Disc-laimer: Oh the hell with it.
* * *
"Oh great. We lost da Quirm."
"Vetinari is going to be all over you for this, Mustrum."
"Shut up!"
"And once we have finished carving our gourd, we can place a candle inside and-"
"SHUT UP!" There was dead silence. "Okay. I must agree with Stibbons that we need to get Rincewind back, so we need a way to get there really, really fast. Now does anyone have any idea how we can get there WITHOUT using this contraption."
There was a pause.
"There is one way," said Esk, quietly.
"Well, yes, what kind of a world would this be if there weren't. Let's go."
"It's in the Beastaries.
* * *
There has evolved, in the great Nef, a plethora of anti-water fish. A really good example of this is the Flapjack Fish. ANY fish could fly, if it put its mind to it, but only the two-inch by twenty feet by twenty feet Flapjack Fish can hover. The Flapjack fish is believed to have evolved up from the sand dollar and, when the wind is right, can hover as high or low off the ground as it wants. It is possibly the largest Frisbee in the world and is a real bastard to ride. Esk was having trouble controlling its mind. The wizards were all standing on its back*, and Ponder was holding Esk's body while she was out. It is sort of like holding female undergarments while your wife is in the changing room. Esk was trying to figure out how to work the Flapjack fish, which had no sense of balance and had a brain function with no sense of balance or coordination. In short they were two hundred feet up and ten miles away from Ankh-Morpork.
_____
*Except for Ridcully, who had a tanning mirror and a lawn chair.
* * *
Ptroleus peered inside the hole in the Walking suit.
"Antimony, keep the Gattle Bow up and if you see anything move, shoot it."
"Why? I was only trying to adjust that one lever. Is that you, Mr. Ridcully?
* * *
Very quietly, in another part of the Jungle not too far away, there was a discussion underway.
"What is the status of the Switch' Off Perimeter?"
"We sent a walking suit over today."
"How did it fair?"
"I would not be surprised if it killed a hundred of them. We haven't heard back, but Switch' off cannot hold much longer."
"I have kept my promise. I will find the leaders if they have survived, and when the time is right I will turn them over to you."
"The Agatean Empire will honor you greatly for this."
"And then, Pot Pan, we will have rid Pseudoagatea of foreign power, and the Aurient will be the Empire's alone."
* * *
"Oh great. We lost da Quirm."
"Vetinari is going to be all over you for this, Mustrum."
"Shut up!"
"And once we have finished carving our gourd, we can place a candle inside and-"
"SHUT UP!" There was dead silence. "Okay. I must agree with Stibbons that we need to get Rincewind back, so we need a way to get there really, really fast. Now does anyone have any idea how we can get there WITHOUT using this contraption."
There was a pause.
"There is one way," said Esk, quietly.
"Well, yes, what kind of a world would this be if there weren't. Let's go."
"It's in the Beastaries.
* * *
There has evolved, in the great Nef, a plethora of anti-water fish. A really good example of this is the Flapjack Fish. ANY fish could fly, if it put its mind to it, but only the two-inch by twenty feet by twenty feet Flapjack Fish can hover. The Flapjack fish is believed to have evolved up from the sand dollar and, when the wind is right, can hover as high or low off the ground as it wants. It is possibly the largest Frisbee in the world and is a real bastard to ride. Esk was having trouble controlling its mind. The wizards were all standing on its back*, and Ponder was holding Esk's body while she was out. It is sort of like holding female undergarments while your wife is in the changing room. Esk was trying to figure out how to work the Flapjack fish, which had no sense of balance and had a brain function with no sense of balance or coordination. In short they were two hundred feet up and ten miles away from Ankh-Morpork.
_____
*Except for Ridcully, who had a tanning mirror and a lawn chair.
* * *
Ptroleus peered inside the hole in the Walking suit.
"Antimony, keep the Gattle Bow up and if you see anything move, shoot it."
"Why? I was only trying to adjust that one lever. Is that you, Mr. Ridcully?
* * *
Very quietly, in another part of the Jungle not too far away, there was a discussion underway.
"What is the status of the Switch' Off Perimeter?"
"We sent a walking suit over today."
"How did it fair?"
"I would not be surprised if it killed a hundred of them. We haven't heard back, but Switch' off cannot hold much longer."
"I have kept my promise. I will find the leaders if they have survived, and when the time is right I will turn them over to you."
"The Agatean Empire will honor you greatly for this."
"And then, Pot Pan, we will have rid Pseudoagatea of foreign power, and the Aurient will be the Empire's alone."
