Author's Note – ok, ok, ok.  I can take the hint.  You're all pestering me for more, and here it is.  Just let me know if I ended in a good spot.  ; )

Hope you've all gotten the chance to see OUaTiM . . . that's what I've been doing lately.

Author's thanks at end.

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Tess woke the next morning as the sun pierced her eyelids.  She moaned as her neck and back let her know they did not appreciate having spent the night sitting up against a hard wall.  Her eyes opened, squinting as light came in the wide open windows.  She looked down; there was a dark head resting against her collarbone.  Sands had twisted sometime during the night so that his temple was resting above her heart.  Tess sighed, wondering how she was supposed to get out of bed without waking her companion.  Almost without thought, her hand came up and brushed some hair out of his face, revealing that he was still wearing a pair of sunglasses.  She would have preferred that he have something wrapped over his eyes, but his nerve-endings were even more alive now than they had been in Mexico; the pain would have been too much.

   Danger, Will Robinson.  The voice sent a surge of panic through her, making its opinion known.

   Tess noticed what her hands were doing.  I need to get out.  Very, very carefully, she shifted Sands off her and onto the bed, making sure he was lying on his back to keep the arms of his glasses from digging into his face.

   Get moving.

   I have to make sure he's alright.  That is my job.  It was chilly in the room, so Tess went to the closet and got a light blanket to cover Sands with.

   Then make sure you keep things businesslike, Teresa.  You don't want him to start to influence any part of your life.  He's like me – you'd never be able to control him.  I'd use him, you know that.  He'd become my unwitting ally in your eventual mental destruction.

   You may be able to control me, but you can't control him.

   You really want to bet that madness can't spread?

   "I'm leaving, alright?  You can stop your nagging and your threats."  Tess paused despite her words.  If they could just get through this next week.  Six more days.  Then perhaps the sun would be able to wake him as well.  As she stood looking down into Sands' face, Tess whispered, "For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,/And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed;/And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill,/And their hearts but once heaved, and forever grew still."

   Tess was halfway out the door when the sound of  Sands' voice stopped her.  "I was wondering when you were going to show up."

   "What?"

   "You.  My very own angel of death.  Are you quoting one of your dead friends, or were you simply reading my future?"

   Tess came back to the bed, unsure if he was even aware of what he was saying.  Was he in control, or was the mood from the night before still in control?  She'd hoped that a night of sleep would help his mind rejuvenate, but perhaps it hadn't.  "Sands?"

   "I do have a request to make though.  If you're going to take me, would you stop dragging it out?  It's bad enough that I hurt all the time but the boredom is nearly unbearable."

   "Sands, you're talking nonsense."  Tess reached out to touch him, stopping at the last moment.  Nothing before this had really frightened her, but this was coming close.

   He is one of those men who would be enormously improved by death.  The voice smirked.  All of us are constantly being bombarded by particles of misplaced schizophrenia.  Some of you are just more vulnerable that others.  Either by some mental defect, like you, or through forced defenselessness, like your friend.

   It's a good thing he'll be off the medications soon then, isn't it?

   And what makes you think that any of us give up easily once we've taken root?

   He's not the type to give in.  Not forever.  Eventually he'd kick your ass.

   You're probably right.  I guess that makes you a weakling, doesn't it?

   "Stop it.  Just stop it already."  If placing her hands over her ears would have done anything other than make the voice easier to hear, then she probably would have done it.  "You're just teasing me now."

   "You're no fun, chiquita."  Tessa's attention snapped from her voice to Sands' voice.  "You make me stop teasing and I'll have nothing left to fill my days with."  She couldn't deal with this at the moment.  Tess turned on her heel and left the room before things got more confusing – before her voice could start in again.  Before Sands could go through another mood swing.  Before she gave into the temptation to find a quiet corner somewhere and let the world take care of itself.  As she closed the door, she heard Sands' self-satisfied laughter and heard her voice pick up where he'd left off after the door had cut off the sound of his conceit. 

Sands laid in his bed for some time after Tess left the room.  His head throbbed, the space behind his forehead screamed, and his back was strangely cold.  But that was nothing when compared to feeling that something had happened the night before that he couldn't remember.  Which was ridiculous, because he remembered going to bed the night before, listening to the quiet turning of pages as Tess sat across the room from him. But there was still that feeling . . . .

   To be quite honest, it had been a shock to wake up and find her mumbling over him.  For a moment he'd had a hard time remembering where he was; reality, memories of Mexico, and his dreams had mingled together in a seething mass that threatened to overwhelm him.  So he'd started talking.  Hearing his own voice seemed to help cut through the confusion at times, even if it only helped him remember who he was and not who he was with.

