I'm cranking out these chapters as fast as I dare without compromising
quality, which, judging by the fact that there are people who are still
discovering this thing and reading it from start to finish (should there
ever be one), is high.
*
The Magnolia Guy glanced at his watch.
6:33 minutes till he dropped the Bomb.
He wondered again what kind of explosion would result.
*
Uyidako couldn't find Xu Chu anywhere, and it was starting to bother her.
Not quite as much as watching Leonard of Quirm put together a frothing drinks machine out of spare pipes and an Ephebian Fire-thrower, but close.
"Leonard?"
"Yes, miss?"
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Well, when you put in a 20-Bong coin and pull this crossbow trigger, it dispenses hot chocolate. Assuming we can find some chocolate. I wonder if I can make some out of the plants you have growing around here?"
"You put in a coin in and it gives you hot chocolate?" She knew what chocolate was; it was one of the things you could get with an open-market economy.
"Yes."
She smiled. She couldn't remember when she'd last smiled, but here was this funny little man building a hot chocolate machine hours before the battle that would decide the fate of a country. Or two countries, if their side won.
Leonard grinned back. "I shall call it," he cleared his throat, "The machine which dispenses hot drinks to Pseudoagatean Misses, since I think the men all drink beer."
"Pseudoagatean Mrs.?"
"Misses being plural of miss. Look." Leonard took one of his paint brushes and wrote
PSEUODOAGATEAN MISS
On the front of the tank.
"Oh. I think I like that. Pseudoagatean Miss Hot Chocolate. It sounds very pleasant."
"I guess that makes you Miss Pseudoagatea then."
*
Rincewind had confirmed Leonard's theory about men liking beer. The Orange Agents were slumped over at the bar of one of the smaller drinking establishments in town. Most of the big ones had burned like torches when the Agateans bombed them, so all the remaining establishments were quite packed.
He found them, and ran over.
"Quick, do you know how I could get out of here before we get our asses bombed?"
"Nope," said the nearest Agent. "If we'd known we'd be gone by now."
"Don't you want to stay and fight?"
"No. I think I'll just sit here and if I'm alive at the end, good, if not, I'm certainly not going to feel it happen." He reached groggily for his latest drink, a martini, and sitting up and putting on an air of dignity, missed his mouth with it and threw it over his shoulder.
*
Leonard of Quirm was carefully concocting a paste made largely of powdered soybeans. He had added various other ingredients, including some he'd had to invent, and now had a passable chocolate. He poured himself a frothing cup while Uyidako loaded the last of the rocket batteries.
*
Lord Hong's ship quietly swung around into a cove about two miles Widdershins of Switch' off, and docked next to a small broken down building. Lord Hong stepped nimbly out onto the crumbling pier and scuttled into the building, closely followed by his guards. Then there was silence.
*
The Magnolia Guy glanced again at his watch. 6:24 minutes. He pulled out an older copy of Alchemy News.
He glanced over a few articles. It is worth wondering how the future might have been different had he noticed the one titled 'Thaum Bomb? Leading wizard postulates the possibility of splitting the Thaum.'
Or if Ponder had ever noticed he had been referred to as a 'leading wizard'.
*
The Luggage had finally bitten off the rope holding the weight, and floated to the surface.
It was about fifty miles behind the fleet, and it suddenly decided that now was as good a time as any for revenge.
It began to close the gap.
*
Uyidako sipped Leonard's beverage gingerly, then in gulps. It was almost like chocolate.
"Would you believe the main ingredients are soy and figs?" said Leonard.
*
Rincewind had managed to get the Orange Agents to their feet and was helping them walk over to the beach, where he walked them out onto the end of the pier and pushed them into the water.
*
Victor Tugelbend was reviewing the schematics for what he had concluded was the transportation device. He had been told by one of the wizards what had happened and was now trying to rectify the problem. The sooner he could get them back, the sooner he could figure out of they were still alive.
*
There were a LOT of boats. There were the frigates and the galleons and great huge floating platforms on which the Walking Suits lay, lying down for stability.
The luggage was getting closer. The gap was down to about forty-eight miles now.
*
Lord Hong pushed aside the curtain to the back room, and seated himself at the table. His guards automatically took up positions at the door and the windows.
"Greetings," he said.
"Greetings," said the other person at the table. He lit a lantern and hung it from a peg in the ceiling.
"How go the plans?" asked Lord Hong politely.
"Quite well," said Xu Chu.
*
6:19. The Magnolia guy finished the article about werewolf depression and skimmed the one on Antipasta.
*
Victor looked at the circuitry. It was so complex he realized with surprising speed the fact that it was probably quite simple and dolled up to impress and intimidate anyone trying to grasp its concepts. He double- checked Ponder's design and began to pull the wiring apart slowly.
*
Off in his own personal universe the Dean was really getting pissed. They were running out of air, though the brief stop in that other universe had temporarily replenished them, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could spend with the students.
Students were to the UU staff what sulfuric acid was to most metals.
He ran through the spells, incantations, and basic geometry he was going to need to arrive on the Discworld again.
He hoped it would be the outside of the Discworld.
*
The Prophesy of the Pseudoagateans and the Ephebians would, quite shortly, be either exalted as the truth or crushed into the annals of history as a foolish lie.
