The Golden Sun One-Shot Panoply (once again an attempt at bold typeface)

By: Many many many many many many…ok, not that many…authors. Next chapter I'll rewrite the list. IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR ALL PARTICIPATING OSP MEMBERS AT END.

P/N: A little fic from a late joiner here…it's really funny, and kinda cute in its own way. Just, Isaac fans, no rabid attacks on author or poster, alright? Or else no more fic for you! (Just kidding.)

A big thanks to all my reviewers: Kyarorain, Jupiter Sprite, Ivanfanatic, Yoshimi Takahashi, Azusasan, Griffinkhan, Alexditto, Yuriko the Chaotic Slurpee, SSJ-KybokSilverfang, Midnight, Akiko and Kadevi. That's…12! WHOO! I beat Azusasan!! (And mid too!) …Sorry, I just needed to do that…
Anyway…be reading!

*****

Sherlock Mia And The Cookie Jar Caper

By Yoshimi Takahashi

A/N: Okay, just to let you know, this is not actually based on any of Sherlock Holmes books. It's just a twisted little mystery fic that makes no sense. But, if you've read any of my other fanfictions, you'll know that I never make sense; it ruins the humour!

Notice: No characters were...permanently...hurt during the making of this fic. And, no, I'm not the author of Sherlock Holmes or the creator of Golden Sun.

***

A blond stranger in a very familiar yellow scarf was walking the streets of London--er, Valedon, walking down Baker--I mean, Imilaker Street. Over the house of 2222-Z, there was a sign reading Sherlock Mia: Cases Solved, Unless I Have To Do Anything. Blinking in confusion for a moment, the stranger...aw, I'm not fooling anyone, Isaac walked in. Immediately, he wished he hadn't.

Squeak, squaik, squawk. A violin was being played very badly. Isaac clamped hands over his ears. Luckily, the music stopped when the violinist...amateur violinist...idiot attempting to play the violin...someone exercising cruelty to music lovers...noticed him.

"Isaac-chan!" With this cry, Sherlock Mia clamped onto Isaac. "Dr. Ivan! Isaac-chan is here!"

Isaac just had time to notice Dr. Ivan before he was swept into a kiss. Then he didn't notice much of anything except that!

"Hang on a second!" Yoshimi, our friendly neighbourhood author, stomped on scene. "You aren't supposed to know each other yet!"

Mia broke off the kiss. "It's love at first sight!"

"Then how do you know his name?" Yoshimi asked.

"I guessed," Mia suggested.

"Humph." In a puff of bright violet smoke ("THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!"), our author disappeared. But he's not important. Even though he's writing that. Boy, don't you hate it when fics turn on you? Anyway, back to our story.

Well, we can't get back to our story for several minutes, because that I can't write romance scenes, so, at the risk of alienating the Mudshippers...

Time passed. Then more time passed. Then Isaac and Mia had to be dragged apart by several impatient readers. Well, okay, a couple of readers. One? I think.

Back to the story, yet again.

"So, Isaac, what brings you here? Crime?" Mia asked.

"Huh? Uh, what?" Obviously, Isaac needed a little more time before he was coherent. "I forget...line."

"You're afraid someone's going to murder you, so you'd like Mia's protection!" hissed the Random Lines Dude, who isn't important either.

"Oh, yeah! You're afraid someone's going to murder you, so you'd like Mia's protection! Wait, that didn't sound right...line."

The Random Lines Dude was too busy hitting his head against the wall multiple times to give the next line.

Sherlock Mia, being the brilliant detective (or, at least she's using his name), figured our the gist of what he was saying. She then made an educated comment.

"NOOO! DON'T HURT MY ISAAC-CHAN!"

Isaac watched nervously as Mia ground her teeth and made strangling gestures with her hands.

"Um...Dr. Ivan?" Isaac asked nervously.

No response.

"Ivan?"

Nothing.

"Dr. Ivan. Ivan. DR. IVAN!"

Zip, zilch, nada.

"DR. IVAN!" Isaac shouted, jumping up and down on Dr. Ivan.

"One moment," Ivan said loudly. Reaching into his ears, he pulled out a pair of earplugs. "Yes?"

"I'm afraid that I'm going to be murdered, becau..."

"Would you please be more precise?" Dr. Ivan requested. Seeing Isaac glance at the still fuming Mia, Ivan added calmly, "Don't worry; this is normal."

"..."

"Speak up, I can't hear you!" Dr. Ivan asked.

"..."

"Oh no! He's gone into his mute stage!" Dr. Ivan exclaimed.

"Just perfect," Mia muttered. "I guess we'll have to go see you tonight."

Isaac waved his arms in protest. ".................. !!!!" he explained.

"See you tonight!" Dr. Ivan told him cheerfully as he shoved him outdoors.

&&&

Sherlock Mia and her faithful companion, Dr. Ivan, arrived at the Isaac Manor. The butler, Kyle, met them at the door.

