The Golden Sun One-Shot Panoply

By: A list of authors that has expanded to eventually include: Shiro Amayagi, Yoshimi Takahashi.

P/N: This chapter was written by Midnight C! (*waves to Death*)

I hope you all enjoy it. Many and varied thanks to the reviewers…Azu, you must have a lot of fans, that chapter's the most-reviewed as of now…my there are a lot of you…Midnight, SSJ-KybokSilverfang, Kadevi, Triad, Yuriko the Chaotic Slurpee, Akachi, Akiko, Jupiter Sprite, Vyctori, Griffinkhan, Yoshimi Takahashi.

On to the story!

*****

First off, I want to thank Vil for coming up with the great idea for the OSP in the first place and for asking me to contribute to it. It gives me a wonderful warm fuzzy feeling!

Shade: You sure that isn't the spicy food you ate for dinner last night?

Do you ever go away?!

Shade: Nope.

*Sigh* And secondly, I want to thank Dragon Empress for inspiration. Her divine one-of-a-kind romantic humor played a major role in bringing this fic to life.

Mist: So be sure to take some time to read her stories if you haven't already.

Crystal: And all the other ones in the OSP too!

Right! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my first attempt at Proxshipping. I certainly had too much fun with this! ^^;

*The Gift*
A Tale of Saturos and Menardi
By Midnight C

Spring in Prox meant that the huge icicles hanging off of the local roofs began to drip. It meant that the fluffy snow on the ground gradually melted into heavier, stickier snow be specked with dirt. It meant that the formerly frozen paths around town turned into mud so thick that one risked losing a shoe forever by taking one wrong step.

It also meant that Menardi's birthday was right around the corner.

This last fact had Saturos frightened to the core. For one, Menardi was quite temperamental about her birthday, and for another, he had yet to get her anything.

"I'm doomed," Saturos muttered to himself. "Unless I come up with a good gift by tomorrow, Menardi will flash-fry me."

He ambled through town with his head and shoulders drooped, all traces of his usual confident air gone. And none of the Proxians needed to wonder why, for they all knew the day that was fast approaching. It had only been a few short years ago that Menardi had nearly leveled the village because her sister had accidentally tripped and dropped the birthday cake. They were all afraid of what would happen if things didn't go perfectly tomorrow, and they pitied Saturos. As Menardi's one and only, he was in the most dangerous position of all. One could practically see the black cloud of dread and fear looming over him.

Agatio was walking down the path in the opposite direction, completely absorbed with the piece of paper in his hand. He scratched his head at the grocery list Karst had given to him. Why in the world did she need chili powder and jalapeño peppers for her sister's birthday party?

Since he was so absorbed in his task, he failed to see the downtrodden Saturos and the two of them collided. They both fell over backwards into the mud and the precious grocery list went flying.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?!" they demanded at the same time. "Me?! What about you?! You're such a clumsy oaf!"

Grumbling, the Mars Adepts stood up and began wiping the mud off of their clothes. "Uh-oh," Agatio said. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" Saturos asked.

"My list! I was on my way to the store for Karst. If I don't find that list, Menardi's party will be ruined!"

That was all it took to get Saturos to begin searching for the list as well. Other villagers sighed at the sight of their two strongest warriors crawling around in the mud. Sometimes they shuddered to think that those two goofballs carried the fate of the whole village on their shoulders.

"Found it!" Agatio exclaimed happily as he held up the limp, mud-soaked list. He looked at it a moment. "Can you read it?"

Saturos groaned to himself. The ink had smeared and now none of the words were legible. "Nice going, dummy. It's ruined! You'll have to go back to Karst and ask for a new one."

"G-go back? To Karst?" The very idea was bone chilling.

"Don't whine, Agatio. I have my own problems to worry about."

"Oh I see." Agatio smirked. "I take it that means you haven't found a gift for your girlfriend, have you?"

"No I have not found a gift for my girlfriend!" Saturos half-shouted. "And if you're just going to stand there grinning at me like a moron, then I reserve the right to get pyro on your hide! This is a serious matter!"

"Jeez...bro, you need to mellow out. I'm sure whatever you come up with Menardi will love. She's crazy about you."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one she'll pummel into the ground!" He let out a beleaguered sigh. "I'll never understand women if I live to be a hundred years old."

"I'd like to help you, buddy, but Karst has my schedule booked helping her organize the party."

"I figured as much," said Saturos.

"Speaking of which, I guess I should go ask her about this list." Agatio's pointed ears drooped as he thought of what he was in for when he told Karst he'd dropped the first list in the mud. "See ya around, bro!"

