CHAPTER THREE
And my question to you is:
How did this come to pass?
How did this one life fall so far and fast? Suzanne Vega - Blood Sings
Angel sat on the inside steps of the large Queen Anne home that now housed Angel Investigations. Wesley lived up on the second and third floor of the spacious home. No one had the heart to go back to the hotel once it was cleaned. Angel only lived in the world, working to help others, because of Wes and Faith's constant prodding. He would have been content to return to his life as it was before Whistler had disrupted everything by pointing out Buffy to him.
Wes was his only link to Connor. Angel no longer had a phone or even a home. He had gone backwards in his lifestyle. He wasn't on the streets draining rats but he was holed up in a large crypt. He'd forget to eat until the hunger tore at him like a living thing. He knew punishing himself benefitted no one but he couldn't seem to help himself.
Wes kept after Angel to move into his home. The basement was roomy enough but Angel didn't want company. He was half shocked that Faith had lived with Wes as a roommate, as opposed to a lover, at least for a little while. She had moved out once she felt secure enough in her freedom and lived with Kate Lockley who had joined Angel Investigations. Kate's renewed presence in his life stunned Angel.
Kate had approached Wes at Cordelia's funeral to express her condolences. Later, she tracked Wes down just to talk. Kate had run all the way to Wisconsin after things had gone bad for her. She regained her sense of self, lost her will to die, sobered up and had come back to Los Angeles. She had wanted to stay away from the weirdness but it wouldn't keep its distance from her, not even in America's Dairyland. She shared tales of windingos and carnivorous kangaroos.
Angel didn't interact much with any of them. He had no interest in their work, feeling dead inside. He left Wes and Faith, and now Kate, to carry on Cordelia's creation, bolstered by the addition of Kate's agency, thought many of Kate's detectives jumped ship when Angel Investigations added too much freakiness to their lives. His heart wasn't in it. All he did was the dangerous stuff that they couldn't and only because he had to. He owed it to Cordelia, Gunn and Fred.
What really hurt was that the team ran smoothly, almost too smoothly. There wasn't the constant susurrus of bickering and in-fighting that had always plagued his former makeshift family. He didn't know if that meant this team was better or maybe everyone was just so raw they were going out of their way to get along and work hard. Angel understand that last bit. If they kept working, they could keep their loss pushed to the back of their hearts where it hurt less.
Faith came over to him, reaching through the railing to pat his foot. "Kate and I are going to check out a lead on that ghoul sighting over at the Cat N' Fiddle Pub."
"Kate, can you handle that alone? Maybe we should wait on it," Angel said. He didn't want tp risk Kate but he also didn't want her around for this talk so he was hoping this lead would be something she could handle on her own.
"What's up?" Kate gave him a curious look.
"Just a little something dealing with Faith." Angel didn't meet Kate's eyes. He hated lying to her but she still didn't know what had happened with Connor. Angel thought she might have her suspicions since she was the one to call them when Cordelia's pregnancy revealed horrors on the autopsy table.
"No problem. I can question a few scumbag humans on my own," Kate said, then off Angel's worried look, "I'll be careful."
"Thanks Kate."
Faith waited until Kate was gone before asking, "What's wrong, Angel? You've been acting weird ever since you talked to Connor last night.or should I say, more weird?"
Angel let that pass. "I'll tell you as soon as he gets here."
Faith tossed her hair back, a hint of hunger flashing across her face. "He who?"
A knock on the door answered Faith. She opened it and saw Lorne standing there, a dour look on his green face. She stepped aside and let him in. She looked a bit disappointed that it wasn't more promising male company.
"Hey, Lorne." She cast an uneasy glance between him and Angel.
He managed a sight smile for her. "Hello Faith, Wes." His vividly colored eyes fixed on Angel and the temperature of his voice went arctic as he added, "Angel." "It's good to see you, Lorne. Please, have a seat." Wes gestured to the overstuffed couch in front of the ornate fireplace in the living room cum waiting area.
