nodded, "And with the Fellowship too, is that not so?"
He smiled, "I think that is well known, my lady."
"Would you mind to describe it to me a little?"
"Not at all, my lady."
And so they chatted for a little while: Legolas describing to her the beauty of the Golden Wood and Galadriel while Fuineth listened, her head on her knees, watching him as he talked, till at last he stood and said, regretfully, that they should be getting back.
"I have guests to attend to, and you have duties for the Queen, I am sure."
She nodded and smiled, "You are right, my lord, but thank you for bringing me here" She looked around her, "Truly it is lovely here. And thank you for telling me of Lorien. You have awoken in my heart a desire to see it. I hope maybe I shall one day."
Legolas smiled. It pleased him more than he thought possible when she liked the places that were close to his heart.
Quickly they mounted the horses and returned to the halls, having one more race just for good measure on the way. More sure of the direction, Fuineth was able to push Dunnwair hard from the first, but she half suspected he had let her win. She told Legolas as much and they were laughing as they walked into the yard, raising not a few eyebrows from the elves tending the animals there.
Fuineth dismounted but before she could untie the saddle from Dunnwair's back an elf moved over to do it for her. Legolas smiled, "They will deal with her, leave her. You have done your duty by her by giving her a good run. Come, let us get something to eat and drink, and see what the others have been up to in our absence."
As they neared the halls, Fuineth excused herself to change out of her riding clothes, and she thanked Lord Legolas, sincerely, for their ride and their talk. He bowed, "You are very welcome, my lady. Thank you for your company. Promise me we will do this again as soon as we are able?"
She smiled and nodded, "Of course, Lord Legolas, of course."
--------------------------------------------------------
So every day they met – whether for an evening stroll, or a morning ride – and had a few stolen moments alone together. She would talk of her mother and her few memories of her father while he would talk of his father's halls in Eryn Lasgalen and his childhood there or else of places he had visited.
The bond between them grew stronger. The more they learnt about each other, the more it seemed they already knew each other and they wondered at this, but said nothing. They would not admit how they felt even to themselves, let alone to each other or anyone else.
Arwen could see the change in Fuineth, who seemed so much happier and brighter than she had been, and she was pleased for her sake and it was clear to most of the elves that knew him well that Legolas too had feelings for Fuineth but they knew better than to broach the subject.
Only Haldir had tried. Once.
It had been a little over a week after Fuineth had arrived, and Orophin and Haldir were with Legolas on his talan discussing this and that, sharing some wine, and swopping stories. At one point Elladan had arrived, saying he needed Orophin to settle something he and Rúmil were in contention over, and Haldir and Legolas were left alone.
They were silent for a moment, Legolas standing gazing out over the trees, while Haldir was lounging back in a chair sipping his wine.
"Legolas?"
"Hmmm?"
"Would you mind if I spoke to you about something?"
Legolas turned to look at him, "Why? What is it?"
"Well.. you must promise me not to get angry."
Legolas raised his eyebrows, "Why would I get angry?"
"Just promise me.."
Legolas opened his mouth, shut it again, then realised what Haldir was possibly talking about. His eyes began to narrow.
"Do I have your word?"
"Possibly..." Legolas said warily.
Haldir paused, regarding his friend seriously for a moment, and took another sip of his wine. "Legolas... I am your friend, one who loves you. If you wish to ever talk... about Lady Fuineth .."
He got no further. Legolas's face had turned black in shock and anger. Haldir murmured, "Forgive. I meant no harm, Legolas, believe me," and left hurriedly.
Legolas had been shocked, though. Rúmil had guessed in Minas Tirith, and possibly had told his brother, in fact knowing Rúmil would have definitely told his brother, but it would have taken a lot for Haldir to then mention it to Legolas as Legolas well knew. Was he really that obvious? Was it that clear to everyone?
He sighed, head in his hands, utterly lost. He so wanted to act upon this. It was not impossible, and yet it was unthinkable.
