Thanks for the reviews that prodded me into writing more. This fic started off as a one shot and is now three parts with a forth in development. I don't own any of the characters except for Namyia and her family. The lyrics are by Matchbox 20, the amazing song unwell. Keep the reviews coming!
~~~~~~~~
all day
staring at the ceiling making
friends with shadows on the walls
all night
i'm hearing voices tell me
that i should get some sleep
because tomorrow might be good
for something
hold on
i'm feeling like i'm headed for a
breakdown
i don't know why
~~~~~~~~
Omi tried to burn the images from his mind. He was sitting at the back of a small church, it seemed to be filled with weeping females. At the front, the tiny urn that contained the remnants of Namyia Katamoya. The priest was droning on and on, his dry voice talking about violence and young life taken to soon. Omi shivered inside the to large suit jacket he'd borrowed. He couldn't stop seeing her eyes. Schuldich sat beside him, a casual arm on Omis elbow. Omi shifted his gaze from the priest and swept it over the crowd. His hand tightened on the flowers they'd picked up somewhere along the way. There were two elderly women sitting in the front row, they both held identical bouquets of flowers, siblings to the ones he had clutched in his hands. The flowers he had selected carefully, and put together himself in what was a rival flower shop. The same flowers that Namyia had bought daily. His throat tightened and he fought back tears, seeing her dead face, but hearing her voice, obscene fully cheerful. 'ohaio Omi-san.' He shook his head and transferred his gaze to the ceiling. His head swam, he didn't fell rested, for all he'd slept for at least a few hours earlier that day. The side of his face burned as if he'd been slapped, even as he repeated over and over that it was just a dream.
Then the funeral was over and Omi was laying his flowers at the tiny memorial stone, his throat tight, his eyes sore and puffy from tears, filling up again even as he knelt. He laid his flowers with the two identical bouquet, and seeing the paper on them, knew that they had both come from his own shop.
Facing her family, he could not do anything more then bow his head respectfully when Schuldich introduced him. The older women both smiled tearfully at the mention of his name. He woodenly said that he was sorry, and moved away when Schuldich tugged on his sleeve. Schuldich said nothing as they moved to the van and headed back home, Nagi and Farfello sat in the back, hemming in Schuldich and Omi. The radio was playing pop music and it made Omi feel sick. The van slid smoothly to a staop and Omi, feeling dazed allowed Schuldich to help him out of the vehicle.
"Thanks." Omi managed, as Schuldich turned to get back in. "Thank you all." Farfellow giggled, but Nagi and Brad nodded coldly. Schuldich said nothing but smiled briefly before closing the door. The van moved swiftly back into the traffic and Omi looked around, startled to find himself only a block away from home. A cold wind swept towards him and he shuddered, pulling the jacket closer, then stopped blinking again at Schuldich's suit jacket that draped off his own much smaller frame. This time when he moved on, he was fingering the long sleeves thoughtfully.
~~~~~~~
I'm not crazy
I'm just a little unwell
i know right now you can't tell
but stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
i know right now you don't care
but soon enough your gonna think of me
and how i used to be
~~~~~~~
The shops bell jingled cheerfully when he pushed his way in through the door. The shop was almost empty, having only four customers. Youji was working counter. Omi flushed guiltily as he realized that it was his shift. He slipped behind the counter, ignoring the way Youjis face was white and stressed, ignoring the hurt and anger is his friends eyes. He headed for the stairs, brushing away the hand that Youji reached towards him with. Youjis voice stopped him at the bottom of the stairs.
"Where'd you go Omi?" He asked, softly. Omi shrugged and sighed, not talking, not moving. Waiting for what was to come. "Why'd you leave with him?" The last word was said with disgust. "It looked like.." Youjis voice trailed off. "it didn't look good." Youji finished finally.
"I had a funeral to go to." Omi said his voice brittle like glass, feeling stretched almost to the breaking point.
