Right, here's the Ring's internal monologue for fotr.
Hope you like. Is longer then previous chapter (but still pretty short, still - quality not quantity).
Thanks to all who reviewed previous chapter. Please review this one too.
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I had been stuck in this bleeding hobbit's pocket for years. Here I am, the One Ring, and I've spent decades in the smelly pocket of some hobbit.
He then had a birthday, using me to aid in his disappearing act before going off to some place, leaving me with some descendant of his. This descendant then kept me in an envelope for a while, before being persuaded by some wizard in serious need of a new wardrobe, that I needed to be destroyed. Was most annoyed.
So off we went. Me and three other random hobbits. The wizard had already gone off to do something wizardly, i.e., nothing. One good thing about being a ring is that while other beings must walk, I am carried. So I was carried past a large amount of countryside. Most of it was rather green. Personally, I've always preferred the black type, but hobbits never have had any taste.
After what felt like eternity, the hobbits picked up a human male and they walked some more. Various servants of the Great Forger attacked them, but failed. Servants aren't nearly as useful as they used to be. Gee, I feel awfully old saying that.... Anyway, there was a bit of a fuss when my Bearer nearly died, but some elven bint (who turned out to be romantically involved with the human male) on a horse came and saved him. The whole bunch then stayed in a place that would have been quite nice, were it not over-populated by elves.
My Bearer recovered and some really, really boring council was held about me (mainly how to destroy me, I mean, must they discuss it INFRONT of me?).Yet I didn't get a say. Harumpf. Was must annoyed (again). They decided (again) to destroy me by throwing me into Mount Doom. Do they not appreciate my feelings or right to exist? During this council, some dwarf had the cheek to try and destroy me with his axe. As if such a weapon could harm my divinely ringonage. It stung a bit, though.
My Bearer plus accompanying three hobbits, two well-stubbled men, one extremely hairy dwarf (the one who'd previously tried to cause me grievous ringonage harm by axe), one nancing blond elf and the wizard with no fashion-sense left on their quest to destroy me (taking me with them, obviously). They walked a lot. Then they went to a very cold place. I was very cold, wet and miserable. They then decided to go through these dark tunnels instead. But then creepy things attacked them and they misplaced the wizard. They seemed to be rather upset by this and some of them (mainly the hobbits) leaked water from their eyes. I'm not quite sure why, but I doubt I'll ever truly understand the reasoning of brief mortals.
Next stop was in a wood which was also over-populated by elves. There was this blond female one who said a lot of boring stuff. Then we left, by BOAT!!!
Then they stopped on some land and argued a bit. One of the bestubbled men tried to kill my Bearer, who ran away, picking up one of the other hobbits on the way (I can never tell them apart...).
The man who'd tried to kill my Bearer then died and the remaining two hobbits were then captured by big creepy things.
Meanwhile, I sailed off with my Bearer and accompanying hobbit over the water. I sung a nice song called 'May It Be' to myself.
¦¦¦_¦¦¦
Now review.
Please.
:)
Hope you like. Is longer then previous chapter (but still pretty short, still - quality not quantity).
Thanks to all who reviewed previous chapter. Please review this one too.
¦¦¦_¦¦¦
I had been stuck in this bleeding hobbit's pocket for years. Here I am, the One Ring, and I've spent decades in the smelly pocket of some hobbit.
He then had a birthday, using me to aid in his disappearing act before going off to some place, leaving me with some descendant of his. This descendant then kept me in an envelope for a while, before being persuaded by some wizard in serious need of a new wardrobe, that I needed to be destroyed. Was most annoyed.
So off we went. Me and three other random hobbits. The wizard had already gone off to do something wizardly, i.e., nothing. One good thing about being a ring is that while other beings must walk, I am carried. So I was carried past a large amount of countryside. Most of it was rather green. Personally, I've always preferred the black type, but hobbits never have had any taste.
After what felt like eternity, the hobbits picked up a human male and they walked some more. Various servants of the Great Forger attacked them, but failed. Servants aren't nearly as useful as they used to be. Gee, I feel awfully old saying that.... Anyway, there was a bit of a fuss when my Bearer nearly died, but some elven bint (who turned out to be romantically involved with the human male) on a horse came and saved him. The whole bunch then stayed in a place that would have been quite nice, were it not over-populated by elves.
My Bearer recovered and some really, really boring council was held about me (mainly how to destroy me, I mean, must they discuss it INFRONT of me?).Yet I didn't get a say. Harumpf. Was must annoyed (again). They decided (again) to destroy me by throwing me into Mount Doom. Do they not appreciate my feelings or right to exist? During this council, some dwarf had the cheek to try and destroy me with his axe. As if such a weapon could harm my divinely ringonage. It stung a bit, though.
My Bearer plus accompanying three hobbits, two well-stubbled men, one extremely hairy dwarf (the one who'd previously tried to cause me grievous ringonage harm by axe), one nancing blond elf and the wizard with no fashion-sense left on their quest to destroy me (taking me with them, obviously). They walked a lot. Then they went to a very cold place. I was very cold, wet and miserable. They then decided to go through these dark tunnels instead. But then creepy things attacked them and they misplaced the wizard. They seemed to be rather upset by this and some of them (mainly the hobbits) leaked water from their eyes. I'm not quite sure why, but I doubt I'll ever truly understand the reasoning of brief mortals.
Next stop was in a wood which was also over-populated by elves. There was this blond female one who said a lot of boring stuff. Then we left, by BOAT!!!
Then they stopped on some land and argued a bit. One of the bestubbled men tried to kill my Bearer, who ran away, picking up one of the other hobbits on the way (I can never tell them apart...).
The man who'd tried to kill my Bearer then died and the remaining two hobbits were then captured by big creepy things.
Meanwhile, I sailed off with my Bearer and accompanying hobbit over the water. I sung a nice song called 'May It Be' to myself.
¦¦¦_¦¦¦
Now review.
Please.
:)
