OK, I finally got through chapter 7. what took so long was that I wanted to use Elvish in this chapter and my friend who beta's my work sniffle had been forced off her computer for the next few days. :( So I'm posting this chapter and PLEASE forgive me if the elvish is incorrect I did the best I could.  

Disclaimer:  I own  7 snow globes, over 200 books,  the LOTR: FOTR 4 disk dvd set, but I DON'T own Lord of the Rings (doesn't that just suck?) 

 A/N please forgive any spelling mistakes I may have over looked-specially names

Chapter 7

            Days equaled an eternity. Never had time been so real to me.  Time-it had only seemed a word to me. Never had I realized its affect. Time is supposed to heal. How could anything ever heal me? I might have been outwardly healing, but inside my soul writhed with the prospect of being without him.  I let myself be guided through the halls.  Not but a week had passed when I had to make a decision.  Lord Elrond came to me while I was sitting in the gardens watching the sunset.

"My dear, Haldir leaves tomorrow. He must know if you wish to accompany him to Lothlorien." I refused to look at Elrond. Instead I stared at the sun, as if it might give me an answer.  The answer came to me as I stood and looked upon Imladris by twilight.  I have called it my home and I always shall, but now there were only painful memories.  Perhaps a change of scenery would do me some good. I felt that anything that would distract from the pain would be a welcome change.

"I shall go with Haldir to Lothorien. However, I have no intention of marrying him. Haldir knows this." He nodded, standing as well.

"I shall send someone to assist you in packing."

"Thank you, My Lord." I curtsied, something I hadn't done in his presence in a long time.  I left then, and returned to my room to search for things that I wished to keep with me.  Immediately I went to my wardrobe, pushing aside the clothes, I lifted out a wooden box. It was smooth, dark and engraved with leaves.  Legolas had carved it when we were young, and given it to me.  I brought it to my bed, handling it as if it might disintegrate in my hands.  Inside were the things most precious to me.  Mostly it contained letters that Legolas sent to me, but it also held a ring that my mother had given to me, and a dagger that was my father's.  A maid stepped through the door.

"Hello, Milady.  Come; allow me to help you pack for your journey." The maid bustled around the room packing my clothes, jewelry and other personal things.  I could only sit on the bed, thinking ahead.  How long would I be away? Would I even be returning to Rivendell?  I pushed these thoughts from my mind. Of course I would be returning!

"Milady?" 

"Yes?"

"Do you require any further assistance?"

"No, thank you." She bowed to me, and then left, shutting the door behind her.  Now, all that I wanted was to sleep, but no sooner was I on the verge of sleep when yet another knock came.

"Come in." I said.  Arwen entered.

"My father wants to speak with you.  He told me that you have decided to go with Haldir." She paused, "You should not go, if your heart tells you to stay." I looked away from her.

"Arwen, my mind is telling me that I should be feeling more pain.  My mind tells me that allowing myself to laugh is somehow an insult to his memory.  My heart, tells me otherwise.  My heart is telling me that my future lies in Lothlorien, but somehow, I believe that this trip may turn out differently then I could have ever expected.  My heart foretells happiness, but how can that be? Legolas is gone…" 

"Follow your heart. That's all I can say.  There is a feast tonight, both to honor the memory of Legolas, and to bid farewell to those leaving tomorrow."  I nodded. I understood.

"Thank you Arwen, I believe that you will be what I most miss."  Tears glistened in her eyes.

"I will miss you as well. I must go. I have to get ready as well."  She turned and left my room, shutting the door silently.  I sighed, slipping into a warm bath that had been prepared for me.  I let the warm water calm my nerves. I tried closing my eyes, hoping that this might help the pain in my chest.  My head spun from all of the thoughts whirling around my head.  I gave a frustrated sigh, splashing some of the water from the tub.  I dried off.  My clothes had been laid out for me.  The gown was a silky black, with a low back, and a loose flared sleeves, that ended at my elbows. The skirt was the same flowy material as the sleeves.  Everything that had been laid out for me was black, including black shoes. I looked in the mirror above my fireplace. I looked pale.  My golden-blond hair only increased that image.  My brown eyes looked red, and it took me a moment to realize that I had tear drops streaming down my cheeks.  My door opened. Haldir came in, striding to my side. 

