Cast in the name of God
Fooly Disturbing
Nothing interesting ever happens here in Mabase. It rarely has. Every day is
just as dull as the one before it, and it can get rather mind numbing. I take the same
route to school that I always have. It takes me over a bridge close to my house.
Every time I walk down this bridge, I am reminded of a time, about three years ago now,
when my life changed forever. She came, and turned my world upside down. I STILL
don't quite understand everything that happened that year. Why did she come in the first
place? What did she really want with me? And why, after all we went through, did she
just leave me without a second thought? I told her I loved her, did that mean anything?
For Awhile, it hurt to think about what happened but I've moved on.
After Haruko left, everything was still the same, yet something inside of me had
changed. I've learned to be satisfied with life, and to appreciate it, because you never
know when things can go all Fooly Cooly again.
OPENING THEME
Naota was feeling unusually edgy as he began his school day, one fine
October day. He took an envelope out of his desk and looked at it again. It was a
letter from his brother. Tasuku had finally made to the Major Leagues, and was playing
for the Chicago Cubs. The envelope contained a picture of his brother with
Mamimi. They had gotten together in America a few years before, shortly after Tasuku's
American girlfriend had died in a mysterious fire.
They were planning to get married soon. Naota sighed, and began to
think about the last time he had seen Mamimi.
Now listen! My name is Naota; don't ever call me Takkun again!
I've often wished I could change what happened that day. I know I
hurt Mamimi, and I've regretted it allot. If only I could see her again, I would
make it right.
He sat at his desk and looked around the classroom. Ninamori took her
seat in front of him, talking to her new boyfriend. After Haruko had left, Naota and
Ninamori had actually dated for awhile. They had broken up several months before.
(Some needless back story, from my heart to yours)
"Mars is the Fourth Planet away from the Sun. The Earth, being mostly
harmless, is the third planet from the sun!"
Naota groaned, and leaned back in his chair as he listened to another
of his teacher's annoying lectures. It was just another boring day, like every
other one before it. The teacher was rambling on about the solar system,
and some of the explorers of the universe.
"Some of the most famous explorers of the universe include Carl Sagan,
Copernicus, Captain Kirk, and Arthur Dent!"
Suddenly, the excruciating boredom was interrupted by a strange sound
from outside. He turned and looked out the window, and what he saw made him
freeze in his seat. He could see steam billowing on the horizon, and it was coming
from the Medical Meccanica plant.
Medical Mechanica is acting up again; it hasn't done that since...
since. It's been three years since the last time!!
The steam billows out of it, covering the town, like some kind of omen.
Ninamori was sitting in front of him, and she had suddenly taken on a very
serious expression.
"Behold, the cloud of steam comes forth from the great iron, it heralds
her return" she said grimly.A pall of silence had fallen over the room, every face
was grim, and the lighthearted atmosphere gave way to an eerie ambience of dread.
CUT TO STUDIO
EVA: "An eerie ambience of dread?" What the heck is that supposed to mean.
NVA: I think it's some lame American writer's trick, that they use to create a
surreal atmosphere.
EVA: Oh, like in that "dramatic anime"?
NVA: Something like that, but this writer just isn't very good.
(Just then, Haruko's voice actress pops in)
HVA: Wait a minute! This dude's an American? I thought he was from
Nebraska!
BACK TO ANIME FANFICTION
The bell rang shortly after that, and Naota got up from his desk and
A thick fog was resting over Mabase, and he could barely see in front of him.
Naota walked home slowly, stopping several times to get his bearings in the mist. Every
step he took was uncertain, as he stumbled his way along.
(Too many uses of the word "He").
Soon, Naota arrived at his front door, and a sense of relief came over him.
"Finally, I'm home" he muttered to himself. His house was completely silent, except
for the ticking of the clock in the bakery.
"Dad? Grandpa? Is anybody home?" He yelled.
Suddenly, an all to familiar voice pierced through the silence like a knife.
"They're not here, Takkun."
Naota froze to the spot, unable to move "Wh-Who's there?" he said in a choking
voice. There was silence for a few moments, then he heard the voice say
"I'm Baaaack!" He recognized it now, it was Haruko's voice. Naota ran
upstairs to his bedroom and flung open the door, there was nobody there. He
dropped his school books on the floor, then flung himself down on the bed, and fell
asleep within minutes.
"Naota-san, dinner's ready"
Naota sat up and looked out the window. The fog had cleared, and he could
see the sun setting.
"Hmm, I guess it was a dream" he muttered to himself. He got up and went
down to the dining room. What he saw while standing at the doorway froze him
on the spot. There was someone at the table who wasn't supposed to be there.