R&R
Or flame.
SAY SOMETHING!
-Mobius Shadow
*
The Magnolia Guy glanced at his watch.
6:33 minutes till he dropped the Bomb.
He wondered again what kind of explosion would result.
*
Uyidako couldn't find Xu Chu anywhere, and it was starting to bother her.
Not quite as much as watching Leonard of Quirm put together a frothing drinks machine out of spare pipes and an Ephebian Fire-thrower, but close.
"Leonard?"
"Yes, miss?"
"What are you going to do with that?"
"Well, when you put in a 20-Bong coin and pull this crossbow trigger, it dispenses hot chocolate. Assuming we can find some chocolate. I wonder if I can make some out of the plants you have growing around here?"
"You put in a coin in and it gives you hot chocolate?" She knew what chocolate was; it was one of the things you could get with an open-market economy.
"Yes."
She smiled. She couldn't remember when she'd last smiled, but here was this funny little man building a hot chocolate machine hours before the battle that would decide the fate of a country. Or two countries, if their side won.
Leonard grinned back. "I shall call it," he cleared his throat, "The machine which dispenses hot drinks to Pseudoagatean Misses, since I think the men all drink beer."
"Pseudoagatean Mrs.?"
"Misses being plural of miss. Look." Leonard took one of his paint brushes and wrote
PSEUODOAGATEAN MISS
On the front of the tank.
"Oh. I think I like that. Pseudoagatean Miss Hot Chocolate. It sounds very pleasant."
"I guess that makes you Miss Pseudoagatea then."
*
Rincewind had confirmed Leonard's theory about men liking beer. The Orange Agents were slumped over at the bar of one of the smaller drinking establishments in town. Most of the big ones had burned like torches when the Agateans bombed them, so all the remaining establishments were quite packed.
He found them, and ran over.
"Quick, do you know how I could get out of here before we get our asses bombed?"
"Nope," said the nearest Agent. "If we'd known we'd be gone by now."
"Don't you want to stay and fight?"
"No. I think I'll just sit here and if I'm alive at the end, good, if not, I'm certainly not going to feel it happen." He reached groggily for his latest drink, a martini, and sitting up and putting on an air of dignity, missed his mouth with it and threw it over his shoulder.
*
Leonard of Quirm was carefully concocting a paste made largely of powdered soybeans. He had added various other ingredients, including some he'd had to invent, and now had a passable chocolate. He poured himself a frothing cup while Uyidako loaded the last of the rocket batteries.
*
Lord Hong's ship quietly swung around into a cove about two miles Widdershins of Switch' off, and docked next to a small broken down building. Lord Hong stepped nimbly out onto the crumbling pier and scuttled into the building, closely followed by his guards. Then there was silence.
*
The Magnolia Guy glanced again at his watch. 6:24 minutes. He pulled out an older copy of Alchemy News.
He glanced over a few articles. It is worth wondering how the future might have been different had he noticed the one titled 'Thaum Bomb? Leading wizard postulates the possibility of splitting the Thaum.'
Or if Ponder had ever noticed he had been referred to as a 'leading wizard'.
*
The Luggage had finally bitten off the rope holding the weight, and floated to the surface.
It was about fifty miles behind the fleet, and it suddenly decided that now was as good a time as any for revenge.
It began to close the gap.
*
Uyidako sipped Leonard's beverage gingerly, then in gulps. It was almost like chocolate.
"Would you believe the main ingredients are soy and figs?" said Leonard.
*
Rincewind had managed to get the Orange Agents to their feet and was helping them walk over to the beach, where he walked them out onto the end of the pier and pushed them into the water.
*
Victor Tugelbend was reviewing the schematics for what he had concluded was the transportation device. He had been told by one of the wizards what had happened and was now trying to rectify the problem. The sooner he could get them back, the sooner he could figure out of they were still alive.
*
There were a LOT of boats. There were the frigates and the galleons and great huge floating platforms on which the Walking Suits lay, lying down for stability.
The luggage was getting closer. The gap was down to about forty-eight miles now.
*
Lord Hong pushed aside the curtain to the back room, and seated himself at the table. His guards automatically took up positions at the door and the windows.
"Greetings," he said.
"Greetings," said the other person at the table. He lit a lantern and hung it from a peg in the ceiling.
"How go the plans?" asked Lord Hong politely.
"Quite well," said Xu Chu.
*
6:19. The Magnolia guy finished the article about werewolf depression and skimmed the one on Antipasta.
*
Victor looked at the circuitry. It was so complex he realized with surprising speed the fact that it was probably quite simple and dolled up to impress and intimidate anyone trying to grasp its concepts. He double- checked Ponder's design and began to pull the wiring apart slowly.
*
Off in his own personal universe the Dean was really getting pissed. They were running out of air, though the brief stop in that other universe had temporarily replenished them, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could spend with the students.
Students were to the UU staff what sulfuric acid was to most metals.
He ran through the spells, incantations, and basic geometry he was going to need to arrive on the Discworld again.
He hoped it would be the outside of the Discworld.
*
The Prophesy of the Pseudoagateans and the Ephebians would, quite shortly, be either exalted as the truth or crushed into the annals of history as a foolish lie.
R&R
Or flame.
SAY SOMETHING!
-Mobius Shadow