His mind wandered to images of her: laughing, dancing, riding with the wind in her hair, and his heart moved and he groaned. Ai Elbereth, what was he to do? The more time he spent with her, the more his feelings for her were becoming clear to him. The best thing would be for him to not see her, or not so often, but he couldn't help himself: the thought of not seeing her hurt him just as much as seeing her while knowing he could do nothing about how he felt. For so long he had never understood how elf and mortal could love each other. And now...
He sighed again, shook his head, drained his cup and climbed down to find the others, to go for a ride, to deal with his affairs: anything to simply keep his mind off it.
------------------------------------------------------
Eight days after Arwen's arrival her husband joined her. He arrived in the afternoon. A hunt and banquet had been arranged for the next day, after which the Galadhrim would leave while the King and his Queen, as well as her brothers, would stay on for another week or two.
Legolas was pleased to see Aragorn, and he Legolas. After the meal that night Legolas and Aragorn retired to Legolas's talan together. Legolas poured some wine and handed it to Aragorn who was leaning back on some cushions.
They talked a little while of this and that, and then Aragorn paused a little, studying his friend's face as he sipped his wine.
Legolas looked at him, "What is it?"
Aragorn shook his head, "I do not know that I dare speak to you of it, my friend." Legolas looked puzzled. Aragorn continued, "Haldir has tried, so he tells me, and got black looks for his trouble."
Legolas took a sharp intake of breath over his teeth. "I see," he said coldly and turned his back to look out at the stars.
There was a pause while Aragorn drank some more wine, regarding his friend with a sad smile. Then he put down his cup and came to stand next to him. The elf looked out into the night while the King watched him. At last he spoke, "Do not get angry, Legolas. We are your friends, and you are dear to us. We do not like to see you like this."
Legolas said nothing and Aragorn could see his jaw tight, the muscle clenching in his cheek.
Aragorn nodded, "I know what you are going through. I went through it myself. Arwen also." There was barely a movement from Legolas, but his face was immediately less tense: he was listening. "You know better than I, my friend, what the consequences may be. And it would be hard. Hard to lose someone dear to you so soon as it would seem to you .. as one day Arwen will have to do..." He broke off.
Legolas turned to him now and could see the tears in Aragorn's eyes as he in his turn now stared ahead into the night sky.
Legolas did not speak, but left his friend to his own thoughts. A shift and slight clearing of the throat told him Aragorn had composed himself and the elf then said softly, "Do you think I do not know this? Why else am I refraining from even admitting to myself how I feel about her. Better to have pain now, than to bear what I would have to face later. I do not think my heart could cope."
Aragorn nodded. "I understand. Truly. But, in truth, I have never seen you so moved by someone before, my friend. I have never seen you smile the way you do when you are with her. I could see that even tonight whenever you looked at her. Arwen has seen it too while she has been here. Seen it in you both," Legolas looked at him sharply as he said this but Aragorn continued, "..even in Osgiliath."
Legolas's brow furrowed, "Osgiliath?"
"The way you spoke of each other. It was clear even then."
Legolas looked stunned, as if this had not occurred to him before. He slowly looked away from Aragorn turning it over in his mind. Then he slowly nodded, "You are right, Estel. I think even then I knew. It moved me even in Helm's Deep to see her. And I thought about her often in those two years before I saw her again." He shook his head, tears in his eyes now, and murmured, "Ai.. ai Elbereth.." and he groaned, his head falling forward onto one hand.
Aragorn looked at him, his face filled with concern and understanding. He spoke gently, his hand on Legolas's shoulder, "Nothing is insurmountable. Only you can decide which is the greater sacrifice: to have that love, no matter its brevity; or to never know it at all."
Legolas had looked at him in surprise when Aragorn had used the word, 'love'. Aragorn laughed softly. "Well that is what it is, is it not?" and then, seeing the astonishment on Legolas's face, he shook his head and smiling he added, "Ai, Legolas, will you not even admit that much to yourself?"
There was a slight smile then on Legolas's lips, and he turned to face his friend. "I thank you, Aragorn. It has helped a little to talk with someone who knows something of what I face ahead of me."
Aragorn nodded, "Not at all, my friend. Not at all." He turned, "Come, let us charge our cups and talk of other things. Tell me about tomorrow's hunt and the dance. I am looking forward to it."