"With him?" Youji countered. Omi bit his lip, fighting the urge to turn and face his friend.
"He came to take me." Omi retorted evenly, taking a deep breath. Youjis voice was tired.
"You were gone all day." Youji tried, standing and taking a step towards him. "Omi i know you feel bad," Youji tried sympathetically. Omis hand clenched into a fist, "But you can't dwell on what happened." Omi shook his head and laughed.
"I'm not dead yet Youji." He said sharply, his voice soft. "I still feel. I have to feel or i'll die." Omi moved up the stairs, ignoring Youjis quickly drawn in breath. Omi squared his shoulders and kept his head high, knowing that he'd insulted Youji. Upstairs he could see that his door had been repaired already, probably by Ken. He headed striaght for his room. When Aya appeared in the doorway to the living room, Omi sighed. Ayas face was solemn, his eyes angry.
"Where'd he take you?" Aya asked coldly, his violet eyes sparking. Omi's lower lip jutted out.
"He didn't take me anywhere." Omi shot, stressing the first word.
"And the fact that he broke in, and carried you down the fire escape over his shoulder doesn't mean anything?" Aya asked, arching a delicate eyebrow.
"It was faster." Omi returned. "Some people didn't want me to go." He sounded like a whiny teenaged brat, Omi acknowledged, then his pout sharpened as he decided he didn't care.
"Well then." Aya voice was sharp and he crossed his arms. "Where did the two of you go?"
"To a funeral." Omi said, walking further down the hall. Ayas sharp intake of breath reminded him of Youjis hurt gasp.
"Omi." Aya said softly, gently laying a hand on Omis shoulder. "You know you can talk to us."
"I don't need to talk." Omi said, pausing before his door. "Just leave me alone Aya."
"You do need to talk." Aya insisted. "You need to sleep, you need to eat and you need to get this out. You'll drive yourself crazy dwelling on this."
"I'm not crazy." Omi shot back firmly sweeping into his room. He slammed the door shut and noted dispassionately that his window had been given a new lock. He kicked off his shoes and collapsed on his bed, holding Schuldichs coat tightly about him.
~~~~~~~
see me
talking to myself in public
and dodging glances on the train
i know
i know they've all been talking bout me
i can hear them whisper
and it makes me think there must be something wrong
with me
~~~~~~~
Aya Ken and Youji were gathered outside Omis room, speaking in low whispers. Ken had gone in earlier with cookies and sedative laced milk. Omi was sleeping.
"What did they do to him?" Youji asked, his voice quiet, not quiet covering the hurt that still lingered. "He sounded so different. He said weird things too."
"Chibi hasn't been happy since the last mission." Ken said, his voice strained. "He didn't sleep for days, and then he gets carried off from the first time he'd slept at all. Hes been really upset."
"He went 4 days without sleep?" Aya asked. "He worked, though."
"He didn't go to school." Ken pointed out, "He just kinda wandered around, like a zombie, he even messed up a few times in the shop."
"A few?" Youji interjected. "Don't cover up for him Ken, he messed up alot. I fixed a few, but most of them went out." Youji played with his hair. "Even the girls have noticed." And it was true, not half an hour went by with out someone asking 'wheres omi?', or 'is omi ok?'.
"His teachers are worried too." Aya added. "Hes never missed so much school."
"He didn't even fight back." Youji said. This was the root of the real worry. Omi could handle death, they all could and had. But this blatant fraternization with the enemy was almost obserd.
"Was he drugged?" Ken asked, worridly.
"He'd still be with them." Aya said. "he said that.. He said it was faster." Aya coughed. "Because we didn't want him to go."
"He didn't say he was going nywhere." Ken interjected, "It looked like he was being atacked, and taken. He just went."
"So what do we do?" Youji asked. The door slipped open and Omi, eyes blazing with anger staired at them.