   That was the worst part of it . . . the times when his mind wandered.  The lack of control he had and the lack of memory that often went with it.  The knowledge that Tess was there for it all and the fact that she never said anything.  Despite feelings that smothered him at the thought that he was saying and doing things without any knowledge, he couldn't bring himself to ask his nurse what actually happened in the periods he couldn't remember.  And she never asked him anything that with what he couldn't remember talking about, which she would have if what he'd been saying had been trivial – which meant he could have been spilling all his darkest secrets and dancing around the house naked.  Damn the woman for not being more inquisitive.  For being silent.  For being supportive.  For being harmless enough for him to start to trust her.

    There's a brilliant idea.  Trust.  If I remember correctly, this entire predicament can be laid at the feet of people you 'trusted' but were proven to be rather . . . untrustworthy.  Well, except for the rat you hired to get 'El' and his team into the president's residence.

   I didn't say I did trust her.  Just that I think she couldn't hide a thing to save her life.  Even her silence screams information.  God, his superego or whatever had gotten insistent lately. 

   Well, as useful as that may seem, I must also point out that you thought much the same of Ajedrez, so forgive me if I don't really trust your judgment in these matters.  And just in case you haven't noticed, Sheldon, betrayal can be harmful to one's health.

   To betray, you must first belong.  That doesn't apply in this circumstance.

   Make sure you keep that in mind.

Three more days.  Just three more days.  If doing so wouldn't have been life-threatening, she would have resorted to keeping Sands sedated by now.  Luckily, he didn't have much energy any more either. He's not even up yet today.

   Tess heard the front door open and close but didn't bother looking to see who it was.  It could only be Tina or Logan; they were the only ones with keys to the house. 

   Well, that or Mr. Keel finally tracked you down and is now going to take you back to Mexico to face whoever is intent on taking over the cartel.

   By now, that would seem like a vacation.  At least then I would know what to expect.  Tessa raised her eyebrows without opening her eyes; she heard two sets of footsteps.  And they both sounded like women's.

   "Well, I can see that my evil twin wasn't exaggerating when he said that you needed a break."  The woman's voice was full of wry humor and a bit of exasperation.  It wasn't Tina.

   I know that voice.  Tess opened her eyes to find Jessica Pierce, Logan's twin sister, standing in the threshold of the living room, her arms crossed carelessly over her chest.

   "I hope you don't take any offence, T, but you look like death warmed over."

   "Jessica."  Tess stood up to greet her friend but instead found herself reaching for support as the blood drained from her head and the room spun.

   "Easy there, Trix."  Jessica had moved across the room when she'd seen Tessa go pale.  "I know you won that diving competition our freshman year, but I'd prefer you not reenact it without a pool."

   "I'm fine."

   "Of course you are.  You're always fine."  The two women sat back down on the couch.  "You also smell.  As soon as you're able to stand up without passing out, I want you to go take a shower."

   "I can't.  I have to look after Sands.  Where's Tina?  And I thought you weren't coming until next week."

   "Yes you can, leave Sands to me, Tina's putting away some groceries before she hurries off to assist my brother, and I came early."

   "Why?"

   "Because Logan called me and said that he was worried about you.  So I took some sick leave and flew out.  Shower.  Now.  We can talk later." 

   Tess shook her head but did as she was told.  Jessica was one of her best friends and more importantly . . . no one ever said 'no' to her.  Logan was the laidback twin, Jessica the overachiever.  If Jess wanted her to take a shower, then that was what Tess was going to do.  "Umm . . .make sure you make noise and perhaps hum so Sands knows there's someone else in the house besides the two of us.  He's been a little . . . jumpy lately.  I don't want any misunderstandings."

   "Will do.  Go take a shower.  You'll feel better after you do.  Just don't faint while you're in there because I'm not big on doing first aid on people while they're in the nude."

   "I thought you were an OB-GYN."

   "I am."

   "Then wouldn't it be more precise to say that you're not used to giving first aid at all?"

   "Teresa.  Shower.  Now.  Or I'll really make you regret it."

   "Mmm . . . nice to see you too."  Tess got up and went into the bathroom, not at all surprised to find that she'd missed Jessica even more than she'd missed Logan.

   Once she heard water start running, Jessica went into the kitchen.  Tina was still there unpacking and putting away groceries.  "I want to thank you for keeping an eye on T.  She's a fighter but sometimes she doesn't know when to give up."

   Tina just nodded her head.  "To tell you the truth, I was getting a little worried about her myself.  The other day I caught her looking at a rather large bruise on her side; Marcus and Lena, the oldest of the four children she took in, tell me that she stays up most of the night.  She's taking her responsibilities very seriously."

   "Yes, well, that's Teresa for you.  She tells very wild stories of her college days, but she never mentions that they only happened after she'd gotten all her studying and homework out of the way.  And extra credit if it was being offered."  Jessica shook her head.  "The only reason she has any escapades to tell stories of is because Ingrid took her under our collective wing."  Logan, Inge and Jess had all grown up together, but while the twins had opted not to live in the dorms, Inge had, and Tess had been her roommate.  For the first semester of school, Tessa had been a very serious little freshman . . . and then she'd joined their study group.

