A/N: Ha! Yes, I know you've been expecting an Author's note, just to check whether I'm really as insane as you thought. Well, let me tell you, I'm not, and I'm not on a sugar-kick (since I'm dieting), and I haven't had an extra-extra-extra strong coffee with extra-extra-extra-extra much sugar, either. I've only had an overdose of fanfiction.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was this: This chapter has been dedicated to the Duchess of Inkling, for liking my summary of M.H. Abrams's relevant entries from the Glossary of Literary Terms, and including me in one of her Lucius-stories. Cheers!

The Day Lupin Accidentally Found Snape At It Again In His Secret Dungeon Bondage Room

Lupin hastily went down the steps into the dungeons, hurrying towards Snape's private rooms to get an antidote against the symptoms his students were suffering from, resulting from a wrongly administered aphrodisiac. In other words, it wasn't Lupin's fault, and he was going to kick some Potion Master Arse.

As Snape was neither in his office or his bedroom, nor in the classroom (which was filled with apparently drugged seventh years), Lupin went to search for him in the oddest places, until - after visiting two loos and a broom cupboard - he reached a dungeon room deep under the castle. Everything was clad in darkness, but from this room, a soft light of torches was emitted. Carefully, Lupin entered.

There, in the wavering torchlight, Lupin saw the strangest thing he'd seen so far. The room was filled to the rim with strange torturing devices, and in the middle of it all stood a bed, upon which a naked, seventh year Slytherin girl was bound. He recognised her, relieved.

"Oh, hello, Hanna, have you by chance seen Professor Snape?" he asked her, feeling he was to find the man shortly.

"Lupin?!" shrieked someone behind him. "What are YOU doing here? Get out!" It was Snape, dressed in latex.

"Oh," said Lupin, brightening up, "hello, Severus, I just wanted to return that Acrophiliac to you - by the way, it was the wrong stuff - it was an Aphrodisiac."

"Oooh," said Snape, looking shocked, "how could that have gotten into my storage rooms?"

"I wonder." mused Lupin, eyeing the girl on the bed.