The Golden Sun One-Shot Panoply

BY MANY AUTHORS! SEE LIST FIRST CHAPTER!

P/N: From what I've read of this…it's insanity. But you chapter did get through Azu!!

First, my apologies for the weird textish in the last chapter. I really have no idea what went on there.

Second, to Azu, Midnight, Shiro, Kadevi, Jupiter Sprite and SSJ-KybokSilverfang, thanks for reviewing, and keep it up!!

On to the chapter we go!

*****

Life Can Get Even Worser

By Azusasan

~*~

Whoo, why do I get a feeling I'm gonna have FUN writing this? ^o^ On my minor notes, this will have Garet/Jenna. Or... not. I'm rating this PG for some minor cursing, and... slightly bad stuff. But they couldn't help it, now could they? Or fear Jenna's wrath. ^_~ Also some minor Garet-angst. Awww.... Besides that, enjoy!

...Wait a second, did I just say "Awww....?" 0_o;;; ::Feels bad for feeling bad for Garet::

Urgh... -o-; Here we go.

~*~

Life Can Get Even Worser

~*~

For one day.... You shall be your greatest nightmare.... This is a test from the Wise One.... You must take this test to prove your worth.... Good luck, warriors....

Two people awoke at the exact same time, expecting nothing different from their daily lives. Being their greatest nightmare wasn't something they were afraid of. Nope. Not. At. All.

Felix pulled himself out of bed, yawning and stretching. He noted sleepily that his room was messier than normal. He would clean it later, after sparring with Isaac. Reaching the door, he pulled it open -- odd, he thought drowsily, his door was supposed to swing outwards -- and stumbled into the hallway. Seeing the bathroom door down the corridor, he headed down, and opened the door...

"AAAAAAAHHHH!"

Felix's mind immediately awoke completely and he shut the door quickly.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!"

"Um, sorry...."

"Yeah, you better be sorry! You idiot..." The door closed with a click. Wait a second... That wasn't the bathroom. Whoopsie.

Felix continued on down the hallway, finding the bathroom without any further incident. Hm, bathroom looked different than normal. Well, he wasn't sure anything was normal after Vale had been destroyed. Reaching the sink, he blinked at the mirror. And screamed his head off, unaware of the fact he sounded like a girl in doing so.

~*~

Elsewhere...

~*~

Garet was screaming as well. Screaming his lovely brown-haired head off.

Ah, so you see, the most simple and most complicated problem ever known in Vale had just happened. Garet and Felix switched bodies. Seems simple, this being the Wise One's test, but... these two hated each other with a passion.

And -- Garet thought, hopefully with his own brain -- he had a date with Jenna!

He was staring at his -- or rather, Felix's -- hands, with its long fingers and calluses when the door burst open and Jenna, the object of his affections, ran in.

"Oh, Felix! What's the matter?"

Garet gaped a moment. Her hair was tied into a braid, and it swung almost like a tail, impatiently from side to side as she glanced around the room. Jenna wore a baggy shirt and what appeared to be cut-off cotton breeches. He *never* saw this side of Jenna.

"...Felix?"

"I, um..." Garet started, disliking his new voice already. If she knew, however, bad things would happen. He didn't need her being blown up by the Wise One. "I... had a bad dream."

"You woke up in the bathroom?" Jenna asked incredulously. "I wouldn't put it past you, though..." She muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"You poor baby!" She said quickly. "Always suffering from nightmares..." Jenna led him over to the bathtub and sat him down on the edge, resting his head on her bosom and stroking the dark locks.

...Actually, this wasn't so bad. Garet thought, secretly grinning like a pervert whose dream had recently come true.

~*~

Back with our beloved Felix...

~*~

Felix was nearing hysteria. He. Could. NOT. Be. Garet!

"Garet? What are you screaming about?"

"Um, nothing, Mrs. -- um, Mom!"

"If you say so, dear..."