"Can I ask why you wanted me to come here?" Lorne sat, tossing a cold look at Angel who forced himself to sit in a wing-backed chair. He didn't need to pace the room, intimidating everyone.
Angel didn't begrudge Lorne his hostilities. Lorne hadn't forgiven him for shielding Connor. He had expected the demon to maybe go back to Los Vegas or head to New York City after the funerals but instead he was setting up Caritas once again. He knew Lorne spoke to Wes and Faith regularly but not to him.
"Lorne, this isn't going to be easy." Angel shoved his hands in his pockets, not looking at his one time friend.
"I already don't like this," Lorne interrupted.
"I spoke to Connor." Angel ignored Lorne. "He remembered that night."
Faith and Lorne's eyes widened. Angel and Wes had kept the secret all day. Angel could see the questions knocking at their lips to get out.
"So you called me here to tell me the little killer remembered cutting my head off." Lorne's words hit like acid.
Angel took a deep breath, dragging his hands out of his pockets. He spun the ring he wore round and round nervously. "Actually he doesn't remember attacking anyone other than Cordy."
"What does he remember?" Faith perched on the sturdy slate coffee table, staring up at Angel.
"Cordelia attacking him first, trying to kill him," Angel said simply. For a moment there was complete silence except for Faith's surprised gulp of air.
"And you bought that?" Lorne's eyes bugged. "Angel, you aren't this stupid. He's just trying to make us feel sorry for him."
"Lorne, you did say that you heard Cordelia telling Connor she wished she had her power so she could kick his ass," Wesley reminded him.
"Yes, because Connor was trying to hurt her." Lorne waved the slim one-time Watcher off.
"Is that what you heard, Lorne, or what you assumed?" Angel stared at the demon.
Lorne opened his mouth, smartassed response on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed it. He averted his eyes. "I don't.I don't know."
"Try to remember exactly what you heard, Lorne. I know this doesn't change things. But if we could learn what caused all of this," Angel trailed off, looking at his big hands. He wanted desperately to do something with them but he didn't know what.
"What? It'll give us some peace?" Lorne sneered.
"It can't hurt." Faith shrugged. She had been more than willing to extend forgiveness and understanding to Connor. She knew what Angel and Wes' forgiving her had done for her psyche.
"On the phone, Connor told me she had a knife. We found a knife under the desk. I need to know why Cordy had it, Lorne. We assumed she was protecting herself from Connor. What if she was the one who went after him?" Angel's dark eyes bore into the Pylean.
Lorne scrubbed a hand over his chin. "I didn't hear much. Like I said I was asleep when the shouting woke me." He paused, his brow wrinkling. "I thought it was all a dream until I heard Cordy's scream and that terrible crack.when her head hit the desk." Lorne wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. "Connor did say something about dropping a knife. Before that Cordy was saying she'd cut out his heart and tell you the Beast got him."
Angel came across the table at Lorne but Faith caught him and hurled him back. He spun away from all of them, pacing over to the huge, impractical windows. "Why in the hell didn't you ever tell us that? It's been a year, Lorne. You never once thought to tell me Cordy threatened to kill my son?"
"I thought it was a dream, Angel. The screaming woke me from a dead sleep. I thought it was a nightmare from all the stress and Beast stuff," Lorne said defensively.
"You still should have told me," Angel growled. "Lorne, do you remember anything else?" Wesley asked quietly, hoping to derail Angel's rage. "Anything that you might have thought was a dream then but upon reflection it might not have been?"
Lorne shook his head. "No.maybe something about handling us. But it doesn't make any sense. It had to be a nightmare. Look, Angel, I wish I could tell you more, really. I can't forgive the kid for what he did to me even if it's not all his fault. Maybe he did lose his mind that night. I'm sure that's a foregone conclusion at this point since he can't be that good of an actor. But." Lorne let his thoughts go to vapor.
"But what?" Faith prompted, now on her feet, keeping herself between the pacing Angel and Lorne.
"There was something very odd about that night before all the ugliness. I was worried sick about you all going up against the Beast and yet I couldn't stay awake."
