Chapter two : true evil
Note : this is the true first chapter review and tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions on what I should improve on let me know.
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Riku : Sora you don't get it do you? Your not going to stop me from getting the black destiny.
Sora : the black destiny that's what it is?
A keyhole opened front of Riku and a light shot from the keyblade into the keyhole.
Riku : crap I feel horrible at least I'm not that creep.
Sora : good to have you back.
Riku : good to be back.
The truth is for some reason Riku has not been turned back to good.
Riku : I think I'll rest that took the crap out of me. Ugh
Sora : you rest.
Riku : ok.
Sora left the little house to go challenge Tidus.
Riku : simple minded idiot…
When Riku was sure he couldn't here his footsteps anymore he climbed out the window.
Riku : it's close I can feel it…
And just as quickly as the feeling came it evaporated.
Riku : The guardian is obviously very good at his job…
Suddenly the darkness in Riku grew larger.
A black Aura went around Riku's body.
Riku swung his weapon a portal opened and with that he disappeared.
He was at the deep jungle.
Riku : I will have the black destiny and no one will stop me.
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Phantom : come closer it's almost done….
Phantom : a little more it will be game over for you!
Black destiny : (thought) you know I am the power you want come seek me.
~~~~~~~
Sora : where is Riku?
Where could he have gone?
A few hours later.
Sora : I searched the whole island and he's not here.
How could he have gotten away was all that was going through Sora's mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku : where are you?
Phantom : right here and I've got what you want.
He disappeared in a piece of smoke.
Riku : playing games are we? You act like an amateur.
Riku heard a voice in his mind.
Phantom : don't act so high and mighty you may find that you are in more danger than you think you are.
Riku : we'll see.
Phantom : yes we will. You should of took heed of the legends.
Riku : trying to scare me?
Phantom : I'm trying to make you afraid of what you should be afraid of. But even if you are afraid it won't make a difference.
Riku : I have no idea what you're talking about. But it won't make a difference anyway.
The voice suddenly disappeared.
Black destiny : (thinking) yes that's it lure him to his destiny or should I say fate.
Riku opened a portal where he thought the black destiny would be.
Phantom teleported to the hollow bastion where he sensed Riku would be.
Riku : so you're here.
Phantom shot a blast of energy at Riku and Riku reflected it.
The phantom then disappeared.
Phantom : he's getting stronger which means…
Black destiny : he's almost done for.
Phantom : soon another soul gone…
To be continued…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note : so how did you like the first chapter of the story? Review and let me know.
Note : this is the true first chapter review and tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions on what I should improve on let me know.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku : Sora you don't get it do you? Your not going to stop me from getting the black destiny.
Sora : the black destiny that's what it is?
A keyhole opened front of Riku and a light shot from the keyblade into the keyhole.
Riku : crap I feel horrible at least I'm not that creep.
Sora : good to have you back.
Riku : good to be back.
The truth is for some reason Riku has not been turned back to good.
Riku : I think I'll rest that took the crap out of me. Ugh
Sora : you rest.
Riku : ok.
Sora left the little house to go challenge Tidus.
Riku : simple minded idiot…
When Riku was sure he couldn't here his footsteps anymore he climbed out the window.
Riku : it's close I can feel it…
And just as quickly as the feeling came it evaporated.
Riku : The guardian is obviously very good at his job…
Suddenly the darkness in Riku grew larger.
A black Aura went around Riku's body.
Riku swung his weapon a portal opened and with that he disappeared.
He was at the deep jungle.
Riku : I will have the black destiny and no one will stop me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phantom : come closer it's almost done….
Phantom : a little more it will be game over for you!
Black destiny : (thought) you know I am the power you want come seek me.
~~~~~~~
Sora : where is Riku?
Where could he have gone?
A few hours later.
Sora : I searched the whole island and he's not here.
How could he have gotten away was all that was going through Sora's mind.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Riku : where are you?
Phantom : right here and I've got what you want.
He disappeared in a piece of smoke.
Riku : playing games are we? You act like an amateur.
Riku heard a voice in his mind.
Phantom : don't act so high and mighty you may find that you are in more danger than you think you are.
Riku : we'll see.
Phantom : yes we will. You should of took heed of the legends.
Riku : trying to scare me?
Phantom : I'm trying to make you afraid of what you should be afraid of. But even if you are afraid it won't make a difference.
Riku : I have no idea what you're talking about. But it won't make a difference anyway.
The voice suddenly disappeared.
Black destiny : (thinking) yes that's it lure him to his destiny or should I say fate.
Riku opened a portal where he thought the black destiny would be.
Phantom teleported to the hollow bastion where he sensed Riku would be.
Riku : so you're here.
Phantom shot a blast of energy at Riku and Riku reflected it.
The phantom then disappeared.
Phantom : he's getting stronger which means…
Black destiny : he's almost done for.
Phantom : soon another soul gone…
To be continued…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note : so how did you like the first chapter of the story? Review and let me know.
