Chapter 16

BLASPHEMY!!

Much more riding followed, and Tina's rump was getting steadily sorer. Sure, Bob was as smooth on her feet as ever, but sitting astride a horses back for long periods of time is rarely comfortable when you've never ridden more than ten minutes before in your life. So when the Hall of Théoden rose over the horizon like, well, a rather large building rising over the horizon, she was relieved . . . and awed.

Edoras was beautiful!

Of course she knew this already, but it was one thing to see it on TV. It was another thing entirely to see it in person, huge and golden in the sunlight, with the wind blowing the lush grass back and forth in a smooth, swaying dance that rolled like green waves across the fields. The air carried the smell of the sweet, fresh stuff, as well as the faint scent of horses.

The horse smell wasn't as pleasant as the grass. In fact, it wasn't very pleasant at all.

Nevertheless, Edoras gleamed like a jewel in the distance, and Tina was glad to see it, even if she wasn't very glad to be going to it.

'Raised by Théoden.' She was thinking, recalling Éomer's words as Bob galloped soundlessly after Shadowfax and Gandalf. 'Huh.' She sighed, mentally steeling herself for the tearful reunion she'd probably have to face, when a sudden thought abruptly tackled her and smacked her repeatedly on the side of the head with some unidentified blunt object, expressing, at the top if its lungs, its outrage at having been overlooked so long. In a metaphorical sense, of course.

'Holy crap! If I'm Galadriel's daughter and Théoden is my father, then they . . . Oh yuck!' Tina thought, her disgust manifesting on her face where it produced a most impressive grimace involving a tic in her right eye and her mouth hanging agape with her tongue flopping about over her lips. This succeeded in nothing more than drying out her tongue and allowing a fly to lodge itself in her windpipe. The choking and cursing that resulted rather attracted a lot of attention from the rest of the riders as the group slowed down and walked their steeds towards the city gates.

The Flag of Rohan, in a display of blatant symbolism, ripped off its pole and was blown through the air - right into Tina's face. She struggled for a moment, nearly falling off her unicorn as she batted the fabric into her lap so that she could look at it properly. It was a pretty piece of craftsmanship, really. Tina admired the flag as Bob ambled into the city. The white horse, caught mid-run, was sharp and stark on its green background. Tina fingered the embroidery carefully.

Her mother had embroidered, she remembered. Beneath the tough, no-nonsense exterior that made her such a good lawyer, Melissa Carson was a very artistic woman. She was particularly fond of needlework. She had tried to teach her daughter embroidery once, but all that lay beneath Tina's own tough, no-nonsense exterior was a sensitive, nonsense-loving girl with no artistic talent to speak of. The embroidery lessons had been scrapped.

They'd been at odds with each other lately, Melissa and Tina. It wasn't that Tina disliked her mother. They were on good terms, as teenage girls and their mothers went. Melissa wasn't an embarrassing mother and didn't do most of the things Tina usually heard her peers complaining about when discussing parental faults. It was just that lately, almost everything Melissa said to her daughter seemed to irritate her somehow. Even the things that Tina knew really shouldn't bother her at all grated terribly on her nerves. All the little corrections, the prompting to do something just a bit differently, the suggestions of easier ways to do whatever Tina was doing at the moment annoyed her so much . . .

She would have given anything to be back in her home, being nagged by her mother at that very moment.

Reluctantly, Tina stopped fingering the flag and brought herself back to Rohan with a sigh. She glanced up at the Rohirrim peasants lurking around the smaller buildings and hunched herself over slightly as she discovered just what it was like to be on the receiving end of a glare from hardened, suspicious, pissed-off menial workers. She glanced up away from the crowd at Edoras -

And stared at Éowyn, who was glaring fiercely at her from a vantage point in the Golden Hall.

Tina blinked, and Éowyn was gone again.

Slightly unsettled, she directed her attention to the back of Bob's head as she dismounted and followed Gandalf up the steps. Perhaps it was her imagination, but she had been pretty sure that Éowyn had not only been looking at her, but glaring hatefully at her as well. But wasn't Éowyn under the Author's control too? As a strong female character, she was particularly attractive for being Sued. Or so Tina had thought.

A voice intruded on Tina's thoughts.

"Your sword, please, ma'am." A man who might have been Halbarad said, holding his hand out to Tina.

"What? Oh . . ." she said, handing over the sword without fuss. Halbarad looked surprised for a moment, but took the weapon and laid it with the others. Tina ignored the Author prompting her to make a big stink about having her sword taken, but it was hard to hear her own thoughts with the words running through her head. She watched Gandalf put up a fuss about giving up his staff, and followed him to the Golden Hall.

Suddenly, the Author's voice rang out in her head so loudly that Tina clamped her hands over her ears and received odd looks from the canon characters.

-A/N: LOLOLOLOL!!!!- it said. The many Ls and Os repeating were very off-putting. -OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO ALINAGAWATHAWEN NEXT?!?!?!?! WIL SHE EVER TELL LEGOLAS SHE LOVES HIM?!?!? YOUL JUST HAVE TO READ TO FIND OUT!!!! R&R, PLEEZE!-

"Ow. Author's Notes." Tina muttered, taking her hands away from her ears, only to slam them back again as yet another Author's Note began to play in her head.

-A/N: I'M BAAAAACK!-

'I'm overjoyed, bitch.' Tina thought.

-U DIDN'T THINK I'D LEAVE U HANGING, DID U? TO ÉOWYN FANS, U WILL NOT LIKE THIS CHAPTER. I HATE ÉOWYN AND THINK SHE SUCKS, SO SHE IS NOT IN MY STORY-

"WHAT?!" Tina screamed, and the canons gave a frightened little jump.

-SO NO ÉOWYN, HAHA! U GET ALINAGAWATHAWEN INSTEAD, AREN'T U LUCKY!!!!! R&R PLEEZE!!!!!-

The noise died down again.

Now Tina was REALLY enraged. Mary Sues were one thing, but cutting out a canon character entirely?! That was another. And thinking Éowyn sucked! Why, that stupid Author would have never stood a chance against Éowyn! Tina wasn't a particularly rabid Éowyn fan, but she had a healthy respect for the Shieldmaiden and was horrified at the blatant disrespect for Rohan's White Lady. Éowyn was a strong, admirable woman. If it was a crime to feel attraction to Aragorn, then it was one that fangirls everywhere were guilty of themselves (Tina included), and as far as she knew, Aragorn had never even mentioned Arwen in Éowyn's prescense. How, then, was she to know he was taken? Tina spluttered angrily for a moment, at a complete loss for words in the face of this blasphemy, before remembering that she had actually seen Éowyn earlier.

Confusion effectively calmed her down. Tina was quite sure that it was Éowyn she'd seen, but could she have been mistaken? Could the lady in white have been nothing more than a simple handmaiden of some sort whom had happened to walk outside at that moment?

Anything was possible, she supposed, as someone pushed her through the doors and she followed Gandalf into the Golden Hall.

--

A/N: *Grumble grumble* Stupid Éowyn-bashing Sue-creating Badfic-writing soandsos, I oughta . . .

*ahem*

Thought I'd get this out while the getting was good. I'm also trying to flesh out Tina's character a little bit more. Keep her from being flat and dull and Sueish.

Yeah.

*apologizes profusely to all Éowyn fans, including herself*