Chapter 17: just because
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the MG characters.
***
Ximen woke up feeling quite numb on his right side. He almost panicked, thinking maybe he'd had a stroke while sleeping, before his brain finally told him why that was so. He slowly opened his eyes, afraid that it had all been a dream.
It wasn't.
She was really there.
Beside him.
Slowly, the events of the previous night came back to him. They had talked so long that finally, she'd decided to let him stay the night. He had already freshened up and changed into the shirt she'd 'accidentally' brought with her from their weekend at his beach house along with his boxers, when she finally came out from her bedroom wearing her nightclothes and bearing his beddings for the night. They then ended up talking again and must have fallen asleep on the couch together.
Unable to help himself, he slowly bent his head to kiss her.
But then she woke up with a start.
And before they could both react.
It happened.
***
Shan Cai sat up quickly, unsure of what exactly it was that woke her up. She strained her ears but couldn't hear anything. "Must have been a dream." she thought and shrugged just before she lay back down on the bed. She had already closed her eyes intending to go back to sleep when she heard it.
The sound of someone retching.
Violently.
"Xiao You!" she thought and would have ran to the next room to help her friend immediately, but then she heard something else.
The sound of a distinctly male voice.
A very worried male voice.
"Ximen?" Shan Cai wondered. What was he doing here? She looked at the clock on the bedside table. It was only 6AM. Did that mean that he slept over? It took her about a minute or so to think about what to do next. Should she go over and ask Xiao You if she needed her help? Or should she just leave them both alone to talk?
Slowly, quietly, she got out of bed and walked towards her bedroom's half-open door. But instead of opening it further, she closed it decisively instead. With her, still inside the room. And before she could change her mind, she went back to bed, switched her portable CD player on and pulled on the headphones that came with it.
Maybe it was time that Ximen knew.
***
They could only stare at each other with identical looks of horror.
Ximen, with surprise, unable to believe what had happened.
Xiao You, with self-disgust, unable to believe what had happened too.
She had just thrown up.
Violently.
All over his shirt.
"I'm so sorry…" was all Xiao You could say just before she quickly ran towards her bedroom.
Ximen's surprise was quickly replaced with concern. Was she sick? He followed her once again into her bedroom, uncaring of the fact that his shirt was ruined. Or that he smelled of vomit.
"Xiao You…" he called out from the other side of her bathroom door and tried to open it.
It was locked.
"Baby, are you sick?"
Xiao You meanwhile was groaning as she continued to retch over the toilet bowl, while silently berating herself for allowing it to happen in the first place. She usually had more control. She'd never ever thrown up without reaching the bathroom first. Why, oh why had it happened just now?
Once she had her retching under control, she realized there was really nothing to flush down the toilet. It had all been dry heaves. She flushed the toilet nonetheless just before she went to the sink to splash water all over her face and to gargle. As soon as she was through, she stared at her reflection in the mirror and asked herself why her first violent heaving couldn't have been dry too? As it was, she'd just left Ximen with evidence of her morning sickness.
"Xiao You…what's wrong with you? Please let me in." Ximen continued to plead from the other side of the door as he kept on turning the knob.
Slowly, with trepidation, Xiao You opened the door.
"Are you okay?" were his first words to her when their eyes met.
She nodded slowly and couldn't help but grimace when the smell of her own vomit hit her nose as soon as she stepped out of the bathroom.
Ximen noted the expression on her face and only just then realized what he must smell like. Quickly, without even thinking it through, he took off his soiled shirt, threw it over her head into the bathroom and quickly closed the door after her. The move left both of them just inches apart, her back to the door, his right hand still on the knob, almost around her waist.
Xiao You forgot about her morning sickness. She forgot about her embarrassment at having thrown up at him. She forgot about Shan Cai sleeping on the other side of her bedroom wall. All she could focus on were his eyes and the way his chest almost pressed unto her torso.