"You mentioned feeling odd about that before," Wesley said.
Lorne nodded, a contemplative look settling on his face as if he was finally allowing himself to put the puzzle pieces together. "Cordy made me a Sea Breeze to settle my nerves and the next thing I know I can't keep my eyes open."
"Are you saying Cordelia drugged you?" Angel paused in front of the fireplace and the immense mirror above it. It had come with the house and Angel hated it. He knew it was disconcerting for everyone.
"I wrote it off as a strange coincidence but nothing like that has ever happened to me before. If Cordy tried to kill Connor, it could be she tried to take me out of the picture, to 'handle us.' But why?" Lorne asked.
"I don't know." Angel let his head rest back against the marble mantle piece. "If Cordy drugged you and wanted her powers to kill my son then we're left with more questions than answers."
"Like what does it all mean? Why would Cordelia want to harm any of us?" Wes's face reflected the disturbed pain they were all feeling.
"You told me back then that you thought the Beast had someone controlling it, that it was just the muscle. Angelus remembered that much," Faith said. "I hate saying it but-" "No," Angel snapped. "Cordelia couldn't have been the Beast's master. It makes no sense."
"Well, none of this does. If Lorne really did hear that stuff, then Connor was the one protecting himself, not Cordy," Faith shot back.
"He really did love her," Wesley put in. "Accidentally killing her shattered him and the rest.I'm not sure we can blame him for it, being in the fugue he was in. I spoke to Connor last night as well. He convinced me his memories are true. Lorne, you said that night Connor might have interpreted you trying to get a weapon to protect yourself from him as an attack. If Cordelia had already tried killing him, there's no telling what was going through his mind when he attacked you."
"Maybe not and it doesn't really matter now, does it? She's dead. Gunn and Fred are dead and so is the Beast." Lorne got up. "Maybe these aren't bones you should be digging up, Angel. You may not like what you uncover."
"I don't have a choice. Connor is doing the digging. He has to if he wants to get well." Angel took a deep breath. "But the truth is not going to set us free, is it?"
Wesley wagged his head. "No."
Lorne straightened his goldenrod jacket. "If I remember anything else, Angel, I'll tell you. Caritas opens this weekend. The best table in the house is reserved for you." He met Angel's eyes. "All of you."
The vampire nodded. "We'll be there. And Lorne, I am sorry."
The demon looked away again. "I know this is hard on you, Angel. I know that you lost loved ones that night, too, but I'm still not convinced not holding Connor responsible is the right thing to have done."
"I know but I am." Angel's tone warned against more arguing. "Dr. Savage agreed. Connor would have been put in a mental hospital maybe for the rest of his life or until he freaked out and with his strength accidentally killed someone else. I did what I thought was best and I'm not going to apologize for it."
Lorne looked at Angel sadly then showed himself out the door.
Wes put a hand on Angel's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do, Angel?"
"Just handle business like always." Angel shrugged him off. "I need to be alone."
Angel headed out into the courtyard. It was tidy and completely British in its gardens. He knew Wesley was the one attending to it as a hobby to relax him. He appreciated the effort. It made him feel calm. He sat on a bench near a eucalyptus tree and stared up at the stars. He heard Faith coming out the door before he smelled her perfume. He knew yelling at her to go away wasn't likely to work. She pushed onto the bench with him.
"I really do want to be alone, Faith."
"We don't always get what we want." She cocked her head up to star gaze with him. "Are you going to let it drop here or are you going to dig into what Cordelia might have or not have done?"
"I don't know yet. I can't help thinking if I don't, and if whatever was controlling the Beast wasn't Cordy, it'll still be out there. I know it won't bring anyone back and we couldn't tell their families even if we learn anything. They're content that it was a maniac who killed our friends and that he's dead, too. I want it to stay that way as far as they're concerned." Angel shuddered slightly as remembering that night tormented him. He would never be able to forget he had pretended to kill his friends and let himself be shot by the cops just so the case would be closed. The smells of the morgue still seemed fresh in his nose.