"I've got an idea." Omi said softly, his voice silky smooth and dangerous. "How about this," He shot them each a scathing glance. "You let me live my life. You back off, and leave me alone." He took a deep breath, hands shaking. "And most importantly, you don't slip drugs into my food. Then how about you not standing in front of my bed room talking about me until you wake me up." The last words were slurred, the drugs still in his system. Omi swayed and caught himself on the door frame. With out another word he pushed past them and bolted down the stairs. Ken grabbed Omis sleeve and halted the younger boy at the top of the stairs.
"What are you doing?" Ken asked. "Omi you need to to rest."
"What i need," Omi said carefully, "Is to get away from here. To get away from you." He pushed Ken away, but the older boy didn't move.
"Are you gonna go to them?" Ken asked softly, his voice strained. "They'll just use you Omi."
"Stay with us Omi." Youji added, "Your safe here." Omis already pale face blanced until there was no color.
"Oh yeah, its so safe to stay here with people who drug me, and put bars on my bedroom window?" Omi snarled. "I'd rather be with Sculdich, at leats with him i know eventually we'll have to go up against each other. It out in the open, and i can trust that." Omi spat at Kens feet. "But you people, you claim to be my friends, but you don't trust me and you drug me and you try to keep me here." He pushed again at Ken and yanked his hand free.
~~~~~~~
out of all the hours thinking
somehow
i've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me
~~~~~~~
It seemed like hours before Omi reached the bottom of the stairs, his head swam and his feet felt like lead. He stumbled and almost fell, prompting Ken to come racing after him, reaching, but not quite touching Omis shoulders. Omi was crying, and he knew that Ken was too. Youji and Aya had just turned away and gone off to their rooms. Stumbling through the flower shop Omi knocked over a display of geraniums, but didn't care. He pushed his way through the door, the bells joyfull jangling ringing discordantly through his head. As he took his first few steps away from the shop, he heard the bell ring again, Ken was propping it open.
"Omi." Ken said softly, and was ignored as Omi took a few more steps. "Omi i'm sorry." Ken said, his voice breaking on a sob. Omi stiffened his shoulders and kept walking. "Omi please," Ken called after him. "I'm sorry." The words echoed in Omis head, and he stopped and turned around slowly. Kens face was streaked with tears. Omi shook his head, and took a step towards the shop, pausing as Ken smiled with relief.
"I know." Omi said, ignoring the fact that their neighbours were probably stairing at them through windows. "I'm sorry too." Omi smiled at Ken, and then walked away. He heard Kens sobs break forth and heard the bells jingle. Footsteps on the pavement proved that Ken was coming after him. Ken place one hand on Omis shoulder.
"Omi, its not safe." Ken said, pleading. "Stay here. You can leave as soon as the drugs wear off." Ken swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry." Omi didn't move, tears streamed down his face.
"I trusted you Ken." He said softly. "But out of the three it was you," Omi paused and took a ragged breath. "You drugged me."
"I didn't want you to get hurt." Ken said, "You needed to rest, you needed to sleep. It was the only way." Omi cut him off.
"It wasn't the only way." Omi cried. "You could have talked to me, helped me get it out of my system. You could have acted like you cared at least."
"Omi, I.." Ken faltered. "I do care though."
"And drugging me proved that?" Omi asked in return, clenching his fists and shaking. "I can't stay here." He took a few steps, brushing Kens hand away from his shoulder. "I need to not be here." Omi kept walking, and was mostly relived that Ken didn't try to follow, but at the same time was utterly hurt that only Ken had tried to stop him, and that Ken wasn't going to keep following. At the end of the street, Omi paused, holding on to a street lamp for support and looked back. Ken stood where Omi had left him, crying and shaking. In the door of the flower shop, Aya and Youji stared down at him. Omi turned and kept walking.
~~~~~~~
I'm not crazy i'm just a little impaired
i know right now, you don't care
but soon enough your gonna think of me
and how i used to be
Talking in my sleep
pretty soon they'll come to get me
they'll be taking me away
~~~~~~~