   Tina chuckled.  "Looks like you've got your work cut out for you then.  As do I.  Today I'm briefing the other nurses who'll be assisting in the operation about what to expect and what procedure to follow.  Your brother has everything planned out down to the last second."

   "I can believe that.  By the way, thanks for the ride up here.  I think I can take care of things from here on out."  Tina smiled and left and Jessica surveyed the kitchen.  "Well, let's see what there is around here to eat."

"So, Logan tells me that you're looking for a job.  Are you finally going to settle down?  In the US?  Where your friends can visit you without getting a series of shots and packing their own water?"

   "Jess . . .  I had things to finish in Mexico."  Tess didn't say what and Jessica didn't ask.

   "So you're going to settle in LA?"

   "No.  Too warm.  Why do you ask?"

   "Well, it seems as if you have a rather large loose end in your spare bedroom."

   Tess looked at her friend, then set her fork on her plate.  Breakfast had been very good, but now it was sitting in the bottom of her stomach like a lead weight.  "What do you mean?"

   "Tess.  We've known each other for years.  Because I'm a woman, I know you even better than Logan does, and you've managed to worry him.  As much as I love my brother, he's a guy and guys don't worry.  He said you were courting disaster by taking care of this man single-handedly, and I thought he was overreacting.  He's had a low-level crush on you for years ­–"

   "He has not."

   "Yes.  He has.  You've just trained yourself not to notice it."  Tess didn't argue, so Jess continued.  "Anyway, now that I've seen you for myself, I'm inclined to agree with him.  Tess, you can't just go around skipping sleep and putting yourself in stressful situation after stressful situation.  Not if you don't want to end up –"

   "Jess, I know this."  Tessa leaned across the table and whispered to her friend in a burning voice, "I know this better than you ever will.  I'm the one with a voice in the back of their head telling them that if they're not careful, they're going to end up dead.  I understand that when I took in a family of orphans that I was committing myself to at least another eighteen years of responsibility.  But I have a responsibility to Sands as well, and I don't intend on deserting him."

   "I'm not asking you to desert him, T.  I'm asking you to look after yourself.  To get a decent night's sleep.  Do you know what Tina told me?  She said that you're managing to worry your young charges as well.  They've lost one set of parents.  If the one adult they're depending on for stability goes around the bend, what do you think that will do to them?"

   "I'm not anywhere close to –"

   "How many booster shots have you given yourself in the past week, Tess?"  Tess fell silent, cursing her overly-attentive friends.  She didn't need a babysitter, and she didn't need a nurse.  At least she didn't think she did.  "Tess?"

   "Four."  Tessa's voice was barely audible.  "I've given myself four injections.  And I thought about taking another one this morning but couldn't work up the energy to go into my room."

   "Four."  Things were worse than she'd thought.  "We both know that it's normal for you to only need to use one or two in a month.  What are you thinking, Teresa?  If you're not careful, you're going to make yourself sick and build up a nice dependence at the same time."

   "I know.  It's just that Sands needs me . . ."

   "Look, we can talk about that later.  Right now I want you to get some sleep."

   "I can't.  What if he –"

   "Then I will come wake you up.  Or you can sleep on the couch if you want.  I don't care as long as you get some sleep."

   Tess blinked slowly, trying to quiet the part of her mind that was trying to tell her that Jessica had no reason to be telling her what to do and she needed to shut up.  Friends stick their noses in each other's business.  That's how things work.

   They're lucky they don't get their noses shot off.

   We don't have a gun.

   Yes, but we know where you stashed Sands'.

   Rather than continue that conversation, Tess forced herself to focus on something else.  The woods are lovely, dark and deep./But I have promises to keep,/And miles to go before I sleep,/And miles to go before I sleep.  She sighed.  "Fine.  You win.  I'll take the couch.  Wake me when Sands starts moving around."

   "Will do."  Jessica had no intention of doing any such thing.  She'd let Tess sleep until she woke up on her own.

   Tess looked at her friend as if she knew what she was thinking, then went into her bedroom to grab a blanket and a pillow.  She caught an a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror and she turned to look at herself.  Man . . . maybe they're right.  Her hair was hanging damply around her face, she was pale under her tan, there were dark circles under her eyes, and she looked skinny.  Perhaps she'd lost some weight as Sands had suggested that night.

   Yes, let's do talk about 'that night.'

   No.  I'm going to bed.  Using what was left of her mental energy, Tess slammed the door on her voice and went into the living room, dragging her blanket behind her like a young child.  Throwing her pillow on the couch, she soon followed it, quickly dropping into sleep to the sound of quiet classical music and the soft clanging of pots and pans as Jessica cleaned up the kitchen.

Logan sat in his office, taking a break from reviewing every step of his procedure for a last time.  He was going to do all he could to ensure that Sands got his vision back.  And half the battle was preparation. 

   "Dr. Pierce?"  Logan looked up to see Ashley standing in his doorway.  He raised his eyebrows, a silent inquiry into what she needed.  "A package just came for you, doctor."

