Hey, hey!!!! So I was reading all of my reviews, and I was so stuck on what to do next.  I absolutely hate writers block. So like I was saying was reading my review when it came to me!!  but I had to change chapter 5 first sooo, I altered chapter 5 and I that led to this fabulous chapter 6! If I do say so myself. NOW, I don't want any review where someone is jumping to a conclusion!!! Coughelenwencough

Disclaimer: I own LOTR the same way I own Harry Potter –which isn't

REVIEW! Don't forget!

~luv

Nienna

Chapter 6

The letter confirmed my greatest fear. I had been terrified of this happening.  I read the letter again-it only caused more tears of disbelief. I was so angry that I cast the letter into the fire and watched it burn. As if this might make what the letter stated untrue. The letter said this:

Dear Alatariel,

 My name is Aryante. Legolas and I were bet roved. Of course, he never wanted to marry me, he always spoke about you. I always envied you. You had his love, and I the blessing of his father. It grieves me to tell you that Legolas Greenleaf was killed while accompanying the Fellowhip of the Ring to Mordor. I am truly sorry; this is such a great loss. I hope you know that others also feel this great pain.

Sincerely,

Aryante

            I had never met this Aryante, but I vaguely remember Legolas mentioning the name, something about a child-hood friend. I of course had been a friend of Legolas nearly as long as I can remember.  He was one of the few people I remember from Mirkwood. He was a few years older than I.

*flashback*

I was crying. I was lost, alone, and I missed my parents.  I curled into a ball at the foot of a tree.  It was so cold out.  I shut my eyes hoping that I was going to open them and find that I was home, safe in my bed.  I heard a twig crack, and shut my eyes even harder. I began to tremble in fear-something was coming to eat me.  My breathing was ragged. Suddenly warm soft arms encircled me. I screamed, because I was terrified, but one of the hands came to my mouth.  

"Shhh, stop screaming, I won't hurt you." 

"I want to go home."

"What's your name?"

"Alatariel," I replied weakly, "Who are you?"

"I am Legolas. Everyone has been looking for you."  Legolas lifted me up. He was strong for such a young elf, or was I just incredibly light? I began to cry again.  Legolas said "Shhh," And carried me back to my parents.

*End of Flashback*

            That's how I first met Legolas.  When I moved away to Rivendell he used to write to me, because I was so young when we left I had trouble reading his letters. Elrond used to sit and read them to me, after my parents disappeared.  The memory only made me despair more. He's gone from me, forever.  Memories came flooding back to me.  Legolas coming to visit me-Legolas teaching me to swim-Legolas coming so close, we almost kissed, before he turned away.  I missed that. I missed when we were young and hadn't a care in the world. He was so polite. When we were young it was so clear to me that he wanted to kiss me. I mean he came so close every time, and then he would back up, and simply run in the opposite direction.  I made the first move.  I laughed out loud at the memory, and I tried not to think too much that I would never wake up next to him again. 

            There was a knock at the door.  Arwen came in, her head cocked to the side in a questioning way.  No one knew. I shook my head.

"What happened?" she asked. Tears slipped out of the corners of my eys.

"He's dead." My voice was empty and hollow.

"Legolas?"

"Yes. I got a letter from this she-elf.  Apparently she was Legolas' bet roved.  He never told me that he was bet roved. I never knew…" I suddenly felt cheated.  I thought he loved me.  Then I had this terrible realization.  I started it.  I've always known that if I hadn't kissed him, we would have fallen for each other. I brought this upon myself.

"Arwen, I really need to be alone right now." She stood and left without another word. 

            I skipped dinner that night, sitting alone in my room-thinking. I grieved for Legolas. I loved him, and I knew I could never love anyone the same way.  I couldn't stem the flow of tears. Everything reminded me of him- my room, my bed, my very soul.  Finally I passed out of consciousness.  I had a strange vision that night-a dream perhaps.

