I looked out over the expanse of flowers in fresh bloom, sending their sweet fragrances into the warm spring air. It was one of those days you just wanted to stay outside forever... The dark dress around my ankles twisted and twirled in the light breeze, also blowing my long black hair into my face. Laguna... when was he coming back? He didn't even know... about Squall.... I turned away and Elle dashed up.

"Raine...?"

"Yes, Elle?"

"What are you waiting for...?"

"For... Uncle Laguna." For my husband...

"What if he doesn't come back...?" asked Elle worriedly.

"He will, Elle, he will." I sighed. He promised.

"Well, what if he doesn't in time to see my little brother?" she demanded.

"He'll come back for us... I know he will very soon. Have faith..."

"Let's go, Raine..." Ellone grabbed my arm.

"...Okay."

            Another day that he didn't come back... was lost. I would give anything for a letter, anything from him. I hadn't even gotten to tell him about Squall... or about... I held my breath and followed Elle into the restaurant and upstairs. I smiled faintly, remembering the time I had first met him. I thought I hated him, but the feeling I had inside the whole time was love... I went again to leafing through his Timber Maniac articles.

            And the next month or so passed this way. I wondered when my Laguna was going to come back to me... and every day I could I waited for him on the hill. But the day came when our son was due, and still he didn't come. I was letting go on him coming back any time soon... 

            Before I knew it, my son's first birthday came. Elle was sitting contently in the back seat playing with Squall. I smiled. I had been afraid Elle wouldn't like Squall... I turned and immediately, in horror, swerved. A car was on the wrong side of the road; obviously drunk. They didn't stop... Elle screamed, which set Squall off... And there was a jarring jolt. The car rolled over, and I didn't have my seatbelt on. I tumbled out of the car and all consciousness was lost.

            When I woke up I was hooked up to machines and I couldn't think straight. I wanted to go back to sleep... the pain was terrible. I felt a strong hand over mine and looked over. Laguna... he was home... I smiled weakly. He cursed then broke into tears. My head spun and I struggled to keep a grip.

"Laguna..." it even hurt to talk.

"Raine...! I'm so sorry...."

"It's okay." I smiled, and I tried to squeeze his hand, but even that sent a rush of pain through me.

"Oh Raine..." I could tell he blamed himself.

"Squall and Elle... are they okay...?"

"Yeah." He nodded, and then bit his lip. "I had no idea..."

"I know... it's all going to be okay..." I whispered.

But inside I felt like it was not going to be all okay.  He looked away and I knew a doctor had told him something that he hadn't wanted to hear. I closed my eyes, realizing the pain was worst in my head. I knew things weren't going as good as they should've been.

"Promise me something, Laguna..."

"What?"

"Promise you won't forget me... promise to take care of Squall and Elle... okay?" I hated asking that, but I knew...

"I promise." he answered shakily. "But you'll make it through this."

"I love you, Laguna." I whispered. My senses were dulling, and I was afraid suddenly. Afraid of loosing Laguna, Squall, Elle… afraid of never seeing them again. I wasn't ready...

"I love you, too."

I let all fade to black... and I knew I was where I belonged.

EVANESCENCE

"My Last Breath"

Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
all I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there

say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black