NOTHING MORE TO SAY
By Starflower Sakura
DISCLAIMER: Seriously, how many times do I have to repeat this? I DO NOT OWN YU-GI-OH!
To readers/reviewers: Yes, this is a new fic by yours truly... again. This is unlike all my other ones, has angst! Sweet, sweet angst! Wait... angst isn't sweet. You get the idea, don't you? I like the idea. I don't think this story really has that much angst anyways. I couldn't bear to make Ryou suffer that much... This story has some Bakura/Marik, but it's mostly Bakura/Ryou.
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NOTHING MORE TO SAY
CHAPTER 1 - AN UNHEARD GOODBYE
I walked out of the house and into the night. I didn't even turn to take a last look at what I once called home, knowing that it wouldn't change my mind either way. I was leaving everything I knew behind... including mou hitori no boku.
I laughed silently to myself. I haven't called him that for a long time, not since he acquired his own body. Now, I call him Bakura or yami. Why? Well... why not?
I had thought about this for a while. I finally decided that I couldn't stay here anymore. Not when Bakura is always ignoring my presence. Not when his boyfriend of half a year, Marik, is always coming over. And especially not when my heart is breaking more and more over the long periods of time I have to spend inside that house!
I was useless to Bakura. I know that and he has more than once told me that. I could never do anything right. I could never do anything that was good enough for his approval. I could never give him anything that was worth his while. Nothing. But tonight, that's all going to change. How you may ask. That's quite a simple question if you were me. I'm going to give him what he's always wanted. What everybody wanted. The one thing that would make all of them happy.
Their riddance of me.
You may be gasping, and thinking that I'm going to commit suicide for that is extremely common when one wants to rid oneself. Being the useless and weak hikari that Bakura has made me see I am, I'm too scared to commit suicide. Some may call it bravery, though. Some may see that I am strong by still having the will to live after all that's happened to me. Maybe they're right, or maybe they're wrong. Who knows?
Looking around, I found myself just across the street from the park where I usually spent my times nowadays. I sat down on one of the swings and gently swayed back and forth while I let my thoughts claim me.
The full moon was hanging high above me, and I slowly lifted my arm and tried to reach it. I froze and let my arm resume it's former position in holding the chain of the swing. I chided myself silently for even attempting such a silly thing. As if I could actually touch the moon like that. I looked up again and found that it wasn't quite that silly after all. The moon was so round and full that just looking up at it made it seem that it was just a few centimeters away from your reach.
I turned my attention away from the moon and let my attention get captured by the stars. It's amazing how something so little and far away can make you feel so insignificant. They sparkled and twinkled at me, and it seems like they are trying to confine in me the secrets of the universe. I strained to hear, but all I can hear is the song of the wind that plays lightly with my moon illuminated hair.
After staring for a few more minutes and just letting the many voices of Mother Nature wash over me like an ocean wave, I got up and walked out of the park. It was a peaceful night. If I closed my eyes and listened carefully once again, I'm sure that I would be able to hear the perfection of this night.
I laughed at myself. Maybe I'm losing my mind, but I had never really experienced such calm. I had never really thought much about the wind that brushes back the wisp of silver hair that hung unceremoniously across my face. I had never really seen how insignificant we are to this world of ours. I had never... until now.
I smiled a little as I checked the bag I was carrying with me. It contained necessary equipments to survive in the outside world, like clothing and food, of course. The most important thing in there, though, is my bankbook and my credit cards. I really don't have to worry about living in the streets. My father doesn't have time to come home anymore so he opened a bank account for me and gave me credit cards to spend. Every month he puts couple thousands into the account. Considering the fact that this started a couple years ago and I had only used a couple hundred dollars, I'd say I was still pretty loaded. Thank goodness I didn't tell my yami about it or it would be cleared in less than a minute and where would I be now?
I walked to the appointed place where I told them I would be. Who am I talking about? Well now, did you actually think I would leave without having everything all planned out? Well, I had my traveling ways planned out. I'm just not sure where I would end up or what I would do there. Anyways, back to the former topic of who "them" was. They are the people from the airport that is coming to pick me up, of course! How else do you think I would get there? Walk?