So they talked of anything but that.
Legolas felt eased in his heart by their talk somehow. Less lost, less adrift. He saw clearly the choices he must face, and now had only to decide on which path he would take.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Author's note: I know it may seem cheesey, but the 'dark wind' and 'dark lady' names connection only occurred to me as I wrote this chapter (long after the names were chosen) and it is appropriate that an elf, skilled in languages, would pick up on the connection and make a joke about it, or comment on it. Added to which -dunn is 'dark' or 'dark brown' (and she is a brown horse - and, no, I don't mean 'chestnut' *grin*), whereas fuin- means the 'night', 'darkness of nightfall', so they are two different things.
The next day they walked together a little while once more, and the next also, and it quickly became a daily ritual: to meet and walk just as they had done in Minas Tirith. She learned much from him about Ithilien and saw nearly all there was to see in the immediate vicinity of the halls.
Their slight coolness with each other after she had first arrived seemed forgotten and they managed to convince themselves that they were once more just as they had been when they had first stood together and looked out across the Pelennor: friends, enjoying one another's company, and that was all.
The Queen had made it clear that, other than some basic duties, her ladies- in-waiting were free to do as they pleased much of the time while they were in Ithilien. Elvish formality was far less than that of the court of Minas Tirith, and besides she was amongst her own kind and far more relaxed than in the Citadel. As a consequence, Fuineth had the time to take Dunnwair, her brown mare, for a ride each morning. She never strayed far, as much as anything since she did not know the area, but she had discovered a large expanse of grass nearby and she would let Dunnwair canter up and down there for a bit at least to stretch her legs a little.
About five days after their arrival, as she was saddling Dunnwair for her morning ride, she heard the soft thud of hooves as a horse was brought out of one of the stables. She looked over Dunnwair's back and saw, on the opposite side of the yard, a horse following a tall blond elf dressed in simple riding greens and greys. The elf looked at her, smiled and crossed the yard towards her, the horse following behind him.
"Lady Fuineth. I hoped I might find you here. I have the morning free. Would you mind if I joined you on your ride?"
She smiled at him as she finished tightening the last buckle, "Not at all, Lord Legolas. You are most welcome to join me. I do not go far, not knowing the countryside hereabouts, obviously. There is a patch of open ground about a mile south of here that I use to let my mare have some exercise."
He nodded, "I know the spot. Well, I think, if you will allow, I can provide a more entertaining ride than that. It will be a good opportunity for me to show something more of Ithilien."
Her smile warmed a little more, "I would like that very much, my lord. I thank you."
She climbed into the saddle, and turned Dunnwair so she was parallel to Legolas who was already astride Arod. Lord Legolas flashed her a smile, murmured a word to his steed and they moved forward and into the trees.
After some time Legolas had led them to more open country that was hilly in parts. Early spring flowers were beginning to open in the more sheltered areas, and Fuineth appreciated the change of scene very much.
They had not gone above a walking pace so far, but now Lord Legolas turned to her with a grin and asked, "Would you care for a change of speed, my lady?"
She laughed, "Why not, my lord? The horses would appreciate it I am sure."
With a word from his rider Arod sprang forward and Fuineth spurred Dunnwair into a canter and then a gallop. Lord Legolas already had quite a lead on her, and added to which she did not know the country, so she was content to follow. She could sense Dunnwair had more in her, though, and as they neared some higher ground she urged her forward. The mare struck out, quickly catching up with Arod. Lord Legolas turned, slowing Arod to a trot, to start round the base of a hill rather than up its' steep incline, and Fuineth followed suit, now riding by his side once more.
He was laughing softly as he slowed the trot to a walk and she looked quizzically at him. He caught her questioning gaze and explained, "Your mare is fast."
She smiled, "Yes indeed, my lord."
He nodded, "She has the build for speed, but that was an impressive burst she put on just then."
Fuineth grinned, "Thank you, my lord."
Just then they rounded a turn between some trees and bushes and Fuineth gasped. They were in a meadow that in spring and summer she could imagine full of flowers, birds and butterflies. It led down to the riverbank where the Anduin meandered slowly past them. Willows hung over into it, trailing their long arms into the water.
