Disclaimer: I own nothing but the clothes on my back. And in my closet. And most of the stuff in my bedroom.

Oh yes, and I might as well say this now before I forget. Just Call me Mary Sue takes place, for plot purposes, after all three of the Lord of the Rings movies have come out in theaters. Which is why Tina is utterly unsurprised at all of the un-book-canon in TTT movieverse. I never said she had to like it, though. . .


Chapter 11

A Pitiful Attempt at Cliffhanger-ing.


Legolas stopped running and shaded his eyes with his slender hand as he looked into the sky.

"A red sun . . ." he mused. "Blood has been shed this night."

"AAAUGH! MY GODDAM FRIGGIN' ANKLE! AAAAUGH!"

The elf jumped in surprise, managing to look rather flustered and un-elvishly ungraceful for a moment. Behind him, Tina hopped on one foot, clutching her injured ankle in her hands as she spat a volley of curses that made the Elf, Man, and Dwarf observing her blush. She flopped over onto the grass, writhing like a fish out of water and still screaming like a banshee.

So much for Elvish grace and dignity.

"Mary Sue, you are injured!" Legolas cried, rushing to Tina's aid as the Author took hold of his wits. Tina firmly bit her lip to stop herself from screaming from her pain and sheer fury at Legolas' immense case of OOC. She snarled at the glassy-eyed elf as she prodded her ankle and winced.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner! Tell Sherlock here what he's won!" she grunted sarcastically through her lip as she examined her foot. Her high heels had finally erred on the Rohirric plains, and Tina's ankle was rapidly swelling to the size and color of an eggplant.

"Sprained ankle," Aragorn concurred as he examined Tina's injury. "It is a shame I have no Athlas to heal it with."

Tina groaned, not only with pain and anger at Aragorn's clear misspelling (she didn't even want to think about him suggesting using athelas on a sprained ankle), but also with dismay. Sure, she'd pretty much been sure that her ankle was sprained. But it felt much worse now that she had to admit it. She'd sprained her ankle once before, and it hadn't even been pleasant when she had painkiller. If she somehow managed to survive a quest in Middle-earth despite her handicap long enough for it to heal, she wouldn't be able to put any weight on her foot for days afterwards, which was a very disturbing feeling.

Not to mention that unless she wanted to be left to what was most likely death on the Rohirric plains, one of the Hunters would HAVE to carry her.

And she knew very well who it would be.

"Do not worry, my beloved, I shall carry you to Theoden's hall." Legolas said, picking Tina up and cradling her in his arms. Tina reflected that it would be nice not to have to walk, but it was a lousy deal trading it for a sore ankle. Plus, while Suvian Legolas was at least a gentleman, she didn't fancy the fact that his hands were uncomfortably close to her rear. However it was utterly useless to protest, so Tina contented herself by mutinously glaring at the Elf and refusing to put her arms around is neck (as a proper 'Sue no doubt would have).
And another thing, why was Legolas talking about going to Theoden's hall NOW? They hadn't even met the Rohirrim yet. Was this part of the Author's plan? If so, it was an utterly stupid one. Tina was dead weight now, just something holding the Hunters back from finding Merry and Pippin. In real Middle-earth, such a delay would have-

Without warning the ground beneath the Hunters rolled like the sea, and Tina tumbled out of Legolas' arms. Her injured foot smacked against the ground, and she screamed with agony as a deep rumbling that seemed to emanate from the earth itself rang in her ears-

Suddenly it stopped. Tina sobbed and cursed brokenly, her ankle throbbing so severely after the shock from the canon ripple that she couldn't observe much else.
Then . . .

"What . . .Gimli? Why are we not in the Undying Lands?" Someone sputtered.

Tina looked up, eyes wide with surprise. Legolas was leering at her with an expression of mingled suspicion and shock. Behind him stood Aragorn, looking around and blinking confusedly. Legolas abruptly glanced from Tina back to Aragorn, his mouth hanging open.

"Aragorn . . ." he said, his voice breaking. "You . . . you're alive!"

"It would seem that way . . ." said Aragorn, still staring about in a shell-shocked manner.

"What . . . how . . . where . . ." Gimli was saying, when it dawned on Tina. The Author must not have sprained her ankle . . . that was merely clumsiness on her part (which made her feel rather stupid to admit). Consequentially Canon had snapped back into place as the Author's plans were interrupted. Then these proud (albeit confused) beings were the REAL Three Hunters!

"They're UNSUED!" Tina shrieked joyfully. "YES!"

The Hunters jumped skittishly and stared at Tina. But this time it was not in the dull, cloudy-eyed way in which they usually looked at her; instead confusion and suspicion battled in their expressions, which suddenly gave way to recognition, which changed smoothly into utter and abject horror.

"ANOTHER ONE!" the Hunters screamed, instantly snatching their various pointy objects and preparing to use them upon the hapless girl.

"WAIT! NO! YOU'VE GOT IT WRONG!" Tina screamed as Legolas bent his bow and Aragorn and Gimli began to swing their sword and axe . . .

---

A/N: *blink blink* Wow! I'm evil! ^_^
Okay, so actually I'm just trying to milk the Two Towers material for all it's worth. Plus I've never really had an opportunity for such a cliffhanger before. Therefore, you shall all just have to suffer until I feel obliged to put up the next chapter. NEHAHAHAHA! *skips merrily off to hide in the Random Bomb Shelter© from psychicsaphie*