Ximen forgot about his question. He forgot that she had just been violently sick. He forgot about the fact that he'd just left her bedroom door open behind him. All he could focus on was the way she had just licked her lips and the way her breath had seemed to hitch at his proximity.
"Xiao You…" he began, wanting to ask something but found himself unable to remember what it was. So instead, he waited for her to say something.
But she didn't say anything. She just continued looking at him.
Waiting.
And before they could both think further, he'd made his move.
The first touch of lips upon lips was unlike any other kiss they'd shared before.
It wasn't the heat, because they had kissed quite heatedly before. It wasn't the passion, because they too have shared passionate ones before. And it wasn't the wonder, because their first kiss held even more wonder for both.
It was the fact that they felt less of these emotions, and yet more.
To Ximen, it was nothing short of a miracle. After all, hadn't it been just days before that she'd told him she wanted nothing more to do with him?
To Xiao You, it was nothing short of amazing. After all, hadn't it been just days before that he seemed to have given up on her?
"I love you."
The words swirled between them as soon as they stopped to take a breath.
Neither knew who said them.
But both heard.
And because the words were out, neither let go.
Ximen stepped even closer and Xiao You met him halfway. He slid his arms around her waist, lifting her up to better maintain their contact. She raised her arms towards his shoulders and wrapped them around his neck to better anchor herself to him.
That single kiss turned into two.
And then into three.
Four.
More.
Ximen's lips trailed down from her lips, to her chin, to her neck and lower.
He groaned.
She moaned.
Her hands felt hot on his skin.
She felt branded by his heat.
He moved his right leg in between hers, both to support her weight and to feel her heat.
She gasped at the contact and could only rest her head helplessly on the bathroom door as he continued to wreak havoc on her senses.
Nothing should have felt novel, after all they'd done it a number of times before. Yet, everything felt new.
Each kiss.
Each touch.
Each nip.
Each suck.
"Bed…" she could barely whisper.
"Can't walk…" he could only murmur.
She threaded her fingers into his hair and pulled to kiss him once more as he finally gathered enough strength to carry her towards the bed. He wanted to take more time with her, but couldn't seem to wait. He could barely muster the energy to take her nightshirt off so he only pushed it up and unceremoniously pulled her panties off. His boxers followed quickly and they both moaned at the contact of bare skin upon bare skin.
With mouths fused, Ximen made the final move that bound them together.
She gasped as he struggled to catch his breath.
She arched towards him as her fingers slid down from his head to his back.
He bowed towards her as his fingers threaded their way unto her hair.
She didn't even wince when his fingers tightened on her hair and pulled at her scalp.
He didn't even grimace when her fingernails raked and scratched down his back.
All they cared about was sharing each other's essence.
And heat.
Ahd wetness.
Back and forth.
Up and down.
Until finally…
with long drawn-out sighs…
they were home.
***
They must have slept afterwards, because when they finally regained their senses, it was past 10AM. Ximen was the first to move. Not away from her though, but rather closer as he turned both of them so she was lying on top of him. He slowly ran his fingers through her hair as he waited for her to awaken.
Xiao You woke up to the feel of his fingers on her hair and his body's heat through her nightshirt. She slowly raised her head up and met his gaze.
"Good morning." He greeted her tentatively, not quite sure if she'll push him away.
And because she sensed his hesitation and uncertainty, her cautiousness melted away and she found herself rising up to give him a soft kiss on the lips, just before she whispered, "Good morning," right back at him.
Although the room was still dark because of the drawn blinds, Xiao You could almost swear it had lit up when Ximen's smile broke through at her greeting. She nearly complained when he closed his eyes but then he quickly opened them once again and hugged her so tightly, she almost couldn't breathe.
"I take it you're happy to wake up next to me." She teased him.
"Ecstatic." He answered her seriously.
"I…" she didn't know quite what to say after, but he saved her from having to come up with anything by sitting up and taking her along with him.
"Come on." He told her.
"Where to?" she wondered.