"I want to talk to Isaac," Mia ordered.

"I am afraid that is impossible at the moment," Kyle replied in the proper butler manner. Just to be suitably British, he added, "Pip, pip, and all that."

"Come on! We just want to go see Isaac!" Dr. Ivan exclaimed.

"Ah! That is possible, I say," Kyle replied.

"What? It's possible to see him, but not talk to him?" Mia asked in confusion.

"Rather, old fruit," Kyle answered.

"OLD?!"

Kyle, appearing not to notice Mia being forcefully restrained by Ivan, continued, "Lord Isaac is rather busy. Wot wot."

"He'll see me," Mia insisted.

"Probably not. You see, he is engaged in dying."

"WHAT?"

"Well, we believe he is finished doing so, but Lord Isaac always taught us to not rush things, wot."

"Let us in!" Mia growled.

"We are not allowed to let anyone on the premises unless it is a direct order from Lord Isaac, and he's dead now."

Mia cast Glacier and pushed past the obtrusive butler. Dr. Ivan followed.

"Goodness gracious, eh, what!" the ice cube exclaimed.

&&&

They found Isaac on the ground. Pieces of red pottery surrounded him, as well as several crumbling cookies.

"This is terrible!" Mia gasped.

"I know!" Ivan commented. "No chocolate chip."

Mia hit Ivan over the head with her ankh and continued searching the area. The red pottery came from what must have been a cookie jar. There was a lit candle that had been set down on the table with quite a bit of liquid wax. On the same table, there was some flour spilt around and a measuring cup. All the ingredients were on a shelf, except for the flour jar, which was nearby the table.

"Dr. Ivan," Mia told Ivan, who was groggily getting up at this point. "Go get Master Kraden."

Ivan tottered off, clutching his head.

Mia took another quick look around and noticed a string of bells for calling the servants. Unfortunately, they were cut off. Upon closer examination of the victim (not there, Mia!), she saw strings from there in his hand. It appeared he had tried to call the servants to him at the time of the crime.

Standing on a chair and reaching up high enough, she was able to grab one of the ropes and pull on it.

"There's going to be mildew on this if they don't dry it off," Mia muttered darkly. "Or warm the place up."

By this time, Dr. Ivan had returned with the renowned (and, to some, infamous) scholar, Master Kraden.

Addressing Master Kraden while she put out the candle, she asked, "Can you figure out how much time has elapsed since this candle was lit?"

After much scientific mutterings that you probably have no interest in and I was unable to catch, Kraden came to the solution that it had been lit within the last half hour.

During this time, the servants...servant (boy, is Isaac cheap!)...had arrived, carrying the unthawing Kyle along with them. Mia had instructed them to bring everyone on the premises to the room. She also whispered something to Ivan, and he busied himself with the task, whatever it was.

The first to arrive was Lord Felix of Elemental Manor. A distinguished nobleman, he had been invited to visit the Isaac Manor for the weekend, along with several other lords. He unfortunately had laryngitis, which didn't make much of a difference, actually.

Following on his heals was Lord Garet of...well, its official name is Mars Manor, but it's known more commonly as Garet's All-You-Can-Eat Restaurant. Apparently, he invites people over for his enormous dinners, and it's all for free...if you can eat more than he can. No one has yet succeeded.

Kyle and Dora, the only servants of the cheap Lord Isaac, also came in, but it was nearly fifteen minutes later when Lord Alex of Alchemy Hall was able to arrive. He had been out for a ride, and had to gallop to make it back in time. Dr. Ivan had sent a mental message to him.

After Mia explained what they had found, the accusations started immediately.

"The butler did it! It's in all the mysteries!" Dora accused.

"What about equality? Maids are as every bit as suspicious as butlers!" Kyle returned.

"Never mind you two. These marks are made from Psynergy blasts, although of what element, I am not sure," Kraden remarked.

"Okay, so let's question the Adepts. Lord Felix." Mia pointed to the said nobility.

"..."

"Lord Felix?"

"..." Felix exclaimed. "...!!!!!!..."

"He can't even speak for his defence! That's proof of..."

"Laryngitis," Ivan muttered.

"Guilt!" Mia finished, ignoring Ivan. "Next, Lord Alex."

"Why would I?" Lord Alex asked in his smoothest tone. "I dislike cookies."

"I knew there was something I didn't like about you," Garet muttered.

"If you ask Master Kraden, then he will tell you that I he saw me a good fifteen minute gallop away ten minutes ago. I waved to him. And, may I point out, Kyle helped me into my saddle thirty or so minutes ago."

"Garet?" Mia asked.

"Lord Garet!" Garet said haughtily.

"Garet," Mia repeated.

"Don't address your superiors like that!" Garet continued to be haughty.

"I'm the legendary Sherlock Mia, famous throughout the world," Mia replied. "You're just a minor character to add confusion as to who is the villain. Also, I'm the main character; I can do whatever I want. So there." Mia stuck out her tongue.

