The Day Remus Lupin Drove Everyone Else Insane With His Hyperactive Joyfulness

'Good morning, Professor McGonagall,' beamed Remus Lupin. 'How are you?'

'Shut up,' said Professor McGonagall through gritted teeth.

'And a good morning to you, too, Professor Snape,' remarked Lupin smiling brightly, now turning to Snape and ignoring McGonagall's unpleasantness.

'Get away from me,' hissed Snape, turning his back to Lupin.

'Oh, and hello and good morning to you, Professor Dumbledore,' said ignorant little Lupin, waving frantically at the Headmaster.

'Hold your tongue and stop waving, you idiot,' replied Dumbledore, his eyebrows one long low line.

Still, it was as if nothing mattered to Lupin. He kept beaming and looking around pleasantly, waving at people and greeting everyone he knew.

'What's wrong with you?' asked Snape finally, when everyone else had gone slightly mad over Lupin's cheer.

'Nothing, Severus, nothing, I tell you!' answered Lupin, waving at Hagrid and Hooch, who were passing, playing horse and rider, Hagrid steering Hooch around the Great Hall.

But Snape - by nature a suspicious soul - didn't think it could be nothing, because, as he was thinking it over, Professor Sinistra came by on a pogo- stick and Professor McGonagall was playing the bagpipes in a kilt.

'Could you please, all be quiet for a moment!' he bellowed, after not being able to think straight for two whole seconds. Everyone went quiet, though Dumbledore was still trying to sneak under McGonagall's kilt. 'Thank you,' said Snape.

He reached for Lupin's mug, which was supposed to contain normal coffee, as was usual. Snape sniffed and drew his conclusions instantaneously. He looked around the Great Hall, spying everyone present.

'Who gave Lupin an extra-extra-extra strong coffee with extra-extra-extra- extra sugar?'