Andaxia awoke suddenly.  Where was she?  She warily glanced around her surroundings, quickly recognizing the room as one of the guest bedrooms at Number Twelve.  Looking out the window, she noticed it was dark outside and the stars were shining.  She tried to sit up, but her body screamed in protest.  She remembered her assault by the Muggles, but everything before then was gone.

          "Sirius?" she ventured.

          "Calm down, now," a warm, but tired, voice comforted her.  Andaxia hadn't even known Molly was in the room until she appeared from behind her.

          "Molly, where's Sirius?"  Again, she tried to sit up, emitting a gasp of pain as her wounds complained.  Fighting a wave of nausea, she succeeded in her efforts, to the dismay of Molly.

          "Now, you really should be lying down – I don't want those to start bleeding again."

          "Please don't patronize me," she said stubbornly.  "I want to speak with Sirius!"

          Molly sighed.  "Very well."  She stabbed a finger toward her emphatically.  "You remain in bed, young lady."

          As she left, Andaxia looked around again, uneasy.  She shivered in disgust as she recalled what those men had done to her.  She needed Sirius right now to comfort her.  However, something didn't feel right – where was Sirius?  Why wasn't he here, fussing over her?  Why wouldn't Molly look her in the eye?  She listened carefully.  She could hear the murmur of voices coming up from downstairs, the wind whistling through the trees outside, the bubbling of a potion in the cauldron in the corner.  The house was too quiet.  She tried to tell herself that Sirius was probably in the kitchen, waiting for news on her recovery, but something in her heart told her he was not there.

          Finally, she heard footsteps approaching her room.  Closing her eyes, she wished with all her will that it be Sirius.  She heard the door open and someone walk in.  Slowly, she opened her eyes.  Dumbledore stood there, sad eyes betraying his cautious smile.  Her heart fell – Dumbledore's presence in place of Sirius could only mean one thing.

          She steeled herself and asked, straightforward, "Professor, what brings you here?  Where is Sirius?  Do not lie to me – I must have the truth."

          He looked her in the eye and nodded.  "Yes, the truth.  You have earned the right to that, at least."  He walked forward and sat next to her on the bed.  He seemed much older than he had the last time they had talked.

          "Sirius is gone, isn't he?"  she ventured, lips quivering, fighting to keep her emotions in check.

          A tear glistened in Dumbledore's eye.  "Yes, he fell in the Department of Mysteries last night."  At the mention of the Department of Mysteries, a chord struck in her mind, but then it was gone as swiftly as it was born.  Dumbledore reached out a hand and placed it on her knee.  "He is gone – I am terribly sorry.  He felt he had to leave – Harry's life was threatened." 

          She started to weep.  "Please, go away.  I need to be alone."

          "Andaxia, we are here for you . . . "

          She interrupted him.  "Just go!"  she said angrily.

          He nodded and rose, giving her knee a tender squeeze.  As soon as the door closed behind him, she lost all control and broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

***************************************************************************************

          A week passed.  Physically recovered from her attack, she was sitting on the steps of Number Twelve.  It was another beautiful night, a repeat of the evening a few months ago when she had talked to Remus about her choice.  That seemed like a lifetime ago.  She stared off into the distance, oblivious to everything, depressed.  A tear occasionally slid down her cheek, following in the tracks of the ones that had preceded it.  She was completely quiet, thinking hard.

          She had been angry with everyone after she had received the news from Dumbledore, feeling they should have done more to prevent Sirius from going to the Ministry.  She had barricaded herself in her room, only venturing out for food after everyone else had already eaten.  On the fourth day after she had awoken, Dumbledore and Remus, over her objections, had come to talk to her.  From them, she learned of the specifics of why Sirius had left the safety of Number Twelve.  A wave of pride had gone through her, despite her best intentions of remaining angry.  Sirius had done what he thought he must – it had been hard enough for him not to come running to Andaxia's rescue – he definitely would not stay behind a second time when someone he loved was in danger.

          She also learned her injuries should not have kept her unconscious for as long as they did, considering the magical cures for them.  Dumbledore had suspected Kreacher of betraying Sirius, and had "interrogated" him, learning the truth.  He had also discovered that Kreacher had recovered that accursed music box, and was using it against her.  He had hidden it with elf magic, and kept it playing so she would remain asleep and weak.  Mrs. Black had detested Andaxia, calling her the "nasty Muggle whore" and other terms of endearment, therefore Kreacher hated her as well.  He knew she was probably the only person who could have kept Sirius at home, and he would not have her destroying the plot.