"But it is beautiful, my lord, I had no idea we were so close to the river."
Legolas smiled, and stopped Arod close to the bank. He got down from his horse. Fuineth had slowed and halted Dunnwair near to them but she did not dismount immediately and sat enraptured by the beauty of the scene in which she found herself.
Legolas came over to her and stood beside her gently patting the horse's neck. "She is a beautiful animal. She is the same you had in Rohan is she not?" Fuineth could not hide her astonishment and Legolas laughed to see it, "You are surprised I remember? How could I forget? Besides, we elves love our animals too much, especially horses, to let them easily be forgotten."
She smiled, and got down from the animal.
"What is her name?" he asked.
"Dunnwair."
He seemed puzzled, "'Wair' for wind, I presume, but I do not know 'dunn'."
They were walking now towards the river's edge and, once they reached it, they sat in the shade of a willow, looking West over the green-blue water.
"It is Rohirric, my lord, meaning a dark colour, dark brown. I suppose her name is equivalent to 'a dark wind' and it is apt indeed for she is fast."
He nodded, "So I have seen." Then he grinned, "A 'dark wind' for a 'dark lady', Lady Fuineth," laying extra emphasis on her name as he said it.
She laughed in return, "I had never thought of it before, my lord, but yes, though one name is Rohirric and the other Sindarin. Your horse is from Rohan too, is he not, my lord?"
"Yes, a gift from King Eomer. I rode him through Rohan and into battle at Helm's Deep and elsewhere. His name is Arod. He has stood by me in desperate times and yet willingly bears me still. He is a good friend."
She laughed softly and he raised an eyebrow at her, though the eyes were smiling, "You laugh at me, my lady?"
"No, not at all, my lord, forgive me. It is simply I delight in hearing elves talk in such a way about their horses. I am half Rohirrim, do not forget, and the love of horses runs strong in me but, no matter how close I may feel I am with a horse, I could never hope to have the understanding that runs between an elf and his mount."
He laughed in his turn, "True indeed, my lady. Well said."
"I do not get much opportunity to ride in Minas Tirith. I do of course, but cannot go too far: no further than the Pelennor, in truth. It is not the same as in Rohan. There I could gallop for miles. I miss it sometimes. In Eriador too, of course."
He smiled, "Then, my lady, if it pleases you, you must let me accompany you for a ride as often as we are able while you stay with us here. That way you can do that which you love, your horse will be well exercised, and I can show you Ithilien: what could be better?" He could see she was pleased with this idea.
"Thank you, my lord. You are too kind. I would enjoy that very much."
Legolas too was pleased. It gave him the perfect opportunity to be able to enjoy her company innocently enough. He was glad. He looked at her, and considered the woman sat beside him, arms wrapped round her knees, staring out over the river. Her eyes were bright and her face had a rosy glow to it after their ride. In all their times together, other than in the dance, she had seemed at her most relaxed and most free when she had been galloping on her mare. Her Rohirric spirit broken free for a fleeting moment, he thought.
She, feeling his eyes upon her, turned her face to him and smiled. "Tell me something of Lothlorien, Lord Legolas. I would fain know what it is like there. My brother has never been and I feel too shy to ask the Galadhrim. I know you have been there, have you not?"
"Yes, my lady. Several times. They are my kin."
She nodded, "And with the Fellowship too, is that not so?"
He smiled, "I think that is well known, my lady."
"Would you mind to describe it to me a little?"
"Not at all, my lady."
And so they chatted for a little while: Legolas describing to her the beauty of the Golden Wood and Galadriel while Fuineth listened, her head on her knees, watching him as he talked, till at last he stood and said, regretfully, that they should be getting back.
"I have guests to attend to, and you have duties for the Queen, I am sure."
She nodded and smiled, "You are right, my lord, but thank you for bringing me here" She looked around her, "Truly it is lovely here. And thank you for telling me of Lorien. You have awoken in my heart a desire to see it. I hope maybe I shall one day."
