Disc-laimer: See Previous.
* * *
Before we start, remember the lava-lamp reference a few chapters ago? I thought of that with help, and, unfortunately, the person who suggested this to me has passed away since I last wrote.
BENE MEMORIAM: my Lava Lamp 1997-2003
* * *
Uyidako led Rincewind away from the village along a winding trail that was so unpredictable someone who was particularly squeamish would have gotten motion sickness. The jungle hooted and made noises in an uninterested way, and soon they were out on what could have been a swamp.
It was a rice paddy, which was not currently being attended to but was instead guarded by a small cluster of the Throng Army and some of what could only have been the Ephebie marines. Uyidako and Rincewind walked along a path until they reached the island, which was only slightly above the water level and which was covered by a total of six sick looking trees.
"Come over here. Hurry!" Uyidako threw Rincewind at the base of one tree, next to a marine who was behind something which looked like a crossbow with a plumbing. It was huge, and looked almost like a siege weapon, except that instead of a pull back string it had an iron pipe which appeared to take a string of arrows which were fed into it. Actually they were strung together and hanging out the side, but Rincewind made an educated guess.
"Hi," said the Marine, without turning around. "I'm Ptroleus. We're waiting for an attack."
"Won't they automatically shoot at this island?" asked Rincewind.
"Nah. They thing we're over there-" the man pointed to a small island all the above-water roads lead to. It was cropped neatly and on it were sitting large carriage-like devices. They were large cages with cartwheels on the sides. But there were also large arms from the top that held in place giant pontoons on either side. An amphibious vehicle.
"Yep," continued Ptroleus, "That island actually has a secret escape tunnel and is fortified with concrete from Morpork. It's considerably better defended than this here."
"Then why aren't we over there?"
"Because the enemy-" Suddenly there was a roar. It was the sound of something dangerously large moving impossibly fast. Over the horizon, which was rice paddies as far as could be seen, was a soldier. He was rather oddly dressed, Rincewind thought; head to toe in the same shade of blue- green. He'd heard of this being done in Lancre and other placed up the Ramtops. That was good. This was a scare tactic. If they were trying to scare him, perhaps their fighting skills weren't particularly good. That was a good sign. He continued watching, and there was something wrong with it. The enemy kept getting bigger. And bigger. He estimated he was a quarter mile off and they already looked twice the size of a normal person in ratio to the paddies.
"I believe they speak for themselves," said Ptroleus.
"What is it?" breathed Rincewind.
"A Walking Suit."
* * *
"Ooooo!" was the first thing Leonard of Quirm said when he saw Hex. "What intricate skill, what detail!" He then stood still and quietly examined the tubes.
"Can you fix it?" ventured Ponder after about half an hour of dead silence.
"Hmm? Oh of course. I was just seeing how I could make it deduce taxes as well. Here." He took Ponder's feather, which was sitting in a glass case, and rewrapped the wire around it. He picked up some spare glass piped and began refitting then to make up for the old ones. Ponder stood amazed. He had been the only person who could understand Hex, and then the man was retrieved and after half an hour he knew just what to do. He fitted piece after piece into place and Ponder was amazed when the mirror display came back up. It was just where it had been left
+++Transmit again? Yes= green switch No= orange switch+++_
Leonard bumped something in the working and the screen read:
+++INPUT= Yes+++
+++NOW TRANSMITTING+++
A second to late, Ponder realized what was happening.
"Leonard, no!"
The crossbow flashed green again. A second later, a huge piece of green copper appeared and crashed to the ground behind Ponder, filling most of the entire room.
* * *
The gigantic metal man was now perhaps a hundred yards off and was making a noise like a mine elevator. It was holding a giant copper spear, and was up to its knees in the paddies. Ptroleus yelled something to the person behind the pipe-bow, who hastily yanked out the string of arrows and fed in a new one. On the tips of the new arrows were lumps of thunder clay. Rincewind swallowed.
"NOW!"
The man behind the pipe-bow started turning a crank on the side, and the arrows shot out the end of it. Gattlegattlegattlegattlegattle. The arrows hit the suit and exploded, some times making holes in it. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, a large piece of the chest plate vanished, and Rincewind could have sworn there was something in its place for a second. The suit suddenly lurched, though the arrows had stop coming while the bowman reloaded it, and the suit fell over. It simply tipped sideways and back and fell over on its side in the rice paddy. There was dead silence.
"What the hell?" said Ptroleus.
"I think it's dead," said Rincewind. Uyidako and the various marines breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let's go check it out."