   "Oh," he gestured for her to enter his office.  She did, only staying long enough to hand him the large manila envelope before leaving him again.  Logan looked at the postmark on the envelope; it had been sent from San Antonio.  For several moments he stared at the packet, tempted to open it.  Then, slowly, he placed it in his briefcase.  The information in that envelope was for Tess.  He'd stay out of it until she felt like sharing.

Jessica had cleaned the kitchen, started several loads of clothes, and made herself a cup of tea by the time that Sands woke up.  Jessica had never been a big fan of classical music, so as soon as her old school friend was asleep, she'd moved the radio dial to a top 20 station.  That's how Sands had immediately known that someone else was in the house. 

   He paused halfway down the hall when he heard someone singing softly under their breath.  He hadn't heard Tess sing for long, or even in English, but he'd stored the sound of her voice in his head along with the information that she wasn't a follower of pop music.

   Swearing in his head the entire time, Sands found his way into Tessa's room.  Once inside, he found her closet and reached under a pile of spare pillows, pulling out one of his gun belts.  The woman was obviously not used to having to hide things.  As Sands shook his head, he fastened the belt and holsters around his waist.  Then he went to her dresser and rummaged until he found the clips she'd removed from the guns.  La señorita really needs to learn how to make sure no one is eavesdropping on her. 

   Prepared, he walked back into the hallway and approached the kitchen, hands poised to reach for a gun should the need arise.  Sands paused in the threshold of the kitchen and kept listening.  A cell phone rang, and the unknown woman answered it.

   "This is Jessica . . . yeah, I convinced her to take a nap. . . . What?  Oh, no.  I haven't seen hide nor hair of him yet. . . . Well, that would be up to her, but I'll see what I can do – I think she could use the time to relax. . . . Yes, yes, yes.  I understand that you might want to see your long lost twin."  The woman laughed.  If Sands was any judge of these things, it sounded as if she were sitting with her back to him.  "That was entirely uncalled for, and I will make you pay for it.  I'll talk to you later, alright?  Bye."

   There was a beep as the woman hung up the phone, and a faint scraping sound as if she'd picked something up.  He shook his head – so many people went about their lives as if no threats ever came up unseen.  He knew better and he'd still gotten burned.

   Still making sure to remain silent, Sands removed a cigarette from behind his ear.  Then he let the click of his lighter sound in the silence as he lit the cigarette.  His ears picked up a small gasp and he smirked.  It was good to know that he could sneak up on someone other than his absent-minded nurse.

   Doctor.

   Whatever. 

   While he was busy arguing semantics with himself, Jessica collected her wits.  "You must be Sands.  It's nice to finally meet you."

   Sands cursed for letting the woman recover before he could say anything, covering his agitation by taking a long drag on his cigarette.  "I'd say it was nice to meet you desconocida, but I don't believe we've been introduced yet.  I do so hate to jump the gun."  He smiled at his own joke.

   Jessica didn't introduce herself right away.  She knew by now that this was a man that if you didn't establish yourself as a force to be reckoned with immediately, then he'd walk all over you.  "Well, from what I've heard, you've probably been standing there long enough to make an educated guess about who I am."

   Sands bit back the urge to curse at the woman.  He got the distinct impression that this woman would give as good as she got, and he wasn't exactly at the top of his game at the moment.  "Still, it's always nice to have one's assumptions proven to be right.  And since you already know who I am, then I think the introductions are up to you."  He moved into the kitchen, hooked a chair leg with his foot, and sat down.  Once seated, he waited expectantly for the woman to pick up the ball.

   Jessica watched Sands, noticing the wrinkled khakis, the white shirt emblazoned with 'WTF?', and the hat that looked as if it'd be more in character with a seventy-year-old Floridian shuffleboard player.  The only thing that stuck out were the sunglasses he was wearing inside the house and the rather prominent gun belt strapped around his waist.  Then she noticed the arrogant grin on his face.  She could handle him – she'd worked with doctors like him.  And it was hard to find anyone more arrogant that a male doctor fresh out of med school.  They were one of the reasons she'd gone brunette.

Tess was standing in a room.  It was bare, sterile, and empty but for two people.  Well, three people if she counted herself, but this was a dream and she knew that although she could see the room, she wasn't really there.

   Deciding she had nothing better to do, she walked . . . floated . . . moved over to stand in front of the two people in the room.  As she did, things came into focus; a bed, monitors, curtains, a window.  I know this place.  It's a hospital room, she thought.  With that realization, she was in front of the two people in the room.  Curious, she examined their faces: it was Logan and Sands.  Logan was in a lab coat and had a stethoscope around his neck, Sands was in a hospital gown and had bandages around his eyes.

   "Ok, it's been two weeks.  It's time to take off the bandages.  I've already turned the lights down pretty low."  Were the lights low?  Tess could see everything as if they were standing in strong daylight.  "You're not going to be able to see anything, but that's not what we're looking for right now.  Right now we want to see if you can detect low levels of light.  Ready?"  Sands merely shrugged.  "Alright, I'm going to cut away the bandages."

