A/N I do not own anything out of this story.  At all.  *sighs*  I don't understand why we have to continue going over this again and again and again and again… next time I'm just going to write 'disclaimer,' and you'll understand what it means.  Or else…

            Anywho, I would like to thank all my reviewers...: D thanks!  A big shout to nobodyinparticular… my first flame!  Yay!  Well, not necessarily 'yay,' because it was a flame, but there's always something about the first flame that just makes you give a big sigh of relief… I'm like, holding my breath, because when I finally get a flame, it's not as bad as I thought.  Yeah, to be honest with you, I really want to say thanks for that flame, because I know that it's true… I got that feeling too as I was writing it and I'll try to make this chapter better.  See, I had to stick to the script because otherwise it wouldn't have been that scene in the movie, which makes no logic sense, but I figure that the more talking, the less creative I can be.  I'll try and work on that. 

And thanks for saying I have talent… : D

            Ok, I've decided to do, this time, the scene at the end where Jack is going to be hung… so enjoy.

   Oh, and for those of you who were going to comment on the word 'prick,' I looked it up on the fanfiction dictionary, and the first definition is "insulting terms of address for people who are stupid or irritating or ridiculous" 
Hehe, kinda fits… 

***~***

            So, here I am.  Waiting to die.  Yep.  I'm so excited. 

            There's a lot of people here.  That's actually quite sick to think about, saying to all your friends "I know, lets go watch the pirate die, that'll be fun, what a nice way to spend the afternoon!"   

            Hmmm… actually sounds like something I would say…

            But that's just me.  I mean, you have to figure I'm pretty special… look at how everyone is just… staring… at me…

            Is it just me or is it really hot today? 

            There are a lot of people here. 

            Now, how am I going to escape? 

            Maybe I won't escape…

            That's a scary thought.  

            But of course, I can't die… all these people are here because they want to see some amazing escape, not to see me be hung…

            Oh, how hard it is, to be entertainment… the pressure… *sigh* I might as well be enjoyable.  Whatever happened to being able to enjoy one last meal before you die?  I would just choose rum…

            But then again, I'm not going to die, so it doesn't really matter…

            Hey, there's Elizabeth!  She seems… worried… I would be worried too, if I had to marry that prick standing near her… yeah, my best wishes to the two of you, live happily ever after… don't let me ruin your conscience, Mr. Prick…

            I wonder where dear William is?  He'd better get here soon, or I might decide to die after all, just to spite him. 

            Are there children in this audience?  That's a little wrong… they should at least be made to cover their eyes… I wouldn't want them to soak up any ideas from the miraculous escape I'm going to make…

            Speaking of which, what kind of miraculous mistake… I mean, escape should I make?  I wonder where the Pearl is now… now matter, they'll be back… everyone loves Captain Jack Sparrow! 

            Maybe I could just sort of… like, run over there and jump off the battlement and then…

            Yeah, I could do it.  If I felt like it.  But I don't… feel like killing all of those guards single-handedly… I could do it though. If I felt like it. 

            I can do anything!  Actually, I'm pretty sure that I can… it may sound strange, but I can screw up royally and somehow everything always works out just the way I want it to.  

            Yeah.  That's what's going to happen. 

            Any minute now, all these people will just drop dead of sickness or something and I'll get really lucky and be able to just walk away unharmed. 

            It could happen. 

            Oh, look, it's starting.  That stupid looking officer over there is about to start reading all my crimes… I sure hope they forget to mention that time that…

            "Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have…"

            Oh, dang it, figure that people like that will get everything wrong.  You know what?  I think they're doing that just to make me mad.  That's not very nice, mates…

            "Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow."  I reminded them oh so politely, but somehow, I think nobody cared.  Their loss.  They'll all be worshipping my feet someday, after my miraculous escape… which I haven't decided on yet. 

            "…for your willful commission of crimes against the crown."  It's not that I have a problem with the crown, it's that I have a problem with you.  Why is it that I can steal a whole bunch of stuff and make fun of a whole bunch of people, and apparently I've been stealing from the crown and making fun of the crown… I've never even met the freaking crown!

            "…impersonating an officer of the Spanish royal navy…" Well, it worked, didn't it?  Pretty well, too, they had no idea until the very last moment…

            "… impersonating a cleric of the church of England…"  Hehe, so they remembered that one, did they?  People take all that church stuff so seriously…one of my finest moments… well, I can't resist pointing that out, can I?  Bloody a lot of fun, which was.  I accidentally interrupted what the guy was saying… but it's not my problem if this hanging takes longer than it's supposed to… sorry to postpone teatime for you nice respectable people…

            "…sailing under false colors, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation and general lawlessness."  Well, obviously all of that stuff… but he's going too fast!  Isn't this supposed to be the time when my whole life flashes before my eyes, and I revel in all the bloody brilliant stuff that I did?  How am I supposed to remember anything if you're just spitting it all out, like it was a crime or something!  Oh, and way to be creative with the wording, those are all the same things only with long words.  Why don't you just call it faking stuff, stealing stuff, messing with stuff, stealing people, stealing more stuff, looking stupid… I mean, you don't have to sound like a prick all the time…

          "And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul." 

