Let Them Eat Cake
Chapter Three
Disclaimers: I don't own anything recognizable. Fiwen is my character. There is a small homage to Pirates of the Caribbean in this chapter.
Author's Note: The "well aimed comment" Legolas makes later in this chapter, I think, might need briefly explained. To do so in the story caused some unnatural lagging. When Legolas says Thranduil will welcome Elrond Peredhil as he comes seeking refuge, there are a few reasons -- in my humble view -- that make it cutting. First, Thranduil and Elrond are not the best of friends, and to seek refuge from someone you'd rather not spend loads of time with... yeah. Secondly, in pointing out Elrond's half-elven nature, Legolas makes clear just why Thranduil does not take Elrond quite as seriously as he probably should. Again, this is all just in my humble view. :o) Well, would you look at that -- a serious A/N from Kellen! The world is ending.
Author's Note 2: I'm setting up for my major zaniness in the last chapter (which is the next chapter), so this chapter is less zany than one might expect. I still think it's good, but hey... :o) Anyway, next chapter has Legolas with a blow gun, Estel with his hand stuck in a tree, a crazed Elrond, twins confusion, and people covered in food. I've got to set all that up!!
Elrond, lord of Imladris, strode into the library just as the sun's rays were caressing the bindings of the ages-old books that lined the shelves. Seemingly absentmindedly, he snared a pastry as he walked to his desk. He smiled as he sat down. Fiwen and Cook had done an admirable job. Estel had planted pastries right where he knew every one of the elves that passed by would grab one. It was devious. A perfect prank.
If perhaps the concoction he'd put in it had been more potent than water.
Elrond didn't know which was funnier: the fact that Estel had loaded the pastries with water, or the fact that Estel had actually broken into the kitchen to steal a vial of water.
Either way, it was quite a thing.
Elrond chuckled to himself and bit into the pastry. Other than it being a tad damp, it really was very sweet, indeed. It was time to get some real work done. The others had this well in hand by now.
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Elrohir snagged two pastries and flipped one to Elladan. The elder twin caught it cleanly, smirking as he caught sight of Estel watching furtively around a corner.
"Keeping tabs, is he, on who's eating these things?"
Elrohir grinned and answered quietly, "I don't think he wants all of the household to eat these. Only a certain few."
"Speaking of, are we grabbing one for our Silvan friend?"
"No need," came the call from up the hallway. Legolas rounded the corner, carrying his quiver and bow. "I'll grab one on my way by."
"Where are you headed?"
"Making arrows. I want to have a full quiver before leaving for Mirkwood next week." Legolas skirted past them, grabbing a pastry on his way by. "I will be in the Hall of Fire."
Elrohir smirked, and looked expectantly down the hallway. 'Hall of Fire' was the cue. Elladan smacked him on the shoulder. "Estel is watching," he whispered quietly and fiercely.
"He'll hear you."
Anything, though, that Estel might have heard was drowned out by the scream.
Fiwen came crashing around the corner, stumbling and falling to her knees, screaming all the while. Her purple-streaked hair swung wildly behind her. Before the three elves down the hall could start toward her, she sprang to her feet -- wincing a bit as she did so -- and careened down the hallway and smashing into Legolas. His quiver dropped as he reached out to catch her, but she ricocheted and came to rest in Elladan's arms.
Elladan sank to the ground, holding a still-screaming Fiwen, and Elrohir came to his side. "Fiwen? Fiwen, come now. What is it?"
In response, Fiwen screamed in his face.
Elladan whispered in her ear, "All right, that's loud."
"The purpose," Fiwen gasped, out of breath, "was to be convincing, was it not?"
Elrohir raised an eyebrow before turning to Legolas, appropriately panicked look planted on his countenance. "Run. Get Ada."
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Estel watched in morbid fascination as Legolas careened down the hall, running past him and never acknowledging the man's presence. Estel turned his gaze away from the running elf's rapidly retreating back and focussed on his brothers' vain attempts to calm Fiwen. He watched, wide-eyed, as Fiwen refused to calm. Elladan continued speaking to her, but even the soothing cadence of the high tongue had no effect. There were a few moments where Fiwen would quiet, as if to catch her breath, but then the screaming would begin again.
Estel chewed his lip; something was very wrong. Something was very wrong indeed.
Elves did not just go mad. Someone had done this to Fiwen. Worry and anger crept up in him; he'd find out who did this.
And, oh, when he did...
Estel's face hardened and he turned, plan of action already forming in his mind.