"I get that. And I know Wes has been looking into whoever might have been controlling the Beast ever since it happened. He never learned much but then again he never even considered it might be Cordy," Faith said.
"And maybe he shouldn't." Angel sighed. "I just wish there was some easy answers for a change."
"I hear that." Faith clamped a hand on his knee. "So, what else did the little hottie have to say?"
Angel snorted. "I wish you wouldn't call him that."
"Why not? It's true. Like father, like son." She flashed him her best seductive grin.
Angel fought to ignore her flirtation. "From what Giles has told me, that's Connor's number one most hated cliché." Angel managed a wan smile. "He was too upset to tell me much other than what he remembered. Giles said Connor's doing really good with his studies and that he's having fun hanging out with Saeth's nieces and nephews. Saeth mentioned something about Connor going with her to blacksmith at a Renaissance Faire, whatever that means."
Faith laughed. "It means she's dressing your kid like a dork and letting him hang with the other geeks." "If he likes it, I don't really care. He's doing normal things, Faith, probably for the first time in his life."
"And no big bads to mess it up."
Angel shook his head. "I didn't say that. Saeth, Savage and Giles are all Watchers. There are problems enough with helping to rebuild the Council. And Saeth said there are bad things afoot in Wales. She mentioned something about a mage that's been a thorn in their sides for twenty years now. I guess he's made a reappearance but I can't worry too much about that. I know Connor is in good hands. He'll never be completely normal, this ugliness will always be a part of his life."
"Normal's overrated anyhow." Faith got up. "Just don't mope out here too long. I'm going to go catch up with Kate."
"Be careful," Angel said, "And thanks, Faith."
"Any time."
Angel watched her saunter off. Maybe he should talk to Savage about coming to Wales for a visit. It sounded like Connor might finally be ready for that. Maybe seeing him would help Connor remember more about that night. Or maybe it would just make him worse. Either way, he'd bring it up to the psychiatrist the next time they spoke. He wanted answers even if he was bound to hate them.
How did this come to pass?
How did this one life fall so far and fast? Suzanne Vega - Blood Sings
Angel sat on the inside steps of the large Queen Anne home that now housed Angel Investigations. Wesley lived up on the second and third floor of the spacious home. No one had the heart to go back to the hotel once it was cleaned. Angel only lived in the world, working to help others, because of Wes and Faith's constant prodding. He would have been content to return to his life as it was before Whistler had disrupted everything by pointing out Buffy to him.
Wes was his only link to Connor. Angel no longer had a phone or even a home. He had gone backwards in his lifestyle. He wasn't on the streets draining rats but he was holed up in a large crypt. He'd forget to eat until the hunger tore at him like a living thing. He knew punishing himself benefitted no one but he couldn't seem to help himself.
Wes kept after Angel to move into his home. The basement was roomy enough but Angel didn't want company. He was half shocked that Faith had lived with Wes as a roommate, as opposed to a lover, at least for a little while. She had moved out once she felt secure enough in her freedom and lived with Kate Lockley who had joined Angel Investigations. Kate's renewed presence in his life stunned Angel.
Kate had approached Wes at Cordelia's funeral to express her condolences. Later, she tracked Wes down just to talk. Kate had run all the way to Wisconsin after things had gone bad for her. She regained her sense of self, lost her will to die, sobered up and had come back to Los Angeles. She had wanted to stay away from the weirdness but it wouldn't keep its distance from her, not even in America's Dairyland. She shared tales of windingos and carnivorous kangaroos.
Angel didn't interact much with any of them. He had no interest in their work, feeling dead inside. He left Wes and Faith, and now Kate, to carry on Cordelia's creation, bolstered by the addition of Kate's agency, thought many of Kate's detectives jumped ship when Angel Investigations added too much freakiness to their lives. His heart wasn't in it. All he did was the dangerous stuff that they couldn't and only because he had to. He owed it to Cordelia, Gunn and Fred.