"Don't worry. He probably just saw another cockroach. You know he's afraid of those things."

"Kay, now..."

Their voices died away. Felix sighed, then clawed at his new face. NO! He could not be that stupid, dense, UGLY oaf that dated his sister! No! No! No!

Breathe, Felix... He told himself. Sort this out. You're Garet. You also had that weird dream. This is your test.

He sighed, looking back at the mirror fearfully. This was a certainly... odd... test. At least he wasn't Jenna. Or Kraden. He shuddered violently.

I guess I should find Garet... Felix thought to himself, heading back to Garet's room (And getting a few insults from Kay along the way) and looking distastefully through Garet's meager collection of clothes.

This would be no easy day.

~*~

Jenna jumped at the loud knocking at the door. She opened it, and as soon as she saw who she thought was Garet, she leaped at him.

"Garet! Snuggle-bunny, what are you doing here?"

Felix shuddered as Jenna hugged him and pecked him on the cheek. Ugh...

"I... Need to talk to Ga -- er, Felix."

Jenna slid back down, looking confused.

"What did Felix do now?"

Get switched with that idiot of a boyfriend of yours... Felix thought sourly.

"I just need to talk to him, okay?"

Jenna blinked.

"Okay... Felix!"

Garet didn't move a little while, until he realized that he WAS Felix. Standing quickly and getting a small rush (As Felix was a bit taller than he was [IS Felix taller than Garet? I'm thinking so, since Garet's hair doesn't... really count.]), he walked over to Jenna, gulping at seeing himself beside his girlfriend.

Act like Felix! Garet reminded himself. Putting a scowl on his face, he cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What do you want?"

"I need... to talk to you."

"What for?"

Felix rolled his eyes, and then glared at him.

"Oh, that. Come on."

Garet led Felix back up to Felix's room, leaving a very puzzled Jenna next to the open door.

"Do you know what's going on?" Garet asked Felix as soon as the door was locked.

"Don't you remember that dream?"

"What dream?"

Felix sighed.

"I'm worried that my brain cells have completely depleted since you're in my body, you know that?"

"At least I have more sense in clothing." Garet shot back. A silence settled between them as Garet thought over his last comment and Felix closed his eyes and shook his head. "Oh. Right."

"Yes, Garet. That's right. I am you. You are me. Do you understand?"

"Shut up!" Garet reached up and grabbed Felix by his collar, bringing them face-to-face. "Are you going to try an' help or not?"

"Do you think I really can?" Felix snorted, wrenching out of the grip and glaring at Garet ruefully. "This is the Wise One's challenge, only he -- "

"Maybe you don't remember," Garet said dryly, "but I have a date with your sister."

The color in the Venus adept's face visibly drained from his cheeks.

"That's right..."

"Yes, that's right!" Garet said, leaping up from the bed he was sitting on. "And... I can't go with her!"

"Of course not! You want to know what happens when the villagers see incest?! And why can't you reschedule?"

"No way in hell I don't! So that means YOU have to go! And I'm not -- I CAN'T reschedule! Jenna will kill me! Or, you!"

Felix sighed. Some test... "It WILL be incest, then."

"Well.... Too bad! Just don't kiss her anything!"

Felix grimaced at the thought of kissing Jenna. Ugghh.... He shuddered.

"You think I'm that stupid?"

"You're in my body. I'm the stupid idiot, remember?" Garet snarled, turning away from his reflection and glaring at the opposite wall.

"Look, Garet. You're not the smartest person I know, but you're certainly not the stupidest. I'm just an over-protective brother."

"Oh, who's stupider than me?"

"You and Isaac weren't the ones traveling with two bimbos like Saturos and Menardi. I'm surprised Puelle chose them to begin with."

"I thought they had issues. Not... a lack of a brain."

"They had issues, and they were missing a serious amount of brain cells. You don't know. You weren't the one who had to be trained by one of them."