Haruko was back, wearing her housekeeper's outfit. She had a brand new Paul Reed
Smith bass slung over her shoulder.
MANGA SCRIPT
Naota: AHHGH!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!??
Haruko: Hello my dear sweet Takkun, did you miss me?
Kamon: Oh Naota, I forgot to tell you this, but I let Haruko leave on lunch break,
she's back now, as you can see.
Naota: Lunch break? She's been gone for three years! How can that have been a
lunch break?
Haruko: Look Takkun, I could try to explain the whole "Space-Time continuum" concept
but you don't have a brain to understand it with. Just sit down and eat your curry.
END MANGA SCRIPT
Naota was furious, he turned around and ran back up to his room, grabbing
Haruko's old bass guitar from its stand. He then charged back down to the dining room,
intent on teaching Haruko a lesson right then and there (Stupid). Haruko's eyes brightened
up as they locked onto his.
MANGA SCRIPT
Haruko (standing up in her chair): Oh, Takkun! You brought it back to me! I knew you
would when we met again! (Haruko springs forth from her chair, and lands squarely on top
of a screaming Naota).
Naota: AHHHGH! GET OFF OF ME!!!
Haruko: Mmmm! Delicious earthling. (Begins licking Naota's face)
Kamon: How shocking!! My own son Fooly Coolying with Haruko-san under my
own roof! Before my very eyes! (All this time, Haruko is wrestling around with Naota
on the floor, Naota is screaming and struggling uselessly).
Grandpa: Hey, She can do that with my head any day!!
Naota: HARUKO!!! STOP LICKING ME!!!! (Pushes Haruko back away from him,
but her tongue just grows longer. Continues Licking).
Kamon: Fooly Cooly all over the place! Naota you ought to be ashamed of yourself!
Naota: She's forcing me into it! It's not my ide...mmmgh! (Haruko sticks her tongue
in his mouth).
Kamon: That settles it, Grandpa, we'll have to take Haruko-san away from Naota.
Grandpa: I'm for it! Heh heh.
Haruko (Sitting up straight, while pinning Naota's face against the floor) Not
gonna happen mister! Takkun's coming with me.
Naota: No i'm not you psycho!! Get off of me! NOOOOO!!! (A strange growth begins
sprouting from Naota's forehead). Wha-What's happening!!
Haruko: Wow, it really does swell up and get stiff! (Begins rubbing the growth)
Kamon: What!! You would kidnap my son away to Fooly Cooly in your own lair?
How DARE you do such a thing!?
Haruko: Oh, c'mon! Takkun's a full fledged man now, I've been doing it with him
for years!!
Kamon: What!? What have you been doing with him?
Haruko: MOUTH TO MOUTH!!!! (As if no one saw THAT coming).
END MANGA
Naota finally managed to get free from Haruko's grip, he hurriedly went
and took his place at the table. He looked into the plate of steaming hot curry
in front of him. Grandpa had collapsed onto the table in a fit of choking,
"Water!!" he screamed in a raspy voice. Canti was sitting at his usual place, shoveling
down his curry. Naota turned away, and was about to get up and leave, when he
saw Haruko standing behind with her guitar, poised and ready to strike.
"Eat your curry Takkun" she said in a sinister voice.
Naota turned back and gulped. He dug his spoon into the plate of curry,
and quickly shoved it into his mouth. Suddenly, Naota felt as if he had swallowed
a cup of molten lava. He gasped for breath.
"I know you don't like spicy food, Takkun. So I got you the mild stuff
again."
Naota convulsed, and sent the plate of curry flying everywhere. Where it
landed, flowers of unspeakable beauty sprang up, the birds sang a cheerful song,
and the world was reborn into a new age of peace. Sadly, Naota was unable to
appreciate the rebirth of the world, for he had passed out cold on the floor.
(By the time Naota awakened, the world had reverted to its decadent ways.)
Naota slowly opened his eyes, and saw the bottom of his brother's bed
above him. His mouth still burned from the curry. He lay there for a few minutes,
gathering his thoughts. Why had Haruko come back after so long? What did she want
this time? Did Haruko have feelings for him?
"She can't have feelings for me, all she's ever done is use me" he thought
bitterly.
Naota felt tense and uneasy as he pondered these questions.
The low, rumbling sound of Haruko's new bass guitar filled the air.
"Haruko" he said slowly "why did you come back?"
"I need you, Takkun" came the reply.
Naota was puzzled, "Wha-Why do you need me?"
"Your head is the only one that works" came the obvious response.
