***
I don't wanna waste my time.. so I'll just acknowledge the wondrous talent of The Ataris- "song for a mix tape", which I borrowed the lyrics from so that Sirius could sing again. Fast forwarding a few weeks now… for everybody who thinks Draezyc kicks ass, its because she's like that in real life, I have a very close relationship with her, purely because its me… hehehe… not that I go round dismembering people you must understand… that's only what I'd have been like had I lived in the hp universe at the time…
***
Halloween was soon upon Hogwarts and the corridors were decorated with garlands of orange and black crepe ribbons. Everybody was in the spirit of the festival… except for Severus Snape of course, who was being just as depressive and bitter as ever. It might have had something to do with the fact that Harry had been under his invisibility cloak that night when he and Remus had decided to appreciate the finer aspects of alcohol. Harry had seen them, and Remus hadn't found out till the next morning when a very amused Harry and Sirius had woken him and Severus up with a handful of colourful photographs. Snape had been decidedly angry at this and had had a very difficult time restraining himself from hexing Sirius into the next century.
Remus had of course managed to procure these incriminating photographs and burned them in the fire that same day, but he couldn't help shake the feeling that Sirius had something else up his sleeve, it was the mischievous grin Sirius wore whenever he was around both Remus and Snape at the same time. It was a particular grin that Remus recognised well, it could only mean trouble. Big trouble.
The traditional Hogwarts Halloween feast would begin in a few hours, and already Remus could smell the distinct smell of the Hogwarts House Elves cooking. Sometimes Remus had to wonder whether the elves made this smell waft around the castle on purpose, to drive both students and teachers crazy with hunger…
"I guess I'll never figure out, what womankind is all about."
"How's that Sirius?" Remus looked up from the homework essays he had been grading.
"I mean, Eddie." Sirius gestured with a piece of parchment. "I'm trying to write a song."
"Oh?" Remus peered over the table to look at the scrawled words and angry scribbling outs that graced the page. "And this makes sense to you?"
"No." Sirius scratched his elbow. "It makes no sense at all. That's the problem you see."
"Well what are you trying to sing about?" Remus assumed his thoughtful pose.
"Women." Sirius stated.
"Well, you've got a pretty wide range of things to write about in that category." Remus smiled faintly. "You writing about how wonderful they are by any chance?"
"Damn right." Sirius nodded, "and sexy… and attractive and mysterious…. And …. That sort of thing."
"Basically you're writing a porn song." Remus grabbed the piece of paper from his friend, and immediately thrust it back at him.
"Basically, yeah." Sirius grinned. "Oh come on, like you've never written one like this."
"Well actually no, I haven't" Remus huffed. "I don't tend to go round the red light district of Knockturn Alley either."
"Oh you so did!" Sirius laughed. "Maybe it wasn't your fault that you were plastered out of your mind that night, but you so did!"
"When was this?" Remus frowned, distinctly not remembering going anywhere near the wizarding red light district before.
"Harry's christening party… well just after anyway." Sirius grinned. "You seemed to be almost paralytic after just a few pints."
"I don't remember."
"Obviously." Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, about his song."
"I am not helping you write a porn song." Remus stated loudly, "Not for the world."
"It isn't bleedin' porn!!" Sirius shouted, "if you want porn go take a look at Trelawney's wardrobe!"
Remus' jaw dropped and Sirius felt a blush zip up his neck. "And how exactly would you know about that?"
Sirius' jaw was moving but no sound was coming out. Remus shook his head sadly. "And what about Edea, does she know?"
"Bloody hell man! I haven't been mucking about with Sybill since I was fifteen!" Sirius had found his voice. "I was just making a point that got a bit out of hand."
"I can see that!" Remus laughed, still shaking his head. "You had me going there for a moment. You should watch your mouth or you might end up saying something incriminating"
"Oh don't worry, I say incriminating things all the time, its all part of being me." Sirius mockingly saluted Remus. "Oh fellow Marauder… it is part of our dogma."
"What is?"