            Why thank you.  I'll tell him you said that.  I've heard he is a merciful person. 

            Oh, I see Will now… walking through the crowd… my, my, you would think he could be just slightly inconspicuous… what is he wearing?  It's rather nice…

            Now they're putting on the noose. 

            I've always wondered about that… when rope is sitting on the ground, in a coil, it's called rope… when it's used on my ship, it's called a line, but when it's about to cause a death, it's called a noose. 

            Sort of like when a man is wearing a big red coat, you can call him commodore, but when he wears a big red P you call him pirate. 

            Psst… the one in the big red coat is the one that causes the death, not me. 

            I see… a parrot.  What wonderful timing.  Oh, how lucky can I get?  I've always hated birds, personally, because they are simply a nuisance… leaving disgusting presents on your hat, but this parrot, cottons parrot… he's more than welcome to take a dump on my hat as long as it means my Pearl is around here somewhere…

            What is Elizabeth doing? Fainting like that…

            Oh… that.  Well… smart… smart female… no matter how evil she may be…

            Drums… any second now… yeah, Will, now would be a good time for you to help me out here…

            Whoa…can't breathe… *gasp* 

            Ah… good old Will… thanks mate, knew that little trick would come in handy… But will you hurry up!  I sure hope you made this sword right, because if it snaps then I'll tell God you're a bad person when I see him. 

            That would be very bad, mate. 

            Hurry up!  Quit showing off and cut me loose, you don't need to spear every person in the place with your cute little sword…

            Well, finally!  I never thought I'd be cut loose…

            You know, I've always hated ropes.  Nasty things, give you burns and they are very dangerous. 

            Whoa, I think I deserve some credit here.  I just hung from a rope for like, ten seconds, and now I'm expected to kill all you little guys in your cute little coats? 

            I'll be glad to!  I deserve a little bit of fun… I'm pretty sure I do, I mean… having to listen to pricks talk about all the great stuff you've done like it was a bad thing kinda gets your energy up…

            Now, there are soldiers all around us… lead by the king of pricks himself, Commodore Norrington… well, at least he gets Elizabeth now.  Will is doomed already.  I always hated that guy.    Not really though… he's just an idiot, that's all.  When has he been anything but useless?

            Not counting the time that Elizabeth and I were rescued off that island.

            Or when the mutinous crew of the Black Pearl attacked. 

            Oh, never mind.  I didn't say any of that stuff. 

            "I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill conceived escape attempt but not from you."  The king of pricks says, and once again I have no idea what he is talking about.  I came up with the plan, thank you very much… Will was just… reading my mind, and… stuff. 

            "On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency and this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate!"  The governor, dear old Lizzie's daddy says.   Now, this I can't understand… he says pirate like it's a bad thing… well, I know something about him that's even worse… I mean, to be named Weatherby… aren't you just asking to be made fun of?  It's a little pathetic… he thinks I'm a bad example… I would hate to be so deluded.

            "And a good man." Will says.  He's talking about me… did everyone notice that, how he was talking about me?  That's right, I'm a good man… everyone bow down to the good man…

            And then Mr. Prick has to throw in his little self-righteousness I-better-than-you-are, pirate speech, and Eunuch has to throw back a calm, witty retort, and Miss. Evil Rum-burner has to back it up so he won't be killed… really, people, could we just tone this down?  All I want is to get out of here… could everyone move just a little to the left so I have a clear field? 

            And now Elizabeth is doing her little I-hate-you-prick-and-I-love-Will thing, and really, I could care less… there's the parrot, I see the parrot! 

            Now, it's time for me to step in with a little witty banter. 

            I mean, they used long words, so now it's my turn, right? 

            "Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this." So allow me to bore you with some mindless babble while I escape… "I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically?"  Does anyone know what I just said? "I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that."  Sure I was… you deserve that sassy rum hater… "Elizabeth …it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry."  Of course it would never have worked… rum hater… but the look on her face… ha, I'm pure brilliance… "Will …nice hat."  No, seriously, I'm going to have to get me one of those… "Men! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that you…"   Oops… well, that went rather well…

          I'm alive, aren't I? 

            Right… 

            Any minute now, I'll be in the water…

            This is taking awhile…

            There it is…

            And there's that parrot…

            And there's my Pearl…

            Bliss…

A/N I still feel like I haven't done so well with this… I dunno maybe I should just drop the script and keep to writing my own stuff, y'know?  Well, review and tell me if this totally sucks or it's absolutely brilliant… = D I'm waiting!