A/N: If wishes were horses . . . then I would have a lot of them. Yet I would still not own LotR. Darnit -__-


Chapter 7

Horror of Unspeakable Horror!


Lothlórien does wonders for ones spirit. Even when one has just pushed a wizard off a bridge and made their hero cry. Tina hung back behind the Fellowship, gazing up at the golden mallorn. It wasn't exactly like she had imagined it, but it was certainly beautiful. She wasn't sure what it was - perhaps a combination of her natural desire for Middle Earth and her unfortunate Mary-Sueism, but Tina was beginning to feel uncharacteristically . . . giddy. There was no other word for it. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Ai Eru, but Lothlórien smelled good! With an idiotic giggle she stuck her arms out and began to spin around in a lopsided circle, hoping she didn't crash into one of the trees. She weave around the golden wood, her circles becoming more erratic and her giggles louder as she got dizzier. This was fun.

As one would expect, Tina's shoes were not made for spinning, and mid circle she tripped over a root and landed with her face in the leaves. Tina sat up and rubbed her nose. That was it - these shoes had to go. She pulled one off her delicate white foot and wrenched off a heel. She was just starting in on the other one when the Author spoke again.

-Alinagawathawen finished her dance . . .-

'Dance?! DAMN!' Tina cursed herself for falling under the Author's sway.

-. . . and sat down. She looked up above her at the green trees . . .-

The mallorn around Tina promptly disappeared and was replaced by regular green foliage. Tina growled loudly and threw one of her heels at one of the trees. It bounced off with a clatter and someone put a hand on her shoulder. She flicked it off and turned around, expecting to see Legolas.

But it wasn't Legolas - it was an elf she'd never seen before, probably one of the Galadhrim. She waited for him to stick an arrow in her face, and was most surprised when he instead bowed.

"Lady Mary-Sue, I welcome you to Lothroien!" he said, and Tina twitched at the mis-spelling. She glanced over to the Fellowship, which was surrounded by arrow-bearing elves.

"We caught these interlopers in the wood, Lady." the random elf said.

-"Let them go Nibinurion," Alinagawathawen said, "they are my friends. . ."-

"Uh . . . yeah. Interlopers . . . I'm one too." Tina said.

"An interloper?" Nibinurion said, his generic Elvish face wrinkling with confusion. "Nonsense, you are never an interloper here . . . come, we shall take you to see the Lord and Lady."

Tina had a bad feeling about this, but she followed.

---

The sky turned dark quite quickly as Tina entered Lórien. She spent the better part of her time in it with her mouth hanging open in amazement. Lórien was magnificent! It was even better in person!

"A Elbereth Gilthoniel!" Tina said as she craned her neck back to look at a huge tree. She'd been saying it about every two minutes since coming to the city, but no one had seemed to notice. Her wonder finally began to decrease when they all started to climb the stairs.

Tina had never imagined there could be so many stairs in one place. Her legs were screaming already and they weren't even halfway up. She peered over the edge and instantly felt dizzy. She was beginning to wonder if they'd ever stop when they finally did.

Legolas had managed to find a place next to Tina when Celeborn and Galadriel appeared. Tina's mouth dropped open again. It was THEM . . . the real Galadriel and Celeborn! Mary Sue or not, this was cool!

The Lord and Lady stopped and coolly observed the Fellowship.

"Nine there were, but eight I see. Where is Gandalf?" Celeborn asked.

"He has fallen into shadow . . ." Galadriel murmured, and she stared right at Tina. Tina tried to say something, but her vocal chords seemed to be suffering from temporary paralysis.

"Uh . . ." she said, staring with wide eyes at the Lady. She must have looked very stupid, standing there with her mouth hanging open, but Galadriel didn't seem to notice.

"Welcome to Lórien, weary travelers." the Lady said. "You have come far. Now you shall rest with us."

Here Tina actually managed to shut her mouth. Then Galadriel walked forward and placed her hands on Tina's shoulders. Tina's eyes opened to about the size of dinner plates.

"Mary-Sue . . . long have you traveled out of Lórien." Galadriel said, smiling. "No doubt you have been of much assistance to the Fellowship." Tina tried to frown, but doing so seemed impossible when Galadriel was staring at you. "Welcome home,

'. . .HOME?!' Tina thought.

"Welcome home Mary-Sue, my long lost daughter . . ." Galadriel finished. Tina threw back her head and her horrified wail rang through Lórien.

"NOOO!"