"Anna!" Sirius grinned, running over. "So super to see you!" he crushed her in a giant hug.
Remus smiled, mouthing the words afternoon, my love, behind Sirius' back.
"You can help!" Sirius bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, hands buried deep in his pockets. "I'm trying to write a song."
"Don't listen to him, he's in a very dirty mood." Remus advised with a wink.
"And when, might I ask, is he not in a dirty mood?" Anna raised an eyebrow at Sirius who had pointed his wand at the piece of parchment, and was wiggling his rear to the beat of the song he was composing.
"That, is an age-old question to which nobody has really found a suitable answer…" Remus sighed, as Sirius started headbanging, his long black hair going crazy. Nothing will ever change with Sirius Black. He thought to himself.
The piece of parchment was emanating some ska-punk music, to which Sirius was loudly chanting his unfinished lyrics, filling the gaps with well placed "oh yeah!"s or "BEOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"s
"If only Harry were here to see this." Remus muttered to nobody in particular. "This would change his whole perspective on his godfather."
"I'm already scarred for life." Anna agreed.
"hey, I'll have you know I have a very nice arse… Don't go criticising it." Sirius gave his rear an extra wiggle or effect.
"Please stop." Remus moaned, covering his face with his hands. "This is worse than being subjected to an hour of the Wyrd Sisters."
"Beow beeeeeoooooooow beaaaaaaaaaaahhhh beow beow!" It was clear that Sirius was no longer listening "Did you ever listen to the words and melody? Do you feel the pain inside the way that it hurts meeee!?"
"Well it seems like he actually has some lyrics." Remus sounded vaguely impressed.
"Falling for you was the easy thing to do…" Sirius was now playing air guitar, and much to Remus' annoyance he had started to jump on the tables and chairs. "I love you more than I ever loved anyone before. hey silly girl I'm begging youuu!"
"I think he missed his calling, he should have been a rock star." Remus announced
"Wrong, buddy, ska punk star. Skater pants and baggy t-shirts… with those trainers and tennis socks… yes!" Sirius dropped his act, and suddenly transformed into Padfoot, and bounded hurriedly out of the door.
"I have a bad feeling he's just had an epiphany." Remus cringed.
"That does nothing to calm my sense of dread."
"I didn't know Phaerrens had a sixth sense."
"Yes well, you don't know a lot about Phaerrens, you and that Snape disappeared half intoxicated, thus you never heard the rest."
"That was weeks ago!" Remus exclaimed.
"yes, but you never asked."
"So you have some sort of premonitionary powers."
"NO, I was just messing you about, it was quite amusing from my point of view."
Remus scowled. "Sirius is having an effect on you… he shall be quashed under the mighty power of Moony's thumb!"
"Er… yes… okay… if you have to do that."
"Well no, but I was just making a Marauder statement." Remus smiled shyly. "I haven't made on in a while and I thought it was about time."
"Perhaps its about time to get down to the great hall for the feast?" Anna glanced at her watch. "Or do you want to make another Marauder Statement by being late?"
"No, I think I'll leave that one for Sirius." Remus laughed. "Or the Marauders in Training."
"Two sets of Marauders… that could be very, very destructive."
"Not as destructive as our rival group… the Weasley twins have set up the 'Original Pranksters' I have a feeling a very large prank fiasco could be on the cards."
"You have rival gangs… Isn't that a bit childish?"
"Have you met Sirius Black?" Remus raised an eyebrow, following Anna down the narrow corridor. "I'm sure he was christened Sirius Immature Black."
"I agree actually. But he can sing when he puts his mind to it." Anna commented, pushing aside a rather suggestive suit of armour from her path, which continued to make lewd gestures. "But the Weasley twins don't know who Moony and Padfoot are, so they don't know the Marauders are here in the vicinity."
"Ah, but that makes it oh so more exciting… They're a bit worried, because they know Sirius the dog is called Padfoot… But they don't know of course, that it's the same Padfoot. They just believe Dumbledore named him after that wondrous Marauder."
