The darkness swarmed all around him, pounding in his head, blinding what little hopes and dreams he had, as he knew this was it. He felt pain encroaching upon every section of his body, and it hurt his just to lie on his front. A light fluid ran along his back, yet the youth was unaware whether it was blood or perspiration—either way it meant that he was losing something his body required for vitality. He felt as though he smouldered on both sides of his skin, wondering why even though he'd never shown any retaliation in the past, why had Kunzite-sama not said anything when Queen Beryl had blasted him? He felt even more hollowed when he reached the conclusion he wasn't worth as much to the older man as thought.
He longed for death to close its fond embrace around him (he was positive nothing would ever close its arms around him again), he was dying cold, painfully and, he bitterly added, alone. He'd always been the one to toy with other people in pushing their patience to the absolute limit; this was the occasion where he'd gone too far. Fate retaliated; punishing the copper-haired youth for the years of irritation he'd caused other people by allowing him to linger in the condition of not being alive whilst still bearing a pulse.
Is this Eternal Sleep? Not a truly conscious state of being, immobile and forever unable to die? He would have shuddered and recoiled at this idea if he weren't exerting every ounce of his thoughts and strength on remembering what his lover looked and sounded like, but all he could remember now were all the occasions where Kunzite-sama had snapped at him and called all his efforts futile, useless, pathetic. Then again, that was how he felt now, so Kunzite-sama's words over his actions were surely transferred to his own being now. He was just a dying piece of unwanted matter now, nothing to stay alive for yet he couldn't die. Death eluded him in its mocking manner, enjoying his pain no doubt. What was that? Zoisite had distinctly heard something which was never part of his memory banks; Kunzite-sama was saying something about asking Queen Beryl to revive him; was it an incredibly cruel manifestation his brain had conjured to toy with him further, or…
He opened his eyes properly, much against his body's wishes as it only inflicted more pain upon himself, but it was worth it—he saw the light at the end of his dank tunnel, Kunzite-sama had returned to him, he was not forgotten! His initial thought was very near being true, as the first thing he'd seen when he'd opened his eyes had been Kunzite's hair, reflecting a multi-faceted shine from what little light existed in the Dark Kingdom and it made him almost too beautiful to look at, according to the younger male. The Ice King stood proud and flawless to the end of Zoisite's memory banks it would seem; yet the mortally wounded Shitennou felt this was not a time where he should hide his emotions—he needed to die with the knowledge he was loved or something to show for the life they'd led together!
He felt arms drawing him closer to the other man's body; an embrace, yes his superior was making a great start, though it did not seem enough for the youth at the moment. He needed to allow his already malfunctioning hearing the grace of hearing a proclamation; likewise he needed to let his sense of touch engage in a tender kiss with him. In any case, he became highly aware that he'd need to initiate the sequence in any event, it would be too much of a character change for Kunzite-sama otherwise, and he wanted to remember the general for exactly how they were.
"I am happy, for I will die in your arms. But please, grant me my last wish" I love you Kunzite-sama, let me hear you thought the same about me, only sincerely. Don't lie to me as I die, even though it would make me ecstatic to hear the words pass your lips. I need truth, not shells of emotion in pity.
"What is it?" Come on Kunzite-sama; PLEASE don't make me say it! Take the hint, read me poetry, shower me with love and genuine words until I leave you forever, I can't die without something that made living worthwhile! Do it Kunzite-sama, I'm begging you, or even after all this time can you still not pay attention or understand my feelings? I'll give you one last try, but please don't disappoint me.
"I want to die beautifully" I can't spell it out any more my love, as I don't want to beg for your attention if you will not divulge it benevolently.
Kunzite drew his cloak around his lover as he teleported them to a place other than the floor near Beryl's throne. In the briefest instant as they travelled through the void between places, all Zoisite saw and smelt was his lover, the only sound other than his perpetual gasping for air was that of Kunzite's heartbeat. Despair raised its ugly head in Zoisite's as he realised the soft pounding was no different than it usually was, meaning that his lover felt no different about him dying than he did during target practice! He wouldn't feel any different without his student around, and was not even pretending otherwise now as he was withering away and dying.
He insulted himself for the countless time, screaming out what a fool he'd been, always acting for years like little more than a previously neglected kitten; he'd felt absolute trust in one person when they touched him once, then he treated else as a potential threat to his happiness and so annoyed or killed them. He hadn't really hated Nephrite, but if he'd been friends with him or Jadeite, his master might have been angry and lashed out again, so he carried on with true devotion to him, and now that master didn't care. Why should he? He could easily take another pet into his life; now Zoisite felt like he'd merely been used out of pity for every second of all those years, all those nights…then the moment was gone.
Kunzite moved the cloak back to reveal the new place to the surprised green-eyed king; he'd taken him back to the place where they'd spent most of their time together, the soft scent of the floral displays slightly overwhelming that of his master's—this horrified that they interfered with his last moments with his lover, yet he simultaneously felt oddly serene. He moved closer to his love's body to get the scent he desired back, hoping he'd take any moment now to tell his student how he felt. He just prayed that the elder man did care.
The place itself had been conjured by Kunzite-sama when they'd first started sneaking around together for privacy, without the surroundings resembling anything as forbidding as their queen. So the teacher had sculpted the beauty based upon his student—pretty yet fragile, and of course the pupil's trademark petals interwoven into the design. The first time they'd lain together, Kunzite-sama had muttered to himself that true beauty was in the radiant darkness, referring to his lover lying in the beautiful part of the Dark Kingdom, or at least this was how Zoisite had always imagined it to mean.
Zoisite became depressingly aware that his chances of any emotions or words from Kunzite-sama were fading fast, as indeed was his very life, so he extended his hand, praying his sensei would take it to place a caring kiss upon the back of it as it didn't appear he'd ever share a proper kiss with anyone again. Not now. Instead, he exhaled out 'How beautiful. I am happy Kunzite-sama' without his heart being in the words at all, though he was momentarily withdrawn from his misery when a sakura petal floated onto his palm. It resembled a pink heart to the sentimental student, wondering whether or not Kunzite-sama had conjured it to express his love in another form, but judging from the older man's face, he was just as interested in its peculiar timing.
Zoisite knew nothing was going to happen now, with the light fading fast from his usually bright emerald eyes. He allowed a few tears some freedom for the last time, feeling victim of an unrequited love; dignity and vanity were no longer important to the male.
"I loved you, Kunzite-sama"
He deliberately used the past tense of the verb and for the first time did not mean it when he called him master. He died from his own inner misery in his weak state, and then his hand dropped lifelessly, with the sakura petal, unseen to Kunzite, turning a withered charcoal black in colour. Kunzite had been greatly moved by his student's tears yet could not say anything in comfort, not for his own desires to work. He whispered 'Forgive me, Zoisaito' as he walked away from the beauty, never to return there, as he saw no need for such things now the spark had died from his own life. As an afterthought to his sentence, he thought 'Forgive me Zoisaito, for I could not let you die beautifully as you wished—I love you too much to say goodbye.'
The black petal reverted back to its pink hue before setting itself alight, tainting Zoisite's white glove with ash. Kunzite would never return, just like Zoisite's love for his superior never would.