"Why would I? It appears that they went after the cookies, and there aren't even any chocolate chip," he concluded sadly.

"Aha! How would you know there weren't any chocolate chip?" Dr. Ivan asked.

"..." Garet had no answer for this.

"Well, we have our three suspects. Now," Sherlock Mia looked at each one closely. "Which one of you is it?"

INTERMISSION

Can you solve the crime? Is it the enigmatic Felix? Or the even more enigmatic Alex? Or is it the enigmatic as a chocolate box Garet? Oh, yes, Lord Felix, Lord Alex, and Lord Garet.

Tick, tick, tick...

Time's up! Now, did you guess correctly?

SOLUTION

"I accuse 'Lord' Alex!" Sherlock Mia waved a threatening finger.

"Me?" Alex asked, sarcastically. "What gave me away? My airtight alibi? My lack of motive?"

"Well, here's what really gave you away. First, I thought that you were guilty as soon as you entered the room!" Mia began.

"Biases," Alex said dismissively.

"Then I asked the Random Lines Guy, and he explained the plot," Mia continued. "Okay, let me try to remember...firstly. When Sherlock Mia...hey, that's me!...called for the servants, she noticed that the place where the string was cut off was wet and cold! So, with her lightning-quick skills of deduction..."

"Her what?" Ivan asked.

"...I have no idea...well, she figured out that the strings must have cut by an Ice Missile, which melted, making it cold and damp! Next off, we've got the 'airtight alibi'. Alex knows Teleport, people!"

"What about a motive?" Ivan inquired.

"Well, the author was really vague about this one, and you'd have to be a genius at lateral thinking or something, because he thought it was already too obvious; I still think it's cheating, though. See, the pottery is red, right?"

"Right," everyone chorused, except Felix, who replied, "..."

"So, something red would blend into the pottery. What does Isaac have that's red and someone would want?"

"Has he invented some kind of red cookie?" Garet pondered.

"That red plate thing he always wears?" Kraden guessed wildly.

"!!!" Felix exclaimed.

"Felix is correct!" Mia shouted, then paused. "Wait a second, how did I know what he said?"

"???"

"Oh, well. It is...this!" Mia walked over and picked up a small stone.

"The Mars Star!" Garet ("LORD GARET!"), Kyle, and Dora yelled in shock.

"!!!" Felix exclaimed.

"In a cookie jar?" Ivan asked.

"I guess because no one would look there," Kraden supposed.

"So, you found out my plan," Alex said in the tone of voice that villains use when they're trying to make the crowd cower in terror and drop all of their popcorn onto someone else's lap, thereby making whoever got popcorn in their lap defer their attention towards the person who dumped the popcorn, so they won't notice that the evil person is in fact using the movie or television show to take over their minds and rule the world, and I'm just trying to make the world's longest run-on sentence to see if I can annoy Alex, and it appears to be working; watch his face turn red; hey, I'm making Alex get angry, and I should get some kind of award for doing that, oh, here comes the explosion, and...

"AAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Alex yelled in frustration in the tone of voice that villains use when they're trying to make...

Alex just tried to kill the author in the fashion of villains when they're...

Ow. Froth Spirals hurt. Back to the story...

"So. You. Found. Out. My. Plan," Alex gritted, still not over the run-on sentence (score!). "Well, I can just teleport out, and you'll never find me!"

Alex casts Teleport!

But the Psynergy was blocked!

"Hey, what the?" Alex asked in confusion.

"Heh," Mia smiled. "Sherlock Mia, the world's greatest detective, is prepared for everything. I had my assistant, Dr. Ivan, prepare a Bind that even the great (well, mediocre) Alex couldn't fake himself out of."

"Well, Alex, the super genius, is prepared for anything, too!" Alex told her pompously.

With that, he dived for the open window.

With that, Isaac sat up.

With that, Alex tripped over Isaac.

With that, the reader(s) maimed Yoshimi for using "with that" too much.

And changing paragraphs a lot in a feeble attempt to make this look longer.

Right.

&&&

"And that's about it," Sherlock Mia said in a let's-wrap-things-up voice. "Lord Alex was sent to jail (although I doubt he'll be there long), Isaac has been found to have only been unconscious, Garet apparently knew that there wasn't any chocolate chip because he tried to steal from the cookie jar, and Yoshimi has been released from hospital after being maimed by his reader(s). So, until next time..."

"Next time?" Dr. Ivan asked.

"Of course! Yoshimi said he'd make a series if this was popular, and since it has me in the starring role, how can it be anything but an instant success?" Mia replied.

"Right."

*****

Great story Yoshimi! Now…for the OSP members…

Griff's is the next story I have. IT IS THE LAST STORY IN LINE. SOMEONE OUT THERE (Triad (sit!), Elena, Feo…) HAS TO GIVE ME A STORY.

Another option is to have you guys write second stories. Like, randomish ones. Just whatever you come up with. So…review!

And to Kyarorain: Of course you can join. We welcome everybody!