I didn't give them my address just in case Bakura or any of the neighbors noticed. I gave them an address to where I knew wasn't even remotely close to where I or any of my friends lived. I know this place very well, but I'm not going to tell you where it is. It's quite embarrassing for me so I would rather not tell. Maybe later, but definitely not now.
Waiting patiently for ten minutes the cab finally arrived. I sighed in relief. I had this creepy feeling that one of my friends would pop out of nowhere and interrogate me about where I was going so late at night. My more sensible part of mind told me that it isn't very likely to happen, but when you are doing something like running away and flying off to who-knows-where, you tend to get a bit jumpy.
I took a deep breath as I climbed in. I saw the driver look at me with a question in his eyes, but he knew that it was none of his business.
Although he didn't ask the question, I still heard him mumble, "Kids these days."
Oh yea? Well, you try living and falling in love with a 3000 year old Egyptian Tomb Robber, pal!
Uh-oh. He's looking at me weirdly. What's wrong?! What did I say? I don't remember saying anything to him!
"3000 year old Egyptian Tomb Robber? Kid's imaginations gets wilder and wilder by the minute."
I blinked repeatedly until I registered the fact that I had actually said it out for all to hear! Oh, for crying out loud! I laughed sheepishly and muttered an agreement and turned to face to window so he won't talk to me again.
The scenery blurred by, not that I can really make out anything in the dark. In an hour or so, stuck in a cab with nothing but the silence to comfort me, I had finally arrived at the airport. I looked at the flight times and tried to decide where I want to go. I bit my lower lip as I looked at all the places that they will be flying to.
Um. England? I think that'll be the first place they'll check if they can't find me in Domino. No way am I flying to Cairo. America? I could go there since I already know how to speak English. As I scanned across the list of flights, my eyes landed on one.
Hong Kong.
I felt satisfied with my decision. China really isn't that far from Japan, but surely they would never think of looking for me there. To think that I was actually despising the Chinese classes that I had to take back in England. Sure, it might be a bit rusty now, but I'm sure that I still got it! I tested out my Mandarin and Cantonese, and winced when I heard an unmistakable accent while testing out what I still knew how to say. Guess I would need to work hard on it. Ah well, there's nothing I can't do if I set my mind to it! Well... except getting Bakura to notice my presence and kicking Marik out of my house and GAH! Stop thinking about him, Ryou! You're leaving because of him! So forget him! Right this minute!
I sighed. Sometimes it's harder said then done. But he is the reason why I'm leaving. I frowned slightly, but only slightly, for Bakura once told me that frowning didn't suit me. ARGH!! Not again!!
Okay, Ryou, think of something else... something like your flight that is in the next fifteen minutes... FIFTEEN MINUTES?!! Oh no! I forgot to buy my ticket!! Why does it seem that nothing is going my way right now? I hurried to the line and waited, fidgeting with whatever inanimate objects that was close by. I felt myself ready to strangle to two people in front of me. Why?! Because they took practically five minutes arguing with the person behind the counter about something that I have no interest in.
When I FINALLY got my stupid ticket I realized that I only had three minutes till boarding. I rushed here and there, not really knowing where I was going, but surprisingly enough I made it onto the plane in time. I took a window seat and suddenly that weird feeling of expecting someone you know to pop up on you rose again. I couldn't help but feel jittery. I buckled up like they told us to and the plane started moving. When I was sure we were finally in the air, I took off the seatbelts and stared out the window. Tiny lights from the city below us met my gaze and I held back a breath of astonishment at how beautiful things can be up here.
Stifling a yawn, I figured that sleep would be best for me, and asked a passing air attendant to hand me a pillow. I rested my right arm on the armrest and then my newly gotten pillow on top of the arm. I laid my head down on the pillow and slipped my left arm under the pillow also. My silvery hair fell forwards, covering most of my face from the world and I didn't find the need to brush it back. I felt sleep starting to take it's toll with me when something, a memory, swept away the sleepiness right away. Although I wasn't going to sleep for quite a while, I stayed in that position as I began recalling that memory that fought it's way towards the surface of my mind.