   Tess watched, her curiosity turning into horror as blood started to show on the bandages, slowly starting to trail down Sands' face.  She gasped – no one paid her any attention.  Under her dismayed gaze, other wounds on his body that she had long thought healed broke open and started to bleed.  His arm, his legs . . . but she was the only one that noticed.  Both Logan and Sands continued as if nothing was happening.

   The bandages came off . . . .

   Tess screamed . . . .

   "What's wrong, niña?"  Sands was looking at her, and blood was quickly coating his face, but that wasn't the worst.  That hadn't made her scream.  What had made her scream was the fact that despite the blood, Sands had eyes, and they were her father's eyes, and they accused her and condemned her and promised retribution.

   What makes you think this is going to work?  Tess spun to find a mirror behind her.  You're a fool, Teresa Adame.  Tess covered her hands, but the voice rang in her head, overcoming any defenses she had in sleep.  You can't do this.  It will fail.  And who will take the blame for that?  Logan?  She and her reflection shook their heads.  No, he'll just take the data he gathers and fix what he can and write a paper.  The blame will lay on you, because without you, Sands wouldn't be here.

   Without me, he'd be dead, she whispered.

   He's dying now.  This failure will kill him inside, and he'll take you with him.  No, she wouldn't believe that.  She couldn't.  Look for yourself, Teresa.  Look at your patient, at the man you saved.  Tess found she didn't have a choice; her body turned without her direction.  Logan was gone and Sands laid on the bed, blood still seeping from his body.  His eyes were closed.

   No. 

   She rushed over to the bed, not quite able to bring herself to touch him.  There was so much blood.  Tess knew that there was nothing she was able to do.  With a tear running down her face, a clear imitation of the blood on his face, Tess took one of Sands' hands in hers.  I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  Sands gave a gentle smile and the simplicity of the smile filled her with confusion.  Confusion that fled at his next words.

   "Fuck you."  His eyes opened, and again they were the eyes of her father.  His hand imprisoned hers, not letting her run away.  Something brushed against her ribcage and she looked down.  It was a gun. 

   An explosion reached her ears as ice pierced her body.  The gun fell to the floor, Sands let her go.  The ice turned to fire.  Tess reached down and felt a warm fluid running out of her body.  Blood.  He'd shot her.  She looked back at him as her knees buckled.  "You ought to see your face . . . your sister had the same look right after I shot her."

   How had he known that?

   See what happens when you don't listen to me, Teresa?  Although I suppose I shouldn't complain.  You're mine now.  Tess felt hands on her body, holding her down.  Mine.

   Tess screamed.

After more than an hour of butting heads with Tessa's friend, Sands went outside for a smoke.  Not that he was conceding or admitting defeat.  No, he was simply taking the time to rethink his tactics.  The woman was extraordinarily stubborn; she didn't evade questions, but fired her own back before he could realize she hadn't answered.  It was rather frustrating. 

   He hadn't been outside long when he heard screams erupt from inside the house.  Damn it.  He tossed his cigarette to the concrete patio and drew his guns, going back into the house.  Just underneath the screams he heard the woman's voice.

   "Tessa, wake up."  There were the sounds of a struggle near the couch.  "Tess, stop fighting me.  You need to wake up."  Sands put his guns away.  A nightmare.  Quickly, he crossed the couch and tipped the back, tumbling Tess off it.  There was a thud as she hit the floor and then everything went silent.

   Jessica looked up from the floor where her friend was catching her breath, then at Sands.  "Well, that worked.  I'm not it was entirely necessary, but it worked."  Sands resisted the urge to flip the woman off, and went back outside, lighting another cigarette and leaning against the house.

   Twenty minutes or more went by before he heard someone come outside with him.  He knew immediately that it was Tess.  The other woman, Jessica, would have started pestering him – it was the kind of person she was.  Tess knew better.

   After five minutes had gone by without Tess saying anything, Sands asked, "Is there something I can do for you, señorita?"

   "No."  He could hear that he'd surprised her.  "No.  I'm fine.  I just . . . I just needed to be in the sun for a bit.  I'm sorry if I disturbed you.  Do you want me to go?"

   Sand dropped his cigarette, listening for the sound of it hitting the concrete, then snuffed it out with his shoe.  Tess watched, tracking his movements in the same manner that she'd been doing so for weeks.  It was second habit by now.  And it was comforting to see him free of blood.  "Running from the terror in there?"  For a moment Tess was confused.  It wasn't like Sands to comment on nightmares or bad dreams.  He never even asked what happened during his.  Why would he be interested in hers?  "I'm talking about your friend."