Legolas smiled. It pleased him more than he thought possible when she liked the places that were close to his heart.
Quickly they mounted the horses and returned to the halls, having one more race just for good measure on the way. More sure of the direction, Fuineth was able to push Dunnwair hard from the first, but she half suspected he had let her win. She told Legolas as much and they were laughing as they walked into the yard, raising not a few eyebrows from the elves tending the animals there.
Fuineth dismounted but before she could untie the saddle from Dunnwair's back an elf moved over to do it for her. Legolas smiled, "They will deal with her, leave her. You have done your duty by her by giving her a good run. Come, let us get something to eat and drink, and see what the others have been up to in our absence."
As they neared the halls, Fuineth excused herself to change out of her riding clothes, and she thanked Lord Legolas, sincerely, for their ride and their talk. He bowed, "You are very welcome, my lady. Thank you for your company. Promise me we will do this again as soon as we are able?"
She smiled and nodded, "Of course, Lord Legolas, of course."
--------------------------------------------------------
So every day they met – whether for an evening stroll, or a morning ride – and had a few stolen moments alone together. She would talk of her mother and her few memories of her father while he would talk of his father's halls in Eryn Lasgalen and his childhood there or else of places he had visited.
The bond between them grew stronger. The more they learnt about each other, the more it seemed they already knew each other and they wondered at this, but said nothing. They would not admit how they felt even to themselves, let alone to each other or anyone else.
Arwen could see the change in Fuineth, who seemed so much happier and brighter than she had been, and she was pleased for her sake and it was clear to most of the elves that knew him well that Legolas too had feelings for Fuineth but they knew better than to broach the subject.
Only Haldir had tried. Once.
It had been a little over a week after Fuineth had arrived, and Orophin and Haldir were with Legolas on his talan discussing this and that, sharing some wine, and swopping stories. At one point Elladan had arrived, saying he needed Orophin to settle something he and Rúmil were in contention over, and Haldir and Legolas were left alone.
They were silent for a moment, Legolas standing gazing out over the trees, while Haldir was lounging back in a chair sipping his wine.
"Legolas?"
"Hmmm?"
"Would you mind if I spoke to you about something?"
Legolas turned to look at him, "Why? What is it?"
"Well.. you must promise me not to get angry."
Legolas raised his eyebrows, "Why would I get angry?"
"Just promise me.."
Legolas opened his mouth, shut it again, then realised what Haldir was possibly talking about. His eyes began to narrow.
"Do I have your word?"
"Possibly..." Legolas said warily.
Haldir paused, regarding his friend seriously for a moment, and took another sip of his wine. "Legolas... I am your friend, one who loves you. If you wish to ever talk... about Lady Fuineth .."
He got no further. Legolas's face had turned black in shock and anger. Haldir murmured, "Forgive. I meant no harm, Legolas, believe me," and left hurriedly.
Legolas had been shocked, though. Rúmil had guessed in Minas Tirith, and possibly had told his brother, in fact knowing Rúmil would have definitely told his brother, but it would have taken a lot for Haldir to then mention it to Legolas as Legolas well knew. Was he really that obvious? Was it that clear to everyone?
He sighed, head in his hands, utterly lost. He so wanted to act upon this. It was not impossible, and yet it was unthinkable.
His mind wandered to images of her: laughing, dancing, riding with the wind in her hair, and his heart moved and he groaned. Ai Elbereth, what was he to do? The more time he spent with her, the more his feelings for her were becoming clear to him. The best thing would be for him to not see her, or not so often, but he couldn't help himself: the thought of not seeing her hurt him just as much as seeing her while knowing he could do nothing about how he felt. For so long he had never understood how elf and mortal could love each other. And now...
He sighed again, shook his head, drained his cup and climbed down to find the others, to go for a ride, to deal with his affairs: anything to simply keep his mind off it.
------------------------------------------------------
Eight days after Arwen's arrival her husband joined her. He arrived in the afternoon. A hunt and banquet had been arranged for the next day, after which the Galadhrim would leave while the King and his Queen, as well as her brothers, would stay on for another week or two.