It was three weeks ago. I remember coming home beaten up by school bullies and holding back the tears that was threatening to spill any minute...
Entering the door, I softly took off my shoes and placed them near the doorway for tomorrow morning. Tears haven't begun to fall yet, but I was hiccupping like mad. I carefully, and skillfully avoided Bakura and Marik if he was around. I took out an icepack and pressed it to the bruise that was forming on the side of my head.
"Ouch," I cried out.
"Ryou, are you there?"
I stiffened visibly and I turned away from the doorway and hid the icepack as best as I can.
"Um... yea, I'm here."
"What are you doing standing there?" he asked.
"I-I was... trying to look for something to eat."
"Well, look for something to eat later. I have something to show you."
"I'm really hungry, Bakura. Can't it wait until later?"
Or better yet, when these ugly bruises heal?
"No, I want to show it to you now."
I sighed as I followed him out into the living room, keeping my head low and trying to walk without limping although it was hurting a lot. My efforts were futile though for Bakura soon saw through my act.
"What's wrong?"
"N-nothing."
"Don't lie to me."
"I'm not, Bakura-sama. Nothing is wrong."
"Then look at me."
I froze. I can't let him see me. I can't! He'll probably do one of two things: 1) He'll go and kill the bullies or 2) He won't care. Him killing the bullies would make me feel guilty for life, but him not caring. well, I'm used to it. I knew Bakura wasn't one for patience but I wasn't expecting him to lift my head up just so he could see my face. I saw him scowl and I turned away, ashamed.
"Go clean yourself up and bring yourself back down here."
I did what he said and was back down in around twenty minutes if my calculations were correct. Once down, he tossed something at me that I barely caught. Looking at it, I saw that it was a medium sized box. I looked up at him, confused.
"Aren't you going to open it?"
"It's for me?" I asked, surprise definitely apparent in my voice.
"I gave it to you, didn't I?" he asked, his voice gruff. Probably from me asking too many questions.
I slowly slid open the cover and stared at what was inside. It was a teddy bear! Why Bakura would think of getting me such a thing is beyond me, but it was cute all the same!
"Thank you!"
He huffed out a reply and I smiled. He was about to go back upstairs when I, being ever-so-idiotic, blurted out a question without thinking.
"Will you always be there for me, Bakura?"
He turned to look at me and my eyes met his. And in his eyes I saw the answer...
How ironic, don't you think? I was the one who asked if he would always be there for me when it turns out that I'm the one who leaves. I, too, gave him a teddy bear before I left, though. Right before I left actually. I wonder if he found it yet
Well, I overhead these two girls talking about a shoujo manga called Cardcaptor Sakura and how the main boy character had to leave and they exchanged teddy bears. Being intrigued with what they were saying I skimmed through couple volumes myself and found out that if you tied a ribbon to the teddy bear and the person, most likely someone that you are in love with, names it after you then that person will return your love.
I thought that was an extremely cute thing that they thought up so I decided to make a teddy bear for Bakura. Kami-sama knows that it could actually do him some good. I mean, he's probably never received something like that at all! I'm not sure if he'll name it after me or not, or if he'll tie the ribbon that I left for him onto the bear, but at least I tried in this interesting superstition.
I, being in love with Bakura, did tie a ribbon to my teddy bear and you can all guess what I named it. Well. actually you can't! I didn't name it Bakura like you all were thinking, but I named it something that was my own personal nickname for him. I don't think he likes it that much, but he didn't disagree. I named my teddy bear Kurayami. It suits him perfectly and it means darkness. Can it suit him any more than that?
I took out the bear from my backpack and hugged it close. I found sleep overcoming me again and this time no distractions whatsoever. So I drifted off towards the land of dreams where reality turned into dreams, while dreams and wishes transformed into reality.
But before I fully drifted off, I murmured, "Goodbye Bakura..."
To be continued...
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I liked the first chapter! I found it cute! Didn't you? Or did you find it screwed up and you never want to read it again? Either way, please review! I would love to hear from you!
Any comments? Questions? Suggestions? Reviews? Email me at--- xstarflowerx@hotmail.com if you want to ask me anything!
~* Starflower Sakura *~
