Twin in My Soul (More Stories of the Twinning of Aeryn Sun)
Author: blueaeryn
Rating: PG
Summary: Aeryn Questions Herself and John
Notes: Spoilers through the end of S3 Disclaimer: Not mine.
Aeryn lie in her quarters. The ship was quiet except for the regular noise anyone would live with, who made their home on a living ship. She was tired. Bone weary, but not from exertion, but from living with a ghost who permeated ever aspect of Moya. Every corner she turned she could feel her, even memories that she knew were hers, before the twinning, began to feel as if they belonged to someone else.
Was she really Aeryn Sun? Surely if she was John Crichton could love her. His unwillingness to accept her caused doubt to sprout in her heart and it grew with increasing voraciousness until it began to overtake her. If she wasn't Aeryn Sun, then who was she?
Her desperation for answers increased with the news she received today on the commerce planet they visited. She had found a surgeon who had been commissioned by the Peacekeepers, but had had went AWOL 10 cycles ago and had been on the run ever since. It took Aeryn a while to convince the surgeon to run the test, and to prove she wasn't a Peacekeeper anymore, but finally he conceded and performed an exam on her.
The news he gave her both elated and destroyed Aeryn. He had confirmed what she believed. She was pregnant. Just like the other Aeryn she carried a child in her womb, a child that may or may not be John Crichton's.
The surgeon asked if she wished the child to be released from stasis. He explained that it was an arduous procedure and if she didn't do it now, then it may be cycles before she found another surgeon to release the embryo. And if she waited too long and the seven cycles expired, then the embryo would be absorbed by her body and terminated naturally. He told Aeryn it was also the only way he could determine the paternity of the child.
However, the child's paternity test would have two come two solar days after the procedure. Aeryn told him she needed time to think, and would return with her answer. She used the time to stroll through the market place, stopping periodically to absently stare at the products the vendors had to sell.
Aeryn's decision would affect not only her, but also John and the child she carried. She felt so lonely. She longed for his arms. For him to wrap her in his embrace and stroke her head and kiss her temple, the way he did so many cycles ago when she admitted to killing Moya's first pilot. He had told her to cry, to let her emotions go. He had been the first person to show her that crying wasn't a sign of weakness. It was okay to feel and to be loved.
The child, if it was his, was a product of their coupling on the planet the Ancients had created to resemble Earth. She wouldn't admit it then, but she had been frightened that night. She knew the next day held death if his kind came for her, and it was the first time she felt a sense of loss. For she wasn't ready to die, because there was something building between herself and John and she wanted to follow that path.
So, when he had leaned over and kissed her shoulder and then placed a chaste kiss on her lips, she had opened to him in every way. At that moment it wasn't just recreation, a release of body fluids. It was even more then what she had felt for Velorek, for it touched her deep inside in a place she never knew existed.
Now, Aeryn stood on the streets of the market contemplating where her life would go. Could she bring a child into the world that may be resented by its father, if it was John Crichton's progeny? Flashes of his smile, of him laughing, of him holding her came to mind, and she knew what she must do.
With a sure gait she made her way back to the surgeon's facility. She informed him that she would like the stasis released and would return in two solar days for the next test. She then had to persuade the rest of Moya to stay two extra solar days.
Aeryn was surprised at their reaction to her request. She hadn't told them about the pregnancy, just that she had seen a surgeon and that she required some extra test and would they mind waiting. They had told her no, and inquired upon her health, which shocked and delighted her. Maybe she could endear herself to them as well.
John was nowhere to be found. For the past few solar days he had been absent from her sight. It hurt more then she would admit that he had retreated back to his shell, and she began to regret releasing the baby. But it was done, and Aeryn Sun was pregnant.
Two solar days later, Aeryn returned to the surgeon. In a small vile was a brown strand of hair taken from Crichton's comb. She supplied it to the surgeon and lay upon a metal table as he extracted a syringe of fluid from her abdomen and then went over to a machine to run the test.
Aeryn sat on the edge of the table swinging her leather-clad legs as he worked. The tension built within her and she lifted her thumb to her finger and bit the skin around her nail. After what seemed like an eternity he shut off the machine and walked back to her.
"I have the results," he said in a clinical tone. "The sample you provided me matches the DNA strands of the child, they are a match."
All of the emotions Aeryn had been bottling up released and tears flowed freely from her. They ran down her cheeks and dripped down her neck. She brushed them away with the palms of her hands and straightened up.
"I see the news pleases you."
Aeryn couldn't speak, so she just nodded her head in agreement.
"Now, why don't you lie back and we will scan you one last time just to take a quick look at the child's development and you can be on your way."