What really hurt was that the team ran smoothly, almost too smoothly. There wasn't the constant susurrus of bickering and in-fighting that had always plagued his former makeshift family. He didn't know if that meant this team was better or maybe everyone was just so raw they were going out of their way to get along and work hard. Angel understand that last bit. If they kept working, they could keep their loss pushed to the back of their hearts where it hurt less.
Faith came over to him, reaching through the railing to pat his foot. "Kate and I are going to check out a lead on that ghoul sighting over at the Cat N' Fiddle Pub."
"Kate, can you handle that alone? Maybe we should wait on it," Angel said. He didn't want tp risk Kate but he also didn't want her around for this talk so he was hoping this lead would be something she could handle on her own.
"What's up?" Kate gave him a curious look.
"Just a little something dealing with Faith." Angel didn't meet Kate's eyes. He hated lying to her but she still didn't know what had happened with Connor. Angel thought she might have her suspicions since she was the one to call them when Cordelia's pregnancy revealed horrors on the autopsy table.
"No problem. I can question a few scumbag humans on my own," Kate said, then off Angel's worried look, "I'll be careful."
"Thanks Kate."
Faith waited until Kate was gone before asking, "What's wrong, Angel? You've been acting weird ever since you talked to Connor last night.or should I say, more weird?"
Angel let that pass. "I'll tell you as soon as he gets here."
Faith tossed her hair back, a hint of hunger flashing across her face. "He who?"
A knock on the door answered Faith. She opened it and saw Lorne standing there, a dour look on his green face. She stepped aside and let him in. She looked a bit disappointed that it wasn't more promising male company.
"Hey, Lorne." She cast an uneasy glance between him and Angel.
He managed a sight smile for her. "Hello Faith, Wes." His vividly colored eyes fixed on Angel and the temperature of his voice went arctic as he added, "Angel." "It's good to see you, Lorne. Please, have a seat." Wes gestured to the overstuffed couch in front of the ornate fireplace in the living room cum waiting area.
"Can I ask why you wanted me to come here?" Lorne sat, tossing a cold look at Angel who forced himself to sit in a wing-backed chair. He didn't need to pace the room, intimidating everyone.
Angel didn't begrudge Lorne his hostilities. Lorne hadn't forgiven him for shielding Connor. He had expected the demon to maybe go back to Los Vegas or head to New York City after the funerals but instead he was setting up Caritas once again. He knew Lorne spoke to Wes and Faith regularly but not to him.
"Lorne, this isn't going to be easy." Angel shoved his hands in his pockets, not looking at his one time friend.
"I already don't like this," Lorne interrupted.
"I spoke to Connor." Angel ignored Lorne. "He remembered that night."
Faith and Lorne's eyes widened. Angel and Wes had kept the secret all day. Angel could see the questions knocking at their lips to get out.
"So you called me here to tell me the little killer remembered cutting my head off." Lorne's words hit like acid.
Angel took a deep breath, dragging his hands out of his pockets. He spun the ring he wore round and round nervously. "Actually he doesn't remember attacking anyone other than Cordy."
"What does he remember?" Faith perched on the sturdy slate coffee table, staring up at Angel.
"Cordelia attacking him first, trying to kill him," Angel said simply. For a moment there was complete silence except for Faith's surprised gulp of air.
"And you bought that?" Lorne's eyes bugged. "Angel, you aren't this stupid. He's just trying to make us feel sorry for him."
"Lorne, you did say that you heard Cordelia telling Connor she wished she had her power so she could kick his ass," Wesley reminded him.
"Yes, because Connor was trying to hurt her." Lorne waved the slim one-time Watcher off.
"Is that what you heard, Lorne, or what you assumed?" Angel stared at the demon.
Lorne opened his mouth, smartassed response on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed it. He averted his eyes. "I don't.I don't know."
"Try to remember exactly what you heard, Lorne. I know this doesn't change things. But if we could learn what caused all of this," Angel trailed off, looking at his big hands. He wanted desperately to do something with them but he didn't know what.
"What? It'll give us some peace?" Lorne sneered.