   "Oh, Jessica.  What's wrong?  She didn't let you push her around?"  She waited for Sands to answer her, but no reply was offered.  Tess took this as an indication to let the subject slide.  However, he'd never told her to leave either, so she assumed she had his permission to invade his refuge for awhile.  With a sigh, Tess went and laid herself on the lawn, watching the clouds as she let the sun calm her nerves.

"I'm going to go for a walk.  You kids behave yourselves while I'm gone." 

   Tess rolled her eyes as Jessica left the house with a bounce in her step.  "I think you may be right about Jess becoming more like your mother every day."  Logan chuckled, but Tess knew there was something else on his mind.  "I knew it was a bad idea to leave the two of you alone together.  She told you about this afternoon, didn't she?"

   Logan sighed, but didn't deny it.  "Want to tell me what it was about?"

   "No.  It was just a bad dream generated by stress and my concern over the procedure, that's all.  I'll be fine."

   "Well, at least you have one less thing to worry about."  That was true.  Shortly before Logan had left the office that night, word had come that the donor eyes had arrived.  Since they'd arrived early, the surgery had been moved ahead to the next morning; something for which Tess was grateful.  The sooner this was all over, the sooner her life could settle back into something that resembled normal.

   It was getting late; near ten o'clock.  The children were in bed and Sands had followed their example after agreeing to move the date of the surgery up.  With Jessica out of the house, Tess and Logan were left sitting up at the kitchen table, and Tess was quickly loosing the ability to stay awake.  "Was there anything else you needed to talk to me about?"

   "Well . . . actually," Tess felt her heart sink as Logan stalled.  "Umm . . . yes.  Yes, there was."  She watched him get up from the table and go into the foyer.  The click of a briefcase opening reached her ears, and then he was back with a large manila envelope in his hands.  "Remember that time a few years ago when we all met up in Tijuana?"

   "Yes, although I'm surprised any of the rest of you do."  Logan, Jessica, and Inge had all come down to visit her, and they had all gotten very drunk.  Except for Tess, who wasn't allowed to have alcohol.  "What does that have to do with anything?"

   "Remember how we were talking, and you mentioned that you'd like to know who your mother was?"

   Oh.  That.  Squashing the anxiety rising up in her, Tess said, "Well, I think I was talking more along the lines of wondering what kind of mother gives up her child."  The comment was meant to be offhanded, but it didn't come out that way.  Trying again, Tess tried to joke, "Don't tell me you tried to track her down."  The joke fell flat when Logan simply looked at the envelope he was holding.  "Logan . . . ."

   "Well, I didn't exactly find her, but the man I hired did find several documents.  A contract or two, a death certificate, and . . . and your birth certificate."  Logan handed the package over to Tess, regretting the numbed look that was taking over her face.  "I haven't opened anything."

   "Thank you for that much, at least," she whispered.  "This really wasn't necessary, Logues."  The package was heavy, and she played with the flap.  She didn't want to, but she knew she was going to open up the envelope and look at the contents anyway.

   "Do you want me to leave?"

   "Umm . . . no.  That's alright.  You've gone through a lot of trouble to do this.  There can't be anything too incriminating in here."  Tess took a deep breath and opened the envelope with trembling hands.  I can do this.  I need to do this.  I need to know if . . . . She needed to know if her mother had ever been sent to the loony bin.  Needed to see her birth certificate.

   Logan watched as Tess dug through the large manila envelope, searching for something.  She pulled out a piece of paper, and as she read it, her pale face turned white.  The paper slipped from her hands and skimmed across the table to where he was sitting.  Picking it up, Logan found that it was Tessa's birth certificate.  Teresa Adame . . . Barillo?  That name had been in the news lately.  There had been an Armando Barillo killed in Culíacan last month.  It was reported that he was a major drug kingpin, and that he'd died while supporting a military coup.

   "He lied.  He lied to me for thirty years."  All the times he'd told her that she hadn't had a last name because she was a bastard and bastards didn't have last names.  Every time she' blushed because she'd had to use her middle name as her last one.  Every time Ajedrez had delighted in taunting her over her lack of a family name.  Señorita sin nombre, girl without a name.  "All these years I told myself it was a comfort to not be lumped together with the rest of my family . . . and now I find out it's all a lie.  I'm a Barillo.  I'm Teresa Adame . . . Barillo, illegitimate but claimed daughter of Armando Barillo."  She let out a bitter and disbelieving laugh as numbness continued to take over her body. 

   "T?"  Logan's voice broke through the fog surrounding her, causing it to break up enough for her to remember where she was, and who she was with, and what she was doing.  She looked at him.  "Are you alight?"

   The concern in his eyes helped to focus her mind even more.  As long as there was someone with her, she couldn't breakdown, and the urge to do so was quickly fading.  "No.  No, I'm not alright.  I'm stunned.  And in a bit I'm sure I'll be ashamed and furious and everything in between."  Tess looked up from the table.  "I . . . I'd like to go to bed."

   "Are you sure?"  Are you sure that you don't want me to stay?

