4. Gone

Thank you all you wonderful people who reviewed, it means so much to me. I love that I am doing something to entertain people and it gives me a ray of hope in a very dark future. There are nights where I lie awake and think of how bad my life is but writing is like therapy for me.

And a message for anyone who knows me and wants to make fun of me, Joanne McLean is such a dick and I hate her and all her popular friends, so if you're reading this to make fun of me then I'm making fun of you first.

BRIAN'S POV

"I can't believe he's dead," Brian said.

Mia put her arms around him. "I'm sorry honey."

"He was a good friend and I can't belive he's dead. I just can't believe he's dead. Who would do such a thing? They said he had been tortured to death before he was killed. Who would do that? Who could do that?"

"I don't know Brian."

"I don't either."

"Do they know who did it?"

"No."

"I'm sure they'll catch him."

"I hope they do, and then I can kill him."

"Brian!"

"What? I've killed people before and I'll do it to this guy. Tanner was my friend and he helped me. he stopped me from being arrested and going to jail. I can't help feeling that I want to kill the person that did this terible terrible thing."

"Justice will be done Brian. You're not a cop any more."

"I know, and it's really killing me."

"What?"

"If I...if I....if I was still a cop maybe this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Tanner would still be alive. Who would do such a thing? I can't believe it."

"Do they know why it happened. It must be some really special reason because a normal killer would have just shot him or something."

"I don't know a thing, but the one thing I do know is that this isn't a normal kliller. This is one really sick guy and I have to stop him."

"Why you Brian."

"I don't know but I have a bad feeling?"

"A bad feeling?"

"A really bad feeling. A really bad feeling that something's gonna happen to you or Dom or Jesse or Vince or Leon or Letty...or anyone else."

Mia just looked at him with dog eyes. "You mean your family don't you?"

"Mia."

"What Brian I was just saying."

"You know I don't like talking about my family. Why do you think I ran away to become a cop? Why do you think I changed my name when I was undercover?"

"I thought you changed it so noone would know who you really were."

"No." Brian had a long, long, long lingering look of deep, soul aching hurt in his eyes as he turned to look at the glowing sun in the Los Angeles sky. "I could have had it the same but I changed it because I was running away from my family, from my past. It was only when I found you guys that I was ok to be me again, that it felt right to be myself."

He cried, tears of frustration, deep, deep built up frustration that he had stored up for years and years. Cried. Creid cried cried. Cried until he felt Mia hold him and comfort him and make everything ok, but it wasn't ok. His friend was dead and he knwew something was wrong and now the past was coming back up and there was Rae.

Rae. It was all that he could think about. It ewas all that he had on his mind just now. He couldn't stop thinking about her and all the times he spent with her. He just couldn't stop. He wanted to tell Mia, but how could he. He couldn't come out and say it. He couldn't do that. It would hurt her and he didn't want that. He could keep on keeping everything a secret but how long would it last? He did not know and he wished that it could be the least of his worried right now but it wasn't the least of his worries.

"Do you want to try and talk about your family Brian?"

"No."

"It may help."

"I said no."

It was only Rae that he could speak to. She was the only person in the world that he could open up to. Be completely defenceless. To let down his guard. It was something he couldn't do in this tough underground world of illegal racing and life or death decisions, this viscious world where only the strong survived. If you let down your guard here then you would die or lose your car or something and Brian didn't want that to happen.

"I was just asking."

"I know."

"I was only trying to help."

"I know."

Mia stood up. "I'm always here if you need to talk."

"Thanks," Brian said, but knowing in the secret chamber of his heart where truth lies that it would never, never happen.