"It can't hurt." Faith shrugged. She had been more than willing to extend forgiveness and understanding to Connor. She knew what Angel and Wes' forgiving her had done for her psyche.
"On the phone, Connor told me she had a knife. We found a knife under the desk. I need to know why Cordy had it, Lorne. We assumed she was protecting herself from Connor. What if she was the one who went after him?" Angel's dark eyes bore into the Pylean.
Lorne scrubbed a hand over his chin. "I didn't hear much. Like I said I was asleep when the shouting woke me." He paused, his brow wrinkling. "I thought it was all a dream until I heard Cordy's scream and that terrible crack.when her head hit the desk." Lorne wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. "Connor did say something about dropping a knife. Before that Cordy was saying she'd cut out his heart and tell you the Beast got him."
Angel came across the table at Lorne but Faith caught him and hurled him back. He spun away from all of them, pacing over to the huge, impractical windows. "Why in the hell didn't you ever tell us that? It's been a year, Lorne. You never once thought to tell me Cordy threatened to kill my son?"
"I thought it was a dream, Angel. The screaming woke me from a dead sleep. I thought it was a nightmare from all the stress and Beast stuff," Lorne said defensively.
"You still should have told me," Angel growled. "Lorne, do you remember anything else?" Wesley asked quietly, hoping to derail Angel's rage. "Anything that you might have thought was a dream then but upon reflection it might not have been?"
Lorne shook his head. "No.maybe something about handling us. But it doesn't make any sense. It had to be a nightmare. Look, Angel, I wish I could tell you more, really. I can't forgive the kid for what he did to me even if it's not all his fault. Maybe he did lose his mind that night. I'm sure that's a foregone conclusion at this point since he can't be that good of an actor. But." Lorne let his thoughts go to vapor.
"But what?" Faith prompted, now on her feet, keeping herself between the pacing Angel and Lorne.
"There was something very odd about that night before all the ugliness. I was worried sick about you all going up against the Beast and yet I couldn't stay awake."
"You mentioned feeling odd about that before," Wesley said.
Lorne nodded, a contemplative look settling on his face as if he was finally allowing himself to put the puzzle pieces together. "Cordy made me a Sea Breeze to settle my nerves and the next thing I know I can't keep my eyes open."
"Are you saying Cordelia drugged you?" Angel paused in front of the fireplace and the immense mirror above it. It had come with the house and Angel hated it. He knew it was disconcerting for everyone.
"I wrote it off as a strange coincidence but nothing like that has ever happened to me before. If Cordy tried to kill Connor, it could be she tried to take me out of the picture, to 'handle us.' But why?" Lorne asked.
"I don't know." Angel let his head rest back against the marble mantle piece. "If Cordy drugged you and wanted her powers to kill my son then we're left with more questions than answers."
"Like what does it all mean? Why would Cordelia want to harm any of us?" Wes's face reflected the disturbed pain they were all feeling.
"You told me back then that you thought the Beast had someone controlling it, that it was just the muscle. Angelus remembered that much," Faith said. "I hate saying it but-" "No," Angel snapped. "Cordelia couldn't have been the Beast's master. It makes no sense."
"Well, none of this does. If Lorne really did hear that stuff, then Connor was the one protecting himself, not Cordy," Faith shot back.
"He really did love her," Wesley put in. "Accidentally killing her shattered him and the rest.I'm not sure we can blame him for it, being in the fugue he was in. I spoke to Connor last night as well. He convinced me his memories are true. Lorne, you said that night Connor might have interpreted you trying to get a weapon to protect yourself from him as an attack. If Cordelia had already tried killing him, there's no telling what was going through his mind when he attacked you."
"Maybe not and it doesn't really matter now, does it? She's dead. Gunn and Fred are dead and so is the Beast." Lorne got up. "Maybe these aren't bones you should be digging up, Angel. You may not like what you uncover."
"I don't have a choice. Connor is doing the digging. He has to if he wants to get well." Angel took a deep breath. "But the truth is not going to set us free, is it?"