   "Yes.  I just need time to absorb everything."  Tess rose from the table and walked to the front door, Logan following behind.  "I'm sure that I'll thank you for this one day, once I've had time to process everything.  That's going to have to wait a bit though.  We still have a few rough weeks ahead of us."  That's right.  Concentrate on Sands, deal with one urgent event before moving on to the next.  Give things time to settle before stirring them back up.  "I'll see you tomorrow."

   Sands went back into his room.

Tess didn't know how long she stayed standing in front of the closed front door before moving into the rest of the house.  It couldn't have been too long because Jessica hadn't come home yet.  Then again, in a neighborhood as safe as the one around here, her friend was likely to walk for another hour or so.

   Still trying to quiet her mind, Tess went into the living room and started picking up toys, putting away various cushions and coloring books, placing shoes along the wall where they wouldn't be tripped over.  She picked up all the trash and took it into the kitchen to throw away, and then she started wiping down already immaculate counters.  She cleaned as if the very act would clear the confusion from her mind.  On hands and knees she cleaned the floor.  Once that was spotless, she went into the laundry room and started folding laundry.  At half past eleven, Jessica came in.  Tess ignored her. 

   "I'm going to go outside for a bit.  You should get to bed."  Tess let Jessica leave without replying to her suggestion. 

   She's right.  You should get some sleep.

   Fine.  Tess dropped the shirt was trying to fold and left the laundry room.  She was too tired to argue with her voice and her emotions at the same time.

   As she walked past Sands' room to get to her own, a hand reached out of the darkness and pulled her into the room, closing and locking the door behind her.  Her voice giggled.  What made you think it was safe to discuss matters of family when you have an eavesdropper in your house, Teresa?  Tess closed her eyes in defeat and waited for Sands to do . . . whatever it was he was going to do.

   For long moments, nothing happened.  No sound was made except the sound of two pairs of lungs breathing.  Tess opened her eyes.  As she stood silently and let her eyes adjust to the darkness inside the room, she saw moonlight glinting off the metal barrel of a gun.  She gasped; Sands knew he had Tessa's full attention.

   "Give me one reason I shouldn't kill you."  His voice was dangerously smooth; idly curious but the threat in it was more than obvious.  The part of her mind that wasn't numbed by an overdose of shock compared it to a silk scarf being wrapped around her throat.  Sure, it felt nice, but sooner or later it was going to strangle the breath from her lungs.

   Tess stared at the barrel of the gun, watched as the moonlight caressed its length.  It was strange; her life was in very real danger, and yet all of this seemed unreal.  Wetting her lips, she whispered, "You'll wake the children."

   Sands growled and closed the distance between them faster than she would have thought possible.  She found herself pressed against the wall, Sands' left hand a manacle around her upper arm, his gun resting below her ear.  Tess remembered the day she'd found him and taken him home with her – she'd let him rest his gun against her collarbone then, too.  "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you in the same way I killed your bitch of a sister," he demanded.  She heard a click as he cocked the gun.  "Your family fucked me over.  Tell me why I shouldn't take that out on you."

   Why was he asking for another reason?  She'd already given one.  He should have either accepted it and let her leave or discarded it and killed her.  What was he searching for?  Was he actually looking for a reason not to kill her?  "I can't."

   "Damn you."  Sands threw the safety back on, then threw the gun towards the bed.  He didn't wait to hear if it would land or not.  Instead, he wrapped the hand that had been holding the gun around her neck.  Still she didn't fight.  The bitch stood as still as a statue, quivering under his touch, every muscle locked in place.  He tightened the pressure.  Still nothing.  "Fight."

   She couldn't fight . . . not when she might hurt him.  Not when she understood why he placed the blame at her feet.  That and deep down you know it is your fault.  You're the last Barillo.  You know that now.  The unpaid debts of all the rest fell to your shoulders.  He's right. 

   He is right.  "No."  The word escaped her mouth as a whisper.

   He hated the acceptance in her voice.  She wasn't supposed to be different.  She was supposed to be like them.  "Why not?"

   "You're right.  My . . . my father . . . my half-sister . . . they used you."  Her words said everything that had been lurking in the back of his head.  The master manipulator had been used.  The untouchable judge of character had made one fatal mistake.

   Tess stopped speaking as Sands' face came closer to hers.  His hand snapped up unexpectedly and cuffed the side of her head hard enough to make her ears ring.

   "Shut up."

   There was so much emotion behind the order.  Suddenly things began to click into place, and Tess was glad that he couldn't see her eyes.  "She was more to you than a corrupt agent, wasn't she?  Her betrayal hurt more than the rest.  What –"  Tess gasped as Sands' closed his hand tightly over her throat, making it difficult to breathe.

   "You really want to know?  Yes, I was fucking Ajedrez."  His voice was calmed and controlled, the raging emotion from earlier tamed.  For the first time, Tess started to fear where this might end.  "She was very good in bed.  Almost as good as she was at lying."

   "Revenge . . . ."  Tess just barely managed to get the word out without gasping for breath.