Aeryn did as he suggested, and he unzipped her vest and folded each end to the side. With a long scanner that looked like a wand, he placed it on her stomach and stroked it back and forth. He looked closer at the monitor and rubbed his eyes with his free hand and then peered at the screen again.
"Is there a problem," Aeryn asked. She sat up leaning herself on her elbows to try and get a good look at what the surgeon was staring at.
"No, no," he said patting her hand. "It is just that before it appeared you were carrying one embryo, but now there are two."
"What are you saying?"
"You carry twins. The split must have occurred after I released the stasis."
"But they both belong to the man I gave you the sample of?"
"Yes. Of course, it's just I have never seen this happen before. Usually the twinning process occurs prior to the stasis."
Aeryn paid the surgeon and thanked him for his assistance and made her way back to Moya. She was in shock to learn that she carried two babies within her, and was puzzled by the surgeon's words.
So now, she lay in her bed tossing and turning trying to decide how or if she should tell John about his children she carried. What was she going to do? How did her life get so frelled up and when was she going to get a chance at happiness?
Soon fitful sleep claimed her and she drifted off. Not long afterward she found herself in the desert. It looked like the planet she had John had landed on when he needed his module fixed. Not far from her a woman came walking toward her. Aeryn felt a jolt of familiarity and as she drew closer she realized why. It was herself.
The woman stopped in front of Aeryn and smiled. She lifted her hand and stroked Aeryn's cheek and tears formed in her eyes.
"You will be good for him," she said. "John just needs time. He loves you. He just needs to remember. Don't give up on him."
"I don't know how much longer I can wait," Aeryn said in a pleading tone. "I have others besides myself and him to think of now."
Aeryn placed a protective hand on her stomach. "I am pregnant."
"I know," the woman said. "You carry our children. Your child and mine, for fate has given my child a second chance. I died without being able to bring him into the world, but you will. You will bear two beautiful healthy sons. Our sons, but they need a father. Don't give up on John, Aeryn. Love him and he will come to you."
With her last words the woman faded leaving Aeryn alone. She awoke in her bed drenched in sweat. Was it a dream, or was it true? Did John love her? Did she carry her child and that of her other self? How could she tell John? Could she wait on him? Or should she just leave and make a new life for herself and her sons? They were questions she needed to answer and the only way to do it was to confront John, and see if there was still love in his heart.
Summary: Aeryn Questions Herself and John
Notes: Spoilers through the end of S3 Disclaimer: Not mine.
Aeryn lie in her quarters. The ship was quiet except for the regular noise anyone would live with, who made their home on a living ship. She was tired. Bone weary, but not from exertion, but from living with a ghost who permeated ever aspect of Moya. Every corner she turned she could feel her, even memories that she knew were hers, before the twinning, began to feel as if they belonged to someone else.
Was she really Aeryn Sun? Surely if she was John Crichton could love her. His unwillingness to accept her caused doubt to sprout in her heart and it grew with increasing voraciousness until it began to overtake her. If she wasn't Aeryn Sun, then who was she?
Her desperation for answers increased with the news she received today on the commerce planet they visited. She had found a surgeon who had been commissioned by the Peacekeepers, but had had went AWOL 10 cycles ago and had been on the run ever since. It took Aeryn a while to convince the surgeon to run the test, and to prove she wasn't a Peacekeeper anymore, but finally he conceded and performed an exam on her.
The news he gave her both elated and destroyed Aeryn. He had confirmed what she believed. She was pregnant. Just like the other Aeryn she carried a child in her womb, a child that may or may not be John Crichton's.
The surgeon asked if she wished the child to be released from stasis. He explained that it was an arduous procedure and if she didn't do it now, then it may be cycles before she found another surgeon to release the embryo. And if she waited too long and the seven cycles expired, then the embryo would be absorbed by her body and terminated naturally. He told Aeryn it was also the only way he could determine the paternity of the child.
However, the child's paternity test would have two come two solar days after the procedure. Aeryn told him she needed time to think, and would return with her answer. She used the time to stroll through the market place, stopping periodically to absently stare at the products the vendors had to sell.
Aeryn's decision would affect not only her, but also John and the child she carried. She felt so lonely. She longed for his arms. For him to wrap her in his embrace and stroke her head and kiss her temple, the way he did so many cycles ago when she admitted to killing Moya's first pilot. He had told her to cry, to let her emotions go. He had been the first person to show her that crying wasn't a sign of weakness. It was okay to feel and to be loved.