            I was at the brook where I had first kissed Legolas.   I was alone, or so I thought.  I heard a soft breathing behind me. I spun around, right into his arms. I giggled.  This is what I wanted. I wanted to be in his arms and feel his skin against mine. Why couldn't this be reality? Even in my happy bliss I knew that this couldn't be real.  I was in his arms when Haldir appeared out of the shadows.  The sentry changed suddenly. Legolas disappeared leaving me cold and scared. Haldir put his arms around me. It felt different-not being in Legolas' arms.

"He's gone, but he wouldn't want you to waist your life away.  He would want you to be happy."  I nodded my throat tightening. I was staring at the spot where Legolas-my love-disappeared. I wasn't processing what was happening. Haldir sat by, still holding me close, whispering "It will be all right, don't worry."  Tears were falling down my cheeks, Haldir was wiping them away. I wanted to push him off me.  His friend just died, and all he could do was comfort me. Oh, wait-that's the nice thing to do.  I turned to look at him, my face stained with tears, and he planted a soft kiss on my lips.

            I woke up with the morning light streaming through the window; someone had been in and must have opened them.  It took all of my strength to prevent the stream of vomit from spilling from my mouth. I dreamt of kissing Haldir. No, he kissed me.  Despite my feelings of disgust I knew what the dream meant.  I opened the balcony doors to let in some air.  The dream was telling me to live on-without him, to except Haldir's proposal. I knew that Haldir would make me happy, but I also knew that I could never love him.  I walked back inside my room, slipping into a dark black gown.  I put my hair up elegantly and found upon my dresser a silver diadem, with blue jewels encrusted into it. . I also slid this on.

            Out in the hall I found no one. I made my way slowly to the dinning hall, passing through the hallways as if I were a ghost. I felt like it.  Everything felt surreal. I was still in slight disbelief that he could possibly be dead. I would have felt him die, I would have known. However, apparently I did not.  I entered the dinning hall. The little chatter that had been taking place quickly died away.  They knew now, and I was glad of it.  I took my place next to Arwen, across from Haldir. I couldn't meet his eyes when we spoke.  I ate very little finding that I was not as hungry as I should have been.

            The day passed in a slow, unreal way.  Moving from one moment to the next seemed an eternity.  I spent most of my time in the gardens, preferring to be alone, then surrounded by others.  It was near to dusk when Haldir came to find me, sitting near a small waterfall.

"May I sit here?" he asked indicating the space next to me, on the soft grass.

"Of course; I've been meaning to speak with you."  I said.

"Yes."

"Haldir, I'm truly sorry for the harsh words that I spoke the other night. I was out of place. I barely know you. I shouldn't have judged you so quickly."  While I said this I met his eyes for the first time today, conveying how sorry I was.

"Thank you. I know that the news of a possible engagement came as quite a shock," he continued, "I also understand that the tragedy of Legolas' death has been quite a blow to us all."  Tears sprang to me eyes and fell. Haldir gently wiped them away. 

"I know how you feel. I just want you to know, that I don't expect you to except the proposal. In fact I don't want you to." I looked at him through bleary eyes.

"I want you, to come, if and when you're ready to come back to Lothlorien with me. I don't want to pressure you. I just think it might be nice to meet some of the elves from Lothlorien. I just-" I silenced him with I finger.

"That sounds pleasant, but not now, nor tomorrow. I just don't think I'll be ready. I do, however, wish for you and me to become friends." I saw his eyes light up at the prospect of us becoming friends. My heart too lifted slightly.  

            That night I cried silently letting the tears trickle down.  I love Legolas, but what Haldir said held truth within it. Legolas would want me to be happy.  I shut my eyes. I thought of Legolas and the past.  The next morning I woke feeling as if a heavy burden had been laid upon my heart.  I would never be truly happy, but I knew that I could survive, because Legolas would want it that way.

Ok see? I can be nice! No cliffy today!  If y'all review than I won't be forced to take drastic actions with another cliffy!

~LuV

Nienna