   "Are you asking if that's why I killed her, or if that's what I want from you?"  The hand on her arm let go; his body pressed against hers as her knees started to go limp from a lack of air.  Tess wondered why her voice was being so quiet.  "What are you offering, niña?"

   The pressure lessened, enough for Tess to wheeze a few breaths of air into her lungs.  Was she offering something?  Did she have anything left to give him?  You have yourself.  "Whatever you need."

   Was she offering him a pity fuck?  "Are all the women in your family whores?" he asked quietly in her ear.

   Tessa's thoughts slipped back seven years.  She'd been home all of a month, but it was her wedding day.  She didn't want to marry, but her Father had decreed that she would, just so he could ensure himself of the loyalty of one man.  Were all the women whores?  Her mother had been a prostitute who'd been lucky enough to get pregnant by a man who'd pay her well for the child . . . or at least that's what she'd always been told.  Ajedrez slept with the men her father wished to ensnare.  Were they all whores?  "Yes."

   Sands shrugged.  The hand that wasn't pinning her by the neck came up and brushed against the skin of her collarbone; it was soft, silky under his hand.  He touched her cheek – she flinched but her body didn't move otherwise.  No protest – no reason to stop.  Slowly Sands moved his hand over Tessa's face.

   She had semi-prominent cheekbones, a long nose, and a high forehead.  He could feel her breath rushing over the inside of his wrist in uncertain huffs.  This was a really bad time to get interested in her body, and she was an even worse person to even consider taking to bed, but Sands didn't really give a damn about those things.  Maybe it was the drugs; maybe he was nuts.  "What color are your eyes?"  He didn't know why he needed to know – he just did.

   "They're blue."  Like my father's.  But it's best that you didn't know that.  Tess bit her lip as hands started to roam over her body.  The memories from the last time she'd been in this position threatened to overwhelm her.

   "Do you like that?"  Sands doubted it, but he couldn't help tormenting her.  Her fucking family had played with him – he didn't mind having her under his thumb.  He'd gladly play the cat to her willing mouse.

   "No."

   "Then why don't you run?  Fight?  Scream?"

   "Because I'm used to this."  She gasped as his hand grew rough.  "And I don't want to hurt you."

   You really are a bastard, Sands.  After all she's done for you, you're going to rape her for her pains?

   She's not arguing.  Why are you?

   She thinks you're no better than her family.  You know enough from listening to her nightmares that she was nothing more than a slave.  An object.  You're treating her the way they did. 

   She's never said anything like that.

   His conscience or whatever proved him wrong as Tessa's voice softly chimed in his memory: "I was brought up among the ranks of henchmen to be a doctor . . . Ajedrez' personal medical slave if you will." 

   They were both silent as a moment as Sands continued his punishing exploration.  Finally, his other side spoke up again.  She doesn't fight you because she never fought them.  Yeah, they may have fucked you over, but at least you chose to play the game and you had a chance to fight.  She's had neither – but she's cleaning up after them anyway.

   It's still her choice.

   Is it?  Touch her face.  

   Sands hesitated, but eventually moved his hand back to her face.  His fingers found moistness on her cheeks.  Tears.  She'd cleaned blood off his face.  She'd shed tears over him.  Now she was silently crying because of him.  Damn you.  Sands abruptly let go of Tess, and she fell to her knees on the carpet.  "Get out."

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Quotes:  Quotes for this chapter come from Byron, Saki, Roger Price, Kim Philby, and Robert Frost

Author Thanks:  so many thanks.  First to Ashley, my lovely beta, who gets stuff to me under incredible pressure so I can give in to you guys.  ; )  Girl, you are the best.  Next to Merrie, who didn't 'review' per se, but who tells me what she thinks every night on IM, so I suppose you're excused this time.  ;)

Now, thanks to: TaraRose (hope this meets your expectations); The Flaming Chia Pet (it's so nice to know that I have your support.  ^_^  Although . . . perhaps you need to take a break if you're getting this attached to it.  *grins and ducks what Chia throws at me*); Pixy (that was so great . . . I know exactly where I'm going to use that little gem you sent me.  It'll be someways down the road, but I'll get to it.); Blank (again, thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow quote-wise.  ^_^); Satisdee (no, I didn't intend for anything to be 'hot' – I'm trying to save that for the next story.  Glad you liked it though.)

And lastly, to all the new reviewers I got this chapter: TheScarlettWeasel (thank you so much for all the quotes); Isola (ok, I seem to remember getting quotes from you, but I think I accidentally deleted the e-mail after pasting the quotes to my file for that, so I can't be sure.  But thanks for them if you did get some to me.  ^_^); CaptainJackSparrowsGirl; Unimaganitve Pseudonym (you are too good to me, really.  I love the quotes.); and Aleksandra (also, thank you for the quotes.  They were all really great.)

You guys really are the best reviewers.  At the rate you're sending in quotes for me, this story will be equally written by you guys.  ^_^