Legolas was pleased to see Aragorn, and he Legolas. After the meal that night Legolas and Aragorn retired to Legolas's talan together. Legolas poured some wine and handed it to Aragorn who was leaning back on some cushions.
They talked a little while of this and that, and then Aragorn paused a little, studying his friend's face as he sipped his wine.
Legolas looked at him, "What is it?"
Aragorn shook his head, "I do not know that I dare speak to you of it, my friend." Legolas looked puzzled. Aragorn continued, "Haldir has tried, so he tells me, and got black looks for his trouble."
Legolas took a sharp intake of breath over his teeth. "I see," he said coldly and turned his back to look out at the stars.
There was a pause while Aragorn drank some more wine, regarding his friend with a sad smile. Then he put down his cup and came to stand next to him. The elf looked out into the night while the King watched him. At last he spoke, "Do not get angry, Legolas. We are your friends, and you are dear to us. We do not like to see you like this."
Legolas said nothing and Aragorn could see his jaw tight, the muscle clenching in his cheek.
Aragorn nodded, "I know what you are going through. I went through it myself. Arwen also." There was barely a movement from Legolas, but his face was immediately less tense: he was listening. "You know better than I, my friend, what the consequences may be. And it would be hard. Hard to lose someone dear to you so soon as it would seem to you .. as one day Arwen will have to do..." He broke off.
Legolas turned to him now and could see the tears in Aragorn's eyes as he in his turn now stared ahead into the night sky.
Legolas did not speak, but left his friend to his own thoughts. A shift and slight clearing of the throat told him Aragorn had composed himself and the elf then said softly, "Do you think I do not know this? Why else am I refraining from even admitting to myself how I feel about her. Better to have pain now, than to bear what I would have to face later. I do not think my heart could cope."
Aragorn nodded. "I understand. Truly. But, in truth, I have never seen you so moved by someone before, my friend. I have never seen you smile the way you do when you are with her. I could see that even tonight whenever you looked at her. Arwen has seen it too while she has been here. Seen it in you both," Legolas looked at him sharply as he said this but Aragorn continued, "..even in Osgiliath."
Legolas's brow furrowed, "Osgiliath?"
"The way you spoke of each other. It was clear even then."
Legolas looked stunned, as if this had not occurred to him before. He slowly looked away from Aragorn turning it over in his mind. Then he slowly nodded, "You are right, Estel. I think even then I knew. It moved me even in Helm's Deep to see her. And I thought about her often in those two years before I saw her again." He shook his head, tears in his eyes now, and murmured, "Ai.. ai Elbereth.." and he groaned, his head falling forward onto one hand.
Aragorn looked at him, his face filled with concern and understanding. He spoke gently, his hand on Legolas's shoulder, "Nothing is insurmountable. Only you can decide which is the greater sacrifice: to have that love, no matter its brevity; or to never know it at all."
Legolas had looked at him in surprise when Aragorn had used the word, 'love'. Aragorn laughed softly. "Well that is what it is, is it not?" and then, seeing the astonishment on Legolas's face, he shook his head and smiling he added, "Ai, Legolas, will you not even admit that much to yourself?"
There was a slight smile then on Legolas's lips, and he turned to face his friend. "I thank you, Aragorn. It has helped a little to talk with someone who knows something of what I face ahead of me."
Aragorn nodded, "Not at all, my friend. Not at all." He turned, "Come, let us charge our cups and talk of other things. Tell me about tomorrow's hunt and the dance. I am looking forward to it."
So they talked of anything but that.
Legolas felt eased in his heart by their talk somehow. Less lost, less adrift. He saw clearly the choices he must face, and now had only to decide on which path he would take.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Author's note: I know it may seem cheesey, but the 'dark wind' and 'dark lady' names connection only occurred to me as I wrote this chapter (long after the names were chosen) and it is appropriate that an elf, skilled in languages, would pick up on the connection and make a joke about it, or comment on it. Added to which -dunn is 'dark' or 'dark brown' (and she is a brown horse - and, no, I don't mean 'chestnut' *grin*), whereas fuin- means the 'night', 'darkness of nightfall', so they are two different things.