"Is that why you always lose to Isaac?" Garet turned back to him, an inquisitive look on his face.

"Whoever said I lost?" Felix frowned.

"Isaac always -- "

"Isaac loses. I taught myself how to use the sword." Felix said proudly.

"You taught yourself? So that would explain Jenna's concern for your physical health... She doesn't want you being chopped up into pieces by your own swor -- "

"I'm thinking this conversation is getting reeeally far off topic." Felix cut in. "What are we going to do about my sister?"

Garet rolled his eyes.

"You just have to go with Jenna. She'll understand if you say you're bothered by something and don't really speak with her."

"Oh, yes she will! You don't know my sister! She'll try and bite me!"

"Like she hasn't already?" Garet shot back.

"She's bitten me, sure. But they certainly weren't *love* bites." Felix leered. Garet flushed and stared out a nearby window.

"Um... Do I want to know how you know that?"

"I saw my new self in the mirror. You think I didn't notice anything?"

Garet wallowed in embarrassment a few more minutes while Felix stared at himself (Meaning Garet), wondering how the heck he looked so pitiful while ashamed.

"I'm sorry! Just don't kill me!" Garet wailed suddenly. Felix blinked.

"If I kill you, it'll look like you killed me. Then, chances are, you'll be brutally murdered as well by Isaac or some other..." The (Normally) brunet trailed off, a devilish grin on his face.

Garet twitched.

"Wha --?"

"Never mind." Felix said quickly. A confused, embarrassed Garet was not the best Garet to try and make a plan that dealt with your sister with. Sighing, Felix tried running a hand through his hair only to realize that it wasn't his hair anymore. Prodding at its hard surface, Felix wondered briefly if Garet had ever used his hair as a lethal weapon in battle. Then, he decided he *didn't* want to know.

"Let's just plan out the... date, then. Where you plan on taking her, what you plan on wearing, so on and so forth."

"Okay...." Why did he get *really* bad vibes from this?

~*~

Later....

~*~

I feel so dirty, I feel so dirty, I feel so dirty.....

I never should have gotten out of bed this morning...

I feel so dirty.... SO dirty...

Garet sat on the bottom steps of the staircase, biting his lip nervously and watching with his breath held. Jenna pranced down beside him, wearing a long red dress with a wispy-looking sash. *HE* was the one supposed to be the one with her tonight...

With a wince, he knew it would be her own brother with whom she'd really dance, talk, and flirt with.

He wanted to break down and start crying. Gods knew Felix appeared to be an angst-ridden, depression-busted brother anyhow. But he didn't dare risk it. Not now, at least. Once Jenna was gone. With her brother. . .

GAH!

Felix twitched, seeing Garet suddenly scrunch up his face and leap up the stairs. Soon enough, a large crash (And much swearing) was heard. Jenna, fortunately

(Unfortunately? He wondered), didn't notice a thing. (How attentive his sister was, Felix thought exasperatedly.)

"Hi, Garrie-poo..." Jenna cooed, leaning up to smooch him. Felix moved at the last moment, and thus, the kiss that was meant for his lips ended up on his cheek. Jenna didn't seem at all perturbed by this; instead, she grabbed his hand and led him down the steps.

What Garet had initially planned was a moonlight picnic ("What the hell?" Felix had asked), and, after much snuggling, cuddling and kissing ("Blurgh!"), he had decided that he would propose.

Felix had then, after being told that nice information earlier that afternoon, had a seizure.

After Garet had dumped some ice water on him, Felix swore, then grasped Garet's collar and yelled in his face some more.

But, once our favorite Earth-adept-in-Garet's-body had calmed down reasonably enough, he demanded an explanation. So, Garet managed to tell him, all in a jumbled mess of stammers and whispers. Felix had watched him whimper stoically.

And once the explanation had been drained out, Garet had asked:

"Will you propose for me?"

Felix promptly had another seizure afterwards.