"Why do I get the impression you're scheming?"
"I have no idea." Remus smiled innocently. "Me? Plan anything? Never!"
"Of course not."
"That's right."
"Of course it is."
"Yes, it is."
"Remus, shut up."
"Oh… alright."
~*~
Remus got the biggest shock of his life as he sat down in his chair at the professor's table.
Padfoot. Sitting in Dumbledore's chair.
NO, this is all wrong, what the hell is he thinking?
Padfoot was sitting there with a festive little orange bow tie round his neck, in place of a collar. He was wagging his tail in the seat and panting loudly, his muzzle clearly expressing joy.
Some of the students were eyeing the dog warily, but they weren't as shocked as what happened next. It was clear why Padfoot had taken Dumbledore's chair, it was a throne to acknowledge Padfoot's supreme Marauder talent for that moment, over at the Gryffindor, the unsuspecting Fred and George Weasley were sent rocketing up towards the enchanted ceiling, the bottom of their robes on fire. A purplish haze rose up after them, forming the words. "Thou shalt not mess with the Marauders Snr"
"Marauders Senior?" Anna asked, "Isn't that you?"
"Shush!" Remus hissed under his breath, "I don't wish to lose complete control of my classes… this would be the final straw."
The hall was an uproar. Professor McGonagall was giving Remus and Padfoot strange looks whilst trying to charm the twins back down again, some first years were nervously checking their seats. Remus glanced across at Snape, who was now shooting a look of pure venom towards Padfoot. And for good reason. He remembers exactly what Fred and George are experiencing right now… That was James' idea… I'm sure he'll pick on Harry for weeks now… Oh well… I'm sure Padfoot had his reasons for that… little outburst of Marauderity…
By the time Dumbledore had entered the hall. Everything had died down to vague whispers and giggles. Fred and George enjoyed the attention, and were watching Padfoot with curiosity.
Once again, there was no Draezyc. The Slytherins had taken Pytheus into their care as one of their own. Pytheus sat at the Slytherin table alongside Draco Malfoy. As Remus picked up his fork, he noticed a folded piece of parchment lying beside his goblet. The emerald ink was unmistakeably that of the Snapes.
It read- "Sirius Black is next on His List. Draezyc has already had to dispose of Karkaroff earlier this evening. Tell Black to be wary and to keep his profile as low as possible." Not much chance of that, thanks so much for telling me this now, after Padfoot's little display… So appropriate… Well, I suppose, at least he told us… Dispose of Karkaroff, sounds nasty.
"What about me?" Anna whispered, reading the note.
"You're a side project of some sort, his ulterior motive is to rid the world of Harry Potter, but to do this he needs you, thus to gain you he will strike as many people as possible that could be of use to get to you. Plus he wants to kill Sirius anyway, I mean, it'd bring Harry to his knees… Sirius is really the only family that Harry has…"
"He has you too."
"yes, but I'm not considered as family, he thinks of me as a friend, and professor… but not as family."
"You put yourself down too much." Anna mused "I wonder what Draezyc is up to with Karkaroff…"
"Oh you make it sound so sordid." Remus shook his head.
"Excuse me, are you defending the Death Eater regime here?"
"No, of course not."
"Well it sounded like that." Anna rolled her eyes at him. "You know, holding your fork in front of you like that can't be healthy."
"Wha?… oh sorry." Remus placed the fork back down. "I forgot about that."
"Too busy babysitting Padfoot?"
"one hundred percent correct." Remus sighed. "All we can hope for is that he doesn't burst out into a barking song."
"You realised you've just jinxed us all by saying that?"
"One can but hope…" Remus looked up to the sky… "Oh great one, if there is such a preson… or divine being actually… sorry about that, please grant my wish that Padfoot does not start to warble whine bark or emit any noise for the rest of the evening."
"Any noise? Bit harsh don't you think?"
"Not in this case." Remus grinned. "Sirius is the equivalent of a giggling girl once he gets going…"