Wesley wagged his head. "No."
Lorne straightened his goldenrod jacket. "If I remember anything else, Angel, I'll tell you. Caritas opens this weekend. The best table in the house is reserved for you." He met Angel's eyes. "All of you."
The vampire nodded. "We'll be there. And Lorne, I am sorry."
The demon looked away again. "I know this is hard on you, Angel. I know that you lost loved ones that night, too, but I'm still not convinced not holding Connor responsible is the right thing to have done."
"I know but I am." Angel's tone warned against more arguing. "Dr. Savage agreed. Connor would have been put in a mental hospital maybe for the rest of his life or until he freaked out and with his strength accidentally killed someone else. I did what I thought was best and I'm not going to apologize for it."
Lorne looked at Angel sadly then showed himself out the door.
Wes put a hand on Angel's shoulder. "Is there anything I can do, Angel?"
"Just handle business like always." Angel shrugged him off. "I need to be alone."
Angel headed out into the courtyard. It was tidy and completely British in its gardens. He knew Wesley was the one attending to it as a hobby to relax him. He appreciated the effort. It made him feel calm. He sat on a bench near a eucalyptus tree and stared up at the stars. He heard Faith coming out the door before he smelled her perfume. He knew yelling at her to go away wasn't likely to work. She pushed onto the bench with him.
"I really do want to be alone, Faith."
"We don't always get what we want." She cocked her head up to star gaze with him. "Are you going to let it drop here or are you going to dig into what Cordelia might have or not have done?"
"I don't know yet. I can't help thinking if I don't, and if whatever was controlling the Beast wasn't Cordy, it'll still be out there. I know it won't bring anyone back and we couldn't tell their families even if we learn anything. They're content that it was a maniac who killed our friends and that he's dead, too. I want it to stay that way as far as they're concerned." Angel shuddered slightly as remembering that night tormented him. He would never be able to forget he had pretended to kill his friends and let himself be shot by the cops just so the case would be closed. The smells of the morgue still seemed fresh in his nose.
"I get that. And I know Wes has been looking into whoever might have been controlling the Beast ever since it happened. He never learned much but then again he never even considered it might be Cordy," Faith said.
"And maybe he shouldn't." Angel sighed. "I just wish there was some easy answers for a change."
"I hear that." Faith clamped a hand on his knee. "So, what else did the little hottie have to say?"
Angel snorted. "I wish you wouldn't call him that."
"Why not? It's true. Like father, like son." She flashed him her best seductive grin.
Angel fought to ignore her flirtation. "From what Giles has told me, that's Connor's number one most hated cliché." Angel managed a wan smile. "He was too upset to tell me much other than what he remembered. Giles said Connor's doing really good with his studies and that he's having fun hanging out with Saeth's nieces and nephews. Saeth mentioned something about Connor going with her to blacksmith at a Renaissance Faire, whatever that means."
Faith laughed. "It means she's dressing your kid like a dork and letting him hang with the other geeks." "If he likes it, I don't really care. He's doing normal things, Faith, probably for the first time in his life."
"And no big bads to mess it up."
Angel shook his head. "I didn't say that. Saeth, Savage and Giles are all Watchers. There are problems enough with helping to rebuild the Council. And Saeth said there are bad things afoot in Wales. She mentioned something about a mage that's been a thorn in their sides for twenty years now. I guess he's made a reappearance but I can't worry too much about that. I know Connor is in good hands. He'll never be completely normal, this ugliness will always be a part of his life."
"Normal's overrated anyhow." Faith got up. "Just don't mope out here too long. I'm going to go catch up with Kate."
"Be careful," Angel said, "And thanks, Faith."
"Any time."
Angel watched her saunter off. Maybe he should talk to Savage about coming to Wales for a visit. It sounded like Connor might finally be ready for that. Maybe seeing him would help Connor remember more about that night. Or maybe it would just make him worse. Either way, he'd bring it up to the psychiatrist the next time they spoke. He wanted answers even if he was bound to hate them.