          Remembering this, she grew angry again and slammed her fist on the stone, wincing as pain shot through her knuckles.  "Damn it," she growled.  Massaging her bruised hand, she heard footsteps behind her.

          "A word of advice," a gentle voice said.

          "What, Remus?" she snarled, not bothering to turn around.  She wanted to remain alone.

          "You might hurt yourself if you punch a piece of solid stone with your bare hand," he said lightheartedly.  She grinned in spite of herself, but the smile dissolved as she saddened again.  "It's about time I saw your smile – I had forgotten what it looked like."  Without waiting for an invitation, he sat down beside her.  "How are you doing really, Andaxia?"

          "I miss him," she said.  "And I wish I had been there to stop him."

          "Now you know that wasn't your fault – Kreacher kept you asleep."

          "Yes, but if I hadn't gotten myself tangled with those Muggle brutes, none of this would have happened.  Why do I have to be so stubborn, that I can't even follow my own good advice?  If I had only held to the compromise – a compromise I created – he would still be alive.  But for some goddamn reason I broke that promise."  She punched her leg in frustration, another tear falling down her cheek.

          "Andaxia, I have learned you never do anything unless it is for a very good reason.  You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.  Sirius, if you remember, was just as stubborn and independent as you – he broke his promise to you to remain in the house – but he had his reasons, just as you did."  He reached out his hand and gently turned her face to his.  "You need to let the guilt go."

          "I can't!" she screamed.  "I need him here!  I don't care if I'm being selfish!  I need him to call me a stupid little girl for forgetting how dangerous Muggles can be!  I need him to make me feel clean again after those awful men touched me!  I need him to tell me that everything will be okay!  I need him . . . " she quieted, choking back tears.  "I feel so alone, and it's my fault I don't have him with me now.  I am so alone."  She finally let all the anger, sorrow, and despair out in a flood of tears.  Remus put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she wept.

          As her tears ran out, Remus squeezed her shoulder.  "Andaxia, you are not alone in this.  Your friends are with you."  He moved his hand to her chin and again turned her face to his.  "You are not alone," he repeated.  She looked deep into his eyes and finally understood.  She grabbed his hand.

          "I have been so stupid.  He was your friend too; a friend you have had much longer than I.  Instead of supporting each other, I have made you take care of me like a spoiled child.  I am so sorry, Remus."

          "You needed to grieve," he said simply.  "You have suffered two major shocks to your mind and body.  No one should ever have to experience an attack as vicious as the one you endured."

          She winced as that knowledge came back to her, but she shoved it deep inside.  "Thank you, Remus."  She gave him a pat on the back.  "You are such a good friend.  Thank you for always being there for me when I need to talk."

          They sat quietly on the stoop for awhile, listening to the crickets.  Andaxia broke the silence:  "Who was it?"

          "Hmm?" Remus murmured, caught off-guard.

          "Who was responsible for Sirius falling behind the veil?  I need to know."

          "What does it matter?" he said uncomfortably. 

          She was resolute.  "Tell me, Remus.  As a friend, share with me what others won't.  Who was it?"  Remus averted his eyes.  "Tell me!" she said adamantly.

          It came out as a mere whisper.  "Bellatrix – it was Bellatrix Lestrange."

          "Bellatrix . . . " she pondered.  She had seen her before, but where?  Then suddenly, like she had been hit by a powerful curse, a shock tore through her body, and she remembered everything – her talk with the wild horses, the confrontation with Voldemort, the plot, and her escape afterwards.  "Oh no," she sputtered, sitting upright, shock and horror showing on her face, eyes blank.  "Oh my God."

          "Andaxia?" Remus asked warily.

          "I knew.  I goddamn knew," she whispered.

          "Andaxia, what's wrong?  Snap out of it," he said, becoming worried.

          "I heard them.  I knew what was going to happen."  She began to shiver uncontrollably.

          "Andaxia!"  Remus forcefully grabbed her by the shoulders.  "Tell me – you're frightening me!"

          Her eyes widened, making her look like a terrified kitten.  "That's why I broke my promise – I needed the extra distance to think.  I heard them – I heard the plot – I knew the plot."