"Let's take a bath." He answered just before he stood up and proceeded to pick her up off the bed and to bring her to the bathroom. He kicked his soiled shirt out of the bathroom and laid her gently to sit on the rim of the tub. He then opened the taps, adjusted the water's temperature and waited for the bathtub to fill up.
"I could get used to this you know…" she teased him once again.
He turned to look at her intently and just as seriously as before, answered, "Please?"
"Huh?" she asked in confusion.
He smiled at her and moved so he was kneeling between her legs. "I'm begging you to please get used to this…so I can stay forever by your side." He whispered as he ran his hands slowly from her knees to her thighs and under them.
"I…" Xiao You couldn't think past the sensations his touch was eliciting. It was the feel of the water on her behind that finally pulled her back to earth. "The water…" she squealed as she anchored herself by holding on to his shoulders.
He turned the taps off without moving away from her and ended up drawing their torsos closer together. He would have given her a kiss but then she pushed him away, closed her legs, turned around and slid into the water without taking her shirt off.
Once she was settled on one side of the tub, she crooked her finger at him.
He didn't need to be asked twice.
***
The water had long gone cold, but the two of them were still in the tub. Bubbly water was all over the floor, with her nightshirt soaking most of it up. His back was resting on her chest, her legs on either side of his waist with her arms wrapped around him from behind. His hands meanwhile were tracing circles on her knees as she rested her chin on his shoulders with her eyes closed, just absorbing his nearness.
"Marry me." He suddenly asked.
"What?" Her eyes popped open, her body almost sliding down the tub in surprise.
"Marry me." He repeated, as he turned his head towards her.
"Ximen…"
"I love you." He continued as he moved the both of them so she was now kneeling in front of him, between his legs.
"I…" she couldn't speak.
"And I know you still love me." His eyes dared hers to contradict him.
"What makes you so sure?" she finally managed to ask, her heart beating loudly inside her chest.
He didn't answer at first.
Instead, he picked up her hands and laid it on the left side of his chest, just where his heart should be. "You love me." He repeated slowly, certainty evident in his tone. "I know because I feel it."
She didn't speak. She couldn't.
"I knew it six years before. I knew it three months ago. And I knew it three days ago."
"But you left…" she whispered.
"I left because I made a mistake." He answered. "I made the mistake of doubting what it was that I felt. But not again. Never again." He said the last two words emphatically.
She swallowed convulsively, not moving.
"Marry me." He said the words once again. Not asking, but rather, willing her to say yes.
"Why?" she finally managed to ask. Not really knowing what it was she was asking for.
"Why?" he too asked.
"Why do you love me?" She realized what it was she wanted to know at last.
He gave a humorless laugh and closed his eyes briefly. He knew that his answer would either make or break him and he'd never felt more nervous in his entire life.
"I don't love you because you're beautiful, although you are." He began. "And I don't love you because you're a successful businesswoman now, evenhough you really make me proud. And I don't love you because you're smart, though I know that for a fact. Nor do I love you because I know that you value your family and friends. And even as the knowledge that you bore me a child made me love you even more, that isn't the reason either why I fell for you. I love you because…"
"Stop…" she choked on the word as she moved her left hand from his chest to his mouth.
But he clasped her hand and moved it off his lips as he continued anyway,
"I love you for no other reason than that you're you."
"Ximen…"
"I love you just because..." His eyes pleaded with her to believe him.
The tears she was unaware she'd been holding back suddenly fell. She felt overwhelmed.
"I just do." He said over and over again.
Until finally she whispered, "Yes."
"Yes?" he asked as his heart started beating quite heavily in his chest.
"Yes, I'll marry you."
"You will?" his words held a hint of wonder, as though quite unable to believe she had just said yes.
She nodded just before she launched herself into his arms. "And I love you too," she added softly to his ear.
It was just too bad that she'd hugged him when she did and so wasn't able to see his face.
Because if she could, she would have seen how her words had affected him.
She would have seen that just like her, he too had started to cry.
But neither really cared anymore.
They were finally together.
Again.
It was enough.
***