After more ice water, yelling, swearing, and threatening on Garet's part, it was settled: Felix would propose while in Garet's body, and as soon as the switch was de-spelled, Garet would owe Felix a rather hefty sum of money and a blanket.

His *baby* blanket.

Now, Garet was hiding under Felix's covers, shivering and watching -- out of a window -- an overly hyper Jenna and a hesitant Felix-in-his-body walk off towards the lake, a picnic basket in one of Felix's hands.

"Oh please, Iris, don't let him mess up...." Garet whispered a prayer, the sheets tumbling down over his head.

"Felix, what are you doing?" Jenna's mother asked from the doorway, seeing who she thought was her son, her twenty-one year old son, hiding under the covers and shuddering.

"Um, nothing." Garet replied.

~*~

Felix sighed. He had barely touched the food. Jenna, as per usual, did not notice, but instead, ate everything else. After watching his own sister finish off the sandwiches, the salad, and the cake, he felt far from happy at this situation.

Felix and Garet had come to a compromise -- the "snuggling, cuddling and kissing" could be left out, as long as Felix could come up with some other romantic idea that didn't involve bodily touching through lips.

That crossed out plenty of ideas.

But Felix was a creative person, though he did not appear it. After packing up the blanket, the plates and cups and bowls, Felix instructed Jenna to take off her high heels, and once he had taken off his own boots and rolled up his pants, they waded into the nearby lake.

"Oooh, the water's so cold..." Jenna said, her teeth chattering. She eased herself down onto a dry rock, pulling her skirt up around her knees. "Why did you want to do this, Garet?"

Felix grimaced at the name, but erased it quickly at Jenna's confused stare.

"I need... to tell you -- er, ask you something."

"And that is?" Jenna took his hand in her smaller one, clasping her other palm over it.

With a soft, resolute sigh, he crouched before her, shuddering at the icy cold water around his ankles.

"Jenna..." Inhale, exhale, he told himself. "You're the most beautiful woman I know." At least that was true, to some extent. "And *I* know that I'm not the smartest person, or the handsomest, or the best at the sword..." I'd fit *that* bill, Felix thought to himself. "And, to thank you for choosing me over any of the other men of Vale, I'd..." Inhale... exhaaale... "I'd like to call myself your husband. Will you marry me, Jenna?" There was the glint of moonlight on shiny gold, and Jenna stared down at a ring in a velvet box.

Inhaaaaale...

Exhaaaaale...

"Ohmigosh, Garet! Of course I will! I love you!"

However, Iris seemed to have missed that prayer Garet had sent her. . .

. . .Felix slipped, and as Jenna reached out to hug him, he fell backwards into the lake, flailing and screaming as he went.

"Um... Garet, are you okay?"

Only bubbles replied to her query.

"Uh... I'll still marry you." Jenna offered, rising from the rock.

She was given a thumbs-up sign.

~*~

The next morning...

~*~

The first thing Felix did as soon as he got up, was throw off the covers and run to his full-length mirror beside the window. With a sigh of relief, he saw himself, and not the oaf that was now going to marry his sister. He was so relieved, in fact, he fainted.

Garet, meanwhile, was still afraid that he was Felix. As he opened one eye, he squinted around the room. Okay, his room. That was improvement. Sliding out, he looked down at himself. Oh, sweet Iris! Back to normal...

Meanwhile...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Isaac screamed at the top of his lungs, as did Ivan.

And Felix, who had woken up a few minutes after he had blacked out, laughed, much to the utter confusion of his sister and parents.

Garet, however, was wondering why so many psychos were popping up in Vale in the mornings.

Hey, life can get even worser than that, right?

'Course.

~*~

End

~*~

Whoohoo! A chapter done within a month's time! ...I think. Anyhow, review, it makes all of us very happy! ^o^

Hey, dontcha pity Isaac and Ivan? D

~Azu

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