The child, if it was his, was a product of their coupling on the planet the Ancients had created to resemble Earth. She wouldn't admit it then, but she had been frightened that night. She knew the next day held death if his kind came for her, and it was the first time she felt a sense of loss. For she wasn't ready to die, because there was something building between herself and John and she wanted to follow that path.
So, when he had leaned over and kissed her shoulder and then placed a chaste kiss on her lips, she had opened to him in every way. At that moment it wasn't just recreation, a release of body fluids. It was even more then what she had felt for Velorek, for it touched her deep inside in a place she never knew existed.
Now, Aeryn stood on the streets of the market contemplating where her life would go. Could she bring a child into the world that may be resented by its father, if it was John Crichton's progeny? Flashes of his smile, of him laughing, of him holding her came to mind, and she knew what she must do.
With a sure gait she made her way back to the surgeon's facility. She informed him that she would like the stasis released and would return in two solar days for the next test. She then had to persuade the rest of Moya to stay two extra solar days.
Aeryn was surprised at their reaction to her request. She hadn't told them about the pregnancy, just that she had seen a surgeon and that she required some extra test and would they mind waiting. They had told her no, and inquired upon her health, which shocked and delighted her. Maybe she could endear herself to them as well.
John was nowhere to be found. For the past few solar days he had been absent from her sight. It hurt more then she would admit that he had retreated back to his shell, and she began to regret releasing the baby. But it was done, and Aeryn Sun was pregnant.
Two solar days later, Aeryn returned to the surgeon. In a small vile was a brown strand of hair taken from Crichton's comb. She supplied it to the surgeon and lay upon a metal table as he extracted a syringe of fluid from her abdomen and then went over to a machine to run the test.
Aeryn sat on the edge of the table swinging her leather-clad legs as he worked. The tension built within her and she lifted her thumb to her finger and bit the skin around her nail. After what seemed like an eternity he shut off the machine and walked back to her.
"I have the results," he said in a clinical tone. "The sample you provided me matches the DNA strands of the child, they are a match."
All of the emotions Aeryn had been bottling up released and tears flowed freely from her. They ran down her cheeks and dripped down her neck. She brushed them away with the palms of her hands and straightened up.
"I see the news pleases you."
Aeryn couldn't speak, so she just nodded her head in agreement.
"Now, why don't you lie back and we will scan you one last time just to take a quick look at the child's development and you can be on your way."
Aeryn did as he suggested, and he unzipped her vest and folded each end to the side. With a long scanner that looked like a wand, he placed it on her stomach and stroked it back and forth. He looked closer at the monitor and rubbed his eyes with his free hand and then peered at the screen again.
"Is there a problem," Aeryn asked. She sat up leaning herself on her elbows to try and get a good look at what the surgeon was staring at.
"No, no," he said patting her hand. "It is just that before it appeared you were carrying one embryo, but now there are two."
"What are you saying?"
"You carry twins. The split must have occurred after I released the stasis."
"But they both belong to the man I gave you the sample of?"
"Yes. Of course, it's just I have never seen this happen before. Usually the twinning process occurs prior to the stasis."
Aeryn paid the surgeon and thanked him for his assistance and made her way back to Moya. She was in shock to learn that she carried two babies within her, and was puzzled by the surgeon's words.
So now, she lay in her bed tossing and turning trying to decide how or if she should tell John about his children she carried. What was she going to do? How did her life get so frelled up and when was she going to get a chance at happiness?
Soon fitful sleep claimed her and she drifted off. Not long afterward she found herself in the desert. It looked like the planet she had John had landed on when he needed his module fixed. Not far from her a woman came walking toward her. Aeryn felt a jolt of familiarity and as she drew closer she realized why. It was herself.
The woman stopped in front of Aeryn and smiled. She lifted her hand and stroked Aeryn's cheek and tears formed in her eyes.
"You will be good for him," she said. "John just needs time. He loves you. He just needs to remember. Don't give up on him."
"I don't know how much longer I can wait," Aeryn said in a pleading tone. "I have others besides myself and him to think of now."
Aeryn placed a protective hand on her stomach. "I am pregnant."
"I know," the woman said. "You carry our children. Your child and mine, for fate has given my child a second chance. I died without being able to bring him into the world, but you will. You will bear two beautiful healthy sons. Our sons, but they need a father. Don't give up on John, Aeryn. Love him and he will come to you."
With her last words the woman faded leaving Aeryn alone. She awoke in her bed drenched in sweat. Was it a dream, or was it true? Did John love her? Did she carry her child and that of her other self? How could she tell John? Could she wait on him? Or should she just leave and make a new life for herself and her sons? They were questions she needed to answer and the only way to do it was to confront John, and see if there was still love in his heart.