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Legolas turned a corner at full speed and spun on his heel, neatly avoiding Elrond, who had been coming up the hallway. The prince fell in step beside Elrond.
"Things are progressing?"
Legolas nodded. "You are needed to make an appearance, look worried, and pronounce doom upon all elves."
Elrond raised an eyebrow. "Nothing I have not done before. Is she going to die this time?"
Legolas shrugged. "I don't believe anytime soon; I rather think she wants to draw out the torment, for Estel's sake."
"And I used to think that Fiwen was a such a sweet tempered elf, with no malice in her thoughts."
"And I used to think you were a good judge of character."
Elrond sighed. "You've been around Estel too long."
The blond prince shrugged. "Life is always interesting with him around."
"So, fighting off orcs and spiders in Mirkwood is deemed non-interesting?"
"That gets old. Boring."
Elrond chuckled, then sobered. "Our victim is coming."
Legolas grinned and nodded. He had barely quickened his step and put on the appropriate worried countenance when Estel approached them.
"Ada, what's happening?"
Elrond shook his head, glancing at Legolas. "I know not."
"This was done to her."
Elrond raised an eyebrow at the fierce tone. "Likely," he replied.
Estel muttered something under his breath, and pushed between Legolas and Elrond, and stalked down the hallway.
For a moment, both elves were silent. Legolas turned to watch Estel stalk away, jaw slack, before speaking. "Did he just say 'they'll pay'?"
"Aye, he did."
Legolas closed his eyes as a smile formed. "This is going to be too good."
Elrond nodded. "When he finds out it was him --"
"Oh, aye, that'll be good."
"Then when he finds out it was a prank, he'll believe he was set up." Elrond paused. "Spiders and orcs, eh?"
"Thinking of sending Estel away once he finds out what happened?"
"Thinking of a vacation. Even old elf-lords dare not cross a righteously angry young Dunedain."
Legolas smiled. "I'm sure Thranduil would welcome Elrond Peredhil as he seeks refuge."
Elrond snorted. "You have been spending too much time with Estel. Your words are cutting, youngling." The elf lord smiled at Legolas, though. Old elf lords also take teasing. "You, my friend, are entirely too young to be so..."
"Cutting?" Legolas supplied when Elrond stalled.
Elrond nodded.
"I do what I can."
"Apparently. That was a well-aimed comment."
"My apologies."
"None needed," Elrond answered. "Who knows? That sharp tongue may come in handy one of these days."
Legolas raised an eyebrow. "I'll stick with my bow, thank you."
Elrond laughed. "I suppose we should see to our half-mad she-elf."
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"I will not."
Elladan sighed. He knew that tone. It was the tone of one who expected to be obeyed immediately; one who never would have thought that anyone would argue with the command. He heard it often enough from his adar. "Ada," he said, "you have gone this far."
"And no further."
"But, Ada," Elrohir cut in, "you ate a pastry. He'll expect something."
"He has not connected Fiwen's behavior with the pastries. He's still retracing her every step."
"Estel's smart enough to put it together, and he put a tray in your library. He'll expect you to have eaten one."
"I will not."
Elladan opened his mouth, but Elrond held up his hand. "No."
Silence fell. The twins exchanged a glance. "Ada," they pleaded together.
"There is no way."
"Where's my blow gun?"
Three dark-haired elves turned to the door, argument forgotten as the inane question registered.
"Your what, Legolas?" Elrohir asked.
"Blow gun." The prince of Mirkwood grinned. "Fiwen can't be the only elf driven mad. It would be suspicious."
"But the blow gun?" Elladan furrowed his brow.
Legolas grinned. "Trust me."
Unbidden scenarios lept to the front of Elrond's mind and he tried unsuccessfully to keep his smile under wraps. Just the thought of Legolas using a blow gun and a sharp wit to portray madness was enough to set the elf lord's mind reeling.
"You three are too much," Elrond stated. "It is a wonder I am still sane."
Elladan grinned. "It is our hope that by the end of this you will not be."
"Please, Ada," Elrohir chimed in.
Elrond closed his eyes and sighed. The twins grinned. They knew they had him.
"It will be on my own terms."
"Of course," Elladan said quickly.
"My own way."
"Wouldn't have it any other way," Elrohir stated.
"And it must be at the opportune moment." Elrond paused. "And don't do anything stupid."
Elladan exchanged a look with Elrohir and Legolas. "Our word on it. Nothing stupid." He turned to Legolas. "I know where the gun is; come with us."
Elrond watched them go. "I fear it is too late to avoid stupidity."
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One chapter left!! Hope you have enjoyed this so far.
Cheers, Kellen