"Don't cry."

"I can't stop. I miss him. I miss…" I stopped myself. Haldir didn't deserve to know what I missed about Legolas.  Part of me still resented him slightly, as if he was the reason for Legolas' death. I knew this to be as untrue a statement as I could ever think, but nonetheless I felt that I had to blame someone.  The truth was I knew that I was to blame. I felt that I had somehow caused this death, and the pain that followed.  I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts of misery, when Haldir gently taped my shoulder. I had been walking. I had, without realizing it, walked with Haldir to the dining hall.  I took a deep breath, calming myself as much as possible. 

*****

Dinner passed, with elves hither and thither speaking in hushed tones.  I couldn't eat. Though my burden may have been lifted it still waved heavily upon my heart. I managed a few bites of food, speaking with Arwen to disguise the fact that I wasn't hungry.  I spent most of dinner like that. Afterwards there was some dancing, in which I grudgingly took part in.  I always felt as if I had two left feet. Elladan laughed as we danced.

"Stop looking down," he scolded teasingly.

"I dislike dancing in front of an audience-I feel as if they are watching me to see if I make a mistake."

"That's not true. I remember when we had that feast and Legolas came."

"Gee which one was that?" I rolled eyes at him. Legolas had only attended almost every feast I have been at.

"Your first one. Do you remember?" I nodded of course, how could I forget? I was so afraid of being in front of everyone, that when I danced with Elladan I was trembling and ended the dance before the song had finished. I wanted to go hide in my room till the next century.

*flashback*

"Let me go Legolas," I whimpered in a low whisper, "I'm going to go sit in my room till the next century!  No really it's not a long time!"

"Come I am not going to let you go until I have a dance."

"Legolas, Please! Noooooo!" I whined. 

"That isn't going to work on Me." he said so I changed tactics in an instant.  I smiled seductively, leaning closer to him. I breathed slowly into his ear.

"tulya a' i' pelenlotaure yassen amin," I whispered.  He shivered convulsively, turning to meet my gaze, we were one of the few still sitting at the table, and no one was paying us much mind. His eyes were blue, full of life-a crystal blue clear and wonderful. I found myself staring into them longer than I should and I was suddenly aware of how close I had come to him- to close for my tastes.  I snapped my head straight in front of me.  He stood, and I thought that he was leaving.

"Dance with me." he commanded, in a slightly teasing voice.

"Legolas I-" the words were cut off. His blue eyes met mine and I knew that I would do whatever he asked of me. I found myself moments later in his arms, completely captivated by his essence.  I knew then that I loved everything about him. I loved him.  And it wasn't the childish love I had held for him a few years past. This was real, and I knew it.

*end of flashback*

For once the memory of his face didn't bring tears to my eyes. Indeed I laughed suddenly.  Elladan peered down at my face. 

"I'm glad to see you have not forgotten how to laugh."  I smiled again, feeling almost happy for the first time in days. 

I lay tirelessly in my room staring at the ceiling.  I let some tears fall. I vowed that every night I would shed at least one tear for my Legolas, but I wasn't in pain. I felt almost happy. Tomorrow a new chapter in my life would start.  I would however, never forget Legolas, nor would I ever love another.  Tomorrow held the future-tomorrow held hope.

****

Yay!!!! Chapie 7 up! Now I'll let u in on something I finished chapter 8!  YES!  Go me! soooo I'll update as soon as I get at least 5 reviews! Por favor!

 tulya a' i' pelenlotaure yassen amin—roughly means(I hope) "Come to the garden with me" 

LUV all of you!!!

~Nienna

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