          "Them?" Remus asked.

          Her face remained blank as she rambled.  "Bellatrix was there – I saw her.  Lucius Malfoy too, and . . . and . . . and Peter Pettigrew."  Remus tensed at Peter's name.  "And Voldemort too – he used Legilimency on me, but I fended him off – he thought I was a mere horse.  They were plotting – I knew they were going after Sirius to get to Harry.  There was something in the Department of Mysteries – an orb of some kind – and they needed Harry to touch it, and for that they needed Sirius to trick Harry into going.  I had this information, and I blew it – I could have stopped this from ever happening . . ." her voice died.  "But I failed him, I failed everyone."  Her face slowly changed to one of anger.  "It will not happen again!" she said, furious.  Without warning, she rose and ran back into the house, slamming the door behind her.

          Remus remained sitting, trying to digest what he had just learned.

          The following day, Andaxia joined Remus, Moody, and Tonks for breakfast, the first time she hadn't eaten alone since she had awakened.  They were all relieved to see her; she was in a good mood and seemed to have finally coped with Sirius' death.

          Their discussion that morning was lively, and it almost felt like things were back to normal.  Unknown to the others though, she was putting on an act; she had reflected all night and had come to the realization she had to leave.  The least she could do before going that evening was to spend some quality time with her friends.

          After eating, she played a quick game of Wizard Chess with Moody before he headed out (she was an abysmal chess player, but still enjoyed playing).  Tonks updated her on the new information the Order had collected, and Andaxia chimed in with what she had remembered the previous evening, presenting it objectively and making sure she revealed no emotion.  After their discussion, Arthur stopped in for a few moments.  Andaxia gave him her portable CD player, which he had been fascinated with for months.  He thanked her profusely and departed with a smile on his face.

          The rest of the day was filled with conversations with Remus.  Just before dinner, she retreated to her room, under the presumption of taking a nap.  Once upstairs, she closed and sealed the door, then prepared to work the Über-Charm she had created last night.  This spell was designed for the snake necklace that Snape had given her, and which she wore every day.  The necklace naturally disappeared when she was in animal form, but reappeared in human form.  This charm would continue to keep the necklace hidden in her human form if she was captured, but if she was rescued and unable to communicate, it would reappear once she was in safe hands so it could be used for identification.  Another part of the spell allowed the necklace to be handled by others, but if someone ever tried to remove it, her body would violently react and the necklace would disappear for a short period of time.  This way it could not be removed from her body until she was aware enough to perform the counter-charm.  As she finished the spell, the necklace glowed with a faint bluish-green light, and then vanished.  Smiling ruefully, she headed downstairs to dinner.

          Lying awake in bed, Andaxia listened for the chime of the downstairs clock.  Finally, it announced the arrival of midnight; she quietly stood up and changed into her regular clothes.  She made sure her room was organized, and her letter was clearly visible on the desk.  Glancing in the mirror, she rubbed her neck where the snake necklace still lay, although invisible to sight and touch.  Looking around one more time, she blinked back tears.  This had been her home for several months, and it would be hard to leave, but she must.  It was too draining to stay, and she had work to do.

          When she had made her decision of choosing Sirius over Snape, it had been the hardest decision in her life.  She had agonized over it, and she had never looked back.  Now Fate had chosen to intervene, taking away her choice, and she could not cope with what that meant.  Plus, Sirius' death had to be avenged, in addition to her family's - Voldemort and his nefarious Death Eaters would pay for their crimes; she would not fail her friends again.

          Putting a Quieting Charm on the stairs to prevent them from squeaking, she left her room.  Stepping lightly, she descended to the lower level, stopping occasionally to listen for any sound of movement besides her own.  Reaching the front door, she gazed at the interior for a final time and sighed wistfully.  "I am not running away," she told herself.  "I will return here."  Shivering suddenly, she set her jaw and opened the door, a blast of warm wind sneaking through the crack.  Blowing a good-bye kiss towards the stairs, she slipped outside, gently closing the door behind her.  The street was deserted, not even the sound of a single cricket disturbed the night air.  Breathing deeply, she headed to Naro Alley and the next step of her plan.  Apparating in the abandoned barn, she set her Awareness Über-Charm and lay down in one of the stalls to sleep through the night.