Saturos paced a few steps in the muddy path, trying to think of what he could possibly get for Menardi. She had plenty of jewelry and enough clothes to fill half of her house. She hated flowers, always citing how useless they were, and chocolate...well, forget it. The only thing scarier than Menardi was Menardi on a sugar rush. So where did that leave him? What could he possibly find in this isolated iceberg of a village that she didn't already have or would actually like?

"Saturos! There you are!" Speak of the devil. Saturos cringed, wanting to run and cram himself into the smallest mouse hole in the basement of the inn.

"Hi, Menardi," he greeted with a shaky grin. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing." Something about her smile was very disconcerting. "I just wanted to see how my favorite blue Mars Adept was doing today."

"If you think I'm telling you what I got you for your birthday, you're sadly mistaken. You'll have to wait until tomorrow."

Menardi stuck out her bottom lip. "Aw! But it's only one more day. Can't you give me just a little hint?"

"Nope, sorry."

"Well, can you at least tell me one thing?"

"What?"

"Will I like your present?"

Saturos gulped, and he prayed to Mars that she didn't hear it. He flashed another goofy grin at her and scratched the back of his head, hoping to hide the beads of sweat rolling down from his temples. "I guarantee that you'll be very surprised, my dear."

"I knew it!" she squealed in delight. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "You're the best, Satty! I can't wait for tomorrow. Karst already promised me that she's going to throw a big party and make one of her scrumptious cakes, and the whole village is going to come! But of course, it wouldn't be a party if you weren't there, Saturos. There isn't anyone else I'd rather spend my one birthday with."

"Menardi..." Great, now she was laying on the guilt trip too. Mars, just take me now! he begged. I can't stand this slow torture any longer so just burn me alive right now! I'll even give you a gold coin!

"Oh, that reminds me--I have to go figure out what to wear to the party tomorrow," Menardi said. "I want to look my best."

"You always look stunning," said Saturos, pouncing on the chance to stay in her good graces. She smiled and kissed him again.

"You're so sweet. Well, I have to be going now. I'll see you later my brave, handsome Mars Adept. And I simply can't wait to see my present!"

"I can't wait to give it to you," he said. The back of his neck bristled as it became soaked in sweat. He waved goodbye to Menardi as she merrily skipped away. Oh if only she could stay in that sort of mood all the time! But no...once she found out he had no gift, the sweet Menardi would give way to the insane Menardi.

Resume cringing.

"Dammit!" Saturos cursed as he stamped his foot. Mud splattered all over his clothes, some of it even getting into his perfectly combed hair. "What am I going to do?!"

***

"You haven't found a present for Menardi?!" Karst exclaimed. "Saturos, what's wrong with you? Don't you know that it's forbidden to forget your girlfriend's birthday?!"

"I didn't forget!" Saturos insisted. "I just haven't been able to think of anything good to get for her. I was hoping you might have an idea."

Karst eyed him suspiciously as she continued mixing whatever substance was in the bowl before her. She was practically covered from head to toe in flour and there were streaks of frosting and cake batter in her fire-red hair. Various aromas floated through the air in the kitchen, none of them the least bit familiar but all of them somewhat enticing.

"Please, Karst!" Saturos flashed his most innocent smile. "You're her sister--you must have an idea of what she wants."

"I happen to be busy preparing all of the food for her party, and Agatio is my only help, which means I have nearly twice the work." Something crashed in the next room. "Agatio! What was that?!"

"Nothing!" came the hasty reply. Karst growled loudly, and the great green Mars Adept stuck his head into the kitchen, his ears drooped guiltily.

"It's nothing, Karst dear," said Agatio in a nervous voice. "I only dropped one of the bud vases. That's all."

"You what?!"

A moment later, Agatio went sulking back to clean up the broken vase, his face covered in soot and his skin partially charred. Karst resumed mixing her concoction with great aggression, since burning her helper didn't relieve all of her frustrations by a long shot. Saturos mentally wondered which of the sisters was really the most frightening.

"Well?" he queried.

"You're on your own, Romeo," Karst snapped. She was teetering on stirring the mixture into oblivion. "I have too much to do and there are only so many hours in the day. May I suggest that you use your own brain for once? It's that thing between your two big ears if you've forgotten."

Saturos sighed wearily. Why had he bothered to ask Karst for help in the first place? He slowly exited the house, butterflies fluttering in his stomach as he looked at the setting sun. In a few hours he'd be a pile of burnt cinders.

"Hey look--it's Saturos, the dead man walking!" one of the Proxian children teased. "Clear the way for the dead man walking!"

Normally, Saturos would've taken pride in using his warrior prowess to scare the little brat into therapy for life, but he had much bigger concerns on his mind right now. He half-heartedly shot a small fireball in the kid's direction and continued the slow walk home, pausing only to check the shop windows for anything different. Sadly, it was all the same stuff he'd long since rejected. It was hopeless. He was one very dead Mars Adept. Never again would he inhale the sweet air, feel the warm radiance of the Mars Lighthouse, or know the satisfaction of beating Agatio in one of their training sessions. Never again would he know the satisfaction of just being alive.