"I should have known" he grumbled "you just want me so you can grow
weird robots out of my forehead, whatever. You'll just use me again, like you did
last time." He said abruptly. Naota felt uncertainty come over him. He remembered vividly
how Haruko had treated him the last time she had been there. There was a part of him
that hoped she would never come back. But now that she was back in his life, he felt
a strange sense of relief, and hope. (He was losing his brain again)
Haruko leapt off of the top bunk, and crouched down next to Naota.
"Takkun" she said slowly "you're the only one who can help me!"
"Oh come on" Naota said defiantly "you don't mean that. To you I'm just
a primitive primate!"
Haruko perked up "Primitive primate! Hostile Blind date!" She spun her
guitar around her, creating a wind that sent the contents of Naota's room flying.
When Naota looked up, Haruko was wearing the rabbit costume she had worn
in episode five of the last series.
"And I'm a Playmate!" she triumphantly screamed.
Naota got up and trudged toward the door, feeling quite sick to his
stomach. Suddenly, Haruko jerked him back into the room using her bass. Naota
was sent sprawling onto the floor, and Haruko was on top of him in an instant.
"You know the two things playmates do, don't you Takkun?"
She asked with a twisted smile on her face.
"Uhh...."
"First we play" Haruko leaned so close to him that her rabbit ears
touched his head. "And then......" An intense fear gripped Naota, and he
began shaking uncontrollably. He developed a sudden and nasty facial tic.
Naota's father suddenly burst through the door, just as Haruko was getting ready
to lick him in the face again. Naota lost his head completely.
"I'll never go with you, you lunatic!!!" he jumped up and ran for the door,
a blind panic had taken him. As he raced out his front door, and down the street he
heard Haruko's voice saying "Come to my world, Takkun. You WILL COME!!!
Heh heh heh!"
All Naota cared about now was escaping, and finding a place to hide. Just then, he
heard a sound that made his blood run cold, the sound of a Vespa engine starting.
He knew he would never escape her now, but kept running blindly as the Vespa
raced up behind him.
"It's no use Takkun!! You will never escape!! BATTER UP!!!!"
Naota could feel the growth on his forehead getting heavier. He suddenly felt
himself being violently pulled off his feet. Haruko slammed him down on the seat
behind her. He was caught. Everything happened rather quickly after that, as Naota
gave in to his fate.
Haruko took off in a flash, nearly making Naota fall off the back of her Vespa.
Naota held on as their speed continued to rise. He began praying to
every angel that he'd heard mentioned on Silent Mobius. (And a few that weren't)
"Michael, Gabriel, Zittramaka!! Please help me"
"What are you prattling on about Takkun?" Haruko asked.
Just then, they hit a bump, and Naota was once again nearly thrown off the
Vespa. He clinged to it for dear life.
"Takuma? Tingblad? Anybody?" He muttered.
"Haruko, slow down!" he Gasped
"I can't" she yelled back "we're not up to the magic speed yet!"
"The Magic Speed?! You're gonna get us killed!"
Naota watched as the speedometer continued to rise. 75, 76, 78, 80.
"Haruko, you'll......"
"Oh yeah, that's it baby, don't stop now we're almost there"
Naota closed his eyes and readied himself to die.
"EIGHTY EIGHT MILES PER HOUR!!!!! HA HA HA HA HAAAA!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Haruko began swerving back and forth madly. Naota's life flashed before his
eyes, he could see himself lying in a bloody, lifeless heap on the asphalt. Haruko
standing over him with a sinister grin on her face. There was a crowd of people
watching in curiosity. Finally, a man in white robes approached Haruko and spoke.
"You are the one that was prophesied, oh goddess! You come to us
from the stars, and bring death with you on your mighty Vespa."
"Yeah, but only for Takkun!!!" Haruko replied cheerfully.
Soon Naota awakened, and looked around. He could see that they were
flying.
"Haruko, where are you taking me?!"
"Into space, Takkun, to my ship"
Naota was terrified.
"You're taking me into outer SPACE!! I'M AN EARTHLING, I'LL DIE
OUT THERE!!!!"
"You won't die Takkun, at least not yet"
"BUT HOW WILL I BREATHE OUT THERE!? WHAT WILL I EAT?!
THERE'S NO WAY I'LL SURVIVE GOING THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE!!"
Haruko slowly turned and faced Naota.
"Takkun, it's just a show, you should really just relax"
ENDING THEME
Well, it looks like our intrepid hero is beginning the greatest adventure of his life.
Perhaps this journey will give him an opportunity to answer life's most pressing questions.
Such as, What is Fooly Cooly anyway?
Next time on Fooly Cooly, Episode two, Rendezvous. Check ya Later!!