* * *
Before we start, remember the lava-lamp reference a few chapters ago? I thought of that with help, and, unfortunately, the person who suggested this to me has passed away since I last wrote.
BENE MEMORIAM: my Lava Lamp 1997-2003
* * *
Uyidako led Rincewind away from the village along a winding trail that was so unpredictable someone who was particularly squeamish would have gotten motion sickness. The jungle hooted and made noises in an uninterested way, and soon they were out on what could have been a swamp.
It was a rice paddy, which was not currently being attended to but was instead guarded by a small cluster of the Throng Army and some of what could only have been the Ephebie marines. Uyidako and Rincewind walked along a path until they reached the island, which was only slightly above the water level and which was covered by a total of six sick looking trees.
"Come over here. Hurry!" Uyidako threw Rincewind at the base of one tree, next to a marine who was behind something which looked like a crossbow with a plumbing. It was huge, and looked almost like a siege weapon, except that instead of a pull back string it had an iron pipe which appeared to take a string of arrows which were fed into it. Actually they were strung together and hanging out the side, but Rincewind made an educated guess.
"Hi," said the Marine, without turning around. "I'm Ptroleus. We're waiting for an attack."
"Won't they automatically shoot at this island?" asked Rincewind.
"Nah. They thing we're over there-" the man pointed to a small island all the above-water roads lead to. It was cropped neatly and on it were sitting large carriage-like devices. They were large cages with cartwheels on the sides. But there were also large arms from the top that held in place giant pontoons on either side. An amphibious vehicle.
"Yep," continued Ptroleus, "That island actually has a secret escape tunnel and is fortified with concrete from Morpork. It's considerably better defended than this here."
"Then why aren't we over there?"
"Because the enemy-" Suddenly there was a roar. It was the sound of something dangerously large moving impossibly fast. Over the horizon, which was rice paddies as far as could be seen, was a soldier. He was rather oddly dressed, Rincewind thought; head to toe in the same shade of blue- green. He'd heard of this being done in Lancre and other placed up the Ramtops. That was good. This was a scare tactic. If they were trying to scare him, perhaps their fighting skills weren't particularly good. That was a good sign. He continued watching, and there was something wrong with it. The enemy kept getting bigger. And bigger. He estimated he was a quarter mile off and they already looked twice the size of a normal person in ratio to the paddies.
"I believe they speak for themselves," said Ptroleus.
"What is it?" breathed Rincewind.
"A Walking Suit."
* * *
"Ooooo!" was the first thing Leonard of Quirm said when he saw Hex. "What intricate skill, what detail!" He then stood still and quietly examined the tubes.
"Can you fix it?" ventured Ponder after about half an hour of dead silence.
"Hmm? Oh of course. I was just seeing how I could make it deduce taxes as well. Here." He took Ponder's feather, which was sitting in a glass case, and rewrapped the wire around it. He picked up some spare glass piped and began refitting then to make up for the old ones. Ponder stood amazed. He had been the only person who could understand Hex, and then the man was retrieved and after half an hour he knew just what to do. He fitted piece after piece into place and Ponder was amazed when the mirror display came back up. It was just where it had been left
+++Transmit again? Yes= green switch No= orange switch+++_
Leonard bumped something in the working and the screen read:
+++INPUT= Yes+++
+++NOW TRANSMITTING+++
A second to late, Ponder realized what was happening.
"Leonard, no!"
The crossbow flashed green again. A second later, a huge piece of green copper appeared and crashed to the ground behind Ponder, filling most of the entire room.
* * *
The gigantic metal man was now perhaps a hundred yards off and was making a noise like a mine elevator. It was holding a giant copper spear, and was up to its knees in the paddies. Ptroleus yelled something to the person behind the pipe-bow, who hastily yanked out the string of arrows and fed in a new one. On the tips of the new arrows were lumps of thunder clay. Rincewind swallowed.
"NOW!"
The man behind the pipe-bow started turning a crank on the side, and the arrows shot out the end of it. Gattlegattlegattlegattlegattle. The arrows hit the suit and exploded, some times making holes in it. Suddenly, and for no apparent reason, a large piece of the chest plate vanished, and Rincewind could have sworn there was something in its place for a second. The suit suddenly lurched, though the arrows had stop coming while the bowman reloaded it, and the suit fell over. It simply tipped sideways and back and fell over on its side in the rice paddy. There was dead silence.
"What the hell?" said Ptroleus.
"I think it's dead," said Rincewind. Uyidako and the various marines breathed a sigh of relief.
"Let's go check it out."