OK, maybe he was being a little melodramatic, but still...after tomorrow, he'd be as close to death as a guy could get without actually dying.

"Stupid birthdays," he muttered. "Why do I have to put up with all of this fuss? Menardi knows she's the only girl for me. That should be enough for her, shouldn't it?"

***

Menardi was getting seriously ticked. Her party was a near total bust thanks to Agatio making some last minute alterations to the food. Karst had told him to lightly sprinkle some pepper on the kabobs and the idiot had instead doused everything on the table--including the cake--in pepper and chili powder. Then, in his rush for some water to quell the spiciness, one of the guests had spilled his wine all over her brand new red dress. And all of the presents were ugly jewelry or clothes that she'd never wear to save her life. No, nothing was going right today.

To top it off, Saturos had yet to show up.

The birthday girl was now seated at the table with her arms and legs crossed, seething. Where was the blue-skinned creep? She could really use a dynamic, wonderful gift to brighten her otherwise awful day. If he failed to show or if his present was less than stellar, she would beat him to a bloody pulp.

Twice.

"Cheer up, sis," Karst said as she sat down beside her. "Saturos will be here before long, and the new cake will be out of the oven soon. And Agatio's not going to go anywhere near that one as long as I live."

"If he's not here in five minutes, I'll hunt him down and rip his lungs out," Menardi muttered.

Agatio pricked up an ear as he munched on a piece of the old cake. He couldn't understand why everyone went running from the room when they'd tasted it--it seemed all right to him. 'Saturos said he might be a bit late, Menardi," he said with his mouth full. "He wanted to be sure everything was right for you today. You know how he is."

"Haven't you done enough damage today?!" Karst scowled.

"Damage?' Agatio questioned innocently. He shoved another handful of cake into his mouth. "What are you talking about? This party's been great!"

Karst emitted a low, deadly growl, which caused him to slowly back away and sit in the corner. A moment later, the door of the house slowly opened and Saturos made his not-so-grand entrance. Everyone stopped and stared at him, much to his dismay. He'd rather hoped he could've slipped in discretely.

"Bro!" Agatio exclaimed. "There you are! We were just talking about you."

"What'd I miss?" Saturos offered. One look at Menardi's face told the whole story. He knew the party hadn't gone smoothly at all and his legs suddenly felt like limp noodles. Not only had he come to the party sans gift, but now Menardi was doubly pissed for having a bad birthday.

He was so, so screwed.

"Menardi!" he said nervously. "You look even lovelier than usual today. Is that a new dress?"

"It was until some jerk spilled wine on it," she replied crossly. "You're late! Where have you been?!"

Saturos's ears drooped. "Uh...well...you see, I was..."

The temperature in the room suddenly spiked as Menardi's anger and annoyance intensified. She was ten seconds away from burning the house and everyone in it to ashes. Saturos was sweating profusely as he gazed at her very intimidating visage and he mentally begged Mars for a miracle. She got up from the table and advanced towards him, fire in her eyes, and he stood there paralyzed in terror. Then his survival instincts took over.

Without a word, he swept her into his arms and drew her into a very long and extremely passionate kiss. Silence fell over the room as all of the guests and Agatio and Karst just stared at them. Hours seemed to pass.

Finally, Saturos broke away and smiled when he saw Menardi's stunned and no longer homicidal face. He squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips in the most gentlemanly way possible.

"Happy birthday, Menardi, my love," he said.

Menardi stared at him wide-eyed for a moment, then she squealed in delight and threw her arms around him, kissing him on the cheek repeatedly.

"Satty!" she cried. "That was amazing!" She kissed him again. "Thank you!"

"You're very welcome." Relief swept over him. He was off the hook. He was safe from getting incinerated! Saturos, you're such a genius, he told himself. An absolute genius!

Menardi looped her arms around his neck. "That was the most perfect birthday gift ever. You're the best, Saturos."

"I only wish I could do more."

"Really?" A devilish grin crossed her face. "You know, if you weren't sure of what to get me for my birthday, you could've just asked me. I would've been happy to give you some suggestions."

"W-what?!' The sweat suddenly returned in force.

"But I'll let you off the hook this time because there's nothing funnier or more satisfying than watching you squirm. You're so cute when you're nervous like that--I just can't resist you."

The colored drained completely from Saturos's face. Menardi, still smiling broadly, kissed him once more and he promptly fainted. He'd never figure women out for as long as he lived.

*~The End~*

Hope you enjoyed this, everyone. Can't you just tell I had too much fun writing it? ^_^

Shade: ::Groan::

Mist + Crystal: See ya around, folks!